Alleyverse Characters

[Darth Woodrack he/him]

Seems reasonable.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Speaking from a scientific perspective, every lizard is a disco lizard.

If this doesn't make sense to you, then you should think about it for about an hour, and you'll get it.

But you gotta spend that hour staying up late, eating candy, and banging your face against walls.

Do you get it now?

[I think I am here. he/him]

1 hour ago, Ookla the Libre said:

Speaking from a scientific perspective, every lizard is a disco lizard.

If this doesn't make sense to you, then you should think about it for about an hour, and you'll get it.

But you gotta spend that hour staying up late, eating candy, and banging your face against walls.

Do you get it now?

Instructions unclear, I accidentally reformed the Shards and became Adoalsium

[old man moomba he/him]

Woops, I accidentally Soulcast the entire planet of Roshar into salsa

[+Sorana she/her]

Salsa...

And we could have had chocolate...

[I think I am here. he/him]

It’s past midnight and I’m sleeping in my jeans so it’s time for Itiah’s Character Tips 201, 10 awesome tips to get your characters on track!

1. Remember the underrated. There are so many underrated powers in the Cosmere it’s insane how everyone sticks to Radiants and Mistborn. I have not yet seen an Alleyverse Nicroburst character, despite it being an awesome power.

2. Go against the odds. Who says you can’t have a legless steelrunner? There are some things you might make that make people go “that’ll be weird as, mate” (like an Atium Ferring for example) but an awesome character is one that goes against the odds. Props to Gancho’s armless Thug, it’s a real shame he hasn’t been used all that much.

3. Find the awesomeness in specialisation. Everyone wants their character to be awesome. The unfortunate thing is that too many people are using the same methods to get there (making their character OP or just have a similar power to everyone else). But specialising is the real awesome. I consider Nekorb to be somewhat awesome but does that make him OP? No. I think Alask is cool with the Shade in his soul but does that make him OP? Not really.

4. Be Creative. Joe is a 3rd Ideal Dustbringer and steel/pewter twinborn. Sound familiar? It’s because everyone does this at some point. If you want a unique character, think uniquely. Bonus points on this section go to Axelius. He has a dog character, for storms sake.

5. Mish and Mash. You will probably get a lot of ideas when making characters. The trick is to combine as many ideas of half-baked characters into one fully-complex character who encompasses what you wanted to include. I have something like 6 one-shot character ideas. I used to have more, but combining them is what ended up in characters such as Max.

6. Loss is good, but better when we see it. I dare you to go to the character sheets and count how many dead-relatives of characters there are. This is a quick and easy way of adding complexity to your character. It also works, and I’m not going against saying how someone has been through hard and hard times and that has made them tough. You know what’s better than saying how your character developed in their History section? Show us. Give them something to lose. A character who’s parents were already dead and is grizzled will had no where near the same emotional resonance as a character who’s parents we’ve seen die on-screen. Props to Silva’s portrayal of Mejin’s family. Mejin has something to lose. She did. We can see her pain. That immediately is better than saying in her History: “Has dead siblings, feels bad.”

7. Names are hard, but good. Your character is known by their name. Make sure it fits them.

8. Bold out your headings on their sheet. A cosmetic thing, but:

Name: Itiah

Age: As old as the sun

Morals: No one exists.

Characters: Rashan, Lusk

Will never look as good as;

Name: Itiah

Age: As old as the sun

Morals: No one exists.

Characters: Rashan, Lusk

Seriously, bolded headings makes everything flow better, look better, and overall make things better. Use them.

9. Last names are important. Even if you don’t use them that much, last names are so very helpful. What if someone wants to refer to your character in respect on their last name? (Eg. Master Sheonar, Master Mentiz) There are just a whole bunch of scenarios where irl you’d use someone’s last name. Just doing a little extra work and adding one more name would be helpful to everybody (unless it’s a part of your characters past or identity, for example, native Rosharan darkeyed don’t have last names.)

10.  You’re character is not always the centre of attention. Nuff’ said.

So, yeah those were Itiah’s Character Tips 202, As you can tell it’s 1 AM and I’m still in my jeans. Please use this tips unless they’re bad.

Have a good night.

Edited December 1, 2018 by Ookla the Guacless

[+Sorana she/her]

Oh wow... that's a lot of good advice!

We definitly have a completely different approach to creating characters. Now I kind of feel bad for simply rolling a dice to determine their investiture so far...

I have to admit I seldom do more than think about a rough outline, and then evolve the character around everything that happens. But with our eras being relatively short I guess I should change that.

