RedBlue

It’s true that Jak is an unreliable narrator, but even unreliable narrators have rules. The reader needs to be able to tell when the narrator is lying or embellishing, and we need to be able to make a good guess at what the in-universe truth is, or the story wouldn’t work. In the case of the aluminium box, its existence is both plausible and not contradicted by anything else in the story (like Handerwym’s footnotes). I think we can be very confident that Jak really did find an aluminium box with Koloss spikes in it. As for the logistics of why this works ... I dunno. The way Investiture is moved about varies wildly between magic systems, and it hasn’t really been nailed down for hemalurgy.

I agree with this - the Radiants aren’t having a moral code imposed on them; they are choosing to follow a moral code. Also, it’s built into the magic system that people attract Radiant spren who are compatible with them, so the moral code they choose to follow is going to match their beliefs and personality. I don’t see that there’s anything wrong with that. And this is another important point. The Radiants aren’t blindly following some simple, rigid moral code. They’re actively interpreting what their Ideals mean as they go. When Kaladin is seriously considering assassinating Elhokar in WoR, his bond with Syl almost breaks. This doesn’t happen because it’s set in stone that assassination or regicide is bad. It happens because, deep down, Kaladin believes it’s the wrong thing to do. That’s why the Ideal is to protect even those he hates, so long as it is right. (I know some people on this site would argue that killing Elhokar is justified, but that’s not the important point here. The point is that Kaladin judges it to be the wrong thing.)

Okay, but if you don’t get any benefit from the aluminium, then why make the box out of aluminium at all? Whoever put those spikes there must have had a reason for using such an expensive metal, and I can’t think of any reason other than preserving the charge.

In the Allomancer Jak short story,

Do we know for sure that Cognitive Shadows are influenced by the Intent of the Shard that made them? Or have we just started assuming that for some reason? The Heralds’ various flavours of insanity don’t seem to have anything to do with the Intent of Honor, as far as I can see. And not all of the Fused have intense hatred issues.

Same here, @Moonsilver. I didn't receive the email. I suggest resending it to the group. Looking forward to reading it

Hi! Sorry I'm later than usual for this one, I was doing other stuff. As I read: p1 - Wow six hours for character creation AND and the first play session? They're really speedrunning D&D huh? p1 - Is N wearing a T-shirt with a Twilight reference? Does he even know what Twilight is? p1 - Wait, it's a girls' shirt, which I guess means it's not a Twilight reference. It might be worth keeping in mind that, in a paranormal romance, any reference to boys and sparkling is going to look like a Twilight reference. Maybe you could mention that it's a girls' shirt when you first describe it? p2 - A second weird iron comment from N. Last time this came up it felt believable that W glossed over it as just N being N, but having it come up a second time makes it stick out more, and I'm starting to think that W should have more questions. p4 - Nitpicky style note: D&D italicises its spell names and doesn't capitalise them (in the Player's Handbook, at least) so you might want to change it to 'eldritch blast'. p5 - The paragraph starting 'we also pick out fantasy races and names' feels like a boring bit. p8 - It feels like the chapter cuts off rather abruptly. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to take away from this, or how the situation has changed since before the D&D date. W is sad that she's not as personable as N, but is that actually important? Or is it just more of her general insecurity? 1. Generally, I liked this chapter. I enjoyed the bits that were exploring the characters through how they responded to and played the D&D game, since that was fun. Even though I don't think we learned any new information, it felt like the characters were bonding and it was good to see W and N actually hanging out, and also seeing W's frustration at her own walls keeping N out. Keep in mind that I'm fairly experienced with D&D, so I don't know how this reads to someone who isn't familiar with the game. 2. Not sure I have anything specific to say about the characters here. We don't really learn anything new, and everyone feel in-character. 3. I think that the chapter is justified in existing. This is the first time (that I recall?) that W and N have just hung out together doing fun stuff, not having drama or a heart-to-heart. It's important to have that, so that it feels like there's an actual relationship there. Having said that, I think the ending of the chapter leaves it on a weird note. If we're supposed to take away an important point about W's issues, then it needs to be clearer. If it's supposed to be just a fun chapter of characters hanging out, I think it shouldn't end on such a downer. 4. Disclaimer: I don't have any personal experience with ADHD, so I can't speak to that. W's psychology makes sense to me. I feel like I can understand why she is the way she is the way you're writing her already, and I like what you're doing with her. I know you've had comments saying that they find W annoying/unrelatable, but I think that's the trade-off you get with a POV character with a strong and unique voice. Some people just aren't going to connect. I don't see how explicitly giving her an ADHD diagnosis is going to change that.

