Certified Gay Disasters

[6 7 ✾ She♡Her ✾]

2 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Weak. I can. I'm very stubborn

This feels like I'm arguing with a (female) wall. If you don't want to be cis, you almost certainly aren't. There haven't been very many cases of people being wrong about being trans, but you know what there have been a lot of cases of? Worrying that one isn't trans and is just faking it, only to figure out that yes, they were trans.

You can increase the font sizes of most devices.

I didn't know I was trans for 14.75 years. Until then, it wasn't an issue. The dysphoria only really started afterwords.

This one is probably right, actually. If you can get your parents to realize how horrible you feel, they will probably be more inclined to help you.

 

Just now, Kansas Stormcursed said:

It's intended as partially joking. And is also kinda true

I also might not know how to argue in the first place.

[Aeoryi she/her]

ok after a very brief break I am back

It just doesn't seem that simple as "well if you want to be transgender you are"

That's the issue

[Hmmm lies she/her]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

ok after a very brief break I am back

It just doesn't seem that simple as "well if you want to be transgender you are"

That's the issue

Why can't it be? It's really damn hard being trans, being in a body that doesn't suit oneself, knowing there's a large part of society that hates me; why would anyone want this? Only real reason is because it's who you are.

Here's a question: Would you rather be a cis guy, or a cis girl? 

[Aeoryi she/her]

5 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

This feels like I'm arguing with a (female) wall. If you don't want to be cis, you almost certainly aren't. There haven't been very many cases of people being wrong about being trans, but you know what there have been a lot of cases of? Worrying that one isn't trans and is just faking it, only to figure out that yes, they were trans.

statistically it is likely, I suppose. But then if I'm trans then why do I keep on doubting myself if I am?

6 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

You can increase the font sizes of most devices.

I was also advised against reading it... I don't remember why exactly? Something to do with transmedicalism? It's hard to remember exactly where that was from but it'll always stick with me

 

8 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

I didn't know I was trans for 14.75 years. Until then, it wasn't an issue. The dysphoria only really started afterwords

There's a lot of things before I was trans that I feel like I could frame as dysphoria if I felt that way, like it could be considered dysphoria, but then it feels like a reach, because after all, everything is tinted through a tinted colored lens.

But it's gotten so much worse after and isn't it supposed to be better though like shouldn't being trans be better than not being trans if you're trans? Why do I now have MORE issues than before?

9 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

This one is probably right, actually. If you can get your parents to realize how horrible you feel, they will probably be more inclined to help you.

I'm just worried they won't notice, or they'll think it's like, schizophrenia or something 

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

statistically it is likely, I suppose. But then if I'm trans then why do I keep on doubting myself if I am?

I was also advised against reading it... I don't remember why exactly? Something to do with transmedicalism? It's hard to remember exactly where that was from but it'll always stick with me

 

There's a lot of things before I was trans that I feel like I could frame as dysphoria if I felt that way, like it could be considered dysphoria, but then it feels like a reach, because after all, everything is tinted through a tinted colored lens.

But it's gotten so much worse after and isn't it supposed to be better though like shouldn't being trans be better than not being trans if you're trans? Why do I now have MORE issues than before?

I'm just worried they won't notice, or they'll think it's like, schizophrenia or something 

YEAH WELL IF THEY DO THEN STORM THEM TO THE GRAVE

[6 7 ✾ She♡Her ✾]

2 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

But then if I'm trans then why do I keep on doubting myself if I am?

pretty sure it's normal for someone who's trans to doubt that, but idk

[Aeoryi she/her]

4 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Here's a question: Would you rather be a cis guy, or a cis girl? 

a cis girl 

But being cisgender implies that I'd be happy with whatever I picked so it doesn't really make a difference

realistically I'd choose girl but if I had to really pick I'd probably pick neither because I don't want to be like super super at the end of either gender spectrum (i.e NOT masculine man or a very feminine woman).

