Certified Gay Disasters

[Keke They/he]

1 minute ago, Hmmm lies said:

Aww, thanks. I am a bit of a nerd about gender.

They/them can be used for bigender people, agender people (I've never heard the term gender apathetic before, but it sounds kinda like agender, except without dysphoria.), gender-fluid people, systems, xenogendered people, and just about anyone non-binary who wants to.

It should be noted that the term non-binary just refers to any gender identity that is not "Just male" or "Just female". And I also saw someone here was confused about their gender but called themselves "not trans", but I think you might be conflating the term "trans" with "binary trans". The former just means your gender identity is not the same as your gender assigned at birth, while the latter refers to when someone's gender identity is the "other" gender compared to what they were assigned at birth (Like yours truly). Non-binary people are trans, since they identify with something different then what they were assigned at birth. 

 

I don't want to assume anything, or tell you what your identity is, @shortcake, but from what you've said, this apagender label seems like it would fit you better than the genderfluid label. Again, please don't take what I'm saying as fact, even if I do know a lot about gender, you are the only one who really knows you. I'd still do some introspection, since you still seem unsure of things.

 

Let me know if you have anymore questions.

Yeah i was doing research and i think it is.

im not very versed in this cause i was raised away from all of it so my info is from google so….

[Keke They/he]

Alright so after research i got this its taken from google so

"agender" means someone identifies as having no gender at all, while "gender apathetic" describes someone who simply doesn't care about their gender or feels indifferent towards the concept of gender, potentially still identifying with a gender but not feeling strongly about it

So thats the difference between them.

[shortcake thr/eat ka/boom]

41 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Aww, thanks. I am a bit of a nerd about gender.

They/them can be used for bigender people, agender people (I've never heard the term gender apathetic before, but it sounds kinda like agender, except without dysphoria.), gender-fluid people, systems, xenogendered people, and just about anyone non-binary who wants to.

It should be noted that the term non-binary just refers to any gender identity that is not "Just male" or "Just female". And I also saw someone here was confused about their gender but called themselves "not trans", but I think you might be conflating the term "trans" with "binary trans". The former just means your gender identity is not the same as your gender assigned at birth, while the latter refers to when someone's gender identity is the "other" gender compared to what they were assigned at birth (Like yours truly). Non-binary people are trans, since they identify with something different then what they were assigned at birth. 

 

I don't want to assume anything, or tell you what your identity is, @shortcake, but from what you've said, this apagender label seems like it would fit you better than the genderfluid label. Again, please don't take what I'm saying as fact, even if I do know a lot about gender, you are the only one who really knows you. I'd still do some introspection, since you still seem unsure of things.

 

Let me know if you have anymore questions.

thank you

I was thinking the same thing about the apagender thing

1 minute ago, Clinically insane said:

Alright so after research i got this its taken from google so

"agender" means someone identifies as having no gender at all, while "gender apathetic" describes someone who simply doesn't care about their gender or feels indifferent towards the concept of gender, potentially still identifying with a gender but not feeling strongly about it

So thats the difference between them.

okay yeah. seems accurate for me

[Keke They/he]

3 minutes ago, shortcake said:

thank you

I was thinking the same thing about the apagender thing

okay yeah. seems accurate for me

Yeah 

ok wait i just did research on what apagender is

lowkey its the same thing as genderapathetic just a lil different 

Edited March 6, 2025 by Clinically insane

[shortcake thr/eat ka/boom]

15 minutes ago, Clinically insane said:

Yeah 

ok wait i just did research on what apagender is

lowkey its the same thing as genderapathetic just a lil different 

oh weird

when I looked up genderapathetic it showed up as apagender

[Keke They/he]

1 minute ago, shortcake said:

oh weird

when I looked up genderapathetic it showed up as apagender

Strange though they have different flags 

[shortcake thr/eat ka/boom]

Just now, Clinically insane said:

Strange though they have different flags 

hmm. odd

[Keke They/he]

1 hour ago, shortcake said:

hmm. odd

Yeah

[shortcake thr/eat ka/boom]

@Clinically insane I looked up whether apagender and gender apathetic are the same thing and it said they "essentially" are

[Keke They/he]

Just now, shortcake said:

@Clinically insane I looked up whether apagender and gender apathetic are the same thing and it said they "essentially" are

“Essentially” \

so they are

but maybe smol tiny difference

[BlueWildRye he/him]

So I haven't really looked into it much but it seems to me that being pan is just the same as being bi but with added attraction towards nonbinaries, is that right or should there be more to it? Because to me, with the root word "pan" meaning "all", it seems like pansexuals should be attracted to, you know, everything. My reasoning behind this is the pan flag which has three bars, one for attraction towards females, one towards males, and one towards nonbinaries. 

[Keke They/he]

19 hours ago, BlueWildRye said:

So I haven't really looked into it much but it seems to me that being pan is just the same as being bi but with added attraction towards nonbinaries, is that right or should there be more to it? Because to me, with the root word "pan" meaning "all", it seems like pansexuals should be attracted to, you know, everything. My reasoning behind this is the pan flag which has three bars, one for attraction towards females, one towards males, and one towards nonbinaries. 

Pansexual is not being attracted to looks but to stuff like personality and sensation. 

I'm a pan oriented aroace

I don't so sexual or romantic attraction but if i ever do have a "crush" on someone it's another form of attraction. 

