The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Jaywalk he/him]

And became determined to rid the world of corn dogs.

[John Flamesinger he/him]

The Corn Dogs Trembled in fear and got into a glass space- station

[Jaywalk he/him]

A radio station that played only Blank Space by Taylor Swift.

[John Flamesinger he/him]

Horrified, they clambered out of the space- station and fled to Mars.

[Jaywalk he/him]

But Jupiter was too tempting with the drops in her hair.

[John Flamesinger he/him]

So they went to Jupiter, only to discover the Jovian Concord.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Jupiter blew up. And then the Hemalurgically Spiked Beavers descended.

[John Flamesinger he/him]

But behold: The Corn Dogs were Strong.

[BringerofShadows she/her]

But not strong with the Force. 

[John Flamesinger he/him]

And this made them cry.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Tears of ketchup and mustard

[John Flamesinger he/him]

And it was tasty.

[BringerofShadows she/her]

But they were slightly salty, so some private French Tax collectors put a tax on crying.

Edited July 12, 2019 by Inklingspren

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

This, unfortunately, made them cry even harder.

[Rosharan A.C. he/him]

Eventually they began an armed protest in order to make the private French Tax collectors remove their tax.

[Silva]

When it didn't work, they tried an unarmed protest.

[John Flamesinger he/him]

But that didn't work either.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Instead, they tried an arm protest, in which they used their arms to remove the taxes. It was very successful.

[Silva]

No one was quite sure why though.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

The French Tax Collectors handed over victory to the corn dogs.

[John Flamesinger he/him]

And John Flamesinger groaned at the horrible pun.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Some would say I’m punbearable. The wise ones say I’m punstoppable. Me though, I say I’m the Punisher.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

That's so bad it deserves an upvote. 

[John Flamesinger he/him]

Don't encourage him.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Spoiler

Did you guys hear about the guy that drove into a ditch? It went downhill from there.

Have any of you guys heard the joke about the pizza? Never mind; it’s too cheesy.

How about the joke about the broken pencil? Well that one’s pointless.

A blind man was swinging around his dog when a police officer walked up to him. “What are you doing?” The police officer asked. 
“Oh, just taking a look around,” the blind man said.

Did you hear about the chef that died? He pasta way.

The old lady at the bank asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I had to take away his bike.

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.

When you look at mirrors really closely, they all look like eyeballs.

A woman walks into the library and asks if there are any books on paranoia. “Look behind you,” the librarian said.

My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down. 

I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.

I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

A blind man walked into a bar. And a chair. And a table.

Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. 

As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.

What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You may think it’s “R”, but his heart be at “C”.

Too late