Hi everyone, Thank you for the feedback on the previous chapter. I’m taking lots of good notes on the things I need to consolidate in the early to middle chapters in order to make this story really come together. Chapter 21 this week. Questions: 1) Any boring or confusing bits? 2) Do the characters’ thoughts and actions make sense?

I think the ‘we’ is probably some organisation of worldhoppers. If it were Hatham or the ardentia, they would have better ways to cosy up to Dalinar than to throw him a political tidbit he won’t appreciate the value of. They know he’s not got a head for politics, and his dislike of it is pretty clear. If it were the Dysian Aimians - well, why would a worldhopper posing as an Alethi ardent be speaking for the Dustin Aimians? By process of elimination, I think it’s got to be a worldhopper organisation. And I do wonder where they’ve been, and why they haven’t contacted Dalinar since. I don’t think the case for Godeke being a worldhopper is strong. His backstory, behaviour and language all line up with him being what he appears to be. Also, his opinions about Vorinism are a cool insight into the impact the Radiants have had on Alethi culture, so it would be a shame if it turned out that it was just a worldhopper faking it. I think you have a strong case for Tukks being a worldhopper. Not sure if he’s the same worldhopper as the short ardent (at a glance, the timeline would work, I think?), but something is going on with Tukks.

I really doubt we’re going to see much of Thaidakar in Stormlight 5. He might be namedropped, and confirmed to be a Cognitive Shadow from a different planet, but other than that? I can’t see it happening. First off, there are too many other plot threads that need to be addressed and wrapped up in Stormlight 5, and Thaidakar is tangential to all of those. The pacing would feel really off if we suddenly took a break from the Odium threat to find out more about a guy who isn’t an immediate problem. Secondly, Thaidakar’s motives, plans and so on really need to be Mistborn reveals. That’s where the buildup has happened.

I would like a spot too, please

Hi everyone, Chapter 20 this week. Thanks for your feedback so far, it’s appreciated and being taken on board. 1) Any boring or confusing bits? 2) Do the characters’ thoughts and actions make sense? 3) Some of you have commented previously that you were finding it hard to get a handle on V’s character – does this land for you? Do you have any suggestions on how V has been presented before now in the light of these developments?

I’m not sure how this would work. Helaran’s Blade was bonded to Amaram from shortly before WoK through the end of OB, at which point it belongs to Rock. I’m not sure what he did with it, but if it had ended up in Shallan’s possession by the end of RoW, I that would have been remarked on.

I'll have a spot for Monday too, please.

I think Wit’s antics in that scene were an elaborate insult/joke. His point was that the other guy’s company was comparable to getting hit on the head with a rock (ie, really bad). He’s doing it to entertain himself, not because he’s actually trying to achieve something. We don’t know very much about Wit’s apparent inability to physically harm people. Either hitting himself on the head with a rock doesn’t count, or it involved more theatrics than actual hitting.

Hi everyone, Thank you for all of your feedback. Lots of good points were made, especially about the logistics of the escape plan, which hopefully I can iron out. Chapters 18 and 19 this week. 1) Any boring or confusing bits? 2) Do the character’s thoughts and actions make sense?

I would also like a spot for Monday, please

Hi everyone, I’m back from break! Thank you for all your feedback so far. I’m making some trims to the laggy bits. Many of you commented on the V’s mysteriousness, and yes there is something going on there, so I’m keeping an eye on that thread while it plays out, and I’ll have questions about how that might be changed once you see more of it. Chapter 17 this week. Usual questions: 1) Any boring or confusing bits? (And anything that feels like repeated information?) 2) Do the characters’ thoughts and actions make sense? 3) What do you make of C’s plan? Does it sound like a terrible idea, or are you on board for her to try it?

Same I don’t think this would work as a twist/reveal for narrative reasons. Aesudan and Elhokar are both dead. Navani has moved on. Even supposing Gavilar turns out to be not dead, there aren’t enough characters left who would care that much. A surprise affair wouldn’t add much to the story at this point IMO. I think Aesudan must have had connections to some shady people - maybe the Sons of Honor or a similar group - which would handily explain why she’s been let in on some secrets, and also why Jasnah’s shadiness radar was being set off.

I’ll have a slot for Monday too, please

If someone is hoarding Blades on a large scale, and they are not hoarding Plate to the same extent, then the numbers make sense.

