The Battle for the Sandwich

[Unintelligenius he/him]

18 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Named is also severely wounded though! He can barely stand!

Named growls and hurls red luxin at Jerome. The force is too much for his weak legs, though, and he falls backwards.

Jerome ducks, but too late. The red luxin catches him on the shoulder and hurls him to the ground. His vision dims, and he can feel himself begin to drift away. As a last-ditch effort, he flares tin and pewter at once. The sudden pain and awareness clear his mind. He grabs his fallen dagger and crawls to Named, knowing he has very little time left.

8 hours ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

\At this realization, a paradox portal opens and swallows me up, and disappears instantly, dropping me off in a location that you cannot know the name of.

Fortunately, my portal gun doesn't need to know the name of a location to teleport me there. I just turn the know to the "Find the Sandwich" setting, shoot a portal out of my gun, step through, and grab the Sandwich.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

I, the sandwich, turn off your mouth momentarily, which startles you, I run away.

I'm not trying to win here, I just am the sandwich trying not to be eaten

Edited February 3 by Kaladist The Ketek Writer

[Unintelligenius he/him]

7 minutes ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

I, the sandwich, turn off your mouth momentarily, which startles you, I run away.

I'm not trying to win here, I just am the sandwich trying not to be eaten

Alas but it twas all a dream..... (you have to bold your sentences for them to happen)

I pick up the Sandwich and step back into the portal and back into the arena stands. 

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

I AM THE SANDWICH! I yell, breaking your ears permanently. I sandwich crawl out of your grasp, /ban your portal gun, and teleport both of us to a separate arena.

I summon 523190.8 metaphysical copies of my sandwich self. We surround you.

Each one pulls out an AK-47, fully loaded. We fire simultaneously. 

 

^also it was bolded^ 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

19 minutes ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

I AM THE SANDWICH! I yell, breaking your ears permanently. I sandwich crawl out of your grasp, /ban your portal gun, and teleport both of us to a separate arena.

I summon 523190.8 metaphysical copies of my sandwich self. We surround you.

Each one pulls out an AK-47, fully loaded. We fire simultaneously. 

I snap my fingers and you all disapear. I mutter a prayer to the pigeon god who I forgot his name for keeping me safe. I then use my portal sword to get back to the arena.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

Just now, Unintelligenius said:

I snap my fingers and you all disapear. I mutter a prayer to the pigeon god who I forgot his name for keeping me safe. I then use my portal sword to get back to the arena.

Uno reverse card.

You disappear.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

28 minutes ago, Unintelligenius said:

Jerome ducks, but too late. The red luxin catches him on the shoulder and hurls him to the ground. His vision dims, and he can feel himself begin to drift away. As a last-ditch effort, he flares tin and pewter at once. The sudden pain and awareness clear his mind. He grabs his fallen dagger and crawls to Named, knowing he has very little time left.

Fortunately, my portal gun doesn't need to know the name of a location to teleport me there. I just turn the know to the "Find the Sandwich" setting, shoot a portal out of my gun, step through, and grab the Sandwich.

The duel is kinda pathetic at this point. 

16 minutes ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

I AM THE SANDWICH! I yell, breaking your ears permanently. I sandwich crawl out of your grasp, /ban your portal gun, and teleport both of us to a separate arena.

I summon 523190.8 metaphysical copies of my sandwich self. We surround you.

Each one pulls out an AK-47, fully loaded. We fire simultaneously. 

 

^also it was bolded^ 

I yawn and freeze the bullets before they can ever exit the guns. I ignore the fake copies of the sandwich and excise you from the real one, then bring it to my palace for safekeeping. I snag what’s left of you and stab you a couple times with Nightblood, then pop you in a bubble of stopped time encased entirely in silver. That done, I award the sandwich-you-copies with a two month vacation at an exclusive private resort. 

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

Just now, Ashkaloda said:

The duel is kinda pathetic at this point. 

I yawn and freeze the bullets before they can ever exit the guns. I ignore the fake copies of the sandwich and excise you from the real one, then bring it to my palace for safekeeping. I snag what’s left of you and stab you a couple times with Nightblood, then pop you in a bubble of stopped time encased entirely in silver. That done, I award the sandwich-you-copies with a two month vacation at an exclusive private resort. 

Ahhh.. you assumed three incorrect things.

1. my guns shoot bullets

2. all the other sandwiches were fake

3. That was Nightblood you stabbed my police dummy body with.

My sandwich army armed with Lightweaved potatoes that look like guns, unfazed by your offer, eats your palace while you look away

Instead of Nightblood, I swapped it with a reverse-Anti-Stomlight dagger, permanently sealing my soul to the Sandwich.

Welcome to Stormlight voodoo: it only can be done once per person

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

3 minutes ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

Ahhh.. you assumed three incorrect things.

