Fatebreaker

The Ballooner hadn't thought things could get worse. Really he hadn't. The evil demon birds had been bad enough, flying on wings made of nightmares and despair, seeking to feast on his eyeballs like succulent grapes with rather striking blue irises. But then things got very much worse. The Mad Ballooner watched as huge tendrils of diamond rose from the museum at a perfectly horrendous speed. They twisted and turned, like the tentacles of a giant sky-sqiud imagined by a third grader, like an unholy space alien envisioned by the 70's, like the vengeful spirits of the Zales sales associates he had shot back in Maryland, like... The Ballooner realized that perhaps this was not the proper time to come up with an exquisite analogy, but rather the time to exercise the better part of valor. Getting the sparks out of there. "Schultz, prepare Plan Fivfe!" Schultz grunted in affirmation and turned to the Mad Ballooner. Tape shot from his hands, attaching itself the the mad ballooner's torso and limbs. "Schultz! Be hurryink PLEASE!!!" Schultz ignored his panicked outburst and maintained focus. In seconds he had crafted a sort of wingsuit around him. He then proceeded to craft a similar one for himself. "Schultz, they're gettink CLOSER!!!" Schultz looked up as the last pieces of tape came into place and nodded. The Mad Ballooner ran to the front of the Zeppelin and shouted, "Escape Pan FIVFE!!!" He flung his arms wide and created the largest amount of balloons he'd ever made in his life. And all of them were of an explosive nature. Well, most of them. There were some confetti balloons as well because they were just so festive the Mad Ballooner couldn't resist. He turned and ran towards the rear of the zeppelin where Schultz was waiting. He turned back towards the museum and shook his fist "You may haf beat us zis time, but ve vill be returnink tvice as stoAAAAYEAAAHEHEYEHHHEEEEEEEEEEE..." Before The Mad Ballooner could finish his horribly cliche line, the diamond tendrils hit the first of the balloons, causing an explosion the like of which he had seen only in Chuck Norris Films. And maybe some Michael Bay films as well... But unlike the movies where the hero is unaffected by explosions and their repercussions, this explosion sent out a shock wave that slammed into the zeppelin, launching the Mad Ballooner and Schultz through the air and away from the floating museum. Moments later the zeppelin met it's untimely demise to the diamond tendrils, creating another large explosion. Needless to say, it was not quite the exit The Mad Ballooner had been hoping for.

Hunger and Thirst are the two great motivators in Life. Taking your metallic monkier into account, I assume you have heard of the Wondrous Science of Hemalurgy? An Art-form and a Science all at once. Both Magic and Science, Myth and Reality, Ancient and Cutting Edge, it is the greatest of disciplines. We of the Dark Alley are dedicated to further understanding and utilizing this misunderstood practice for the good of the Cosmere. Admissions are always open and Applicants are always welcome. We can be found around the introduction threads, many cosmere theories involving hemalurgy, and other surprising places. If you wish to join out ranks, head over to the Guilds Section and give us a holler. We're always open. And we're Always watching.

Because the Stick would not become fire.

Would that be the department that disperses our sentient research materials, or the one that oversees working conditions, because the latter is alot less amicable, and you may want to wait until he's dealt with the Faceripper Iguana outbreak in Alley 15...

I like this guy. There may be a place for you sir in the Dark Alley. Find research fascinating? Enjoy experimentaion? Think that Hemalurgy is a superb science with alot of potential and a bad rep? Then the Alley is the place for you. Dinnae list t' the Naysayers, their words are naught but lies and jealousy.

For the answer just check out the Brandon Sanderson Facts thread.

Getting ready to write my last Ballooner post for the attack, which will involve him getting the heck outta Dodge He will be dropping alot of balloons filled with random stuff in his panic. Does anybody want one to hit a certain character? It could be anything from acid to pure sulfur.

hmm, much useful data here to be gathered for the DA... My biggest fear is that I'll live a boring life. One that's not very memorable and lacks adventure. I doubt it will, since it seems I'm always going on adventures, but then fear is rarely rational. the bright side is it's hard to threaten me with that fear. "stay back or I'll give you a career in the midwest!"

No need to apologize, just keep an open mind. Gaze at the Cosmere through a clear lens, not a black and white one. If you seek to know the truth of the most powerful Science in Existence, we will be waiting... And we'll have snacks. Lot's of snacks.

WHY ISN"T IT OCTOBER ALREADY?!?!?!?!?!?!?

It's not a game, it's, ...Science

Unfortunately there is a sort of prejudice against us Denizens of the Dark Alley and our art, creating tasty treats for the masses. People lobby all sorts of dreadful accusations against us and our craft. But we bear them no ill will and will continue to greet people with a smile and a snack. And the 't' is crossed out.

