Usseewa

hey uh... i don't know all the everything about enbies but how do you call their sexuality? Like if their attracted exclusively to, say, women, then I wouldn't think you could call them straight nor gay/lesbian, right? Idk just curious hopefully not offensive same goes i guess for neopronouns and stuff, and i guess everyone idk I'm confused now

Swiss

Butter and Jelly and nothing

depends on the person it's about maturity, in my opinion, not age. unless we're talkin legal. though ig that's called age of majority, ig. or adult too, idk. it also could just be a more gradual thing, not just waking up an adult lol. (i don't mean legally

For teen(s)

i know grian lol

(Okay that was half on purpose and I ended up having to recreate it but...) honestly... I think it mainly "harms me" when it interferes with daily life cuz I use it to procrastinate, but that also goes with other things. And I think a lot of my depression is probably all the depressing content I consume (and create, I guess). I'm sure we were/are both affected negatively by our intrusive thoughts. facts. straight up. Getting a break after phone = good. uhhh idk yeah thx for the... what's it called response you too, Will

yeah, okay.. sorry but... I'm already feeling some better in the past hour or two so I'll see if i still need to tomorrow or smth. *But* I'll keep in mind and try next time. My diet probably sucks tbh. I haven't gotten exercise in a few days, and not consistently in... idk a week or more. I had a week or so a bit ago where I got lots of walks... but then my weak legs got sore and I took a few day break which turned into longer. as for sleep .. i don't get good sleep usually. ooh, good idea. When I'm depressed, doing something "happy" or good fir my health like going to bed early ("early" meaning at a good time, since I go to bed "late" usually), I just don't wanna do it and it makes me depressed or something to think about? lol idk. Sigh, yes. For the phone, I guess a weeklong break from the Shard doesn't necessarily work when I doomscroll the internet looking up ... mental health topics. Sometimes I feel like I just need to truth kicked into me, metaphorically. Idk I can't explain it right now but there's a specific example I'm thinking of, kind of. Too vague though to explain. Lol. Anyway ...... I guess I'll uhm try that stuff? It just feels like... it's useless to do the good stuff cuz it's just pushing off depression and stuff, and depression will just come back. Maybe that just turns it into a self-fulfilling prophecy tho ("I'm depressed, but doing something good for me won't help cuz I'll just be depressed again later! So I'll just stay depressed and.. oh") if that makes sense. And now I'm seeing much what you mean by i already got it figured out (I'm on phone so I can't really spoiler-for-length) uhh anyway yeah I guess I'll take a break from the shard yet again lol, and this time try to do something off the Net.

ayooo out of curiosity, how'd u unleaven me? (unalive)

guys look at how many posts were made on apr 30

I lose @ life anyone experienced delight recently?

uggghhh I'm just feeling very depressed I think and it's kinda all my fault I basically wasted the last two days doing nothing but using the Shard or watching a bunch of short films about depression and stuff on youtube. and today much the same. I was feeling happier or something before that (after feeling pretty bad) and then i guess didn't want to feel happy so I ruined it haha. I don't even know if I'm depressed, but I also can't focus on anything unless it's watching more depressing content. Like, anything... I didn't eat well the past day or two and today, and I overslept somewhat. I think I'm self-destructive or something (I haven't used the term or know much about it, so idk). Also for some reason I feel like someone else/not myself while writing this post and it's weird... I could reach out to someone (IRL)... but for some reason I want to wait a few days until I... feel better or something. I get that a lot, where I want to wait until I, say, haven't been on my phone all day in a bit, and so the depression can't be attributed to that... hehe... Also I just feel bad physically which makes it hard to concentrate too. Like hungry and my stomach feels... acidic or something. Or my eyes feel weird (probably from staring at my screen for hours on end). CW SH I just feel like I keep making myself depressed or more depressed and nothing helps, or I just keep going back to it and doing it again after everyone and myself tells me to get off my phone or the Internet, or to stop drowning in depressing crem, stop writing repetitive depressing "poetry" (not sure if it even counts). And I keep posting here or being depressing on the Shard or whatever, but I also have no one else I want to talk to cuz withdrawal, and therapist meetings aren't exactly every single day. Going back to the physical feeling, I just feel gross and sick, idk. I mean I was kinda sick recently but yeah idk. I just can't do anything tho, but... sit/lay around watching youtube or something. I think I'm tired too, despite getting a good amount of sleep, or at least better than my regular amount. And I just feel like I'm wasting my time but can't do otherwise. Maybe like I've already "corrupted" my day and might as well just ruin the rest of it. I also don't wanna think about my tasks and the stuff I should be doing. I have texts from a friend from like a week ago I haven't replied to. I have school crem I gotta be doin'. I probably have other stuff I forgot to do. I also have some decisions I gotta make. I got "heavy/big stuff" I've been thinking about a lot and started talking about with my therapist. I also got some other obligations to do. Plus "self-care" crap. I'm not sure whether I want to stay up all night (either to sleep-deprive myself, be tired, have more time in the day, or all) or just sleep to escape all my obligations and tasks, because it's like when procrastinating when you use the excuse that the day's already over and you're tired, so you'll do it tomorrow... So, I can go to sleep and... lessen the guilt/burden/worry thing. And with the sleep-deprivation thing, I just.. want to not sleep and see what it's like and just be (more) tired and... idk yeah. Now I think I'm being selfish because I also want to not sleep so I can... flaunt it, or something. Or maybe it would just be another cry4help... Sighhhh. And now I'm just too sick to think, yk? Exhausted, can't stand to think about these issues anymore and... idk, it gives me a headache (even if just a mental one). I just, I don't know. I feel horrible in my body so maybe I need to get some fresh air or something like is always said. What I really want to do is lie in bed watching/binging youtube, anime, movies, etc. and not think about anything or anyone or myself. I basically did that yesterday... But like, why would I do this to myself, yk? I *knew* I shouldn't as I was starting watching depressing stuff, but I also didn't really care, and wanted it, or used a pitiful "it won't make me (more) depressed!" that I didn't even believe. I somehow don't feel like I can reach out to anyone. This is related to what I said before about wanting to wait a few days to get sorted out or somehow fix my issues a bit and already be on the path toward improvement by the time I reach out. I also can't even handle people talking anymore, especially to me. I just wear my headphones 24/7 and turn the volume up when around people, and try to keep conversations as short as possible. I also noticed my intrusive thoughts are somehow gone, maybe they have been for a while actually, idk. TW SH ugh somehow writing this all makes me feel sick(er). I just keep complaining, but when I don't and keep it all inside it feels horrible. edit: and I'm hungry but I just ateeeee edit2: I'm havin ice cream to soothe the hunger also i just want help, yk? i just want help but... idk. I want to talk. to people. I feel so lonely and deprived or human connection but I also isolate myself. edit3: I'm probably dehydrated lol. also somehow I'm briefly feeling happier but i still want idk

noicee 88

Lol weird/cool side note: is the shard laggy for anyone else on both my phone and computer. And other websites aren't. It's, like, never this bad tho edit: ...I guess it's working normally now?

Oh, uh, I'm not super active at this "period of my life." (Like, people might have to wait a day or even a few). So you can take over if ya want. Edit: lol my post made it seem like I wanted to do a character... sorry

why is the wind kanji plus the other kanji still kaze (かぜ)? Did u forget the other one or.. idk? Oh, neat, I might check 'em out. I forgot to do Anki yesterday, I think. And the day before maybe? Or was that the one where I did do them? I lose track of days lol. I don't know much about particles, but from what I do they seem interesting. Welcome

thank you I'll check them out if I remember later.

@Honors cognitive shadow maybe