[MetaTerminal he/him]

After following your excellent advice, I’d like to introduce you to Jim (no last name), a 3rd Ideal Dustbringer and steel/pewter twinborn. He has dead parents and feels sad about it. Also he has access to every Investiture and likes to be the centre of attention.

[Darth Woodrack he/him]

1 hour ago, Ookla the Guacless said:

1. Remember the underrated. There are so many underrated powers in the Cosmere it’s insane how everyone sticks to Radiants and Mistborn. I have not yet seen an Alleyverse Nicroburst character, despite it being an awesome power.

 

Thel. My new character. Nicroburst.

[little wheel he/him]

On 11/30/2018 at 3:31 PM, Ookla The Clyde said:

Hello. I am working on my disco lizard character and will join soon. Just letting you know.

Glorious.

[old man moomba he/him]

*meanwhile thinking of ways for Dwig to somehow gain more eyes so he can get more eyepatches* Also. I now need a Soulcaster which can cast cheese and salsa.

[+Sorana she/her]

6 hours ago, Ookla the Benefactor said:

I now need a Soulcaster which can cast cheese and salsa.

Ask Althea

[Gancho Libre he/him]

I was about to suggest a joke character someone could make, then I realized that it would be fun for me to do it.

See yall in 17 hours with a character profile!

Edited December 3, 2018 by Ookla the Libre

[Clyde Froggins he/him]

Disco lizard almost done

[Darth Woodrack he/him]

Well, this is the Alleyverse.

[old man moomba he/him]

We out here, ambushing the intro threads with our terrifing wonderful sales pitches.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Here we are! 17 hours later, as promised. @Ookla the Paragon

Now, I was typing this up, then I thought, 'Hey, what if I didn't do this?' So, I gave the job to my in-world NPC organization who lives close enough to the Other Side of the World that they can break the fourth wall and consult me for instructions. So, keep in mind this is not written by me.

Spoiler

---

I have compiled the profile, as you wished, my lord. Unfortunately, there is much we don’t understand about her. I do not think she is subject to the Light, as this is a different kind of weird. However, This character profile should add much more to what we previously had about her. I have provided what we think are the reasons for many of her traits.

Name: Xena Uzasny (Something about this name is strange… but my coworkers are convinced there’s nothing strange about it)

Gender: Female

Age: 17

Investiture: Can hear spelling and grammar (Precedented)

-Smells delicious to dragons (Precedented)

Special Talents: Can play the Oboe (She’s actually really good. Not in any magical sense, but still really good)

-Can throw herself at the ground and miss (Not that she’s able to fly, of course. Her subconscious subtly alters her balance in such a way that when she does throw herself at the ground, she instead hits a nearby wall or tree)

-She is also able to eat stick dynamite without exploding; she only gets stomach aches (... yeah, this is definitely one of those things we can’t explain. To test, we slipped some non-lethal poisons into her food. Her stomach is as vulnerable as any. But we have several eye-witness claims that she had eaten stick dynamite and survived, even after, somehow, it goes off indie her stomach. Strange)

-Can dance really well, which is surprising because of one of the items below (Again, she’s just an ordinarily good dancer. Likely not magic-related at all)

Appearance: Kinda shaped like an oboe (Funny how that works)

-Her face makes her look young and innocent to the point of ridiculous underestimation (?!) (Tested and proved. Her face is the perfect combination of traits that people literally underestimate her. Interestingly, this is counteracted if you look at her through sunglasses. We will need to study further on this)

-Really likes cutting off the dress part of havahs and wearing the tops with pants (It actually looks really good on her. She has good fashion sense)

-Oh, also, she literally has two left feet. (This is the strangest of all. During one of my first expeditions, I noticed she wore two left shoes. Upon further review, we can confidently say that both of her feet are lefties. Unlike what the common idiom suggests, despite this she is still a talented dancer)

Quirks: Gerbil snorts AND skips ahead to the last page in books (Disgusting. I have to force myself to leave before I start yelling at her. I mean, Gerbil Snorting is bad enough. But skipping pages? Sinful. She’s lucky she doesn’t wear mismatched socks, or I’d strangle her laughing)

Psychosis: A type of mild paranoia where she frequently imagines mistakes she could make that would lead to her death; keep in mind this is not like Aviar, and is limited by her imagination; it doesn’t cause fear, per se, but she can’t really control it. This dysfunction can’t tell the future, and most of the ‘deaths’ she imagines are quite far-fetched. (So far as we have observed, this is more of a distraction than a strength. She has an overactive imagination, one that works against her here)

-Whenever she feels self-conscious, she mumbles the word ‘potato’ over and over (Yup. This is confirmed. We doubt it’s a magic thing. Most likely just a habit. Related to her history somehow?)

