Gancho Libre

Ioc woke up, and stopped it’s internal filling of the metalminds it wore. Ioc yawned, then froze as a frozen splatter of brain fluid that hung immovable in the air found itself stuck in the coordinates of air surrounded by Ioc’s open mouth. Ioc didn’t move. Slowly, carefully, Ioc stretched it’s mouth open wider and scooted backwards, towards the cockpit of the ship, until it wasn’t in danger of eating the brain juice. Having a dead body hanging around was storming inconvenient. Ioc stood, sighing and yawning again. It had been stuck on the endless grassy fields for years, decades even. Ioc wouldn’t be surprised to find that generations, or most likely centuries, had passed while it was stuck on the absurd place. Ioc didn’t like when things didn’t make sense. Thus, Ioc tried to do the most sensible things all the time, to ensure that nothing confusing or strange ever happened around it. Apparently, this wasn’t working. Ioc had, of course, explored the planet, walking millions of miles in any direction, then walking back to the ship and beginning again. Ioc waited dozens of weeks before it even attempted to breath in the air. It was safe, which made Ioc more frustrated that it hadn;t thought to take the risk earlier. Ioc hated everything that was happening to it. The ship, the grassy field, the L-shaped steel bar that protruded from the ground and took the title as the only thing in the universe that rose above the grassy plain, and most especially, the body that someone had killed and just left there to die further. Well, Ioc had a philosophy; people who make messes clean them up. After thinking hard about who would be heartless enough to kill random strangers, Ioc realized it had been, of course, Ioc itself. So, Ioc had spent most of its time trying to move the frozen corpse. And, of course, nothing happened. Ioc hated it when the universe decided to do random things to it for no reason when Ioc didn’t deserve it. And then there were the blood splats. Hanging in the air were tiny drops of blood or other bodily fluid, to small that they were hard to see. And if Ioc was moving fast enough, then those little bits of matter would burrow into it, remaining in the same spatial coordinates of the interior of the spaceship. That was super annoying. But the most hated thing in the entire Multi-verse (whatever that means) was the way Ioc couldn’t turn off that darn Infinite Improbability Drive. All day long, it chugged along, making the days seem long. Well, the days were long; in fact, Ioc had yet to see a sunset of this grass-covered planet, but that didn’t matter. It was irrelevant. ‘Unrelevant...’ said Hippocampus, sounding drowsy. Yes, that was the word that Ioc had used to describe some whatnot while the IID seemed to be in overdrive. Ioc decided, then and there, that it would adapt this term ‘unrelevant’ to be used forever and for all eternity. This was, however, unrelevant. Ioc moved along the wall of the interior of the ship, careful to avoid the hanging corpse in the middle. It reached the perfectly repaired hatchway and infused it with stormlight, then Lashed it as far as possible away from here. The door shook, and the entire spaceship was pulled away, dragging across the grassy plain and sending up a shower of dirt in their wake. Ioc considered Lashing the rest of the ship in the other direction, in order to get the door open, then decided it liked to see the perfect grassy plain uprooted. Eventually, the Lashings gave out, and the ship settled at a stop. Ioc tapped pewter, as much as it had saved up during the nights of all those years, and punched the door open. The door gave way, clattering to the ground. Ioc jumped out, landing on the fallen hatchway. To it’s right was an L-shaped steel pole that perpetually followed Ioc to wherever it was, materializing whenever Ioc glanced away from that direction. Ioc stepped off the broken door, squishing the grass underfoot. Ioc decided it liked this, and Lashed itself downard hundreds of times like it had so, so long ago at the Waystop. Ioc started to fold into a 2-D image, but constant healing prevented this. When Ioc raised it’s foot, the grass looked perfectly fine. Ioc sighed, then cancelled it’s Lashings. Ioc glanced back at the ship, angry to see that not only was the hatchway fixed on the back of the spaceship and the grass the spaceship had torn free perfectly alright, but now the ship was rising away. “Hey!” Ioc yelled, it’s voice rusty. That was the first word it had spoken in years. Fortunately, however, the ship blinked out of existence in the air and reappeared on the ground where Ioc had left it. Ioc frowned, then shook its head. It was unrelevant. Ioc started walking, in a direction it didn’t think it had gone in before. However, it hadn;t been five hours when Ioc stopped and looked behind itself. The ship and followed Ioc, the exact same distance from Ioc as it had been; about fifteen quadrillion light years. ‘Has that ever happened before?’ Subconscious asked. ‘Is this old information?’ ‘Unnnnnnng,’ said Hippocampus. ‘ROOOOOOOOG,’ said Hypothalamus. ‘Those two parts of your brain seem to be the most affected by your head injury with the steel pole,’ said Association Cortex. ‘Also, Hippocampus is the only one who could answer your question,’ ‘How’s that even possible?’ asked Subconscious. ‘I banged my forehead. At the very least, it should be Prefrontal Cortex who is suffering!’ ‘FRUG!!!!’ said Association Cortex. ‘Right,’ said Subconscious. Ioc sighed again. Then it flashed beige and disappeared. And reappeared inside the ship again, everything it could see inverted. Ioc sighed again, the flashed beige again. It reappeared in the spot of field where it had first stood a few seconds ago, it’s imaging systems back on track and right side up. Ioc screamed. “THIS IS SUPA BAD!!!!”