Spren whose Radiants had not yet reached the Third Ideal are presumably deadeyes who don’t have a corresponding Shardblade form in the Physical Realm. As for the discrepancy between the number of Blades and Plate that were left by the Recreance, and the number that are available in the present time - this has been remarked on quite a few times. I’ve seen a lot of speculation in the fandom that someone must have gone to considerable effort to hoard them.

We have plenty of examples of people speaking Ideals even though they were not told the wording or even the general concept. (Sorry for the long post) TWoK, chapter 26 - Life before death just pops into Dalinar’s head while he’s being philosophical. TWoK chapter 67 and WoR, chapter 84 - Teft told Kaladin the words of the First Ideal, but he knew what to say for the second and third without being told. Edgedancer prologue and chapter 19 - Lift doesn’t really think about it or explain what she’s doing, but she intuits her second and third Ideals, complete with wording that doesn’t sound like her usual speech. From comments Gavilar makes, he seems to have thought that finding/knowing the right words is the sticking point. But based on other characters’ experiences I think he missed the point. When we see Radiants speak the Ideals, they are making a personal commitment to do what they understand to be the right thing, and the words just come.

I think the ‘ancient spren’ that Gavilar found is the Stormfather, which is why Aesudan goes on to talk about how Gavilar could never figure out how to bond the spren. I can’t think of another spren that fits the bill. Which is fascinating, because it implies that Gavilar confided in Aesudan rather than any of the other people he had around him. He didn’t mention the Stormfather to Jasnah, Navani, Dalinar or Elhokar. So what was special about Aesudan? Does it have something to do with why Jasnah was concerned about her (to the point of considering assassination)? I think a lot of Gavilar’s strange behaviour is a result of his efforts to bond the Stormfather. Given his emphasis on ‘words’, I think he had a vague idea that the First Ideal was the key, and he was searching for it (hence the fascination with The Way of Kings, the Listeners’ songs, and other ancient texts), but he never found the exact wording. I think he also knew that how a person conducts themselves has a lot to do with bonding spren - hence the fascination with the Codes and his interest in diplomacy over violence. The aspect of his personality shift that doesn’t seem like a result of his knowledge is his increasing cruelty toward Navani. The best explanation I can think of is that he was always a bully who pushed around people he saw as beneath him, and towards the end, he began to think of himself as being above Navani. So it’s not really a change in who he is, just a consequence of Gavilar’s inflated self-importance and feeling of grandeur. I agree that Gavilar’s Stormfather visions predate the encounter with the Listeners, but I would push it further back than that. If Gavilar’s interest in diplomacy and politics was caused by these visions, then the onset of the visions should be shortly before this change in behaviour was noticed. So, my guess: Gavilar started to get the visions in (or shortly before) 1150, when his leadership style changed and he started to talk about Radiants, words, history, and the importance of unity. Yes, I know that this theory leaves an enormous amount of time in which Gavilar is trying and failing to bond the Stormfather, and there needs to be a reason for that. We know from our main characters’ experiences that, if the right spren is taking an interest, then trying to live up to the Ideals will make the Words pop into the prospective Radiant’s head. This did not seem to happen with Gavilar. I think the reason Gavilar never became Radiant was because he just wasn’t cut out for it. The Stormfather took an interest because Gavilar was unifying Alethkar, but ultimately, Gavilar wasn’t Bondsmith material. He was always more interested in his own glory and legacy, not unity or good leadership.

As I read: p1 - I'm getting a good sense of the lies W is telling herself, which is good p2 - W seems to have very high expectations for what would be expected in a romantic relationship between a couple of high schoolers. I think this is part of her tendency to accidentally create drama out of everything, but she knows that not all relationships are really really intense, right? You can just casually date someone? p3 - 'Factors wouldn't understand.' - Missing word? p3 - I was just thinking that it was unlike N to be pursuing W while she's giving him this many mixed signals, but it looks like Plot has happened offscreen, and this is driving his behaviour? p5 - It sounds like N is just trying to be her friend rather than her boyfriend. Which is probably a good idea for these characters right now, but I'm not sure why N doesn't just use the word 'friend'. p6 - Dungeons and Dragons?? This ought to be good! I liked what I think this chapter was going for, but some of it gets bogged down with more wallowing than is needed to make the point. Some of the emotional beats would have hit harder, I think, if some of the repetitious back-and-forth were trimmed. The conversation between W and N especially has this problem - I like that they're making an actual decision on what to do with the situation, and I like the hint that there's something bigger going on with N that we don't know about, and I like W's emotional train wreck, but it feels like there is fluff in there that could come out.