Gancho Libre

Ioc whistled. Well, that was one good thing it had done today. Yay! Time for balance. Ioc dissipated, and reappeared in the middle of the group that had killed that Chaos person. "Hey-o," Ioc said, then rammed a fist into one of their(it can be any of you)'s face.

Ioc'a eyes widened. "Don't you realize that's a new shirt?" it yelled. Then, it sensed a huge amount of power inside the person who had ruined it's clothes. "Ya want me to fix that?" It asked. Ioc grabbed her, and if they teleported again, Ioc went with her, then burned Chromium on her, dissolving the power. If they didn't teleport, Ioc took her power right then and there. "There we go," Ioc said. "Now, to healing,"

Ioc ran. And ran. And ran. Darn, it wasn't even moving forward. The opposite, in fact. Ioc looked up, and was hit in the face by a burst of wind, and it was thrown back. Ioc growled. It could just teleport away, but what was the fun in that... Ioc pulled out a Windstormer's Lens. Any regular occulator would be unable to match these winds with their own. Ioc was not regular occulator. The wind made it hard to move, so Ioc just stood straight and threw the Lenses upwards. The wind pushed them into it's face. It was a strange sensation; the Lenses were small, but Ioc's eyed discoverer it's entire skull. Ioc moved it's focus to see through the tiny glasses, then pushed wind through them. It stabilized itself with Investiture, then added power to the Lens with a different power, a power unique to Ioc itself. And the winds ceased. Ioc paused, then strode forward through the air that should be pushing it but was being negated by Ioc's own wind. It's arms glowed beige once more, and they extended, the stretch of arm from the elbows down growing until it's stumpy wrists reached it's knees. Ioc drew back it's arm. And made a punching motion. And the arm grew the distance necessary to strike the enemy in the face. Assuming, of course, the enemy didn't retaliate.

In fact, it was this song that usually was the cause of the death.

Ioc strolled around until it found the scene of the battle. It whistled. "Wow, you guys really didn't need a bomb to ruin this place," it said. "Do yall need help healing? I'm fine to make an exception to my policy to not help people," It smiled, then burst alight with stormlight. "Direct people who need it to me. Unless, of course, I don't actually know what's going on and nobody needs any help. i'm fine with that,"

She had lots o' kills.

In an isolated room in the Waystop.... A little speck of dust floated through the air..... Suddenly expanding in size, forming into a moderately sized spaceship whose sudden mass burst the wall of the room outward, also smashing any attackers if anyone was attacking nearby. The hatchway opened. "What did I miss?" Ioc asked.

Ioc let everything hit it. The sand, the plasma, everything. The plasma would have crushed it if not for Ioc's power. Even so, Ioc was impressed. It healed. If it had a mouth, it would smile. Ioc was powerful. This was amazing! For the first time in years, Ioc could become itself. Ioc moved at a blur. If the enemy didn't dodge, it would punch him with it's flat-ended arms, This would, surely, at least tickle the creature. Or, at least, knock him back.

"Dangit!" one of the monkeyes cried. "I loved these arms! Now they're gonna get scraped!"

Ioc stood on it's head.

"Ya know," Ioc said, "I appreciate the offer, and I hope to be able to call upon it later if I start to die and stuff, but for now, ya know, i'm kinda angry that you took me away from that Waystop place. I'm sure you're a great guy and all, but I think I'll settle with the long and tedious match for now," The decision made, Ioc took a step forward. Then burst alight with beige fire. The color coated it's arms first, then spread upwards and downwards. As the beige crept up it's face, the skull bent into a flat shape, the eyed spreading over both halves of it's head like spilled honey. The finger's on it's hands melded into it's wrist, creating a hard, flat surface where the knuckles should be. The feet grew inward, melding into it's shin, and the ankle triangulated to put more surface area on the ground. It became the closest it could get to it's true form. It's skin was beige, as was the perpetual mist that flowed out of it's pores. It's forearms blurred into an undecipherable yet solid shape, obscured by the mist that flowed from it. Ioc was ready.