Ioc didn't, actually, do that, but it had great daydreams.

Ioc watched as its opponent turned a hunk of glass into a storming star. What? What was Ioc facing? Then Ioc saw the star leave Eubreal's hand as if he had thrown it, and then something immesnly dense and powerful completely obliterated him. By reflex, Ioc teleported ten feet lower in the air (the star had destroyed the hunk of ground as well, so there was nothing below it but air), and this did prevent any consequences of being exposed to a little star for too long (AKA ten milliseconds), but Ioc still would have died if not for: A: the painrial, that it kept permanently against its wrist like a watch B: the goldminds, that barely sustained it, and C: the Bestower's Lens that Ioc used on Eubeal to transfer everything that was done to it downwards at Ioc's enemy. Ioc didn't have time to get its pair from the bag, which it had thrown sideways on impulse to prevent its obliteration, but It had been able to use the one Bestower's Lens it kept covering 'ts eyes as contacts. These contacts were protected by thin layers of Enforcer's Glass and other protections, so the things didn't melt into it's eyes. They did, however, take everything bothering Ioc, from an aching ankle to a fifth-degree burn, and gave it all to Eubeal.

and the Random Fandom blew up because they didn't throw the banana's very far away.

gotcha.

Ioc saw the pebble thrown (It was really fast, but so was it's mind), and the ground underneath melt, and it knew the rock was dangerous. Well, that along with the fact that this was the same pebble that had ruined Ioc’s Amberite wall. Ioc inhaled stormlight, and jumped over the pebble, wincing as it didn't jump high enough and the pebble shot through it's body. It healed as quickly as possible. Ioc then Lashed itself in place in the air before it fell back down, so it wouldn't have to touch the ground. Ioc hovered there for a second, then nodded to itself. Ioc flipped over 180 degrees so it’s head was inches from the molten glass floor, then pressed it’s hands into the ooze. Immediately, there was a burning sensation, which Ioc responded to quickly with a painrial and healing. It pushed deeper, eventually coming in contact with a warm soil. Then, Ioc used the Surge of Adhesion to glue his hand to the goop. It pushed outward with Stormlight, Adhesioning as much glass as possible, sticking a large section of earth underneath. To help, Ioc also tapped Connection in a way that, kind of, made the chosen section a part of itself. Ioc screamed, then disappeared in a flash of beige, taking a gigantic crater of the ground with it. There was several inches of molten glass, followed by inches of warm glass, followed by sandy soil. A hole more than fifty feet down was suddenly missing, taken with Ioc with the flash of beige. And Ioc reappeared a second later, the tip of the hunk of earth centimeters above the enemy’s head. The enemy could be doing anything; Ioc hadn’t looked over during his attack. But Ioc hoped this maneuver would work. Several tons of earth and glass above the enemy’s head, with the potential to fall twice as fast as Ioc infused the entire mess with a Lashing downward.

