Tournament: Cosmere Character Roast Battles

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

3 hours ago, AceBassMan said:

I was hoping Szeth would visit, but am perfectly happy to challenge you 

I dunno if I’m feeling up for coming up with a roast kinda thing right now - I have my 8th grade graduamation tomorrow. Possibly sometime in the next month I will be up for it though

[AceBassMan]

Congraduamations!

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

1 hour ago, AceBassMan said:

Congraduamations!

Thankama you!

[Frustration]

Alright @AceBassMan I'm willing to go as Szeth.

[AceBassMan]

Most excellent, the customary 48 hours or fire at will?

[Frustration]

51 minutes ago, AceBassMan said:

Most excellent, the customary 48 hours or fire at will?

I'm fine with whatever, I will need a little time for a good one but not a lot.

[AceBassMan]

Harmony is now ready:

RoW

Spoiler

*mist rises from the ground, obscuring everything further than one's own nose, until the world seems submerged in a grey sea. A calm voice pervades the cloud.

Obedient assassin
the corpses you're amassin'
they cry out in their passin'
but then their voices last in
your mind to start harrassin'
it makes your soul unfasten
yes you could teach a class in
how to commit a mass sin
your stone is not for castin'
your next plan is surpassin'
your record in a fashion
discovering a passion
for ethical morass in 
your quest to be the last Shin
so pardon my lambastin'
but you could use a lashin'

 

[Frustration]

Szeth blinks

Spoiler

That's It? That's your best roast?

Then if I start trying you're going to be toast

You just aren't worth the effort though because next to me

you're the biggest loser in history.

 

Imagine having someone like Wax as your sword

Nightblood and me are starting to get bored.

 

One woman died, and you lost all your faith

I've dealt with worse without becoming a wraith.

 

Honestly this win is so easy I can't even revel,

get good and come back when you're on my level.

 

Edited June 18, 2021 by Frustration
Spelling and contractions

[AceBassMan]

"Imagine having someone like Wax as your sword"

Beautiful with your Nightblood comparison *thumbs up*

[+CallsignZen she/her]

3 hours ago, Frustration said:

Szeth blinks

  Hide contents

That's It? That's your best roast?

Then if I start trying you're going to be toast

You just aren't worth the effort though because next to me

you're the biggest loser in history.

 

Imagine having someone like Wax as your sword

Nightblood and me are starting to get board.

 

One woman died, and you lost all your faith

I've dealt with worse without becoming a wraith.

 

Honestly this win is so easy I can't even revel,

get good and come back when you are on my level.

 

daaaaaang

[AonEne he/him]

On 6/17/2021 at 1:43 PM, AceBassMan said:

Harmony is now ready

I love your style of writing the raps! Great rhythm

[AceBassMan]

3 hours ago, AonEne said:

I love your style of writing the raps! Great rhythm

Many thanks! I really enjoyed trying to match a single rhyme and line length, like a puzzle.

[Szeth's Facepalm]

Is this still active? Because it seems EPIC and I'd love to join next round

 

(Harmony and Szeth: epics raps btw)

Edited September 1, 2021 by Szeth's Facepalm

[Frustration]

1 hour ago, Szeth's Facepalm said:

Is this still active? Because it seems EPIC and I'd love to join next round

 

(Harmony and Szeth: epics raps btw)

Why thank you.

And yes we can do more.

I'm sorry for my neglect but I've been swamped this summer.

[Frustration]

Alright who else wants in?

[Szeth's Facepalm]

Can i be Raoden btw? I'm gonna make so many dor puns lol

[Shard of Reading he/him]

1 hour ago, Frustration said:

Alright who else wants in?

I'll do it. Character to come later

[The Unknown Medallion he/him]

I could do it as... Talenelat.

[Frustration]

Alright, just you three or anyone else?

[Shard of Reading he/him]

1 hour ago, Frustration said:

Alright, just you three or anyone else?

We can do this when ever. I'll go as the lopen.

[AceBassMan]

You storms of the father, I'm in! If we have 4 for a tourney or however

[Frustration]

Alright that should be enough time I hope.

We'll start with

Lopen vs Taln

And we'll see how @Szeth's Facepalm is doing after that.

@The Unknown Order @Shard of Reading

[Szeth's Facepalm]

On 9/11/2021 at 2:08 PM, AceBassMan said:

You storms of the father, I'm in!

 @AceBassMan which character are you playing?

[Shard of Reading he/him]

Lopen vs. Taln, commencing now!

Note: No rhyme scheme. I'm not very good at rhyming so just roll with it please.

Spoiler

*Lopen flies in through an window, and lands on the stage*

Hello, Ganchos, I'm sorry I'm late, I got distracted admiring my second arm in the mirror

I'm here to roast Taln, so this should be quick

He makes the ten fools look like a bunch of big-brained scholars

Sure, he withstood millineum of tourture, all by himself,

but look at this, he can't compete with the awesomeness of my 2 armed herdazain-ness.

And really, in hindsight, was all that torture worth it?

At the end of the day, you still stole the land from the singers.

You claim to embody honor (Out of context: Okay, maybe he didn't but roll with it) but you still do that.

Can you explain yourself Gancho?

Hey, listen I'm sorry, I really do respect you.

But it's hard to keep from laughing when all you do is ramble about the coming desolation.

*With that, the Lopen turns to leave but, he trips. Apparently he lashed his foot to the floor*

Okay, this isn't my best roast, but I wrote it in like 15 minutes when I was supposed to be doing my homework.

@The Unknown Order I eagerly await your response.

Edited September 22, 2021 by Shard of Reading

[AceBassMan]

On 9/19/2021 at 9:52 PM, Szeth's Facepalm said:

 @AceBassMan which character are you playing?

The Stormfather  

Great job Lopen!