kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

played an unhealthy amount of botw today

got my three final sheikah towers, four shrines (but i started with four spirit orbs already so i got one stamina vessel and another heart one so now i have 17 hearts)

upgraded stasis and bombs, bought a bunch of ancient arrows and an ancient bow, and cooked a lot

also sold a bunch of stuff and then blew my money right away

now i’m gonna work on the pirate fit! i think i just have to dye the skirt and make a nail set and i’m basically done!!!

my friend and i made a wedding cake

i scribbled out the initials but yeah

ISNT IT PRETTY???

we walked to walmart to pick up edible glitter and sprinkles and then came back and baked for like 4 hours lol

now we’re going to the chiropractor 

ALSO REMIND ME TO TELL YOU GUYS ABOUT THE TEXT-TO-SPEECH I FOUND

good morning humans

got quite lucky at the thrift store yesterday

might do a haul later but i’m getting ready for my pookie to come over so not rn :3 

OH MY GOSH

I JUST GLANCED OUT THE WINDOW TO SEE A SQUIRREL DO A SOMERSAULT INTO A SCUDDING BACKFLIP

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

AAH HE JUST DID IT AGAIN

AWWWW WAIT HE’S PLAYING WITH A STICK THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER

squirrels are such a mood i love squirrels

ive never seen such a hyper squirrel he’s jumping all around oh my gosh this is the cutest thing

OH MY GOSH WAIT HE’S A LITTLE BABY SQUIRRELLLL AND HE’S PLAYING WITH HIS MOM

AHAHAHA SHE’S CHASING HIM

what a wholesome start to the morning

not working out until later today cuz i’m busy but i will work out

i’m so excited to see my friend i’m not even kidding like i am bursting with excitement i love her so much and i haven’t seen her since last friday and we’re gonna have so much fun ehehehehhehehhehehehehe maybe she’ll finally start me on arcane :3

and we can walk to the fro-yo place a couple blocks from my house and t h en go to walmart and maybe down to the parkkkkk

I’M SO PUMPED

my little siblings got to go to topgolf with the cousins so mom’s taking me and littlest brother out for brunch and thrifting

so remember how yesterday i said i was gonna put my phone down

i literally had my worst screen time of all time. 

8 hours. 8 hours. that is ridiculous. 

so

uh

i think i’m gonna try a little harder today lol

a lot of that was reading so if i wanna read i’ll just print stuff out instead

and no doomscrolling youtube

and yeah that’s basically what i used it for

i already have an hour today because i was up til like 1 reading so

grrrrr

i should probably do my workout… but i don’t wannaaaaa

i woke up sad today

thinking about auditions and crap

still trying to work through all that haha

hwre ykw

answer this question for me while i find a spot to work out 

what should i do for my pirate nail set

the scariest part of depression is the desensitization

and the not caring anymore

and how normal it all feels

like… there are people who wake up excited for their day. that astonishes me. 

there are people who don’t struggle to sleep or to eat or to put down their phone or to talk to their friends and family and just

idk

i have voice lessons today

 i don’t want to go

 but if i stay home i know i’ll just rot away on my phone on the couch

i haven’t done anything productive today

well.

i’m very angry with our show choir program right now. 

there have been a lot of things that have happened lately that are affecting the way the program works and its performers. 

first off. after auditions, rumors started spreading that freshmen were making the varsity groups. this was weird because for years and years, there’s been a rule that freshmen can only make JV. we disregarded this until we got actual confirmation that multiple freshmen had gotten calls from the directors offering to move straight to the varsity girls’ group. the problem is they never told anybody they were changing the rule. it was this underhanded, secretive, hush-hush thing that they never told anybody about until whoops! rumors! and they still haven’t addressed it. it’s also really unfair to the people who have already gone through the program and were held back by this rule. 

second is the list thing with all my friends making varsity except me and stuff. i’m really really trying not to be bothered but it’s hard and i almost broke down crying today when i saw a girl from school at the store who told me she’s excited to be in the girls group with me. which sounds so stupid. but whatever. 

to top it all off, they fired our best director. the JV director, who also does both of our groups at one of the middle schools and does all our music and our show bands. 

like. 

what. 

excuse me???? 

he is literally the most talented person i know and he directs his groups SO WELL. the middle school varsity group has been undefeated FOR THREE YEARS. THE JV GROUP AT THE HIGH SCHOOL HAS BEEN NEAR UNDEFEATED AND HAS EVEN MADE FINALS. THE SHOW BANDS HAVE WON BEST BAND AWARDS AT MOST OF OUR COMPS FOR YEARS.

