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Everything posted by Thaidakar the Ghostblood
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"I'm jealous of the rain
That falls upon your skin
It's closer than my hands have been
I'm jealous of the rain
I'm jealous of the wind
That ripples through your clothes
It's closer than your shadow
Oh, I'm jealous of the wind, causeI wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without meI'm jealous of the nights
That I don't spend with you
I'm wondering who you lay next to
Oh, I'm jealous of the nights
I'm jealous of the love
Love that was in here
Gone for someone else to share
Oh, I'm jealous of the love, causeI wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without meAs I sink in the sand
Watch you slip through my hands
Oh, as I die here another day
Cause all I do is cry behind this smileI wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without meIt's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me."Y'all, I cannot wait till I find someone to fall in love with. It's going to be the best. But... until then... I can just fantasize with a song like Jealous and sit beside the fire and think of what I will do when the time will come.For now, all I can do is that. Oh, and read romance novels while listening to epic music. Ya know. But that's only the back up plan.I sit beside the fire and think of how the world will bewhen winter comes without a spring that I shall ever see.For still there are so many things that I have never seen:in every wood in every spring there is a different green. -
In my village, there is a huge lack of wood
There's a hole in this big neighborhood
All our homes, we had to build them back up
But now they're made of dirt
I wanna know where my wood is (Yeah, wood)
I want you to show me ('Cause we're talkin' 'bout so much wood)
I wanna find where my wood is (I wanna know where my wood is)
I know you can show me -
…
reality has become a lot more real suddenly.
- Show previous comments 4 more
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I can handle what reality is, what I can’t handle is the false reality that I’ve begun to build where everyone has a clear cut motivation that can be easily guessed in any given interaction. That… that makes it hard to handle reality when I’m not looking at what’s real but at what’s false, even if that fake reality looks so real and very much like the real reality, it more enticing to my confused writer self.
But I exaggerate for emphasis. It is not as bad as I put it there, but it is still aching to know the way I’ve been viewing humanity like a novel or a tv show where montages take place.
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I don’t want to give yall a false look into how I am feeling. I’m not freaking out, I’m not panicking, but it’s simply annoying to know that I’ve been undermining myself in yet another way. It simply means I have yet more work to do in fixing myself to match my ideals. It’ll probably take longer than I want it to, but when ever had that happened?
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Something.