It feels like I'm going to confession... Rock has ALWAYS had a thick russian accent. Very thick. Anyvon who say othervise is Airseecklowlandur. Marsh has hair that had gone prematurely gray. He has silver hair, with hints of it's original darker color. Vasher looks kinda similar to Aragorn, but more ripped and harder facial features. More unkept, ragged, and angry. I could never imagine the Lord Ruler as young. He was always late forties, stern and cold. The purelakers are hawaiian/polynesian and they wear rice hats. Mistwraiths make a shlurping sound as they move along. Schlurpershmurmfplesclerfashurmp... (I know this is in the SA thread, but I had to get the non SA one off my chest) I knew I couldn't be the only one. And I think Szeth looks cooler black Yes! This is probably my biggest one. Being half hispanic, I instantly recognized Lopen as hispanic, or at least the cosmere equivalent. Outgoing, talkative, loves food, loads of cousins, frightening mothers who make you eat lots of food, it's me and my family. And I believe it's actually been confirmed that Herdazians are based off of hispanic peoples. I personally see them as puerto rican, since there is no set puerto rican look. Some look black, some look white, some just look puerto rican. Lopen is definitely a homie.

ay, Gancho, you wound me with your distrust. But I can see my gift of cookies would be wasted on you, so I will not insist. However, allow me to offer you a tasty meat pastry of my own devising, good for the bones and the heart. And 100% safe.

I personally think Denizens is the proper term, right DA?

Welcome Gancho! Here, I made you some complimentary welcome cookies, because every Herdazian knows food is the beginning of friendship.

As an occasional mechanic, I found this comment highly amusing. It's sad but true You cannot get rid of the ponies here, illuninati. You can either join them or distract them by posting pictures of other things. Or just do what I do and coexist by pretending pony is a code word for bagel.

Got a Ballooner post up. My plan is as follows: Lucentia will try to kill them with her diamonds. The ballooner will see the tendrils of oh-so-sparkly-death coming, he'll freak out and drop assorted balloon bombs, slowing the diamonds and creating a smokescreen. Then Scuhltz and him will abandon ship, escaping on wingsuits made of tape(small, fast, hard to see), then either explode the zeppelin or Lucentia can destroy it seconds after they escape Sound good?

The wind whistled softly as the Mad Ballooner floated towards the floating Museum. They had gained sufficient altitude that they had risen a ways above the floating museum and could now begin approaching it. Unfortunately, flying this high meant it was rather cold, and every time they passed through a low lying cloud they got an unasked for bath. The Mad Ballooner cursed as he wrung his mustache out over the side of the gondola. "Nexsht time Schultz, be remindink me to bring some hant towvels or somesink. I svear, I haven't bazed zis much int years." His anticipation built more and more, growing with each passing moment. Closer and closer they came to the field of glorious battle. Looking closely, he could see his comrades engaging the enemy. Unable to contain himself, he bellowed with all the volume he could muster "Beholt! Ze Madt Ballooner has come! Come to finnaly frakture ze fearsome flyink fortress off his formidable foes! Mine viktory has come! WA HA HAHA HA!!!" He finished his maniacal laughter and looked back at the museum, just in time to watch the MEE strike force get utterly decimated. his jaw dropped as the dinosaur, a real life dinosaur, came and ate Stitch. That was too much. He could handle lasers, he could deal with flaming skulls, heck he could even tolerate a guy who could turn his hands into bloody skill saws. But dinosaurs were just too much. How was he supposed to compete with that? He could make balloons! This other Epic could create dinosaurs! The Mad Ballooner had heard that this Lightwards could create dinosaurs, but he had thought it an elaboration. But as he watched Stitch get blended like he'd been thrown into a prehistoric Cuisinart, he realized that perhaps this plan might have one or two flaws... Schultz, having come to the same conclusion, had already begun to turn the zeppelin around. This however, upset the Mad Ballooner, because he had not given the order to retreat, and didn't like that Schultz was assuming he was a coward who wanted to run from this fight. Even if it was true. "Schultz!" he whispered as angrily as possible, "I did not give ze order to be retreatink!" Schultz gave him a flat look and continued to turn the zeppelin around. The Man Ballooner, enraged at Schultz's impudence, was about to give him a Costco-sized piece of his mind, when they were attacked by a small pterosaur. It was small, it's wingspan barely a few feet across, but to the Mad Ballooner it seemed that a duck from hell had come to claim his soul. He whipped out his Luger and fired wildly, killing three other pterosaurs he hadn't even noticed, but completely missing the one currently dive bombing towards his face. He whimpered softly and he waited for the end as the demonic creature opened it's toothy beak in a scream. Just as it was about to rip his eyeball from their sockets, a bullet removed it's brains. Schultz fired four more times, killing a pterosaur with each shot. He then turned back to the Mad Ballooner, his expression unchanged. The Mad Ballooner swallowed, "Jah, maybe retreatink ist a goot idea." It was then that they were spotted.

I just watched that movie last night. So good. Ballooner post today hopefully, but not till tonight. Work work work...

One of my favorite Allomancy Pranks: Get a Lurcher misting to come with you. Find someone who's alone and hide out of sight nearby. Lure them into a large coin on the ground that the lurcher steadily pulls towards your hiding place When they're within your reach jump out with your Lurcher friend, and stab a spike through the Lurcher into the unsuspecting person shouting, "Surprise!" Not only did you get to pull a funny prank, but now the person has super-powers! Every one wins!

I appreciate many of you non-mlp references. I don't get the mlp references because I've no exposure to it other than you folks. Plus being one of the few Non-Brony crowd makes me unique now. I'll try and get that Ballooner post up today, but no promises since I'm at work until late tonight. Very late.

I would go, BACK TO THE FUTURE!!!

Whaat, noo... We're just, sad when people leave ^For making the occasional Veggie Tales reference, which I always find amusing