Ioc reappeared in space, tapping Cadmium for breath, and floated towards the ruined spaceship that orbited whatever planet they were on. ======= Ioc reached the spaceship, breathing softly, and started pushing itself around the exterior, looking for an opening. ‘What are we doing?’ asked Prefrontal Cortex. ‘Looking through a damaged spaceship,’ said Amygdala flatly. ‘Now playing Dunkirk’s ‘The Oil,’ said Hippocampus. The song ran through Ioc’s head, automatically looping once it finished. Ioc found a hatchway and touched it, then used the Surge of Adhesion to connect it’s hand and the door. Then, it tapped Pewter, inflating with muscle. Ioc used the Surge of Adhesion once more, to press it’s other large hand and both feet against the doorframe (hatchwayframe?). Then, Ioc pulled, and ripped off the opening. It had already been damaged sufficiently, so it wasn’t that hard, but it did use up the rest of Ioc’s Pewter. ‘You know,’ said Association Cortex, ‘We really gotta save more of that up,’ ‘I don’t like going around at half strength,’ said Subconscious. ‘Now, hush,’ The inside was already an airless, gravity-less vacuum, so Ioc just pushed itself inside, floating along in the middle of the ‘foyer’. The entire ship was mainly one room, except for one locked door that Ioc could see. Floating in the middle of the room was a man, about 5’8”, wearing breathing devices and a large helmet. Somehow, despite the lack of air, speaking in the walls of the spacecraft successfully transmitted, what Ioc inferred to be, the floating man’s mutterings through the area. “Gone… All gone…” Ioc frowned. “Excuse me?” it said before it realized that sound wouldn’t carry through the void. It did, however, and the man paused in his mutterings. “Who’s there?” he asked through the speakers. “John Johnson,” said Ioc immediately. The man jerked in the void. “John? You survived?” ‘Dangit,’ said Amygdala. “No,” Ioc said. “I’m a different John Johnson,” “Really?” the man asked. “You sound just like him…” “What is this spacecraft called” Ioc asked, for the sake of conversation. “The ‘Noble Flight’, from the planet Berzengia,” the man replied, his voice sounding stronger than the mutterings before. “Berzengia? I’ve never heard of it,” Ioc said, frowning deeper. “Do you know where we are?” “No, where are we?” the man asked. “Oh, I was asking you. I don’t actually know what planet we’re on. I think we’re either in the Alleyverse, the Cosmere, or some version of the planet Earth,” The man groaned. “Of course this ship brings me somewhere I haven’t heard of before. The Alleyverse? And that’s a planet? Why is it called a ‘verse’, then?” “You know,” Ioc said, the frown being replaced by a smile, “I don’t know. I suspect the Alleyverse is more than a planet, but I don’t actually know,” “Huh,” the man said. “Anyway, what did you mean when you said ‘of course the ship brought you here,’” Ioc asked, imitating the man’s gruff voice when quoting him. The other man fell silent. “You know, you don’t have to make fun of my voice like that. All the kids used to as well. I’m twenty five years old,” Ioc laughed. “Really? I thought you were, like, sixty!” The man sighed. “Anyway, this ship is powered by a different kind of motor than most,” “Well, I dunno about most ships. I only saw one fabrial ship, and that one blew up after ten seconds,” “Fabrial…?” “Devices powered by some god person’s breath that gemstones happen to absorb. Anyway, continue,” “Okay,” the man said, “This ship is powered by something called an Infinite Improbability Drive, and essentially, it makes the ship do and go weird places,” Ioc whistled. “You really failed at that grammar. Also, AWESOME!!!” “I don’t know why I’m explaining this to you,” the man said with a sigh. “I’m not usually very talkative. It’s probably the IID affecting me. It’s still on, the ship's just not moving right now. Weird stuff happens around them,” Everything turned into a light shade of beige. “Huh,” the man said. “I’ve never seen beige before,” “I must be affecting it,” Ioc said. “So, how would I go about getting one of these IIDs?” “Well,” the man said through