The Battle for the Sandwich

[Edema Rue she/her]

19 minutes ago, Being of Cacophony said:

I grab the safe with the sandwich and sit inside it with the sandwich.

The snail is on the wall of the safe. Being a snail.

[aetherbound he/him]

Objects around you start coming to life again, the safe spits you out and eats the sandwich, your clothes once again tie you to a convenient metal pole, a large amount of concrete comes to life and falls on top of you. I harden it with progression and slide away, looking for more breath.

The snail is gently placed in a nearby sandwich shop.

Edited October 5, 2023 by Aetherbound

[Edema Rue she/her]

19 minutes ago, Aetherbound said:

Objects around you start coming to life again, the safe spits you out and eats the sandwich, your clothes once again tie you to a convenient metal pole, a large amount of concrete comes to life and falls on top of you. I harden it with progression and slide away, looking for more breath.

The snail is gently placed in a nearby sandwich shop.

The snail looks around in wonder and excitement, stretching its eyestalks as far as they go.

[Immortal Platypus]

1 hour ago, Aetherbound said:

Objects around you start coming to life again, the safe spits you out and eats the sandwich, your clothes once again tie you to a convenient metal pole, a large amount of concrete comes to life and falls on top of you. I harden it with progression and slide away, looking for more breath.

The snail is gently placed in a nearby sandwich shop.

THE SAFE HAS BROKEN THE RULES! IT IS NO LONGER EXISTING!
The safe shatters and the sandwich appears. I pick it up. And what you don't realize is that I'm a Platypus, we have fur, not clothes, and my fur already alive. I eat the concrete and rise, not even bruised to take my revenge. As the only being near me at that time was the snail, I track it down and throw it into a portal to anti-sandwich land.

[Edema Rue she/her]

24 minutes ago, Being of Cacophony said:

THE SAFE HAS BROKEN THE RULES! IT IS NO LONGER EXISTING!
The safe shatters and the sandwich appears. I pick it up. And what you don't realize is that I'm a Platypus, we have fur, not clothes, and my fur already alive. I eat the concrete and rise, not even bruised to take my revenge. As the only being near me at that time was the snail, I track it down and throw it into a portal to anti-sandwich land.

The snail learns to cry.

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

1 minute ago, Edema Rue said:

The snail learns to cry.

I, the snail therapist, give it therapy.

And also bring the sandwich to me using [Redacted].

[Edema Rue she/her]

Just now, Ancient Elantrian said:

I, the snail therapist, give it therapy.

And also bring the sandwich to me using [Redacted].

The snail begins writing poetry.

@[Redacted] why did you help him?

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

1 minute ago, Edema Rue said:

The snail begins writing poetry.

@[Redacted] why did you help him?

I explain that @[Redacted] didn't help me, my lawyers just won't let me say what I did to get the sandwich. I also compliment the snail on its poetry.

[Immortal Platypus]

5 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

I, the snail therapist, give it therapy.

And also bring the sandwich to me using [Redacted].

2 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

I explain that @[Redacted] didn't help me, my lawyers just won't let me say what I did to get the sandwich. I also compliment the snail on its poetry.

You are using a term copyrighted by a citizen of my republic. I sue you for the sandwich, and the court gives you no choice. I walk off, happy with my sandwich.

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

Just now, Being of Cacophony said:

You are using a term copyrighted by a citizen of my republic. I sue you for the sandwich, and the court gives you no choice. I walk off, happy with my sandwich.

I am also the Sandwich police, though, and I arrest you for being happy with a sandwich, and confiscate the sandwich. 

[Immortal Platypus]

Just now, Ancient Elantrian said:

I am also the Sandwich police, though, and I arrest you for being happy with a sandwich, and confiscate the sandwich. 

I bring you to court again for corrupt interests and it is revealed that you are actually faking being a police officer! They lock you up and I take the sandwich again.

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

1 minute ago, Being of Cacophony said:

I bring you to court again for corrupt interests and it is revealed that you are actually faking being a police officer! They lock you up and I take the sandwich again.

I, the prison guard, let myself out. Then I take the sandwich from you in a completely definitely 100% legal way *Wink Wink*

[Immortal Platypus]

You, being inside the cell, couldn't reach the button to let yourself out, so the rest of that sentence was invalid.

Edited October 5, 2023 by Being of Cacophony

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

1 minute ago, Being of Cacophony said:

You, being inside the cell, couldn't reach the button to let yourself out, so the rest of that sentence was invalid.

I lengthen my arm and push the button. Then I ilegally take the sandwich.

Edited October 5, 2023 by Ancient Elantrian

[aetherbound he/him]

1 hour ago, Being of Cacophony said:

THE SAFE HAS BROKEN THE RULES! IT IS NO LONGER EXISTING!
The safe shatters and the sandwich appears. I pick it up. And what you don't realize is that I'm a Platypus, we have fur, not clothes, and my fur already alive. I eat the concrete and rise, not even bruised to take my revenge. As the only being near me at that time was the snail, I track it down and throw it into a portal to anti-sandwich land.

I explain that the safe did not break the rules, the sandwich was intact as the safe could not digest it, I use abrasion to increase friction between you and the ground, then take the sandwich, bringing it to thaidakar once again.

[Immortal Platypus]

39 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

I lengthen my arm and push the button. Then I ilegally take the sandwich.

I charge you with theft. I get the sandwich back, then they lock you up with a guard.

19 minutes ago, Aetherbound said:

I explain that the safe did not break the rules, the sandwich was intact as the safe could not digest it, I use abrasion to increase friction between you and the ground, then take the sandwich, bringing it to thaidakar once again.

You did not say that, you said that the safe ate the sandwich, which isn't possible. I am friends with Thaid, and so he gives me the sandwich.

[-Redacted- he/him]

I thank Platypus for defending my copyright of [Redacted] ©™.

[Grubfriend He/Him]

I shout Hamilton music as I dive and snatch the sandwich

[Immortal Platypus]

I curb stomp you, then take the sandwich back.

[Grubfriend He/Him]

I shove you into the bell of a tuba headfirst, then retrieve the sandwich

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

I nick the sandwich off of you and run for the hills.

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

i get a headache and run into you, making you drop it, when i notice the sandwich and pick it up.

[Immortal Platypus]

I shove you aside, casually pick-pocketing the sandwich as I do. "Sorry, didn't see you there." I continue walking

[Grubfriend He/Him]

I slam a sledgehammer into your head and take the sandwich

[Aredor]

I cover the path around you in glue. While you are stuck, I take the sandwich and put it in my backpack.