1. my guns shoot bullets

2. all the other sandwiches were fake

3. That was Nightblood you stabbed my police dummy body with.

My sandwich army armed with Lightweaved potatoes that look like guns, unfazed by your offer, eats your palace while you look away

Instead of Nightblood, I swapped it with a reverse-Anti-Stomlight dagger, permanently sealing my soul to the Sandwich.

Welcome to Stormlight voodoo: it only can be done once per person

Your army is then immediately smited by the gods of continuity, never to be referenced again. And by me, because I had to work a while to bring my palace to Arrakis from underneath of Tell’s fortress. Also because I’m salty that it turned down my vacation deal. 

The sandwiches are in fact fakes, as there was an official ruling some time ago that there can only ever be one true sandwich.

I offer Joey the Demon a lollipop if they steal your soul for me, and they agree. Your soul is now inert and entirely disconnected from you, essentially meaning that the sandwich now has one really big soul as its original fuses.  

After being torn from your soul, you appear on Everyone’s world, where I stand next to you. I propose a deal. 

My palace respawns. 

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

"What deal?" I ask, fiddling with a seemingly infinitely thin grilled cheese in my 8 hands.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

4 hours ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

Uno reverse card.

You disappear.

I float through space and time until I get kind of bored and decide to reappear in the arena.

4 hours ago, Ashkaloda said:

The duel is kinda pathetic at this point. 

Quote

yeah a lil bit

Jerome collapses before he can get to Named and realizes that his pewter stores are rapidly depleting. He tries to surge forward but ends up collapsing from the pain. Then the pain fades, and all is black. He floats through the darkness, neither seeing nor hearing, just being. 

Medics run into the arena and drag Jerome's body from the sand. He has been eliminated from the duel.

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

5 hours ago, Ashkaloda said:

The duel is kinda pathetic at this point. 

I yawn and freeze the bullets before they can ever exit the guns. I ignore the fake copies of the sandwich and excise you from the real one, then bring it to my palace for safekeeping. I snag what’s left of you and stab you a couple times with Nightblood, then pop you in a bubble of stopped time encased entirely in silver. That done, I award the sandwich-you-copies with a two month vacation at an exclusive private resort. 

Yeah kind of

Though I believe that the duel for Arrakis lasted even longer

1 hour ago, Unintelligenius said:

I float through space and time until I get kind of bored and decide to reappear in the arena.

Jerome collapses before he can get to Named and realizes that his pewter stores are rapidly depleting. He tries to surge forward but ends up collapsing from the pain. Then the pain fades, and all is black. He floats through the darkness, neither seeing nor hearing, just being. 

Medics run into the arena and drag Jerome's body from the sand. He has been eliminated from the duel.

Lightsickness hit Named, and his head felt like it would split open. Named screamed, struggling to keep his eyes open, yet continued drafting anyway. His skin began to glow in every colour of the Spectrum

Named can kill both Bartholomew and himself at this point simultaneously, if you'd like that @Ashkaloda

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

8 hours ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Yeah kind of

Though I believe that the duel for Arrakis lasted even longer

Lightsickness hit Named, and his head felt like it would split open. Named screamed, struggling to keep his eyes open, yet continued drafting anyway. His skin began to glow in every colour of the Spectrum

Named can kill both Bartholomew and himself at this point simultaneously, if you'd like that @Ashkaloda

Bartholomew smiles to see Jerome escorted out. Grimacing, he struggles to his feet and is hit with a wave of dizziness. He doubles over, gasping.

Whatever you see fit to do.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

I run down the backstairs of the arena, panicked and in total disbelief. 

He can't die. He won't. It's not possible.

I reach the medical bay beneath the stands and burst through the doors to see Jerome lying on the bed in front of me, already attached with tubes and wires. I collapse at his bedside and clutch his limp hand. 

Come on, you can make it. You have to make it.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I completely ignore Jerome and steal the Sandwich via mysterious means

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

1 hour ago, Unintelligenius said:

I run down the backstairs of the arena, panicked and in total disbelief. 

He can't die. He won't. It's not possible.

I reach the medical bay beneath the stands and burst through the doors to see Jerome lying on the bed in front of me, already attached with tubes and wires. I collapse at his bedside and clutch his limp hand. 

Come on, you can make it. You have to make it.

Awww poor Jerome 

45 minutes ago, NerdSandwich said:

I completely ignore Jerome and steal the Sandwich via mysterious means

I appear in front of you and pluck the sandwich from your hands. 

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

4 hours ago, Unintelligenius said:

I run down the backstairs of the arena, panicked and in total disbelief. 

He can't die. He won't. It's not possible.

I reach the medical bay beneath the stands and burst through the doors to see Jerome lying on the bed in front of me, already attached with tubes and wires. I collapse at his bedside and clutch his limp hand. 

Come on, you can make it. You have to make it.

Wow this is becoming more and more RP-like

5 hours ago, Ashkaloda said:

Bartholomew smiles to see Jerome escorted out. Grimacing, he struggles to his feet and is hit with a wave of dizziness. He doubles over, gasping.

