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Archer

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Everything posted by Archer

  1. Archer
    Okay, okay, okay! It's time for Alcatraz Smedry to kick things off! There's minor, vague "spoilers" in this, but they're all in the last paragraph. So if you haven't read Alcatraz yet (*cough, Channelknight Fadran, cough*), stop at the asterisk line: ******.
  2. Archer
    Did Alcatraz say I am a fish? Has I am a Fish's name been a clever Alcatraz reference the entire time?? You sir have decimated my character with pointy words but won my respect.
  3. Archer
    1. Good meme. Made me laugh anyway 2. Can I rent out the space in your signature to promote Alcatraz's roast? :3
  4. Archer
    Aw shucks. Thank you, lads and ladies.
  5. Archer
    Wow, that was a closer matchup than I thought it would be! Well roasted, both of you. Fun things will happen if Alcatraz faces Bastille in the final, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. Here's my roast. Mild Stormlight Archive spoilers to follow:
  6. Archer
    And had bubble wrap to pop
  7. Archer
    gET bL@ckMArkET Br****n Sa******n B00kS at http://www.illegalbooksandevilblimps.com (BOOKSELLERS HATE THEM!!) My library is great at getting new releases quickly, so I usually get them from there first.
  8. Archer
    I prefer to think that straw is some kind of a gak destroying weapon that they are bent on eliminating whenever they come across it, lest they be killed themselves by its powerful properties.
  9. Archer

    *knocks on the Dor* 

    Woops. 

    *knocks on the door*

    Trick or treat! 

    1. Tesh

      Tesh

      Screenshot_2020-10-30-19-27-13_kindlephoto-923575763.png.dc0933be1f58e7afa13274ed73e6bc6b.png

      Here you go!

      Happy Halloween!

  10. Archer
    All the Turks I know are really into weightlifting and soccer. Is that accurate? Has *ALL the franchises. NY, Texas, and California need to share some of the athleticism around. Or at least loan out your teams in the off season, I'd love to borrow the Rangers for a few weeks. Don't worry, you'd get everyone back... minusLafrenière,heisoursnow,pleaseweneedacupwinsobadly. What? Canadians in Seattle?? What a, what a coincidence. I, I wonder how they could have possibly got there haha. Wow, that's craz- we've been had, boys! Pull the spies out of there, we can take out that space needle spy tower some other time Also, Canada has snow, I'm told. Dunno where they're hiding it this year, but it's probably around here somewhere. And we all talk like Newfoundlanders, according to SNL.
  11. Archer
    Those were two really good roasts. I hope you've got it out of your systems.
  12. Archer

    Pew pew, I'm toilet papering your page because you mods ruined my Halloween costume when I tried to trick or treat. It went from a beautiful Cheshire cat in a witch hat:

    <| : )   to this abomination  <| :)

    81hbJGYnAHL._AC_SL1500_.thumb.jpg.b014987cb9873bf811e56c17536a4279.jpg

    1. AonEne

      AonEne

      Wait what happened?? 

    2. AonEne

      AonEne

      Oh, the emoji changed? Lol. Sorry about that, fren :P 

  13. Archer

    TRICK OR TREAT!! My costume is the cheshire cat in a witch hat:

    <| :)

    1. Archer

      Archer

      curses, the overlords interfered with my clever emoji cat

    2. Rebecca

      Rebecca

      Oh no! It’s okay, I get what it was supposed to look like. :P

      Here you go!

      Spoiler

      3753094B-19EF-4F15-948D-5865E3B4CA89.jpeg.cfe5575e8895a6517917f3bfd63ab416.jpeg

      Some pumpkin seeds! Except not the ones I made Sunday night because those did not taste good. These ones are actually yummy. :P

       

    3. Archer

      Archer

      Yum! Thank you! 

  14. Archer
    This is much more achievable than just getting her lots and lots of swords. Thanks!
  15. Archer
    How about girls who like swords? That should narrow it down to the interesting ones. (Also, girlfriends who enjoy anime, cats, and art, but I think I've got her mostly figured out.) Profile picture. Or personal floatation pdevice, but that seems less relevant.
  16. Archer
    If Alcatraz ever returns to Earth and/or finds Bastille, he's going to claim inspiration from your wise words. But I mean, what are the odds that in this entirely unexpected situation that he might have to face his crush and recite emotional poetry? Haha...jk...unless?
  17. Archer
    Hey, easy question for you, can you explain women? Like, everything about them in a way that even a teenage Smedry could understand? Thanks, love the pfp
  18. Archer
    *As Alcatraz wiggles in the vent, a notebook and a rhyming dictionary fall out of his pocket. Embarrassed, he unwedges himself and rushes to recover them. Then he stops, and looks at Megan.* Hey, hey Megan? Come back here again? You’re pretty good at rhyming stuff, And you’re like my crush, so very tough. I know my flirting comes off poorly, And like you said, I'm not mature-y. Any advice for wooing women? I’m trying to make a special moment. I doubt I’ll see Ba- her for a while, But when I do, I want to make her smile. *Alcatraz makes puppy dog eyes at the High Epic.* Edit: and then Archer remembers to tag @Condensation, because yes, this denouement is entirely unplanned
  19. Archer
    Oo, fun. Bonus roasts. Nicely done, Condensation, here's my response:
  20. Archer
    I was going to write a Britney Spears parody called Oops! You Did It, Megan, but it didn't work out. So here's my freeform roast, which is chock full of Reckoners spoilers.
  21. Archer
  22. Archer
  23. Archer

    Reminder that during Halloweek, you can stop by ANY participating 17th Shard profile page and recieve a free virtual chocolate chocolate bar or uninspiring toothbrush. Who's participating? It's unknown! Will I forget about this post and be confused by attempts to trick or treat on my page in two weeks? Most definitely! So grab your loot bucket and get ready for some good clean chaos. Happy Halloween, everybody! 

    1. Zephrun’s Imperium

      Zephrun’s Imperium

      That is a gold idea. 

    2. Tesh

      Tesh

      This is brilliant.

      I'll do it, but there's a 95% chance I won't remember.

  24. Archer
    Nicely roasted, float! Alcatraz's already fragile ego has been dunked in boiling butter and roasted over a volcano. Also, I like that you have, officially, zero posts still.
  25. Archer
    He wore a brown fedora, but strangely, no pants.
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