the speakers, “I’d give you mine, I hate the things, but I need it to go home. Maybe you could come with? I don’t know why I’m offering this, i’m usually a very shy person,” Ioc thought. “I have a better idea,” it said, then pushed forward to the man. “What?” the man said. “What idea?” “This.” Ioc said, the put a hand on either side of the large helmet, infusing each side with stormlight, and Lashed both sides inward with the Surge of Gravitation. Then, there was a sick onomatopoeia sound and a floating mess that looked a little like an imploded head, because that’s what it was. The floating man was silent, maily because he no longer had a functioning brain. “Now,” Ioc said aloud, because it was still in ConversationMode(™) “How do I drive this?” It turned to the locked door, then pulled out a Firebringer’s Lens, and turned the door into a goop. Beyond the door was a large motor-shaped thing that looked perfectly normal…. except it was made of the same material as a cloud. Then, it turned into a mass of bubbles, still in the same general shape. Then, a swarm of stagnant butterflies. ‘Ah ha,’ said Subconscious, because Ioc was no longer in ConversationMode(™). ‘Jackpot,’ The entire spaceship proceeded to turn inside out. ‘Wow,’ said Thalamus, ‘That’s a great view,’ It was a great view, because with the ship inside out Ioc had a clear view of the planet they orbited. Suddenly, there was a foreseeable spontaneous tug on the ship, sending it unpredictably on it’s strange path towards the planet, yanked inward by a gravitational pull that should have been unrelevant this far out. Each star brightened then dimmed, each one resolving into a smiley face. The inside-out ship did a loop-de-doop while following it’s counter-orbital inward round towards the planet. ‘Wow,’ said Steve, ‘Wesa gonna die, huh?’ All of the partyoners whent craz-craz with ishkadiddlyotenbotenbobaditendatewatentateninnish laughter. An incendiary grenade from Ioc’s purse went off, blowing a hole in spacetime itself due to a coincidentally-placed frayed segment of reality, creating a cross between a black hole and a wormhole, a phenomena that pulls things into itself only to find that that thing was pulled into another galaxy, universe, or dimension. Somehow, however, this danger had no effect on the ship, though it did start pulling some of the smiley faces closer it. Then it was gone, replaced by a politician who looked as though they had been smashed by a potato. This politician tried to cry out, but couldn’t, since this was space and nobody can do that. The planet Ioc was hurtling towards suddenly looked a lot less curvey, then it started to curve the opposite way, towards them instead of away from them. It a second, the slow-moving process jumped, like a snipped out part of a film, and suddenly the inside-out ship was surrounded by the surface of the planet. Ioc thought it could see the Waystop down below. Then, from the surface, the mouth of a huge Ghanderflaffle emerges and the ship flew staigh into it’s maw. The last words Ioc heard were ‘Cookie…… Join the DA…..’ then a different voice saying ‘Cookie….. Join TUBA…….’ and Ioc wondered why they both sounded so dfferent than each other if they both just sold cookies. And everything faded to black. Except for the image of a giant singing Millipede named Cooper, though why it was knamed this or how Ioc knew its kname knobody knew. It was colored beige, with little swirlies imprinted on it’s fish-like scales. Ioc then knew that it had to get out of there, so Ioc flashed beige. The only thing that happened, however, was that suddenly it’s view was inverted. Ioc’s gravity was the same, but however Ioc positioned it’s head, the oncoming light twisted 180 degrees. The ship flew through the upside-down millipede's belly botton, which Ioc found very educational, as it didn’t know milipede’s had belly buttons, and Ioc screamed because an impulse told it tooooo. Then Ioc saw itself from a bird’s eyes view, though inverted. Then, Ioc saw a bird from a worm’s eyes view, through inverted, then Ioc saw an invertation through the eyes of a worm being eaten