Make sense?

[BlueWildRye he/him]

2 hours ago, Clinically insane said:

Pansexual is not being attracted to looks but to stuff like personality and sensation. 

I'm a pan oriented aroace

I don't so sexual or romantic attraction but if i ever do have a "crush" on someone it's another form of attraction. 

Make sense?

Yes, thank you!

[Keke They/he]

3 minutes ago, BlueWildRye said:

Yes, thank you!

Anytime  

[Cinnamon]

22 hours ago, BlueWildRye said:

So I haven't really looked into it much but it seems to me that being pan is just the same as being bi but with added attraction towards nonbinaries, is that right or should there be more to it? Because to me, with the root word "pan" meaning "all", it seems like pansexuals should be attracted to, you know, everything. My reasoning behind this is the pan flag which has three bars, one for attraction towards females, one towards males, and one towards nonbinaries. 

Clinically Insane explained it pretty well but being bi usually means you are attracted to multiple genders (not necessarily only men or women e.g nonbinary or genderfluid people, despite the "bi" prefix that may cause some confusion) and someone who is Pan doesn't really see someones gender as even a factor when it comes to them being attracted to them, they could hypothetically be attracted to anyone if they have traits that make them attractive like a great personality etc. 
pretty similar but not identical

[Koloss17 She/They]

Honestly at this point I should go through this thread and tally up how many times the question of pan v bi came up lol. I completely get it, and it is admittedly confusing, but it is funny just how many times the discussion comes back to it.

Edited March 9, 2025 by Koloss17

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

On 3/3/2025 at 4:18 PM, Timiny said:

Hello everyone! I saw this thread and thought: I’m gay (well bi, but same difference) and a distaster, so yeah.

 

Another bi! Welcome

[Entr0pic He/him]

8 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Another bi! Welcome

Thank you

[Keke They/he]

On 3/8/2025 at 7:45 PM, Cinnamon said:

Clinically Insane explained it pretty well but being bi usually means you are attracted to multiple genders (not necessarily only men or women e.g nonbinary or genderfluid people, despite the "bi" prefix that may cause some confusion) and someone who is Pan doesn't really see someones gender as even a factor when it comes to them being attracted to them, they could hypothetically be attracted to anyone if they have traits that make them attractive like a great personality etc. 
pretty similar but not identical

Yep. 

I have been bi and pan at some point in my journey 

On 3/8/2025 at 8:46 PM, Koloss17 said:

Honestly at this point I should go through this thread and tally up how many times the question of pan v bi came up lol. I completely get it, and it is admittedly confusing, but it is funny just how many times the discussion comes back to it.

Tbh for a lil i thought i was bi until i realized pan was a thing then I was like. OOOH I'm not bi I'm pan cause I couldn't care less about gender. 

Then i realized I don't feel much attrction

Heh

AROOOACCEEE

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

So a friend sent me this a while back and it won’t leave my head, so I will now alter how you hear this song

Assuming you know it.

You know who’s gay? Paul, the real estate novelist, who never had time for a wife

And Davey, who’s still in the navy, and probably will be for life

Dude’s just singing in a gay bar and has absolutely no clue

Edited March 10, 2025 by Kaladin Stormcursed

[Keke They/he]

On 3/6/2025 at 1:43 PM, Clinically insane said:

“Essentially” \

so they are

but maybe smol tiny difference

Kk. Not knowing this definitive answer was gonna kill me. 

So this is what I got. @shortcake

Spoiler

Agender people do not identify with any gender. The primary difference between gender apathetic and agender is the word apathy. While gender apathetic people choose not to identify with any particular gender, agender individuals cannot identify with any particular gender.

57 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

So a friend sent me this a while back and it won’t leave my head, so I will now alter how you hear this song

Assuming you know it.

You know who’s gay? Paul, the real estate novelist, who never had time for a wife

And Davey, who’s still in the navy, and probably will be for life

Dude’s just singing in a gay bar and has absolutely no clue

Whats the song?

Edited March 10, 2025 by Clinically insane

[#1 Taln Fan he/him]

7 hours ago, Clinically insane said:

Whats the song?

.... 

kids these days

Piano Man by Billy Joel 

[Keke They/he]

2 minutes ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

.... 

kids these days

Piano Man by Billy Joel 

Oooh

I don't like that song 

[echo74 she/her]

hi guys

 

mini-rant

Spoiler

so my friend came out to me today

over text

and i didn't really know what to say

so i said all the wrong things

and he left me on read

and now i feel really bad

 

anyways i was just wondering

what's the best thing that someone has said to you when you've come out? what's the best reaction you've gotten?

and maybe what can i say to my friend?

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

14 hours ago, Clinically insane said:

Oooh

I don't like that song 

What????

1 minute ago, echo74 said:

hi guys

 

mini-rant

  Reveal hidden contents

so my friend came out to me today

over text

and i didn't really know what to say

so i said all the wrong things

and he left me on read

and now i feel really bad

 

anyways i was just wondering

what's the best thing that someone has said to you when you've come out? what's the best reaction you've gotten?

and maybe what can i say to my friend?

I didn’t really come out so much as was dragged out by my friends, so I don’t have any personal experience to offer

But I would suggest starting by apologizing if necessary, and then just trying to be supportive and asking what they need