The Battle for the Sandwich

[Sequence]

I, having shrunk down to the size of a button to fit in your backpack, grab the Sandwich and jump out of your backpack. I then quickly an silently dig a Sandwich sized tunnel to escape through, leaving you none the wiser.

[Immortal Platypus]

I detect the sandwich hole and follow it, digging a Platypus sized hole to follow through. I take the sandwich from you.

[Xiahida]

I eat an apple to distract you while I take the Sandwich

[Sequence]

I eat a pear to distract you while I take the Sandwich.

[Immortal Platypus]

I eat a sandwich to distract you from me taking the sandwich.

[Xiahida]

I feel proud of starting a trend to and thank you while I covertly take the sandwich.

Edited October 6, 2023 by Xiahida

[Aredor]

I hire an eagle, and it grabs the sandwich from you and gives it to me. 

Edited October 6, 2023 by Aredor

[Immortal Platypus]

I am secretly the eagle and delivered a fake sandwich

[Xiahida]

I use a lasso to pull in the eagle and wrestle the sandwich out of its grasp

[RaeTheRaven]

But as you focus on keeping the eagle's sharp talons away from your eyes, I swoop in and steal the sandwich. 

[Immortal Platypus]

As you lassoed the wrong eagle who also somehow had a sandwich, which I discovered was the real one, I charge at you, tackling you and take the sandwich.

[RaeTheRaven]

you were too slow to post, so I get the sandwich by default!

Edited October 9, 2023 by RaeTheRaven

[Xiahida]

I am speed incarnate so I take it from you

[Immortal Platypus]

I was not saying that I had the sandwich, I was conceding that somehow another eagle had gotten it from me, so you didn't get the sandwich by default, which mean Xia doesn't have the real sandwich, I do.

[Xiahida]

Uno Reverse!

[Immortal Platypus]

DOES NOTHING HERE!

[Xiahida]

I shove a Nope sandwich down your throat

[Immortal Platypus]

I eat that sandwich and keep the sandwich.

[Aetherbound]

While you were busy eating the nope sandwich, I was firing my prototype breath-blaster at you. It jammed and I shook it, which did nothing. Eventually, I got it to fire, the breaths, which were building up the entire time, had become so concentrated that they no longer could awaken things, but will simply vaporize anything they come into contact with. The sandwich is vaporized, which breaks the rules. To solve this, I gather the sandwich vapor and solidify it in Thaidakar's hand.

[Immortal Platypus]

As it broke the rules, the entire post is invalid, even the fix, as the fix could not happen as the problem didn't occur! 

[NameIess]

I take advantage of this conundrum by making a Star Trek-style transporter and using it on Platypus. As the sandwich can't be destroyed, it is left behind, allowing me to grab it.

[Immortal Platypus]

I am transported behind you as your transporter malfunctions. I grab the sandwich from your hand, then fly away (cause a platypus can do that, totally).

[Xiahida]

I eat a sandwich trying to enjoy the peace and quiet.

[InvestedDragonLJ]

I transform into a swarm of bats Dracula style and snag the Sandwich.

[Xiahida]

I use a mix between a crossbow and a shotgun to hit the bats and catch the sandwich as it falls