by a bird, then everything backwards. Then Ioc woke up. It groaned, hitting it’s head on a random steel pole, making a sharp ‘clang’ noise. Ioc then realised something was blocking it’s throat. Ioc coughed it up, then jumped backwards as the ship, which had been lying in miniform in Ioc’s mouth, expanded in size until it was resting on the grassy floor, all polished and pristine. The effect of being close to something as it quickly enlarges in size is that it hits you in the face, though it didn’t hit Ioc because Ioc was to busy trying to quell the voices in it’s head. They had yet to recover, so they were laughing and rolling around on a tilting floor not unlike the grassy one that Ioc was on. Ioc then realized that it should ask why it was on a grassy floor, and why a steel pole whaas positioned above its head when it woke up, then Ioc realized that it should shut up and examine the ship. It seemed to be in good condition, as in, it was all shiny, so Ioc climbed inside. Io had expected the man it had killed to be alive now, because that would be incredibly improbable, but the man still floated in the air with a squished head. Ioc realized that it’s thinking that that should happen meant the possibility that it could happpen was tooo low. Ioc realized that it’s thinking that that should happen meant the possibility that it could happpen was tooo low. Ioc realized that it’s thinking that that should happen meant the possibility that it could happpen was tooo low. Ioc also realized that, although gravity had re-established itself with everything else on the ship, including Ioc and the ship itself, as well as everything in sight (the steel pole outside the ship was supported by the ground as it bent downwards), the dead man still floated in the middle of the ship. That would make it hard to clean out. Upon further inspection, Ioc realized that not only was the dead man floating in the middle of the ship, he was stuck there, imprinted in the exact coordinates of space inside the ship, to remain there forever. That would make it even harder to clean up. Well, Ioc had work to do, so it set to work, though it was sometimes annoying to be blocked from moving by a tiny splat of blood hanging in the air. Ioc eventually located the locked door, opened it (the door was locked, but it hung open slightly) and walked in, seeing the motor in it’s ‘off’ state and metallic. Ioc sighed in relief. Ioc walked towards the cockpit, locked the controls over, grabbed a steering wheel, and yanked upwards. Nothing happened. ‘Well,’ Subconscious said, ‘We’ll have to figure this out more before we get out of here,’ ‘It’s alright, man!’ said Rudolf Ivanovich in a fake french accent, ‘Have a drink and drink drink drink your worries away!' ‘You’re not drunk,’ said Subconscious, frowning. ‘Nope, but I’ma bout to be!’ Rudolf cried. ‘Hear hear!!!’ Ioc decided it needed some sleep. But it was kind of hard to sleep while Dunkirk's 'The Oil' was running in it's head.

And thus, explosion.

Ioc got the Verdant on the opposite arm as its Amberite.

Ioc appeared in the grove. Before it was a thriving mass of vines. One Aether per soul. Ioc had two.

so this thread is for more detail about the war?

The potato smashed something important on the way down.

A gigantic poatao rolled down a hill.

Ioc crashed into it. "What in the world?" it said as the Amberite wall folded in on itself. This being had different powers than the Cosmere provided. "Ya know what?" Ioc asked. "Ima break a few rules," It pulled out a pair of Firebinger's lens, then tapped Nicrosil, sending out a beam of light as hot as the star Ioc was born too and as wide as the Lens itself.

Kelsier burst into tears, for both things that happened.

Ioc encased itself completely in Amberite, then extended the Ambertie much farther than it's body, making a small wall, then absorbed snough stormlight to make itself completely frictionless and thus ignorant of the laws of wind resistance, then Lashed itself towards its opponent multiple times, falling like a bullet.

Ioc realized nobody was talking to it, shrugged, and disappeared once more.