AonEne

HEY, that wasn’t meant to be all caps but sometimes if I type something fast the keyboard takes a second to catch up and does it while still in caps mode, do you guys know what I mean? Does that happen to you too? 

Anyway  Sorry for my absence, our house doesn’t have Internet atm and for a couple days my mom and I went to my grandparents’ house to get homework done, but then the focus was on homework, so I had blips of Internet some days but no time to really write with it.

Also my mental health appears to be getting exponentially worse, like those graphs where it’s just flat and then starts getting higher and then gets much higher much quicker and then just ZOOMS up...that’s me right now, wheeeeeeee. 

I’ve been trying to figure out how to do this for a long time now, but I’m bad at it haha, so maybe just bluntly throwing it out there before I let myself get distracted by catching up on what I missed is the key. 

I need to take a break from the Shard, most specifically RPing. Or, less of a break and more of a sitting-back, I guess. I’m not leaving, I’ll be here for conversations and stuff, and please still feel free to come to me for a n y t h i n g because I will never be unwilling to help, but I need to give myself more distance because I am Not Okay right now. I need to reevaluate several things and figure out some stuff that matters to me, and frankly I’m a bit burned out. Actually, I’ve been burned out in varying degrees for months, now I’m past burned out and into burned down, or something. 

What this means for the things I’m involved in: 

Alleyverse = biggest change. I was so excited to write a different version of Deteca, I could not wait to get in the new her’s head, and despite the fact that I’m still very interested in her, I just...can’t write her. I am going to try to do the interaction with @18th Shard and @Sorana, because I’ve planned that with them and don’t want to disrupt their plans, but after that I don’t know how involved with those characters I can promise to be. (Same with any potential Deteca-Zokora interactions.) 

If @bees? is still breaking out of that van (I haven’t read AMD yet so he might’ve already), I can lend some help with Myriad, maybe. If you don’t need it, I’d probably just hold you up. 

I’m still here for TUBA if anything happens. Luckily most guild conflicts are heavily foreshadowed and also heavily IC these days, so there shouldn’t be any shenanigans where I’m instantly needed. I trust y’all to be cool if I’m not around for a day or two. (No succession wars, you hear? If I come back to a succession war at some point I’ll be very annoyed.) 

TKND = I will try to keep an OOC presence, keep up the moderation/updating the OP/polls stuff and any discussions of where we’re going next, but Cassie posts will be along the lines of “she followed the group, she did such and such” rather than anything deep. Not that her posts are very in-depth anyway over half the time, but. Yeah. 

KotC = who knows if they’re reading this, I think Tesh reads my status updates but does anyone else? Likely not, so I’ll copy this to their chat PM. I’m gonna have to hand off the slave trade to someone else. Raise your hand if you’re up for taking it on (the responsibility, not literally taking on the slave trade :P). I may be able to handle some of it later, and by the time we get to any epic showdowns I’d like to do some talking from Natoriana and/or Jalis. I’d also prefer if they were left mostly out of things for now so their characterization isn’t compromised; I’ll write them out or something. 

Clearcut I can continue as usual, I think. She’s not difficult, just dialogue and a pretty simple character arc, and I’m eager to see her wielded at some point. 

V1 = I really am working on a post to bring that back. I’m dearly sorry that it’s been dead so long, there’s no excuse, but I’m going to fix it. I hope. That will be delayed, but eventually it will happen. 

Sharder Kahoot Club = I might be able to make some progress on this front but who knows, really? 

Forum games = I’ll probably be around but can’t say how much 

That cosmere Monopoly board I wanted to make = still wanna make it, but it’s a *shrug* for now 

And I want to write more fanfiction in the future besides RP, there’s at least one series I want to do and I always have oneshots in my head because who doesn’t, but that’s after that reevaluation I mentioned. 

Love you all. Sorry to be so abrupt. *hugs*