Emotional Stability: General stable, but if anyone mentions the word ‘cockapoo’ she breaks down into hysterics (Apparently, she had a bad experience with a cockapoo when she was younger. Unfortunately, this is about the juiciest piece of information on her history we have)

Items: Oboe, with an atomic-explosion proof case (I don’t know why she has one for the oboe and not for herself)

-Several cans of dragon-repellent (Which she uses on herself, not the dragons. As far as we know, it doesn't work that way. However, the alleyverse has very a very small dragon population)

-A potato (She seems to have a thing for potatoes)

-A Herdazian Rhyming Dictionary (Upon seeing that she has one, I went out to the market to find one myself. And guess what? No such thing exists! Who is this woman?)

-A cool rock (She’s convinced it holds “Sandlight”. She’s obviously not completely cosmere aware)

-A Crystallian handbag (Where she puts all this stuff. They’re expensive on the market. I wonder how she got it?)

-And, of course, a Type IV awakened action figure that looks like a Potato. It's command is to “Pretend to be the real potato” (Why anyone made a potato action figure is beyond me)

History: ??? (We don’t know. We’re certain she hasn't visited the Nightwatcher or the Light… but… something strange is definitely going on with her)

 

Edited December 5, 2018 by Ookla the Libre

[Archer he/him]

I can't decide if Klo is going to love Xena or treat her like an older sister who brought baby photos of him to his party. 

[Clyde Froggins he/him]

Disco lizard man

Spoiler

Name: Walter "Wally" Skido

Sex: Male

 

Age: 47 (but looks 24)

 

Powers: He is an epic that has the ability to turn into a lizard person once a millenium, and he gains powers, such as incredibly slow aging, and when he makes a finger gun he fires a laser out of his fingers that makes people dance until they pass out, and he doesn't need to breath.

 

Appearance: He is a green lizard man who is 6’ tall with a black afro. He is wearing a sky blue V-neck shirt, a white overcoat with a popped collar, white bell bottomed pants, and sky blue platform shoes.

 

Weapons: A boombox with a volume knob when turned all the way up, temporarily deafens people.

 

Weaknesses: He is literally cold blooded.

 

Biography: Walter Skido (or Wally as he proffers) was born in a small town located underground called, Mallfor. His family was middle class and he went to a decent school, and when he was 14 he discovered disco. After he discovered disco he was immediately obsessed with it and after graduating college with a Phd in audio engineering he decided to move to the surface world to dance disco with the best. Unfortunately for him he didn’t realize disco had been dead for decades so he decided to bring it back by wondering the streets with a boombox that can deafen people. One day while he was walking around he spontaneously turned into lizard person & gained his powers. The End

 

[Darth Woodrack he/him]

I mean, it could work. Also, Archer, don't take out Thel from my list yet. He still exists, he is just an epic, not an alien. I'll have it to you by friday.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Thanks Archer!

[Archer he/him]

3 hours ago, Ookla the Libre said:

Thanks Archer!

No problem!

4 hours ago, Darth Ookla said:

I mean, it could work. Also, Archer, don't take out Thel from my list yet. He still exists, he is just an epic, not an alien. I'll have it to you by friday.

Okay. 

5 hours ago, Ookla The Clyde said:

Disco lizard man

Added. Just remind me to change your name on the list after ookla season ends. 

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Hey Archer, it's me again.

My beaver just died. Poor George.

Didn't even get a proper burial. So sad.

*Wipes eyes*

Can you put that George is dead on his bio please?

[CitCat he/him]

Name: Hammond Smedry

Species: Gerbil Rights Activist

Weapons: Protester signs, Bag of Infinite Teddy Bear Grenades (Made out of a flexible glass that multiplies all objects inside it.)

Family: Smedry

Talent: Anger Management (The angrier he gets, the bigger he gets. The calmer he is, the smaller he gets)

Weakness: Can only speak gerbil. Can write and understand english. Can only throw teddy grenades when he is > 1ft.

History: Lived with a Mokian but got away. Saw people gerbil snorting and started a protesting group. Was put in a pet shop by Hushlanders and then taken by WorldHoppers to the Alleyverse.

Special ability: When in life threating danger he can call his group of protesting gerbils.

Physical Appearance: Cute. Tan colored. Wears a "Stop gerbil snorting" shirt. Has a 7 foot tall sign that says "ALL GERBIL SNORTERS WILL DIE!".

[little wheel he/him]

Just now, GodofAnime said:

Hammond, the best Overwatch Hero

Thank you.