I Am Witless

(From Terry Pratchett's City Watch series) Captain Carrot Ironfounderson, just to see the havoc he would reek (wreck?) across the cosmere. I mean, this super kick-butt dude who stands at six foot six, speaks most language of the languages found across his world, and who once arrested a freaking DRAGON would fit right in. Of course, he also offers suggestions that gangs turn deadly squabbles into not-so-deadly soccer games, calls everyone a "good citizen" and believes it, avoids swearing, and is as honest as the turtle moves. Would he survive very long on Roshar or Scadrial? No, probably not. But it would still be funny. Honestly, I would shove him into the cosmere for the sole purpose of seeing how all of the other characters react to to an honest, kind, homely guy who is very good at frightening trolls, vampires, and werewolves into submission.

Strafe Venture is the villain that I love to hate. Sadeas, meh, but Straff? I find him totally, utterly, and purely disgusting.

This thread is rising from the dead more often that Jasnah does! Awkward confession on my part: For some reason I always imagine the other members on this site are female. I haven't really been introduced to fanboys who like books (I know 198,528,327,309 guys who like video games, movies, the "masculine" stuff. butdon'tyoutellmewhatisforboysandgirls'causeI'mateenagegirlwhowatcheslegoninjagoandIloveit *cough*). Anyway, for some reason I'm kind of surprised that there aren't more ladies on here, or at least, ladies who replied. I know that I'm going completely off-topic on a thread discussing gender, sexual, and physical identity, but do any of you think that there is a reason for the discrepancy? If there is one?

Hey, guys! More for kicks than anything else, I have a "theory" for you. The different parts of it have been disproved half a million times, but I'm putting it out here anyway since it is kind of fun. Hoid is Alcatraz. Brandon Sanderson is Adonalsium. Brandon Sanderson was "shattered", or maybe " murdered", by his sixteen most prominent fans, and now one of his creations is trying to put him back together again so that more stories will be written. Disproven by countless WoBs and common sense, Alcatraz's world isn't cosmere, by imma ignore that. Alcatraz isn't a nice person, but neither is Hoid. They've got a similar sense of humor and snazzy/sassy style. We know almost nothing about Hoid, so who knows what we could make his back story. And Brandon Sanderson being Adonalsium? Both created the cosmere. Duh. Here it goes. Brandon Sanderson created his stories, like he usually does, some connecting, some not. Alcatraz versus the Evil Librarians is Hoid's TRUE back story, though only Brandon knows. Funny, poignant, and sad, sassy Alcatraz quickly grows into the Hoid we know, with his character arc stretching past the known books. And then, right after Sanderson finishes writing his last cosmere book, he is killed by sixteen angry fans because it IS the last book. After they steal the amazing creativity power that is held by Brandon, Shard stuff happens, cosmere, blah blah blah. Knowing that the murder of Adonalsium is unfair, Hoid/Alcatraz sets out to put him back together for one last story. The cosmere then becomes a cyclic storyline, restarting every time it ends, with the endpoint being Hoid/Alcatraz putting Adonalsium/Brandon back together. The book Brandon writes after being put back together is the story of Hoid putting everything back together. This silly theory ignores some very obvious facts, like that Alcatraz isn't cosmere, that Yolen would have to be Earth, and that someone would actually want to kill Brandon. What do you all think? Bring up some info that disproves - or better yet, DOES prove - that this is the true cosmere plotline. Have a nice day!

No opinion, except that this would be really freaking cool.

This is, of all of the discussions about cosmere movie potential, the most ignored and yet most important of ALL of them (I only jest in part). Imagine a relatively realistic style of animation, so that it doesn't get mistaken for some dinky kid-tv show, only it would appeal to both adults AND children. You have Jak running around, shooting things and doing all of the stupid things that heroes are supposed to do, with Handerwym following along behind, occasionally handing him a bag of tin, sighing loudly, correcting spelling, and wondering how in the world he can't just avoide THAT problem this is impossible NONONONONONONONONONO. You'd be free to follow some of the cheeziest plot lines, with Jak doing some of the stupidest things and STILL coming out alive, as long as you have Handerwym to make comments like the annotations in Allomancer Jak. Pure gold.

Interesting question! I honestly have no idea, though it might release some form of Investure. This post does contain some Oathbringer spoilers, though, and should go in the Oathbringer spoilerboard.

His writing style has partially influenced Sanderson (Alcatraz is basically a younger version of one of his books), but Terry Pratchett is a fun guy to read. You can get books of any reading level from him, from children's to adult's. The Diskworld (his main universe, with about forty books in it) is a world, shaped like a disk, on the back of four elephants on the back of a turtle. Magic is real. Orangutans (DON'T call him a monkey) are librarians. Dwarves make weapons from bread. Trolls deal metallic narcotics. Wizards poke at things until they explode. Witches glare at things until they don't explode. A river is so full of junk that you can walk across the surface. Gods are real, but rather stupid. Reformed vampires drink coffee instead of blood. Werewolves become police(wo)men. Complex social issues are addressed in a light-hearted matter. And, very importantly, you learn to not fear Death. He likes curry. And cats. *cough* I suggest Pratchett, not for his world-building - which can sometimes be scatterbrained, though it doesn't matter - but for his ability to take our fears and turn them upside down. He does the same thing for prejudice. And he tickles your funny bone. Some quotes, to end my lecture. "Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." "It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing." "He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armor shouting 'All the Gods are bastards.'" "The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head." "The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it." "I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it." "Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind."

I've never been able to keep bookmarks - they end up being ripped up since I play with them while I read, or I lose them- so I generally just memorize the page/chapter numbers. I've been doing it for so long that it is natural. If I forget the page/chapter number then I turn to the general area ("Oh yeah, I was about 3/5 of the way through!") and explore from there. People who are able to hang onto bookmarks for more than half of a book confuse me, and I am in awe of their powers.