WHAT ARE THEY DOING???

he was my favorite director. like i like our other directors but they’re just 

idk. 

idk. 

i’m pissed right now.

might legitimately consider quitting and just come back next year. take a break year. but i don’t see myself making the varsity mixed group if i do that. 

anyway. 

gonna actually throw hands 

that’s how my spring break is going!!!

ahahahahahah!

did a 20 minute workout this morning

 feeling good

 also downloaded a calorie tracker app on my phone because my eating habits lately have SUCKED like tell me why all i are yesterday was a bowl of boxed mac and cheese and a cupcake

 oh i forgot about the breakfast burrito

 and the chocolate croissant

 help

 so yeah uh lol

 i’m also gonna try to stay away from my phone for the most part today

 gonna probably take a walk outside, hang with my sis, do a nail set

 OOH I SHOULD DO SOME WRITING TOO 

that novella isn’t gonna edit itself

 and i need to finish my pirate fit for next month… and send out actual invites to the faire…

 have a good day guys

 also, TLT people, i know i kinda dropped the ball on you guys lol (@Through The Living Glass @Spark of Hope @Bird Furious) so i apologize for that

 i’ll be picking that back up tomorrow or on wednesday

 thanks for being patient with me love y’all!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAGIIII

chat

i’m working on ordering my first art print ever

i cant believe it

this is gonna be so awesome

i already ordered a free sample pack that comes with all the paper options and stuff!! i’m a little concerned about it getting here on time because my project is due on the 16th, which is in 10 days

it said the sample could take up to 10 days to get here, and then i’d have to order the print after that

so i guess fingers crossed?

i could always email their customer service or whatever but if need be i’ll just go to fedex/kinkos or smth

update on the show choir situation

lists came out last night, as many of you are probably aware

i made our girls group again, which is fine

the part that hurts is that every single other person in my audition group/immediate friend group moved up to our varsity group except me.

it feels like they moved on without me.

i will be fine, but i’m not ok right now and probably won’t be very active today or tomorrow as i need time to process. 

i knew my audition wasn’t as good as i wanted it to be, but i just guess i thought i still had a shot especially because there were so many open spots this year, and our audition group was really good, but not too good where i looked bad. unless that’s what happened. i don’t really know exactly where it went wrong; i’ll be going in for audition feedback after spring break is over.

i’ve been deflecting with humor so far because i don’t want them to feel bad. i’m really proud of them and i really am happy for them that they made it. i just wish i did too. especially because i lowkey have like separation anxiety lmao. 

i do still know people in my group. i have a few friends. but they’re not in my main friend group, and to be honest, it’s really scary to be the only one who didn’t move up because now we’ll have all these rehearsals and these bondings and shows where they’re together and i’m not with them and what if we grow apart and all that crap

i’m just hoping for good blocking this year, which i expect will happen if i work hard enough, especially cuz our choreographer tends to put upperclassmen closer to the front

i’m also really hoping maybe i can get a solo because i’ve been so close so many times and i think now i kind of have an upper hand because i’ll be an upperclassmen and i’ll have been in the program for longer and i’m taking voice lessons now too so

i also hope our show theme is good and that the group is good because there are a few names on the list that i’m just like “………..0_0 no please no” so that’ll be fun…

anyway

just wanted to update you guys

moral of the story is i’ll be fine 

i just need to process

and i’m absolutely having my friends over more because i’m gonna miss them so much and i want to have a relationship with them so i need to make up for lost hours  

tryna be optimistic haha

anyway i’m gonna go eat something and take some tylenol because apparently crying until one AM and then only getting six hours of sleep gives you a really bad headache

i’m going to spontaneously combust

i am so nervous

my heart is actually POUNDING

seven minutes

haly

funny story

i was walking out of school today

and i was just chilling

and then i was like “what the heck” because there was a goose also just chilling

on the hill by the parking lot

let me find the picture

bro was just chilling 

just laying there, completely unbothered by the world around him

it was pretty funny

voice lessons went very well  

my teacher told me to start memorizing my song (The Hand That Feeds by The Crane Wives, ofc) cuz she wants me to sing at her showcase

also show choir lists come out in two hours and fifteen minutes and i’m going to die

chat i think i might’ve did something

6 hours, 10.6K brush strokes, over the course of about a week

best viewed at full brightness as that’s how i paint (you know the drill )

i’m actually really happy with how it turned out

might get it printed

this is the first one i’ve done with this many people in it! it actually turned out really well i’ll post process pics and stuff on my creative thread after school

@Bird Furious @Mag

art update! here’s the piece progress

it’s looking pretty decent but there’s still a long way to go

@Bird Furious @Mag @Through The Living Glass