I Am Witless

The Shardplate held, but barely. Storms, this is like fighting another Shardbearer! It's been a while since I had a fight like this. "You are not a God. You aren't even a god." Yzabet grunted, careful to pronounce the capital letters. It was a capital punishment to mispronounce a capital letter. She slammed Jael into Azrael's left side.

A section of Yzabet's helm shattered, and her sight went black. She stumbled, blood spraying everywhere. Regrowth healed her head in barely a second, and she continued in her attack, swinging at Azrael's left side.

Yzabet cocked her head to the side. "Embrace it? You sound like Odium." Yzabet smiled. It was a smile that had seen friends and family slaughtered. It was a smile that had been beaten into bloodied half-complacency. It was a smile that had been through hell and back, yet still found a purpose for existence. "And do you know what people like me say to Odium?" "You cannot have my pain." Yzabet attacked.

"Angry? No. But you have left me grieving. I will speak for them who have no voices." Yzabet slammed the faceplate down and slid into a stance that wasn't in any of the Alethi Codes.

Yzabet screamed, the piercing call her battle cry as Shardplate fizzed into existence around her. "I hope that you burn, monster." She snarled, hefting Jael as an ax.

Yzabet dashed forward, zipping through the ranks of the tentacle things in a fluid, unending strike. Too many are dying. I can't do this alone. The few remaining TUBAians scattered into different alleyways, running towards the edge of the city. She threw herself in front of the Chaos Marine, then sucked in Stormlight from the spheres that the dead had carried. "I am no child." Yzabet said as she burst alight.

The last of TUBA fled the building, and Yzabet followed. "TUBA Terminal clear of all personnel!" She screamed, killing a last enemy before charging up the stairs. Should I try to remember my backstory right now? Hmmm.... No, I don't think so. Too many people are, and mine doesn't need to be known. Not that I know it myself. Yzabet dismissed her armor and un-frictioned her whole body to skate through alleys.

I like spiders. I like jumping spiders. Jumping spiders sometimes wear water droplets as hats. Jumping spiders wearing water drop hats = Witless dying because it is so cute. My name, though, that is a whole other story.

Yzabet danced. Only a few blows actually hit her Shardplate, but they were minor, and hardly even cracked the exquisite armor. With or without Abrasion, she was still a goddess of motion on the battlefield, spinning, leaping, dodging, and moving as gracefully as a skyeel. I wonder where I learned how to fight like this. Do I have some sort of dramatic backstory, like everyone else? Probably, but I don't care. I'll keep those traumatic experiences locked away in the back of my mind, thank you very much. With a flick of Yzabet's wrist, Jael sliced through the spine of one of the demon knight space marine tentacle things. It screamed as it's eyes burned. With a lithe spin another fell, beheaded. The remaining TUBA technicians and workers fled up the stairs. Many had been slaughtered, but some had survived to fight Hemalurgy another day.

Yzabet, who was unaware that her RPer had been gone hiking, blinked as if waking up. There were screams. There was blood. There were people who she didn't know, and she wasn't comfortable this close to the fighting. "The entrance is only accessible to those with TUBA membership." She muttered, watching the armored, tentacled knights in gory armor attack the TUBA technicians. "But that doesn't stop those monsters. I...…….. I said that I would listen." Her eyes narrowed, and Jael appeared in her hand as a long, bright bastard sword. "I will listen! I will remember! Life before death!" She screamed, charging at the enemy. "RUTABEGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yzabet looked up. "Oh, there you are! Hi, Mace!" She breathed in some of the Stormlight from her bag, then touched his blistered forehead.

A runner handed Yzabet two aluminum-lined bags full of stormlight-infused gems. She handed one to Elkenah and kept the other herself.

Yzabet laid a wreath of black roses on the casket. "Who's speaking again?" She asked Mace.

"Yeah, but I haven't been to Roshar in a few months so I haven't experienced them firsthand. Why do you ask?"

Yzabet smiled through the tears, then hugged Elkanah, ignoring his discomfort. Though human, she knew some of the singer rhythms, and hummed Mourning, feeling her heart match its slow beat. Yzabet let go, but continued her humming, trying to speak to Mourning. "A TUBA sphere runner will be here in a few minutes. What is your plan, friend?"