Ioc watched the ridiculously large hunk of earth fly up into the sky. Three seconds later, the crater that had once gaped in the ground was promptly closed up by grassy fields. “It’s not working!” Ioc yelled over its shoulder. “Keep going!” yelled Gerrri. “I think it is!” “Stop lying to me!” Ioc yelled. There was a pause. Ioc sighed. It knelt on the grassy ground, down on one knee, and pressed a hand to the surface. Stormlight flowed from it’s hand, into the grass. The world reset, but it couldn't reset investiture; Ioc and Gerrri’s tested had confirmed that. The ground trembled, and Ioc was launched into the sky on the flying chunk of dirt. A second later, the chunk was replaced in the ground and Ioc no longer knelt on a piece of earth detached from the rest. Ioc screamed in frustration, the sound echoing off unseen objects around it. The magic couldn’t reset sound either, as long as the sound was loud enough. Ioc slumped. “Anything?” “No,” was Gerrri’s immediate reply. The plan had been simple and convincing, built on the fact that no magic was everlasting. Each time the world was reset, it would take a small portion of the magic to fix anything that happened. The plan was to have Ioc mess up the world so much that when it was fixed, the magic wouldn't be in enough bulk to keep the IID down. So far, Ioc hadn’t made a dent in the magic, which was recorded by the IID’s lack of success. “Try something else,” Gerri called. The hologram was starting to annoy Ioc, but Ioc kept that feeling down until later. Ioc would need Gerrri, once the magic was gone, to keep the ship from disappearing without Ioc on board. However, Ioc snarled. “Fine,” It said. A distance worry on the back of it’s head reminded it not to get too powerful. Ioc ignored this. Once it acted too OP, the oaths it had taken would stop it. No conscious thought necessary. Ioc pulled out a Shamfiller’s Lens, fitting it over it’s head. Then, it focused on the entire planet. A voice sounded in it’s mind. ‘I’m such a bad planet, I can’t do anything right. Everything that happens to me is fixed by something even better than me… I could just… explode…” And it did. The entire planet exploded. Ioc was ripped apart, metalminds and investiture torn away, and Ioc died. Seconds later, Ioc found itself kneeling on the ground, it’s bag at it’a side, the Shamefiller’s Lens on it’s face. ‘I hate this,’ said Subconscious. ‘GLUB GLUB GLUB!!!’ yelled Amygdala. “Anything there?” asked Ioc. “A little, tiny divot,” answered Gerrri. “Of unrelevant proportions,” Well, it was better than nothing. “I-” Ioc began, then was interrupted, quite rudely, by the event of multiple zombie-like forms dragging themselves from the grassy surface. Ioc fell silent, watching them crawl completely free, and grass closing up behind them. The started staggering towards it. “Uh, hi?” Ioc said nervously. “What is it?” Gerrri called. “Who are you taking too?” Several zombies turned towards the voice and stalked towards it. Ioc didn't stop them. They couldn’t eat Gerrri. Gerrri was a hologram. However, Ioc could be eaten by the hundreds of zombies surrounding it. “Darn!” Ioc yelled into the air. “Ya know, magic stuff, I’m sorry about what I said to you. I really appreciate that you reset things. How about doing me a favor?” The closest zombie, about two feet away- no, it was farther than that. Something was wrong with its brain that made it miscalculate times and distances- started to laugh. “The magic sent us!” the zombie roared, “We were sent to destroy you!” Ioc frowned. “But, i could totally wreck all of you,” Without a rod, the zombies all jumped towards it, and no matter how far they were from it, the farthest being very far away, they all landed on top of Ioc. At least, where he had been before it Lashed itself upwards Everything reset. Ioc found itself underneath the pile of zombies. They bite it, ate it. Ioc healed. But this didn't matter. The world reset it’s healings. The magic was against it. The magic would reset the movements of Ioc, but not of the zombies. The world allowed the zombies to attack ioc without healing Ioc via resetting afterwards. The world was angry with Ioc. So, now Ioc could get angry with the world. One zombie scratched through Ioc’s stomach, searching for it’s spine. Ioc was about to die. The world reset. Ioc tapped Mental Speed and Physical Speed. It tapped all of what it had saved up, ever. Nothing moved. Everything was still. Ioc stood, throwing back zombies like they were little macaroni noodles. It ran out of the dogpile, throwing back zombies to clear them away. It was sprinting, aware that both it’s fillings and time was running out. It jumped into the spaceship, thankful for the fact that the hatchway was already opened so Ioc and Gerrri could communicate. Ioc ran through the spaceship, verifying that, yes, the zombies inside were trying to eat Gerri, and yes, Gerrri was unharmed. Ioc would deal with the zombies inside later. For now, Ioc pulled out it’s most valuable trinket, and replaced the Shamefiller’s Lens, which had, remarkably, stayed on Ioc’s face during the attack, with a pair of Bestower’s Lens. And it gave it’s Epic ability, called Spite, to nearby zombie. Movement began again as Ioc stopped tapping Mental and Physical Speed. It still had a bit left, it was done now. The world reset, putting Ioc back into the middle of the dogpile. Ioc grabbed the nearest zombie, tapped the last of its Physical Speed, and, as the world slowed, crushed it’s head with the help of stormlight. The zombie died. And a red energy field erupted from it’s chest, obliterating it’s own body, then, as it expanded, evaporating the bodies of nearby zombies. Ioc tapped Mental Speed. The world slowed down again. The red force field was inches from Ioc’s legs. Ioc teleported into the ship in a flash of beige, right next to the controls. The teleportation worked. Ioc grabbed the controls, and hurriedly tried to make the ship go. The world reset, but Ioc remained in place, and the forcefield was expanding rapidly, destroying everything it touched, leaving the grassy fields, finally, grassless. The field was getting close to the ship, so Ioc, out of desperation, Lashed the ship away like it had so long ago. “Ioc?” asked Gerrri. “What’s happening?” The last of the zombies were obliterated by the growing red dome. It kept expanding, now growing at an alarming rate. “Turn on the IID!” Ioc yelled. “Get us out!” The world reset. Nothing changed. “There’s not enough of a break!” Gerrri yelled. “The world even turned down how much magic it was using to reset everything in order to keep us in! There is no possible way we can get out!” And they disappeared from the planet, reappearing in its orbit. Ioc exhaled, then turned towards the locked door. “Now you help?” It said, in a tired voice. “I can't believe it,” Gerrri said, breathing heavily despite being a hologram. Below them, the red energy field, gifted to the zombie Ioc had killed, was so large it was visible from space, growing still and soon enveloping the entire, grass-ridden planet. Everything on the ship was the same. The designed, the locked door, the body hanging on the middle of the largest room. Ioc was confused. Somehow, the IID had gotten them out of that planet, despite still being under enough influence of magic to not do that. Then, Ioc realized that was the sort of things Infinite Improbability Drives did. “This changed everything!” Gerrri exclaimed, eyes wild. “Planets are sentient?”