Whatever you see fit to do.

Named roared, still covered in blood and shards of luxin, and drafted more sub-red than he ever had before, splitting the sky with a pillar of fire. The nanomachines in his eyes strained to provide enough infrared light, and when they, combined with the IR from the sun, weren't enough, Named drew the heat from his own body.

The air itself began to burn. Beneath Named, the sand of the arena began to turn liquid in an ever-growing circle around him.

Named quickly cut his flow of sub-red, then launched orange and red into the air, the force of which cracked many of Named's metalmind-covered ribs, before resuming the flow of sub-red.

The mixture exploded, vapourising the entire arena. Shards of half-cooled glass where flung towards the spectators. Only a crater remained where Named and Bartholomew once stood.

A crater, and, where Named was, lay a chunk of what looked like metal, except that it was bone-white.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

11 minutes ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Wow this is becoming more and more RP-like

Named roared, still covered in blood and shards of luxin, and drafted more sub-red than he ever had before, splitting the sky with a pillar of fire. The nanomachines in his eyes strained to provide enough infrared light, and when they, combined with the IR from the sun, weren't enough, Named drew the heat from his own body.

The air itself began to burn. Beneath Named, the sand of the arena began to turn liquid in an ever-growing circle around him.

Named quickly cut his flow of sub-red, then launched orange and red into the air, the force of which cracked many of Named's metalmind-covered ribs, before resuming the flow of sub-red.

The mixture exploded, vapourising the entire arena. Shards of half-cooled glass where flung towards the spectators. Only a crater remained where Named and Bartholomew once stood.

A crater, and, where Named was, lay a chunk of what looked like metal, except that it was bone-white.

I am mildly annoyed that my popcorn spilled from the force of the blast. I am more concerned with who won the duel, given that both Bartholomew and Named were eliminated at the same time. 

[Guest Ψιτιsτηε Βεsτ]

1 hour ago, KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren said:

Wow this is becoming more and more RP-like

Named roared, still covered in blood and shards of luxin, and drafted more sub-red than he ever had before, splitting the sky with a pillar of fire. The nanomachines in his eyes strained to provide enough infrared light, and when they, combined with the IR from the sun, weren't enough, Named drew the heat from his own body.

The air itself began to burn. Beneath Named, the sand of the arena began to turn liquid in an ever-growing circle around him.

Named quickly cut his flow of sub-red, then launched orange and red into the air, the force of which cracked many of Named's metalmind-covered ribs, before resuming the flow of sub-red.

The mixture exploded, vapourising the entire arena. Shards of half-cooled glass where flung towards the spectators. Only a crater remained where Named and Bartholomew once stood.

A crater, and, where Named was, lay a chunk of what looked like metal, except that it was bone-white.

It’s always pulsed in and out of roleplay… where even if the sandwich right now?

[Unintelligenius he/him]

7 hours ago, Ashkaloda said:

I appear in front of you and pluck the sandwich from your hands. 

I stand up, mutter a quick prayer to the god pigeon who controls the universe, and hunt down the Sandwich with a spear in hand. After a couple of hours of searching, I walk away with the Sandwich and you walk away with a spear... impaling you.

1 hour ago, ʟɪɢʜʈ said:

 where even if the sandwich right now?

i has it now

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

 

5 minutes ago, Unintelligenius said:

I stand up, mutter a quick prayer to the god pigeon who controls the universe, and hunt down the Sandwich with a spear in hand. After a couple of hours of searching, I walk away with the Sandwich and you walk away with a spear... impaling you.

As you walk away, your head is shucked off by my paper-thin, razor sharp, target-locking grilled cheese shuriken. I pick up both sandwiches and poof into mist, gone from your sights.

[Through The Living Ash he/him]

6 minutes ago, Unintelligenius said:

I stand up, mutter a quick prayer to the god pigeon who controls the universe, and hunt down the Sandwich with a spear in hand. After a couple of hours of searching, I walk away with the Sandwich and you walk away with a spear... impaling you.

i has it now

I pull out the spear, impressed at its impaling capabilities. Truly, it is a very good spear, unlike all those other lousy spears that are only halfway sharpened. I award it "Spear of the Year" and put it in my display shelf. 

[Unintelligenius he/him]

5 hours ago, Kaladist The Ketek Writer said:

 

As you walk away, your head is shucked off by my paper-thin, razor sharp, target-locking grilled cheese shuriken. I pick up both sandwiches and poof into mist, gone from your sights.

I reattach my head and unpoof you so that you reappear, then I steal the Sandwich and swim off into the distance.

[Keteᛕ He/Him/His]

7 hours ago, Unintelligenius said:

I reattach my head and unpoof you so that you reappear, then I steal the Sandwich and swim off into the distance.

As your hand passes though my well made Lightweaving, your hand is now stuck inside a miniature black hole.

[NerdSandwich she/her]

I steal the Ring the Sandwich from you by using a Conjuring Spell because we wants it yess my precious.