Going_North_cal

Alright fine.

I’ll write a fourth. The Shard was right.

I’m too in love.

Damn.

But this is ACTUALLY the last one. I’m serious this time.

When I dropped you off at your house after prom, you started talking.

You spoke of me. You spoke of what you see in me.

I wanted to respond. I had the feelings to respond.

But you rendered me at a loss for words. I did speak, but what I said felt like only half of what I could have said.

You praise my writing skills, but you rarely mention your own writing and wordsmithing skills.

Truly, Luna, no one has rendered me as speechless as you did that night. All I could do was look at you, as your face was so close to mine, and fall hopelessly in love with you and your words and your beauty all over again.

What you said of me, I sometimes fail to see in myself. I think not as much about myself as I should: I’m always very focused on making sure others are safe, happy, and loved.

And I try very hard to do this with everyone. The only issue is, I get so engrossed in helping others, I forget to help myself.

I get lost in my empathy, sympathy, anxiety, sadness, and I wallow in it. I wish so desperately for release, for someone to reach out and provide their hand.

Of course, for that to happen, I have to shout for help first.

That’s the hard part.

I don’t want to be a burden. I never want to be a burden to anyone.

I saw something once, and it said,

“A burden is something that you’re forced to carry against your will. I freely choose to be a part of your life, and that means you aren’t a burden.”

If ever you feel you can’t say something, for fear of being a burden, or for fear that I’ll abandon you, or for fear of whatever,

Come to me anyways. Trust in what this letter says, that no matter what you do, I will still love you. I will love you more, because you trusted me enough to talk to me about it.

You were there for me, went through so much for me and with me.

Please let me return the favor. It doesn’t have to be now; I just want you to know.

I love you more than anything in this world. No matter how sad I feel, you always somehow manage to cheer me up. A phone call, a simple hug, whatever it is, you help me, and I am grateful that you do.

Please remember the promise I’ve made to you.

I intend to keep it.

I intend to see it through.

We aren’t getting any younger: the pain of yesterday is just that.

The pain of yesterday. Tomorrow will be brighter.

A wise person once said,

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called present.”

You are the light of my life.

You are today's gift. Tomorrow's mystery is something I’ll unravel with you, as we seek to move on from yesterday's history.

Goodnight, my love. Goodnight and good morning and good afternoon, because every second of those times I spend with you is good.