Fatebreaker

The stranger didn't seem surprised. Really? Dang. That's the problem when you aren't bound by reality, existence can tend to slip away from you if you aren't paying attention. Happens when I get hungry. Did I hear something about a sandwich? He looked hopefully at the woman with refreshments. She, along with everyone else, looked kind of uncomfortable. Stranger sighed, that happened alot. He shrugged and turned back to their chief. Anyway, as I was saying... All of the color in the room seemed to be fading, slowly turning grey. all except his eyes. A void could be felt emanating from him. He looked around at the sudden silence and noticed the state of the room. He whistled loudly and things snapped back to their previous state. He grinned sheepishly. Wow, hungrier than I thought. My apologies, I'll be right back. He snapped and a hole appeared in the floor, with steps leading down into the darkness. He walked down talking to himself and was lost from sight. My, that was embarrassing. It's terribly rude to accidentally warp reality when you first meet people. I should've just sent a letter. But I had to see his darkness for myself...

Well, let's get things goin' shall we? Kelsier 21 Miles 20 Ferring 20 Lerasium 15

Terra - Prime Terran

I hate to break it to you, but spike proof vests don't work anymore because of recent advances in DA sales technology: http://www.17thshard.com/forum/topic/16335-hemalurgic-bullets/ Not that you'd need it anyway. (Psst Voidius, do you remember were the sales points are for saidar?)

Didn't take. Hemalurgy works with the Spirit Web, and the internet is soulless.

Stranger realized that the figure on the throne was not decorative and in fact the man he was looking for. He tried to estimate how big of a turkey you could carve with that chopper of his. He eventually remembered why he was here. Ah, the big Kahuna himself. Greetings. I have come for several reasons. First and foremost, I have come to seek your endorsement on behalf of the Dark Alley, Pioneers of Science. The prestigious guilds and courts cast large shadows, and in those shadows thrives the Alley. It has grown and changed and no longer solely consists of us lurking around the introduction thread( Though that is a time honored tradition still heavily in use). And so it comes time to address the guilds. We seek nothing as cumbersome as a treaty or alliance, merely your endorsement. I think it will be mutually beneficial. Terms can be negotiated, and I... The Stranger flickered then vanished completely. Then 10 seconds later, he appeared again, talking as if nothing had happened. ...hope an understanding can be reached. he reached into one of his sleeves and pulled out an apple, which he proceeded to much as he waited for a response.

The Stranger noticed the woman with refreshments. He absently wondered if they had sandwiches. He remembered himself and grinned at her, his eyes glowing in his brown face. Oh, it's you, the Waffle Woman. Seen ya around the Alley a time or two. Go in for that slavery stuff. Not my cup of sauce, but to each 'is own. Pleasure ta meet'cha. Is the big boss around? I've a proposition or two for him. I think he'll find them most ludicrous. No wait, that's not right... Lucrative! That's the one.

Aons 0 FATALITY. Breath 3 Ferring 20 Investiture 5 Lerasium 10 Preservation 8

Better than I imagined. Well done Elsa.

Fresh as they come! And they're watered daily with the tears of orphans.

I'm down. It would also end the corruption of the Sunglasses and Sunscreen Industries. pluss it'd be waaay easier to sell cookies. Let's bring about a revolution of Darkness.

Oh, are we busting out deep, philosophical lines? I got one: Without the darkness you can't truly appreciate the light. And without the light the Solar Power industry would die. So we should appreciate both, as long as it's the right kind of darkness and light.

Well, what kind of sight are we talking about? Mundane sight, transdimensional sight, hunger sight, foresight, hindsight? Anyway, my vision is not important. What is important is how many carrots and, ahem, "donors" you wish to purchase. Any attempt at spike DA salespeople could result in unfortunate circumstances for you, any fish you own, and the Czechoslovakians*. *Not sure why...

Before the Scholar could begin diplomatics of any sort, there was an explosion in the throne room, followed by billowing smoke and the smell of confusion(kind of a overwhelming, minty smell). A voice is heard from within the cloud *Cough, Cough, ugh*... of all *pfff* the times to sneeze, I had to do it while teleporting... A figure emerges from the smoke, waving his hand to clear it and coughing. His long black coat billowed like the smoke which swirled around him and there was a top hat tilted back on top of his head. He searches the room with eyes "the color of insanity". He notices the Scholar Oh, hello shkooler(an off-world synonym for scholar), good ta see ya. I have a message for the head honcho of this here establishment. Would'ja know where he be?

We at the Dark Alley sell carrots genetically engineered to be extra pointy. And they just happen to be on sale...

Lifeless Beauty: A Story of Awakening

Aons 10 Breath 9 Elantris 6 Ferring 11 Hemalurgy 3 Investiture 9 Lerasium 10 Miles 14 Preservation 10 Kelsier 20

hmm... Then there remains but one course of action, WE MUST SPIKE THE INTERNET ITSELF!!!

Slithering Spike Snakes, what happened? have I upset the local site deities? Maybe I should offer them some cookies...

All this fuss, it was a simple* contract. It seems like history loves to repeat itself. A ruler signs something and everyone gets up in arms, waiting, hoping the deal is broken. I believe in dealing openly**, and I can almost sorta possibly guarantee that the Newcago throne is safe***. And it's true, left means sinister in latin. You can look it up on SpikapediThis post has been reported for attempting to skirt the rules** This post has been reported for attempting to skirt the rules. (Nothing personal Lefty. Just Business. But if you want you can have one of our brand new Dark Alley Donuts!)

Well you sign on the line( includes both signature and royal seal) and then write or record an endorsement. Something along these lines: Hi, I'm Elsa Steelheart, ruler of the newcago court, and when it comes to completely harmless cookies there's only one place for me. Dark Alley baked goods. People who I send to visit the Dark Alley always experience Spikes of joy, among other things. So don't hesitate, visit the Dark Alley today!" Post it here, in the Dark Alley http://www.17thshard.com/forum/topic/14879-people-you-wouldnt-want-to-meet-in-a-dark-alley/, or anywhere you feel like it. Thank You, the Dark Alley appreciates your business.

On my way! let me grab some samples and victims customers. LostRadient, you seem to be a helpful chap. care to assist us in some, ahem, research. I assure you, It's For Science!*

Incoming Communication For the Queen of Newcago: Greetings your frostiness, it is I, Him who probably shouldn't be named, the Laughter Unseen, Denizen of the Dark Alley, Spren of madness, Fatebreaker. (Please hold applause. Or don't, either way) You have been chosen for the unique opportunity of endorsing The Dark Alley Baked Goods Co. ! This means you'll get a discount on all DA baked goods, receive one of our complimentary victims customers every year, and we'll decrease sales in your court by 5%(or something)*. Not to mention the prestige and warm charitable feelings.** All ya gotta do is sign here: Thanks for your time and remember: we can see your house from here. Bye-bye! Post Script: if you prefer I can make the pitch in person, but that's much more dangerous.

All this distrust-ing-ness (Yes it's a word, just not on Terra). What is the world coming to these days? And I'll have you know that those are propaganda donuts and by eating it you have probably agreed to give the Newcago court the soul your firstborn child now. DA baked goods have no strings attached. Just spikes general feelings of goodwill. Ask Voidius.

Aons 9 Breath 10 Elantris 8 Ferring 11 God King 0 DARK ALLEY SPIKE FATALITY. Hemalurgy 10 Investiture 11 Lerasium 10 Miles 12 Preservation 10