Hmmm lies she/her Posted January 18 Posted January 18 3 hours ago, Theory said: How do I tell if what im feeling is dysphoria from my "current gender," dysphoria from trying things (is that even a thing?), anxiety, anxiety that I have the latter type of dysphoria, anxiety that I don't have the former, etc. etc. Like if I end up getting dysphoric cuz I, say, shave my legs or use she/her or something, then am I not trans? And how do I even know if its dysphoria or if im just anxious ill get dysphoria so i mistake anxiety for dysphoria and then yeah I mean, maybe it's best to look at it from hypotheticals? Like what it would be like if X, regardless of your current situation. 3 hours ago, Theory said: And I know yall have lives and stuff but still...its hard when no one responds [quickly] And yall probably also have your own troubles to deal with... then I just end up enjoying nothing... maybe im just...putting too much on this forum. i shouldn't be anxiously waiting to talk to yall. instead i should just...idk whatever, yk? Sorry, my schedule is very inconsistent, I saw this post, but didn't really have time to write out a response. I'm usually more active on weekdays on the Shard. Maybe try and find other online spaces of support? I'm not really sure what you would look for, but I'm sure there's other online places that can help questioning trans people like yourself. 3 hours ago, Theory said: what if im feeling dysphoria cuz i shaved my legs, or dysphoria cuz there not completely shaved and there's still little hairs and bits I missed and also not the whole legs???? Or neither? Or dysphoria cuz i finally realized im trans, even tho i didnt!!! (at least i dont think so) What if the reason i dont know what im feeling is because its not dysphoria or euphoria or anything, which would be obvious? Why are these worries sounding ridiculous even if they're true And if that means that they are ridiculous, im still back to square one. Or am i. idk. maybe if i ignore all of what i said above, then i can think better about what im feeling, if you catch my drift. doubt it'll work tho. Hard to say. It's okay not to know all the answers. Everyone is different, and just because someone experiences dysphoria in one way, doesn't mean you will. Keep thinking about it, I'm sure you'll figure it eventually. 3 hours ago, Theory said: and, as a counterpoint to my worries, why was I looking forward to shaving so much??? hmmmmm??????? if i "didnt like it" then why could i barely wait to it???? Maybe you didn't like it because it drew attention to hairy legs? Perhaps the distaste was that it didn't live up to idealized expectations?
Shatter He/Him Posted January 18 Posted January 18 Just now, Theory said: Now I'm at the point where there are lingering-yet-fizzled remnants of my doubts and objections. So I just have to acknowledge that I'm not some...incapable foolperson. side note: i risk depression and anxiety just by peeking at the mental health thread, which is a bit unfortunate. But luckily I'm not rlly depressed or anything rn. I saw you were? You feelin' better? I'd stay away from there for now because of that. I'm a little better. I've realized that I cannot protecc if I am depress
Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾ Posted January 18 Posted January 18 3 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said: I mean, maybe it's best to look at it from hypotheticals? Like what it would be like if X, regardless of your current situation. Sorry, my schedule is very inconsistent, I saw this post, but didn't really have time to write out a response. I'm usually more active on weekdays on the Shard. Maybe try and find other online spaces of support? I'm not really sure what you would look for, but I'm sure there's other online places that can help questioning trans people like yourself. Hard to say. It's okay not to know all the answers. Everyone is different, and just because someone experiences dysphoria in one way, doesn't mean you will. Keep thinking about it, I'm sure you'll figure it eventually. Maybe you didn't like it because it drew attention to hairy legs? Perhaps the distaste was that it didn't live up to idealized expectations? Me is on phone rn so i dont wanna quote to each section separately, but... Wdym by hypothetical thing? Its fine i guess... (since that's the right thing to say) i guess... i dont rlly like..uhmm...other platforms sometimes if u catch my drift? Yeah. Hmm, good point. I think that could be it or part of it. Yes, yes. *strokes smooth chin*
Aeoryi she/her Posted January 18 Posted January 18 5 hours ago, Theory said: @Aeoryi Y'all guess what? I shaved my legs. they're sooo smooth now its like...yeahh. definitely gonna do again. idk if i got euphoria tho. but i think i felt a little happier. and it was fun. I'll have to do it again to get rid of the rest but yeah... sTilL cIs ThO Oh? 3 hours ago, Theory said: what if im not trans cool whatever. think about it later. 43 minutes ago, Theory said: Wait a sec where are y'all isnt it the weekend? Trying not to crash into the side of the road 36 minutes ago, Shatter said: Do you have a discord account? If so, DM me wif it caue I can't DM you. I also respond faster to discord if you really need to contact me in a pinch.
