I Am Witless

Pallas intentionally grinned in a silly way. "I like guinea pigs." *** "I see," Yzabet said to Atticus. "Go ahead and do your thing." To Ioc, she smiled and patted him on the arm. "Now, if you will both excuse me, I have a solicitor that I need to get rid of." Yzabet went into the eating area and quickly cornered the Wizard. "I'm sorry, sir, but soliciting is not allowed on these premises."

Yzabet looked down at the dog. She'd seen stranger. "My name is Inconsequential Dragon, and all of my children are crayfish."

"Yes, those would be more than sufficient. Now, I've never been given a straight answer on this, but what's the different between the Black Crusade and the Space Marines?"

"Preferably a document signed by leaders of two guilds, including TUBA, that you are a real defense contractor. I've had problems with contractors before. That last one let dinosaurs on the property." Yzabet looked visibly disturbed by the very mention of the creatures. "They rearranged my library, left biscuit crumbs everywhere, and then wrote me a letter about how the premises was inferior to Free Kingdomer hospitality."

Yzabet, who was supposed to be working at Waystop, broke through the fourth wall, trailed by mimes. She wandered over to the food table and, ignoring the meat, took a cookie. She put it on a plate, then began poking it with a fork. You could never trust the DA.

Yzabet glanced over at Atticus. "I would appreciate proof from a viable source before I give you free lodging, but I don't mind another tenant. Waystop has plenty of protections, so your offer might not be as viable as you say it is."

"Eh, people come through. We get lots of people here. Nobody is that weird." Pallas said. He helped Damaya fill the hotcakes with the chopped vegtables, then started on the sweet filler for the next kind of hotcake. "What is your favorite animal?" *** Yzabet, to her credit, didn't laugh or hesitate. "I have some spare clothes. I don't know how much they will hold up to.... roughage." She shoved Clay's coins in her pockets.

"Back to whence you came, beast of the shadows!" Yzabet yelled, pushing the man back inside and closing the little door. Yzabet paused as Clay handed her a lot of money. And then even more. Ooookaaaaay, he obviously had no perception of monetary value. "Would you like change for this?" She asked, bewildered. *** "Yeah." Pallas said through the mouthful. "I think so. You're doing a good job." He started chopping vegetables for one of the fillings.

"Well, Mr. Amber isn't going to be staying here. However, I think that- THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE NUCLEAR BOMBS ARE CONVERGING ON THIS POINT PLEASE SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIA- but it shouldn't be too much of a problem. What room do you want to stay in?"

"Oh. Well, I guess that I can spare a room for the night, but you'll have to work to pay for it. Is there anything else that you need?"

Yzabet set aside the package, then turned to Ioc. Still walking in circles. And the last two.... "Do you need help, gentlemen?"

"I..... Thank you, Mr. Amber." Yzabet tried to think of some big words she could use to sound more businesslike. "This is a very interesting proposition. I will, of course, have to consider it, but it is a very tempting offer. You're situational awareness is commendable." Yzabet took the box of chocolates - chocolate was worth it's weight in emerald spheres Roshar - and smiled. "Feel free to examine the premises. I can provide you with a free room for the night, and maybe longer if these dealings do come to a head."

Welcome, @KeyraDK, to the 17th Shard! Have an upvote! Which Sanderson books have you read? I totally agree. I mean, humans working in packs argue and hurt each other while wolves actually get stuff done! As TenSoon (from the original Mistborn trilogy) shows, canines are better adapted for speed and serious bodily injury than humans are. I'm guessing that you like wolves more than humans?

Pallas eyed the basket, then came over. He tried to stride impressively, like the big, strong, manly person that he was, but he just looked like he was doing a bad job showing off - which he was. He took a hotcake, and bit into it. "Der goo" He mumbled around a mouthful. *** Yzabet watched Ioc walk around in circles for about a minute and a half. Welp, that one was a lost cause. She'd deal with him later. Yzabet turned and - another one? No, the new tenant. "Sorry, but it is kind of a bad time. I'll get around to you soon, I promise. Check out the library if you are bored." Next person was..... Ah, the man who wanted business dealings. And then the one on the floor, and then the one who looked like an Alethi lighteyes from the Roughs [Clay]. "How may I help you?"