Yzabet worked side-by-side with Elkanah, healing and healing and healing.... "We aren't doing anything." She said, sitting in the shadow of a broken building while waiting for a runner to bring her more Stormlight from the TUBA reserves. "The Dark Alley is hardly even on the defensive against our attacks. We aren't beaten, but we aren't winning either." Slowly, Yzabet stood up, gazing at a blood-red sun. She didn't know if it was setting or rising. She didn't care. "I remember," She said quietly. "When this was young. When we weren't even TUBA, just DA resistance. I remember the days of petty fights, laughing and teasing each other among the alleys of the intro threads. When Tesh and Stormblessed snuck us info from the Dark Alley. I watched Quickbronze's shop fall, but all of this has existed for far longer than I have known. "We were friends, then, in a roundabout sort of way. We fought over the things that really mattered, about agency and hemalurgy usage." Yzabet lowered her head and stretched out her hand. "But look how far we have come." She said bitterly. Tears began streaming down her cheeks, and her next words came out as a whisper. "Oh, you fair ones, you have fallen so far. We could solve so much together, all of us, and yet we war like children in a sandbox. Can you not see that the man that you fight is your friend? That the wars you wage here, today, are useless and lightless in the stories that the world shall tell of you?" Yzabet's voice rose, and she looked up, eyes glowing. "Is this how you wish to be known? As one who fought petty wars with those who they could befriend? Can you, in the words of the future, say that what we did here had worth, as you slaughter those who you would otherwise share a joke, a love, a passion with?" She stopped, then lowered her arm, continuing on a whisper. "How I long for the days when the Dark Alley ruled, when TUBA was unknown, and the Ghostbloods were a dream in the heart of a single lonely man. When the DA was kind in their cruelty and when the Free Form Role Play wasn't established as our modus operandi. Such freedom. Such spectacular friendship. Can we bring those days back? I think not. For with new ideals comes change, and change is growth. Growth is good. But the dreams, the friendships, the new generation cannot see. Even I have been blinded by our tribalism. We.... This cannot last. I will watch it all fall." Yzabet lowered her head as whatever internal light inside her flee, then slumped to the ground with her head in between her knees. "Tell me, friend, when the wounded come to us. We'll heal them, and then they shall go back and die, killed by those who could have been their closest friends. I will stay here and weep for this poor, tattered world." And a smoke-red sun shone over a bloody city. The only consolation was that ash did not fall from the sky.

"I agree. But, wait, poke the bear? Do you mean infuriate Voidus? Do you mean attack tHE BEING THAT PRACTICALLY MAKES UP THE ALLEYVERSE ITSELF?" She stopped herself, then gave Mace a quick hug, giving him a little stormlight to heal from anything that he might be suffering. "I have something to ask you, but maybe after the battle, assuming that we both survive."

Yzabet, who had been following behind the army healing anyone who needed it, knelt beside Mace. She avoided the pool of vomit. "Are you alright?" She asked quietly.

They all can fight and get themselves killed.The Alleycity has already evacuated, so I don't have to worry about the people who no one else cares about. Yzabet hefted a drawstring bag - woven with aluminum - full of emerald spheres. She'd take out a few at a time as she healed people, but leave the bag closed so that no one else could steal her Stormlight..

Bored by her inactivity, Yzabet broke the fourth wall and convinced her RPer to move her to the battlefield. "Heck yeah it is! I've broken the fourth wall before." "It's right there. It's not hard to break or crack. All I have to do is look right at it and wink." "So you'll take me to the battlefield?" "Just make it brutal, so brutal Dalinar and Rathalas look tame by comparison." Yzabet glanced over at Mace, then ordered a few mimes to repair the shattered fourth wall.

Yzabet poked her finger into the hole of the flute. "Anything for me?"

A coin shot right into Yzabet, but slid off of her, hardly even wobbling the Edgedancer. An ax flew past her, and Yzabet cursed loudly. Someone is willing to hurt other people to win. I'll ask Mace who she is after this is over. This is NOT cool. Yzabet jumped over the other competitors, then skidded towards Mace. "Lighten up!" She screamed, then grabbed him by the collar.

Yzabet easily balanced on her sled, veering back and forth in a threat to pass Tena. She's a coinshot as well, but I don't have any metal on me, and the sled is made of wood. What can I dooo…… Jael, her spren, formed into a boomerang, and Yzabet threw her right in front of Tena's sled, upsetting the toboggan. Yzabet passed Tena, then quickly summoned Jael back and used her as a staff to go faster. Yzabet was nearing her top speed on this downhill slope, aided by the mostly-frictionless sled and her mostly-frictionless body. Behind her, Mace was singing the Alleyverse National Anthem, the Hokey Pokey.