Hmmm lies she/her Posted January 18 Posted January 18 20 minutes ago, Theory said: Wdym by hypothetical thing? Like don't think about how you are now, just think about different bodies you could have or situations you could be in independently of your current life. 21 minutes ago, Theory said: I guess... i dont rlly like..uhmm...other platforms sometimes if u catch my drift? I don't catch your drift, actually. what do you mean? 2
Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾ Posted January 18 Posted January 18 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said: Like don't think about how you are now, just think about different bodies you could have or situations you could be in independently of your current life. I don't catch your drift, actually. what do you mean? Hmm ok i suppose. edit: wait hold on what about just imagining i was someone but not anyone in particular and not me because o cant imagine myself but i can imagine being someone, you know? At least i think...idk Let's put it this way...the Shard is better in certain ways from, say, Reddit. Edited January 18 by Theory
Hmmm lies she/her Posted January 18 Posted January 18 2 minutes ago, Theory said: Hmm ok i suppose. Let's put it this way...the Shard is better in certain ways from, say, Reddit. Alright, I get it. Still, I bet there's somewhere else, maybe someone else here knows a good place. Also I just noticed that somehow, in the very short time you've been here, you've managed to get the 3rd most posts on this entire thread.
Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾ Posted January 18 Posted January 18 (edited) 1 minute ago, Hmmm lies said: Alright, I get it. Still, I bet there's somewhere else, maybe someone else here knows a good place. Also I just noticed that somehow, in the very short time you've been here, you've managed to get the 3rd most posts on this entire thread. oh, neat! also see my edits thats because i have no life Edited January 18 by Theory
Hmmm lies she/her Posted January 18 Posted January 18 5 minutes ago, Theory said: Hmm ok i suppose. edit: wait hold on what about just imagining i was someone but not anyone in particular and not me because o cant imagine myself but i can imagine being someone, you know? At least i think...idk Why not try it, and see how it goes.
Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾ Posted January 18 Posted January 18 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said: Why not try it, and see how it goes. ok gimme a minute @Hmmm lies huhhhhhh it works nice if i just imagine a girl (not me as a girl tho, at least not with that mindset even if the end result is the same) who just does everything i do. but instead of me doing it, its a girl. im gonna do some more hehe Edited January 18 by Theory
Shatter He/Him Posted January 18 Posted January 18 4 minutes ago, Theory said: oh, neat! also see my edits thats because i have no life We all have no life
Kansas Stormcursed he/him Posted January 18 Posted January 18 1 hour ago, Theory said: Wait a sec where are y'all isnt it the weekend? 1 hour ago, Shatter said: @Keke I'm not very good at this because… well… I'm a cis ally. I don't truly understand (I'm basically mental health support), but my bestie can help you. for some reason the shard is quieter on the weekend I have more stuff on the weekends than during the week. Like just now I was goofing around with a bunch of teens 23 minutes ago, Aeoryi said: Oh? cool whatever. think about it later. Trying not to crash into the side of the road I also respond faster to discord if you really need to contact me in a pinch. Ah fun. Icy roads? Or just roads
Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾ Posted January 18 Posted January 18 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Kansas Stormcursed said: with a bunch of teens bro ur a teen. unless you meant the teeny teens a.k.a like 13-15 or whatever Edited January 18 by Theory
Kansas Stormcursed he/him Posted January 18 Posted January 18 Just now, Theory said: bro ur a teen I am, yes However, I fall under the category of adults in terms of maturity rankings where I work But yes, for the moment I was also a teen
Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾ Posted January 18 Posted January 18 Just now, Kansas Stormcursed said: I am, yes However, I fall under the category of adults in terms of maturity rankings where I work But yes, for the moment I was also a teen no one knows what its like to be the bad woman to be the sad woman behind blue eyes yeah...i was gonna say like "i wonder what it's like..." and then devolved into reciting (with some changes) a song also @Hmmm lies now what 1
Aeoryi she/her Posted January 18 Posted January 18 4 minutes ago, Theory said: no one knows what its like to be the bad woman to be the sad woman behind blue eyes yeah...i was gonna say like "i wonder what it's like..." and then devolved into reciting (with some changes) a song also @Hmmm lies now what I'll find a new place to be from A haunted house, with a picket fence To float around and ghost my friends No, I'm not afraid To disappear The billboards said "the end is here"
Hmmm lies she/her Posted January 18 Posted January 18 3 minutes ago, Theory said: also @Hmmm lies now what oh sorry didn't see it Well if you said you liked that, then that's probably trans-coded. I think a reason that you seem to be having trouble with all of this, is that there's a part of your brain that's just saying "I can't be trans". It's like a mental block to overcome. As much evidence as there is to the contrary, this part is just refusing to accept that, only accepting what it believed to be reality for years. Idk if that was understandable, but I hope it was. 2
Aeoryi she/her Posted January 18 Posted January 18 1 minute ago, Hmmm lies said: I think a reason that you seem to be having trouble with all of this, is that there's a part of your brain that's just saying "I can't be trans". It's like a mental block to overcome. As much evidence as there is to the contrary, this part is just refusing to accept that, only accepting what it believed to be reality for years. Idk if that was understandable, but I hope it was To reiterate what Lies said, you have to really really give yourself the option of being transgender and realize that it is an actual path you can choose 1
Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾ Posted January 18 Posted January 18 1 minute ago, Aeoryi said: To reiterate what Lies said, you have to really really give yourself the option of being transgender and realize that it is an actual path you can choose I mean...I think shaving kinda...scary? because of that? Because like before...even with pronouns+ name. Before, I hadn't done anything...physical. all in the Cognitive Realm, so to speak. All online. Or in my head. Now that I'm actually, like, changing something about my body... it's different i think. So would wearing different clothes or using makeup or something like that. Catch-my-drift? Like...it was a step. A bigger step I think. 6 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said: oh sorry didn't see it Well if you said you liked that, then that's probably trans-coded. I think a reason that you seem to be having trouble with all of this, is that there's a part of your brain that's just saying "I can't be trans". It's like a mental block to overcome. As much evidence as there is to the contrary, this part is just refusing to accept that, only accepting what it believed to be reality for years. Idk if that was understandable, but I hope it was. Brain: "la-la-la no evidence here* or, perhaps more accurately, it doesn't care how much evidence there is. I wonder of it would care if..yeah, yk? Basically what u said i guess. 2
Hmmm lies she/her Posted January 18 Posted January 18 1 minute ago, Theory said: I mean...I think shaving kinda...scary? because of that? Because like before...even with pronouns+ name. Before, I hadn't done anything...physical. all in the Cognitive Realm, so to speak. All online. Or in my head. Now that I'm actually, like, changing something about my body... it's different i think. So would wearing different clothes or using makeup or something like that. Catch-my-drift? Like...it was a step. A bigger step I think. I never really experienced that as much, but I do get it. 1 minute ago, Theory said: Brain: "la-la-la no evidence here* or, perhaps more accurately, it doesn't care how much evidence there is. I wonder of it would care if..yeah, yk? Basically what u said i guess. Exactly. Anyway, I just want to make sure you know you don't have to rush this stuff. I figured a lot of stuff out in like the span of a few days, but I also know people who took months. 2
Aeoryi she/her Posted January 18 Posted January 18 1 minute ago, Theory said: Brain: "la-la-la no evidence here* or, perhaps more accurately, it doesn't care how much evidence there is. I wonder of it would care if..yeah, yk? Basically what u said i guess. Counterpoint: if Unicorns aren't real, why don't you prove it! 2 minutes ago, Theory said: I mean...I think shaving kinda...scary? because of that? Because like before...even with pronouns+ name. Before, I hadn't done anything...physical. all in the Cognitive Realm, so to speak. All online. Or in my head. Now that I'm actually, like, changing something about my body... it's different i think. So would wearing different clothes or using makeup or something like that. Catch-my-drift? Like...it was a step. A bigger step I think. What do you see when you think about who you want to be in five years? And yeah doing physical things is different. It's almost like a step saying "am I really serious about this".
Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾ Posted January 18 Posted January 18 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said: I never really experienced that as much, but I do get it. Exactly. Anyway, I just want to make sure you know you don't have to rush this stuff. I figured a lot of stuff out in like the span of a few days, but I also know people who took months. yeah...i guess. that's part of what i struggle with. the time. should get easier soon. 9 minutes ago, Aeoryi said: Counterpoint: if Unicorns aren't real, why don't you prove it! What do you see when you think about who you want to be in five years? And yeah doing physical things is different. It's almost like a step saying "am I really serious about this". counterpoint: I don't really understand how that relates to what I said. I understand that you mean trying to prove something false when you can't possibly do so (excluding any shenanigans a pedant would add). So..."If I'm not trans then prove it?" idk girl every time someone asks me this i just make some crem up that sounds accurate. never have had much talent for imagining my future... besides vaguities i guess. but...(in a half-hearted tone)who does? i know the whole "but who does" is a thing trans ppl sometiems say and it turns out cis ppl don't in fact do something. so...is that "normal" (not a sign) or not? yes precisely i think when I see this image and all i think about is the girl on the left (our left) and how i wanna be her: (it was one of the PFPs Coder was choosing from) Spoiler Edited January 18 by Theory when you re-read what you said and barely understand yourself 1
Aeoryi she/her Posted January 18 Posted January 18 6 minutes ago, Theory said: counterpoint: I don't really understand how that relates to what I said. I understand that you mean trying to prove something false when you can't possibly do so (excluding any shenanigans a pedant would add). So..."If I'm not trans then prove it?" idk It is the Burden of Proof Fallacy. My personal favorite example. Idk, I just thought maybe knowing what it is might help. 7 minutes ago, Theory said: girl every time someone asks me this i just make some crem up that sounds accurate. never have had much talent for imagining my future... besides vaguities i guess. but...(in a half-hearted tone)who does? i know the whole "but who does" is a thing trans ppl sometiems say and it turns out cis ppl don't in fact do something. so...is that "normal" (not a sign) or not? ok
Through The Living Glass She/They Posted January 18 Posted January 18 On 1/15/2026 at 2:01 PM, Theory said: anyone on? ME HI lol anyway thursday vibes
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