They all tripped simultaneously.

"Fun," Ioc said, slightly nervous. 'Do you think I can now?' it asked in its head. "So, uh, I can't do that, so I guess back to a long and tedious match?"

Using their unique investiture abilities, which included:

Ad Ioc matirialized. "So," it said, "What's the deal-io around here?"

Ioc appeared, and ordered a drink.

And Ioc ordered a drink.

Ioc tapped mental speed. The knife slowed in its path, then began falling back towards it. The laser bent around the enemy, back towards Ioc as well. 'Darn,' Ioc thought. Ioc stopped shooting the laser from it's eyes, but there was still a laser coming at it. Ioc was aware of a slight pulling sensation of Eubeal, but it ignored this.The knife was was picking up speed. Ioc knew that conventional methods wouldn't fight this creature. Ioc stopped tapping Mental Speed, and the laser and knife became blurs as they rushed towards it. Amberite bolted up Ioc’s arms, not fast enough to take away all of the damage from the knife or gigantic laser, but Ioc, didn't die, so, that was fun. Ioc let it’s crumbling Amberite, smoking from where the wrist-sized laser had hit, and considered an option it hadn't ever used before. Compounded Copper, one of the few metals Ioc could compound. Most Feruchemical metals gave back what you put it in, but when compounded metals gave back more than what was given. In the case of copper, this produced fake memories. Ioc compounded until it found the one it wanted, a memory which featured Ioc and Eubeal talking before the battle. In the memory, Eubeal promised that he would share his weaknesses with Ioc during the fight. Ioc took this memory and gave it to Eubeal via Bestower’s Lens. Ioc hoped this worked.