2 minutes ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

YEAH WELL IF THEY DO THEN STORM THEM TO THE GRAVE

ok basically I don't want it to get bad enough to the point I get sent to a psych ward or something stupid like that

[6 7 ✾ She♡Her ✾]

me when i gotta sleep instead of reading the gdb:

me when i realize i can read it tomorrow:

 

5 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

ok basically I don't want it to get bad enough to the point I get sent to a psych ward or something stupid like that

i hope they don't (still?) do that...

[Hmmm lies she/her]

5 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

 

I was also advised against reading it... I don't remember why exactly? Something to do with transmedicalism? It's hard to remember exactly where that was from but it'll always stick with me

That's strange, there's literally a whole paragraph that's anti-transmedicalism. Maybe this person who said this was pro-transmedicalsm?

5 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

statistically it is likely, I suppose. But then if I'm trans then why do I keep on doubting myself if I am?

Because it's scary, I guess. I never doubted myself like you do, but still, I did doubt myself.

 

5 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

There's a lot of things before I was trans that I feel like I could frame as dysphoria if I felt that way, like it could be considered dysphoria, but then it feels like a reach, because after all, everything is tinted through a tinted colored lens.

But it's gotten so much worse after and isn't it supposed to be better though like shouldn't being trans be better than not being trans if you're trans? Why do I now have MORE issues than before?

You ever be in a really humid room, but you don't really notice, but then someone mentions it, and all of a sudden it feels really horrible? It's kinda like that. Gender dysphoria feels a lot worse when you're aware of it.

Plus, you're probably going through "male" puberty right now, which is probably making you feel worse about yourself.

5 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I'm just worried they won't notice, or they'll think it's like, schizophrenia or something 

I get it

2 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

a cis girl 

But being cisgender implies that I'd be happy with whatever I picked so it doesn't really make a difference

realistically I'd choose girl but if I had to really pick I'd probably pick neither because I don't want to be like super super at the end of either gender spectrum (i.e NOT masculine man or a very feminine woman).

You say you'd be happy with whatever you picked, and yet you still pick a girl. Maybe it's not an entirely logical question, but I'd say your answer is very trans.

Maybe here's a better question. If you were AFAB, would you want to transition into a guy? (Me realizing that the answer to this was no was an early sign of me being trans)

And gender presentation can be independent of gender identity. I know a trans tomboy, and I've met trans femboys.

There's also the possibility of non-binary identities, but I kinda worried that considering that would just stress you out more. I think a good starting step is accepting you're not cis.

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 minute ago, Theory said:

me when i gotta sleep instead of reading the gdb:

me when i realize i can read it tomorrow:

 

i hope they don't (still?) do that...

I do too 

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

4 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

a cis girl 

But being cisgender implies that I'd be happy with whatever I picked so it doesn't really make a difference

realistically I'd choose girl but if I had to really pick I'd probably pick neither because I don't want to be like super super at the end of either gender spectrum (i.e NOT masculine man or a very feminine woman).

ok basically I don't want it to get bad enough to the point I get sent to a psych ward or something stupid like that

mmm i see

idea: Demigirl

I would once again like to emphasize that this is a spectrum. If one specific thing doesn't feel completely you, I can assure you that somewhere out there, there is something that is completely you.

[Aeoryi she/her]

Just now, Hmmm lies said:

That's strange, there's literally a whole paragraph that's anti-transmedicalism. Maybe this person who said this was pro-transmedicalsm?

It's one of the egg_irl rules. So I don't actually know.

 

2 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Because it's scary, I guess. I never doubted myself like you do, but still, I did doubt myself.

it is very scary

2 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

ever be in a really humid room, but you don't really notice, but then someone mentions it, and all of a sudden it feels really horrible? It's kinda like that. Gender dysphoria feels a lot worse when you're aware of it.

