I know exactly what you're feeling. My advice, focus on the good things as best you can. It's going to be hard, but you can do it. Never let the bad thoughts win.
You are a daughter of God, you aren't an accident or pointless. He has a plan for you and purposes only you can fulfill.
Don't be afraid to reach out to someone, there are so many people who love you so deeply, they can and will support you out of love. Contrary to what you believe, they will do it because they want to, not because of some obligation you put on them. As someone who was on the other side, I 110% CHOSE to be there for the other person. Any obligation I felt I CHOSE to put on myself.
Lastly, remember that the atonement was about more than just sins. Christ felt everything you feel exactly how you feel it. Because he bore that pain, he is capable of standing beside you and helping lift that burden. Turn to him because he loves you more than infinitely.