I wasn't capable of reading Mistborn at age thirteen, but I handled Oathbringer in four/five days (+ schoolwork and sleep) at seventeen. It really depends on the reading level of the person. My mom doesn't like Mistborn and SA (she says too dark????), but my younger brother shot through "Guards, Guards" by Terry Pratchett, which I feel is only a little below some Sanderson books in intensity (though TP has a TON of humor to blow off the pressure). I don't know what reading level depends on, but it certainly isn't age.

IknowthatAlcatrazisn'tCosmerebut.... Headcanon that Alcatraz versus the Evil Librarians is Hoid's ACTUAL backstory, and we've already been given Dragonsteel. Earth is Yolen, and Brandon Sanderson himself is Adonalsium, and will be destroyed by sixteen of the most powerful members on this website. Hoid is trying to put the author of the universe back together so that he can make more stories.

I've taken this test ( as well as a different one) five times. I'm stuck in between an Elsecaller and a Windrunner. Windcaller?

I'd love a story about Rock meeting Hoid on the Peaks.

Hopping on the bandwagon here. I noticed earlier that there was this one person named "ookla" who was really active on the forums, but it was just all of you guys doing your thing, and me mistaking you all for each other. Good job confusing ookla the witless.

I agree. This un-resolution of conflict between characters was probably my biggest problem with Oathbringer. There was a ton to fit in, and some of it had to go. I mean, Dalinar's flashbacks, Dalinar's normal plotline, Kaladin's plotline, Shallan's plotline, the interludes, all of the other small characters who you want to see a POV from and their plotlines..... If we had had resolution to all the things that you have named, the book would be at least another 300 pages long. I won't mind that, but it's a really stinking long book, from a publishers view. Sanderson toes the line with the length he has. So, in summary, I agree with you, but resolving those would add length that the publishers wouldn't like.

It's kind of hard to separate out the individual pieces of a 100 page long battle scene.

This is awesome! The list of authors, though....

This is an awesome connection! I don't think that Mr. Sanderson purposefully created any affiliation with any Shakespeare play (apart from that one scene in Alcatraz 4), but this a great tie between the two. As a fellow Shakespeare nerd, I salute you!

Rithmatist, assorted essence marks, and kandra. With the essencemarks and being a Kandra, you become the ultimate actor.

This should probably go in the Oathbringer Board... But they are all great idea's! Attaching onto the Spren "Cage of Death", wouldn't it just be easier to make a tank? It is, technically, a weapon. Or, more along the developmental lines of Roshar, Leonardo Da Vinci's death wagon (the one with the spinning blades and hooks for chopping people into little bits). Another question to consider would be whether separate gears are considered part of a single spren weapon, or if you would need multiple spren to make a gear-powered weapon. And how far, exactly, would it take to make a spren gun?

Or is it that fewer girls are diagnosed than boys because there have been few to zero studies of female aspergers? Female aspies are also less noticeable than male because they are less likely to go "train-spotting". Their behavior doesn't stick out as much because they focus on more socially acceptable things (like a boy-band) than males do (train-spotting, obsession lego building). Female aspies also imitate different persona's to fit in with the crowd. I'm not talking slight changes in interactions between friends and employers, I mean huge transitions, like Shallan skipping between Veil and Radiant. Jasnah, as far as we've seen, seems to be pretty constant in who she is and who she views herself to be, so I'm not sure about her being an aspie. Jasnah does focus pretty heavily on her research, but that heavy focus can be passed off as her occupation. If Jasnah is autistic, I think that she has either used a crapload of self control to beat the "strangeness" out of herself, or she recluses herself away so that not that much of it shows.

I Am Witless enters the room awkwardly. I Am Witless isn't good at roleplaying. "Books before friends, 17th Shard before the real world, Release days before birthdays." She mutters, avoiding eye contact. "I will read that which has not been read, I will stay silent amongst many words, I will enjoy without being upvoted." She looks around, but ends up back at her feet. "I also came here for a spiked cookie. If anyone has one. Y'know....."

No Mating.

Hi ya'll! I finished Oathbringer about ten minutes ago, so here are some of my thoughts. Favorite things: Bridge Four gradually transitioning into Radients, especially Teft's mini-arc. Lift being awesome. A Renarin viewpoint (finally!). Adolin and Shallan getting married. The view into Shadesmar, which we've just seen as a barren, lifeless place. NO MATING. As well as the countless other things that I've doubtlessly forgotten. Szeth and Nightblood. "Azure", who we absolutely don't recognize at all from any other cosmere book. A 100 pg long battle scene. Least favorite things: Moash. I really wanted a redemption arc from him, but I guess we need a villain in the next couple books. No interaction between "Azure" and Zahel at any point. Elhokar dying. Shallan still not being sure of who she is. Kaladin's thing with seeing both sides of the conflict was really good, but still really painful to watch (almost as painful as the end of the dueling scene in WoR). A 100 pg long battle scene. Ships: At about 3/4 of the way through the book, Dalinar + Happiness, Kaladin + Happiness, Shallan + Happiness, Teft + Happiness....... You know what? 3/4 of the way through the book I shipped everyone with happiness and peace. And, at the end of the book, I still do. The most important step is the next one. As in, the next book.

Huh. I took this twice before the edit and once after. As follows.... 1st time: 53% Windrunner, 44% Willshaper, 35% Elsecaller 2nd time: 47% Elsecaller, 42% Windrunner, 39% Truthwatcher 3rd time: 44% Truthwatcher, 34% Skybreaker, 32% Elsecaller So.... Maybe I'm an Elsecaller?