Kobold King

Root beer. I'm Kobold King. If you came here looking for a perfectly straightforward AMA with questions always answered earnestly, seriously, and precisely, then you've journeyed to the wrong place. You're not my real dad. You can't tell me what to do. My AMA, my rules. Heffalumps and woozles. I mean, it's been years since I've had either a coke or a pepsi, since when I get a soda, I always get a root beer. I can't give you whatever you consider a proper answer when there's no answer to give. It'd be like me demanding that you tell me what the best cut off a roadkill tapir is. Also, do keep your voice down in here. I'd hate to have to call security on you.

Neither. Root beer or chocolate milk for me, depending on the mood. Ice cream every time. See answer 4. See answer 3.

My dad uses "booger hook" for "index finger."

Most people, upon being told about a certain Cosmere easter egg in Words of Radiance. (Spoilers.)

The sheer audacity!

You get... arrested for drug dealing! What did you think Han kept in those secret compartments? * inserts Dalek *

I had an idea for a short story where "Mary Sue" is an eldritch abomination, a surviving relic of a creature called the Deathless Idol that became obsessed with perfection, worming its way into human societies in order to harvest the praise of mortals.

Two apex predators, magical in nature, nigh-immortal, and competing for the same prey: mankind. And yet their war, their constant species rivalry, must always remain in the shadows lest their common prey catch on to the Masquerade and wipe them out. And yet, every book that breaches this subject is wholly devoted to things that I could care less about, starting with the covers, which invariably showcase either a shirtless man or a heroine in a navel-exposing top, all the way to the last pages. As Missy would undoubtedly say to paranormal romance writers, Please try to pull yourself out of the reproductive frenzy of your species and contemplate something greater.

Thanks Mckeedee!

We typically learn more about a paranormal heroine's bra size than we do about werewolf / vampire subculture.

"All of time and space, anything that ever happened or ever will... where do you want to start?" --Malcolm Reynolds on the Enterprise

Can people give you pretty green arrows in real life when they like what you say? Didn't think so. The 17th Shard is a superior medium of communication to Real Life.

Instead of a pretty Korean girl, the OC in my music video slowly dances towards a giant upvote on a train. I is aware. I is going to shrink it and put it on my profile with the Diaemus one Mckeedee made.

That'd be great. I was hoping to upgrade my profile with banners for the various projects I'm a part of. Being Psy is fun and all, but I think I've exhausted that particular life choice.

Wasn't there a cool banner made for the Reckoners RPG a while ago? It had a creepy forest with the words "Oregon will fall when the Question is asked" on it? I can't seem to find it. :/

This week on the Random Stuff thread, Fluttershy reacts to the planet Roshar and all its dangerous fauna. She takes it surprisingly well.

Brick made of porridge and rhinoceros astronaut are the ones that spring most immediately to mind. I'll see if I can find some more later. What kind of additional information do you need?

If that happens, be sure to send one right back.

I know! There's a whole 18 people who haven't voted explicitly for "bowties"!

Good Guy Odium? Also, this just in from the world of Cosmere clickbait.

This plan, I like it. Perfect for this strange thing airsick lowlanders call Christmas.

You get a snowball! Like the problems, it will eventually melt away. * inserts ten-sided die *

"You don't understand, Mom. I'm an ironic Satanist. I sacrifice goats under the full moon to show how stupid it is."

I voted bow ties, but fezzes and mops are superior fashion accessories and should be donned at every opportunity. Stetsons are good too.

Awesome! As a reward for your thoughtfulness, here's a picture of clubbing baby seals.