"Oh, wait. Sorry, Laurelai. Dinner tonight will be hotcakes, dessert is huckleberry cobbler. Choose whichever room you want." Yzabet took a deep breath and turned to Ioc, who was next in line. "How may I help you, sir?" *** Pallas looked over at Damaya and spoke in a way that was intended to be friendly, but came out harsh. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"The longer you stay, the cheaper it gets. Five crysts a night, but that doesn't count meals. I usually bargain, but we can deal with that later. I'll come talk with you in your room when I find time Room 207-A." Yzabet handed the piece of paper to Araha, then turned to Laurelai. "How may I help you, miss?" Two more showed up. Yzabet out forth her best hostesses face, but inside was thinking AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Pallas looked back at Dayama while he waited for the other guest to order. "Where'd you come from?" *** "Just right here." Yzabet smiled, holding out a clipboard and pen. "Would you like a room as well? Investiture training is free if you rent a room, as long as you help around a bit." Yzabet eyed Laurelai, then Ioc, and finally Amber, who was still waiting. People were coming in faster than she could keep track of. She turned to the Liebrarian, feeling a bit harried. She'd never had this many people show up at one time. "Thank you, but I'm not interested in joining the Liebrarians. I think that a non-player character Liebrarian would be sufficient. I don't get much traffic here - at least, I didn't until now - but I don't like having to go through and make sure that the books are in order. Or stolen. A man with white hair came through and stole some books once, the only ones that I have on Lightweaving. I have a tracer on them, but it will still take years to get them back. Basic Liebrarian stuff. So yes, we're good." By now Yzabet was starting to feel just a little bit anxious. There wasn't supposed to be this many people!

Pallas looked up as Damaya entered, but he couldn't see her. He looked confused. "Who's there?" He glared at the space where Damaya was for a solid minute, then made his way over to Astiel. "What sorta drink do you want?" *** Yzabet halted Araha with a wave of her hand. "Can I get you to check in, ma'am? We've got different types of rooms to cater to your needs." With the other she made a 'please wait' motion to Amber.

Yzabet reached out to hug Dayama. "Not right now. I'm making hotcakes, the ten different types, but if you help me with that then I can give you thirty minutes or so of training. We can negotiate payment for more training time later. Staff or spren?"

@Chaos, are you saying that we don't have to attach pictures of spam to every single spam report that we send?

Yzabet glanced over at Precious. The spider tapped out another code. More Visitors. Yzabet sighed, then handed her frying pan over to Pallas - "Don't burn that" - and wandered down the hall. A librarian stood by the small desk by the main doors, and Damaya peaked in behind her. That poor child had gone through so much. "Hello, I come from the inspections department of the Liebrary. We're here to make sure that your library is top notch. We'd also be happy to assign someone to come work as a full time Liebrarian here if you'd like, assuming the inspection goes well. Could you direct me in that direction?" Yzabet nodded, and smiled. "I pride myself on my library. All fiction is arranged according to the Reverse Lighthouse, but nonfiction is sorted by the Dewey Decimal System. Turn left at the big intersection, second door on your left. Don't mind the spiders - they keep the books in good condition." Yzabet nodded again to the Liebrarian. then turned to Damaya ignoring the person standing behind her. "Hi, Damaya! How are you today?"

I have a whole playlist for my normal characters, but for Yzabet...... Probably "I Burn" from RWBY, the rap version.

No one opened the door. The two were cooking very loudly in the kitchen and attempting to invent new sports that could take the place of war. The current favorite was a sport where people crashed vehicles against each other until they stopped working. A tiny spider watched with careful eyes that could see both ultraviolet and normal frequencies. One of the frequencies wasn't telling the truth. The spider carefully tapped on its web, a beating pattern not unlike the songs of Roshar. The vibrations traveled though interconnected webs throughout the walls of Waystop, and were eventually received by Precious, a jumping spider the size of a Labrador. With a complex series of tapping code, Precious alerted Yzabet that a person was trying to use magic on her doorstep. It wasn't anywhere near specific, but it was enough.