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Everything posted by Spren of Kindness
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Kindness does a writing rant, vol. 2 yes, I've done one of these before, I didn't call it that.
Inserted in a spoiler box because I'm like that.
SpoilerSo. There's this thing that happens when I write where very often, my characters share very little with myself. So I'm female, my protagonist is male. I'm white, two of my protagonists are not. I am mostly well physically, half my characters have some form of physical injury that affects their day-to-day life. Stuff like that. And because of this, I usually should probably do some research about the things that I don't know a lot about. But I don't, because my first drafts are 'dumb drafts' that I'm basically just trying to get done as fast as possible.
What ends up happening is that either I start worrying about what people are going to think about the things that I just set down on the page to revise later, that it's ignorant or offensive and people will be mad at me, and I don't finish the draft. Or, I lose steam and stop for a while, and when I come back later, I have to go back and look at what I've written, start worrying that I haven't written something right and people will be mad about it. And then I don't finish the draft.
So what is the solution, I ask myself? Finish the draft, go back, and do research to fix anything I messed up on. Or all of it. Maybe by not researching knee injuries well enough I've ruined my entire plot. But I haven't finished a draft of anything, save one thing, in two years. So I have all these unfinished drafts sitting around, that I'm scared to keep working on, that I'll probably never finish, because I don't think I'm qualified to do so. Or something. I'm not here to analyze my thought processes.
Anyway, this is a really irritating thing that has hampered me repeatedly while I'm writing and I'm very annoyed by it and the way its making me walk on glass and eggshells in my own, private, will-not-be-seen-so-why-am-I-worrying, writing. I should be able to just write, and I can't because I start thinking about thing x and how if I don't do it exactly right, I'll either make a bunch of people really mad by accident, or I'll never be able to get anything published for making one mistake in the adjectives I used.
Peace out.
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That sucks Spren
I very much know the feeling and similar feelings - you can do this! If you love writing then don't let fear stop you. If you love anything don't let fear stop you! You are capable, and whatever you are writing, if you are writing in love, will be acceptable and won't be offensive - you can do this!
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Ah yes. The feeling when you realize that school is greatly exacerbating your possibly preexisting mental health issues, but you don't realize that and therefore don't tell your parents until the school year is almost over.
On a side note, I think that it's hilarious that I went from 'oh, this is teenage angst and something I can deal with' at the beginning of May, which is Mental Health Awareness Month, to 'oh heck, that's not supposed to be normal and I might not be able to deal with that on my own' by the end of the month.
The awareness was done with all the grace and precision of painting the underside of a 2x4.
