Usseewa

Gawx?

The Lopen?

uhh Jasnah? damnit soneone elaleeady guessed her. uhhhhh... what abiut kadolin meatbe? people guess him too lol.. shellan?

im scared about what I am, cuz I don't know. ive been thinking about it more, lately. kinda. thinking about what i might be. and i dont know. i dont know what i want, or what makes me happy or sad or anything. i guess the only thing is lately ive been very sad and/or angry. i dont know who i want to be besides not me. i dont want to not want hrt though.. cuz ugh cuz what if that meand im not trans when i thought thats what i was and then what am i?

minceraft havnet plaiyd ihn muhnths...

Did anyone do... It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia :3 (never seen it) It's Never Gonna Give You Up (sorry i dont really know how this game worsks i just wnated to say that(

To be honest, I use the word "dissociation" because I think it describes or is similar to what I experience, but I also have a sort of perfectionism for definitions in that I feel I must perfectly understand the word/term I'm using before using it, or provide clarification or uncertainty ("or something") because I don't want to be wrong and I don't really know if I'm using the thing right or if I can claim it, etc. Even using the word "perfectionism" and claiming to have it is subject/victim to this... But aaaaanywayyyy, yeah I'm on meds- in general. I don't know if any ate specifically for dissociation feelings - if there even are any for that - or if the general ones like depression meds or whatever help with that in general. I don't know if I relate specifically to that ('nother planet, lost pups), but... I guess it (or something) feels like I'm withdrawn to/in my mind, and don't interact fully with the world/other people. I feel depressed perhaps then, and don't want to interact cuz then they'll probably notice. I'm thinking a lot, I can get sick or maybe dizzy or... idk. Maybe it's "just" ruminating- though even that I don't know much about, or what it is or if I experience it and how to tell. How do I remember things- thoughts, specifically? While writing this, I've been (trying) to think back to a specific situation I had sometime last week or the one before, and maybe I'm just distracted and can't devote my focus to it since I'm writing at once, but I can only remember a brief glimpse before my mind moves away from it. I have a single flash and then it's gone, and I can return, sort of, but it just goes away again after that same flash. I can create some memory of it, but can't examine and remember if it is accurate- if I *actually* thought, felt, etc. that. Oh, I suppose I didn't - and should - say the situation. It was in group [therapy], and I barely participated (as has been the case more recently...). And I was tired and drifting and such, and - not just in that one day, it was more a collection of days I'm remembering - I realized a few times that "these people are real, what they are saying has actually happened- it's not just some distant or fictitious tale from some stranger; it happened to someone who is alive, like me." Of course, I don't always feel alive - or at least I like to say I don't (i.e., I like to say I feel dead or am not / don't feel alive) - but... idk, it was odd. Perhaps empathy, I'm now wondering. Or sonder. Or derealization, or anything or nothing or everything. I don't know if I *wanted* to know/feel that it was real, though. I don't know, the memories and thoughts are slipping thru my fingers. For your last paragraph, sometimes I just can't focus on the audiobook or movie or whatever, though. I do write - though have done little to none in the past days or week or however long. I occasionally do art, though I rarely if ever have intent or meaning behind it. I have trouble deciding whether or not something - something I do, a medication, therapy, etc. - helps or not, which is kinda annoying/hard when I meet with my Dr. about meds. I thought about what I was going to say next a day or more ago: I do things that are harmful but I either don't know or I enjoy it or something, then sometimes I realize it's harmful when I thought it not, or I knew all along. Sometimes it's even reversed. But anyway, this leads me - I think - to question things... Both "how do I know this is *actually* helpful, or I just like doing it?" and "how can I take the sum total of my experiences and thoughts - both past and recent and present - to come to any conclusion about the effectiveness (or lack thereof, or opposite thereof) of this medication?" And sometimes I just think there are alternative causes for any change present after starting a new med. Sigh. So, I don't know. I write, maybe it helps maybe not, maybe sometimes it does and other times not. I'd like to think it does, but.. yeah. So uhmmm yep.

@Honors Spectral Image holy farts (hehe) those are epic nice tchaik 6 graffiti and holy ado that beach kewl flewer too the second one was taken through a windshield at night in rain

Photography clubb bbbb yioeeeee basically talk about and share photography if u want keep in mind safety stuff if you care about digital privacy concerns