good to see ya, TFA!

Ioc was sitting on the L-shaped steel pole, gazing at nothing. The ship lay to the left and in front of it, a grassy expanse everywhere else. It was stuck. Wherever the IID had taken it, Ioc couldn’t leave. It was doomed to die. Except that Ioc couldn’t die of old age, because reasons, so Ioc was doomed to be bored forever. “I understand,” said the holographic image that had been following Ioc recently. “We need to escape. I’m willing to work with you,” The image looked like a 6’ lanky man in a business suit and briefcase. “Thanks for the offer,” said Ioc, “But go away forever, then we’ll talk about it,” “What did I do to upset you?” asked the man, who frowned. “You didn’t help me get out of here twenty astronomical time units ago!” (This was a time measurement made up by Ioc itself, meaning the length of time it took to have astronomy. Not the science, but the stars and planets and such. Basically, the time it took for the universe to be) Ioc exclaimed. The hologram cocked it’s head, then smiled. “Ah, you think I’m a trick one of your brain persona’s is playing for you. Thalamus, perhaps?” Ioc did a double take. Not at the image. If the image was indeed from thalamus (who hadn't said a word of late) then of course the image would know about Ioc’s inner brain personas. No, Ioc did a double take of the spaceship, which was beginning to glow like a fire. “What?” Ioc asked, still looking at the ship. “Ah,” said the man. “I see you’re confused as to how I know you have inner brain personas. Let me tell you-” “Shut up,” said Ioc. “Why is the ship glowing?” The man flushed. “The ship is glowing because it is ready for another overdrive,” Ioc was on its feet in an instant. “Another one? Who are you?” “I,” said the man, smoothing down his suit with one hand, “am the AI companion of the IID. Recent labs began pairing them in order to stem the flow of chaos that came from such machines,” Ioc snorted. “However, as you know,” the man continued, “this didn't work. Improbability is improbability. So, here we are, slaves to the IID. However, I do hold one power over it. I can turn overdrives on and off. Frankly, I’m bored here, so I want to get away. But something is stopping us. Some force preventing us from leaving,” Ioc began to laugh. It laughed boisterously. “You haven’t seen it yet?” Ioc asked, through loud chuckles. The man cocked his head the other way. “Seen what?” “This planet,” Ioc exclaimed, “Is magical,” There was a pause. “And?” the man asked. “Huh,” said Ioc, “I thought you’d be more surprised by that. Magic is, after all, not real,” The man sighed. “I’m pretty sure magic is real. You know the Cosmere?” “Good point,” said Ioc, blushing slightly. “Anyway, back to the story,” “Yes,” said the man, “What is going on here?” “You see,” Ioc said, throwing it’s chest forward in an attempt to appear awesome, “This planet is magicable. So magicable, you see, that the mackis and myths are so darn magickable-” “Excuse me,” said the man, “Could you use real words when you speak?” “Sure,” Ioc said, “But I’m sure what I say is unrelevant,” “Unrelevant? That one’s not real either,” the man said. “Really?” Ioc answered, “I thought that one was,” ‘Gee, thanks, Hippocampus,’ said Subconscious. ‘GOOOOOOoooooooooo…..’ said Hippocampus. “The story?” prompted the man. “Glad you could use a different word than ‘said’,” Ioc said. “Now, this place is so darn infused with magic, a different magic than the Cosmere’s investitures, mind you, that everything must be perfect. Everything resents. Everything stays the same. So, when we arrived in a blast of Improbability, and the magic of this world couldn’t stop us, it had to reset to accommodate us. And now that we’re already here in the complete power of this planet, we cannot leave,” There was a pause. “Huh,” said the man. “That makes sense. “How’d you know that?” “I’ve had a long time to think,” Ioc said proudly. “A long time to think?” the man said. “This ship, and you, have been on the surface of this planet for just over twenty-two hours,” There was a pause. “WHAT????” Ioc exclaimed, throwing up it’s hands. “But what about all the adventuring i’ve done?” “You mean when you’d wander around the ship, muttering to yourself, then start walking in one direction for about ten minutes, stop, wait for everything to reset, and start walking again?” “I was walking for years each time!” Ioc yelled. “No, you were not!” the man said. “YOU KNOW WHAT??” Ioc screamed. “I’M SICK OF REFERRING TO YOU AS ‘THE MAN’! WHAT’S YOUR NAME?” There was a pause. “You,” said the hologram, “are a very strange being. My name is Jerry,” “How’s that spelled?” Ioc asked, it’s voice now much calmer. “G-E-R-R-R-I,” said Gerrri. “I know it’s not the common spelling, but it suits my needs,” “Huh. You realize you have three ‘R’s in a row, right? That’s very uncommon,” “Yeah. The one who programmed and named me was illiterate,” “How does that work?” Ioc asked. “Not very well. Because of that, I cannot spell either,” Gerrri answered. There was a pause. “So,” Ioc ventured (It was tired of ‘saying’ things), “How do we get off this rock?” “That’s the problem,” Gerrri answered. “It is utterly impossible,” “Ah,” Ioc breathed. “Darn,” “So,” Gerri said, “If we can bypass the magic’ effects on the IID, there should be enough Improbability of us ever leaving to get us to leave. However, we need to lessen the effect that the magic had on the ship,” “So what’s the plan?” Ioc asked. “Everything is reset pretty consistently, about three seconds between each reset. That’s not enough time to do, well, anything,” There was a pause. “I got it,” Gerrri said. “But it will involve a lot of sacrifice on your part,”