Sometimes it's gender dysphoria other times it's just things like I hate being called a boy and I hate my deadname which don't really fall under dysphoria 

4 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Plus, you're probably going through "male" puberty right now, which is probably making you feel worse about yourself

Already gone through male puberty unfortunately which just sucks because I didn't notice it happening and/or I didn't care enough about it at the time

4 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

You say you'd be happy with whatever you picked, and yet you still pick a girl. Maybe it's not an entirely logical question, but I'd say your answer is very trans

girl is very much preferred but like I would take being a not very masculine guy over being a very masculine man or very feminine woman

It's a priority chain, almost 

6 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Maybe here's a better question. If you were AFAB, would you want to transition into a guy? (Me realizing that the answer to this was no was an early sign of me being trans)

I mean I'd answer this but I already did when I was younger (this is cringe so I'll spoiler it)

Spoiler

I encouraged my sibling not to pursue transition when I was 13 because I was like "being a girl is so much better I don't understand why you want to be a guy it sucks" 

Which was, evidently, not the right thing to say, but I was young okay, I didn't know any better

8 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

And gender presentation can be independent of gender identity. I know a trans tomboy, and I've met trans femboys

that's true. I don't like to emphasize my gender expression. Tbh I'd be fine with something mildly androgenous 

9 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

There's also the possibility of non-binary identities, but I kinda worried that considering that would just stress you out more. I think a good starting step is accepting you're not cis.

I have considered non-binary and/or fluid identities but

• I am fine with they/them pronouns but I don't actually think I exist *outside* of the gender binary, just somewhere in the middle. 
• I am fine with they/them pronouns but I don't actually think I exist *outside* of the gender binary, just somewhere in the middle. 

• Being non-binary is chill but also it is incredibly unsupported right now

• Even if I was non-binary I'd still feel like I'd want to distance myself from being perceived as male. 

• As for gender fluid I existed as two genders for a decent portion of my life and I can say I firmly prefer one over the other

10 minutes ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

mmm i see

idea: Demigirl

I would once again like to emphasize that this is a spectrum. If one specific thing doesn't feel completely you, I can assure you that somewhere out there, there is something that is completely you.

This is definitely a label I've considered but demigirl isn't really a well supported identity at the moment and it's just more helpful to be a trans girl instead. 

[Hmmm lies she/her]

2 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

Sometimes it's gender dysphoria other times it's just things like I hate being called a boy and I hate my deadname which don't really fall under dysphoria 

Actually yes, that does fall under dysphoria. It's just social rather than physical

3 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

girl is very much preferred but like I would take being a not very masculine guy over being a very masculine man or very feminine woman

It's a priority chain, almost 

I have a friend of mine who up until recently, believed that they were a trans girl, but now considers themself non-binary. They still prefer femininity to masculinity, but doesn't feel comfortable as a boy or a girl. They don't have a label for themselves, but maybe you're feeling something similar.

4 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

  Hide contents

I encouraged my sibling not to pursue transition when I was 13 because I was like "being a girl is so much better I don't understand why you want to be a guy it sucks" 

Which was, evidently, not the right thing to say, but I was young okay, I didn't know any better

I never said this to anyone in particular, but I did used to think this about trans guys.

5 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I have considered non-binary and/or fluid identities but

 

• I am fine with they/them pronouns but I don't actually think I exist *outside* of the gender binary, just somewhere in the middle. 
• I am fine with they/them pronouns but I don't actually think I exist *outside* of the gender binary, just somewhere in the middle. 

   

• Being non-binary is chill but also it is incredibly unsupported right now

   

• Even if I was non-binary I'd still feel like I'd want to distance myself from being perceived as male. 

   

Somewhere in the middle is still non-binary. Non-binary means not just a guy or just a girl.

I understand the hestitence because of enbyphobia. Nothing unreasonable about that. But I don't think it could hurt to think about it, it could be a reason you feel hesitant about being a girl.

Like I said before, that enby friend considers themselves less masculine than feminine. And as such, they're taking feminizing HRT still.

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 minute ago, Hmmm lies said:

Actually yes, that does fall under dysphoria. It's just social rather than physical

(I still have physical dysphoria too but for the most part it's social)

2 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

have a friend of mine who up until recently, believed that they were a trans girl, but now considers themself non-binary. They still prefer femininity to masculinity, but doesn't feel comfortable as a boy or a girl. They don't have a label for themselves, but maybe you're feeling something similar.

