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Sharder One-Liners


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"What are you, a communist? Who doesn't like watermelon?!?" - My history teacher

 

My friend: *coughs aggressively*

Me: "Stop dying, you're gonna get me sick. *holds out hand* Please get me sick"

 

"Not the cereal bar!" - My friend

 

"That's a half-hearted hand. Whole-heart that hand, [ @The Bookwyrm ]!" - @InfiniteInsanity's mom

 

"Nooo, he can't mate with his brother!" - Me

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I stand by that and I will continue to smite you.

I have a sub today and the number of things he's said just in the first 10 minutes of class...

"Anyways, he had no neck."

"Ah, sorry, I was at a jr high the other day and I was calling roll and it was like "Rachel" and she was like "It's raquel, actually" and I was like "OH welcome to Utah."

"...and then the teacher just packed up and left in the middle of the night. Disappeared. So that's what happened to that drivers ed teacher. It was a weird day. I laughed. And cried."

"If I could be old...ah, that would be the life. Retired, puttering around, screaming at kids to get off my lawn...I can't wait."

He's also wearing a sparkly red vest and he has a mustache.

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3 minutes ago, Edema Ruh said:

He's also wearing a sparkly red vest and he has a mustache.

BAHAHA I LOVE THAT!!!

here's some quote from some of my subs within the past week:

 

“Hehe his eyes are circled.”

 

"Uhhh, cool. yeah, ya'll are thumbs now."

 

all of these ones are from the same teacher:

 

"Ohmygosh security!! Security, there's a runner!!"

 

"Hi, sweetie pie!!"

 

"you guys, your teacher is so cute"

 

Her: "I bet if you walk into class tomorrow and tell your teacher that you think he's cute, that you would be his favorite student, if you aren't already there"

Me: "Uhh, he  has a wife..."

Her: "Pfft- *whispers* shh, it's okay, she doesn't have to know"

 

"sometimes I'll call the other teachers 'sweetie pie' but then I'm like, wait, you're an adult, what am I doing? that's so weird"

 

"Oh my gosh, you guys!! why is it so hot in here?!? *talking to herself* Ugh, menopause... *normal voice* I['m just kidding, I'm not actually going through menopause, I'm only 37"

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58 minutes ago, Ancient Elantrian said:

I just think that someone had to die and it might as well be him. 

- @Edema Ruh


Bet, Mr.  “I really really really don’t want her to win, so she has to get dead.”

…my phone is being so FRIDGING weird or I’d quote more and also summon you.

 

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