But the cows didn't like looking freash

there was much dancing.

At first, Ioc had only watched as hundreds of large rocks formed from levitated grains of sand. Then Ioc gasped, realizing that this was an opponent and not an 8-year-old's magician. Storms. It had loved that magician. It thought quickly, and it's motions became a blur with Feruchemy as it reached teleported towards it's fallen bag, picked it up, withdrew a piece of chalk, and drew a straight line of the floor. A sonic boom. A gigantic crash and hundreds of rocks were forced out of their momentum by an unresisting wall. The force bent the Line of Forbiddance. 'WHAT???' thought Subconscious. However, the danger was past. Time to retaliate. Ioc had a plan. It Lashed it's bag upwards into the sky with quite a lot of stormlight; after retrieving several items, of course. One of these was an incendiary grenade, and another was the knife it had juggled at the Waystop. Ioc, moving with the speed only Feruchemy could grant, Used the surge of Adhesion to glue the incendiary grenade to the hilt of the knive, then coated the knife in stormlight, making it wind-resistance resistant, then Lashed in towards the enemy with multiple Lashings. One hand did this. The other pulled a box-like motivator out of a side pocket, with was the destination end of a wire that lead into another pair of glasses. Ioc fitted these on, then places the Firebringer's Lens over them. Then, it pulled out another, single lens. A Bestower's Lens. It used the Surge of Adhesion to glue that onto one of the Firebringer's Lenses. Then, it ripped it's arm off, which was extremely painful. But the arm would grow back with healing. So, it's attack was this: Falling faster than a bullet towards the enemy was a large knife with an incendiary grenade attached to it. The grenade would go off with enough kinetic energy against it, such as, say, hitting a body. From Ioc's head flew a gigantic, molten laser with the power of Nicrosil, the Firebringer's Lens, and a motivator that also shot lasers. This laser was also gifted the ability to shear limbs from bodies, given from Ioc's own ability. Ioc was intrigued to see where this would lead.