2 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Somewhere in the middle is still non-binary. Non-binary means not just a guy or just a girl

yes, but I've *really* considered it and I really don't think I'm non-binary. It's more likely I'm agender than non-binary but honestly if I have to live in a gendered world I'd just rather be perceived as a girl

3 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

understand the hestitence because of enbyphobia. Nothing unreasonable about that. But I don't think it could hurt to think about it, it could be a reason you feel hesitant about being a girl.

It could be. But being an enby just isn't for me. I've met people who are enby and they're awesome and cool but I'm really just not like them. That way of living just isn't for me.

[Hmmm lies she/her]

4 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

yes, but I've *really* considered it and I really don't think I'm non-binary. It's more likely I'm agender than non-binary but honestly if I have to live in a gendered world I'd just rather be perceived as a girl

Agender is a non-binary identity, since it's not either male or female.

4 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

It could be. But being an enby just isn't for me. I've met people who are enby and they're awesome and cool but I'm really just not like them. That way of living just isn't for me.

I believe you. Or, at the very least, I don't think you're enby in the same way I think you're trans. You can figure that stuff out for yourself.

 

Anyway, I hope you realize now, that at the very least, you are clearly not cis, and you should stop stressing about it so much. (Oh and btw I'll investigate the supposed transmedicalism in the gdb later. When I read through the whole thing it seemed like the opposite of transmedicalist.)

Edited January 12 by Hmmm lies

[Aeoryi she/her]

4 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Agender is a non-binary identity, since it's not either male or female.

ehhhhh

It's different in my opinion

4 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

I believe you. Or, at the very least, I don't think you're enby in the same way I think you're trans. You can figure that stuff out for yourself

I just want to be trans okay let me be

5 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Anyway, I hope you realize now, that at the very least, you are clearly not cis, and you should stop stressing about it so much

I'm still worried what happens if I end up being cisgender 

[Hmmm lies she/her]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

ehhhhh

It's different in my opinion

*shrugs*

Just now, Aeoryi said:

I just want to be trans okay let me be

Sorry if I'm giving you too much pressure, please tell me if you want me to stop.

1 minute ago, Aeoryi said:

I'm still worried what happens if I end up being cisgender 

I genuinely don't think that's a possibility anymore. Maybe some people have questioned if they were trans for a few months and decided they weren't, but you have for years. Even if there was like a 1% chance you were cis, one has to understand that that is practically nothing. I'm certain that the negative outcome of it turning out you were cis would not be 99 times worse than the good of what would happen if you transitioned and were trans.

[Aeoryi she/her]

2 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

I genuinely don't think that's a possibility anymore. Maybe some people have questioned if they were trans for a few months and decided they weren't, but you have for years. Even if there was like a 1% chance you were cis, one has to understand that that is practically nothing. I'm certain that the negative outcome of it turning out you were cis would not be 99 times worse than the good of what would happen if you transitioned and were trans.

I'm worried about being cis because I want to be transgender 

2 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

*shrugs*

I definitely align with the agender agenda because gender is a stupid concept that shouldn't exist altogether

but like the next best thing is being trans

Spoiler

[Hmmm lies she/her]

1 minute ago, Aeoryi said:

I'm worried about being cis because I want to be transgender 

I definitely align with the agender agenda because gender is a stupid concept that shouldn't exist altogether

but like the next best thing is being trans

  Hide contents

(I'm sorry, I have a bit of a problem where I have kind of an obsession with the correct terminology, just going to mention that all non-binary/agender people are considered trans, since they identify as a different gender then what was assigned at birth. You can ignore this.)

I'm not a gender abolitionist myself, but I understand where the idea comes from.

Well if you're worried about being cis, maybe here's yet another good question. (also I think the results of this quiz seem pretty not cis)

"If I want to be a girl, why shouldn't I be able to?"

Why should "wanting to be a girl" and "being a girl" be any different? Shouldn't everyone have the identity they want to have?

[Aeoryi she/her]

Just now, Hmmm lies said:

(I'm sorry, I have a bit of a problem where I have kind of an obsession with the correct terminology, just going to mention that all non-binary/agender people are considered trans, since they identify as a different gender then what was assigned at birth. You can ignore this.)

many enby people consider themselves transgender but some don't. 

 

1 minute ago, Hmmm lies said:

Well if you're worried about being cis, maybe here's yet another good question. (also I think the results of this quiz seem pretty not cis)

"If I want to be a girl, why shouldn't I be able to?"

Why should "wanting to be a girl" and "being a girl" be any different? Shouldn't everyone have the identity they want to have?

I should be able to but everything's so difficult.

also I'm pretty sure I'm not enby because  gender euphoria

Let's talk about how awesome gender euphoria is instead of how awful things are for being transgender in the world

[certifiedcranedriver she/her]

1 minute ago, Aeoryi said:

Let's talk about how awesome gender euphoria is instead of how awful things are for being transgender in the world

yes it cool

[Aeoryi she/her]

3 minutes ago, certifiedcranedriver said:

yes it cool

when I painted my nails it was genuinely one of the most fun experiences I've done in a while

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

1 hour ago, Aeoryi said:

It's one of the egg_irl rules. So I don't actually know.

 

it is very scary

Sometimes it's gender dysphoria other times it's just things like I hate being called a boy and I hate my deadname which don't really fall under dysphoria 

Already gone through male puberty unfortunately which just sucks because I didn't notice it happening and/or I didn't care enough about it at the time

girl is very much preferred but like I would take being a not very masculine guy over being a very masculine man or very feminine woman

It's a priority chain, almost 

I mean I'd answer this but I already did when I was younger (this is cringe so I'll spoiler it)

  Reveal hidden contents

I encouraged my sibling not to pursue transition when I was 13 because I was like "being a girl is so much better I don't understand why you want to be a guy it sucks" 

Which was, evidently, not the right thing to say, but I was young okay, I didn't know any better

that's true. I don't like to emphasize my gender expression. Tbh I'd be fine with something mildly androgenous 

I have considered non-binary and/or fluid identities but

 

• I am fine with they/them pronouns but I don't actually think I exist *outside* of the gender binary, just somewhere in the middle. 
• I am fine with they/them pronouns but I don't actually think I exist *outside* of the gender binary, just somewhere in the middle. 

   

• Being non-binary is chill but also it is incredibly unsupported right now

   

• Even if I was non-binary I'd still feel like I'd want to distance myself from being perceived as male. 

   

• As for gender fluid I existed as two genders for a decent portion of my life and I can say I firmly prefer one over the other

   

 

This is definitely a label I've considered but demigirl isn't really a well supported identity at the moment and it's just more helpful to be a trans girl instead. 

Is this discussion over? Just asking.

Still, I'm going to give a piece of advice. What you believe yourself to be can still be different from what you tell the world. The closer you feel comfortable to getting to what you believe youself being is better, and more healthy. But a more general version is also perfectly fine.

In all technical purposes, I believe myself to be somewhere on the asexual spectrum. However, because of multiple complications, I call myself merely Aromantic. You could tell others that you are a trans girl, but internally accept that you are a much more complicated person than this single label. You have deep intricasies that go far beyond what you could ever express. So internally, know who you are. Sometimes, that's all that matters.

[6 7 ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Ugh that night was ...not great

anyway now that it's finally over, time to continue reading the gdb.

actually, im currently reading one of the Medium articles linked to in the gdb

Edited January 12 by Theory

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

Ok @Aeoryi I’m a bit late to this conversation but I want to say one thing

so like what lies said is all correct, but also like we all feel this, every trans person I’ve ever met feels doubts, zero cis people I’ve met do, if you were cis you wouldn’t be like “oh no what if I’m not cis”. Also you shouldn’t treat transitioning as like something wrong, like I think you need to treat it like breaking a bone, we are in the wrong body and are body’s are broken transitioning is fixing that, fixing a broken bone isn’t wrong so why would this be.