The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Just now, I am a stick!!!!!!!!!!!!!! said:

Uno reverse card! Everything goes back in time!

Really? Star has made some major character development, I'm not letting you undo that.

Edited May 17, 2019 by Shard of Thought

[+Doomstick he/him]

By one second

Quote

 

[Lunamor she/her]

Narrator Lunamor played another reverse card, restoring things back.

Edit: Ninja’d 

Edited May 17, 2019 by Lunamor

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Just now, Lunamor said:

Narrator Lunamor played another reverse card, restoring things back.

I will literally kill you. Do you really want to do this? 

Edit: Wait, it was a ninja. Nevermind. You're good, Luna!

Edited May 17, 2019 by Shard of Thought

[+Doomstick he/him]

Just now, Shard of Thought said:

I will literally kill you. Do you really want to do this? 

He meant back to normal 

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Yeah, I just realized that. THE POWER OF EDITS!

[+Doomstick he/him]

Where should I start reading?

[Lunamor she/her]

2 minutes ago, Shard of Thought said:

Yeah, I just realized that. THE POWER OF EDITS!

BY THE POWER OF EDITS

I HAVE THE POWEEEEEEER

(Sorry, couldn’t resist)

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Just now, I am a stick!!!!!!!!!!!!!! said:

Where should I start reading?

Depends. Did you see Shadow and I fight to the death?

[+Doomstick he/him]

1 minute ago, Shard of Thought said:

Depends. Did you see Shadow and I fight to the death?

Huh?

you mean the big fight?

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Just now, I am a stick!!!!!!!!!!!!!! said:

Huh?

you mean the big fight?

I guess so, yeah. We decided to turn mortal so we could actually kill each other. I won by the way. 

[+Doomstick he/him]

Just now, Shard of Thought said:

I guess so, yeah. We decided to turn mortal so we could actually kill each other. I won by the way. 

Huh?

[xinoehp512 he/him]

14 minutes ago, Shard of Thought said:

"I. Am. Not. A villain."

Clearly you don't know, then. Perhaps I should enlighten you.

He raised his hand above his head and snapped.

Mimes began to appear all over the field, each one carrying a small, glimmering cube.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

1 minute ago, I am a stick!!!!!!!!!!!!!! said:

Huh?

Ah, just start on page 540 and skim until Butt Ascends.

[Lunamor she/her]

1 minute ago, xinoehp512 said:

Clearly you don't know, then. Perhaps I should enlighten you.

He raised his hand above his head and snapped.

Mimes began to appear all over the field, each one carrying a small, glimmering cube.

“WHERE DID THEY GET SO MANY TESSERACTS” screamed a very confused Narrator Lunamor from a distance.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

1 minute ago, xinoehp512 said:

Clearly you don't know, then. Perhaps I should enlighten you.

He raised his hand above his head and snapped.

Mimes began to appear all over the field, each one carrying a small, glimmering cube.

Star felt her heart began to beat quickly. "Narrativium..." she whispered. "But why would they be... evil?"

[Turtle373 he/him]

Turtle continued to eat his very very buttery popcorn and watched the mimes.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Well, that didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would. Then again, I procrastinated math homework for this. Enjoy my essay about Star's character proression.

 

 

 

 

 

 

5

Spoiler

Foreword: Ask anyone on my track team and they can tell you that when I say “paper” or “essay” and when I’m writing it of my own accord, it means that it will be super informal, but full of some pretty cool ideas. Good writing is from the heart.

Star is significantly different from any other Narrator on TLT because she’s actually more character than Narrator. When she first started out she was like any other Narrator; the Sharder’s consciousness, with a name put to it, tagged with “Narrator” at the beginning. But then, after Narrating for a while, she realized how much control she really had over the story and began to experiment. It was clear to me from the beginning that she wanted to be in control of the plot. As soon as she realized that she could insert herself into the story - when she married Marsh - she started to become a different entity than me, shaped by her experiences. Even now, we still share many traits, but she understands power and brokenness much differently than I do. She has been forced to take a hard look in the mirror and she has risen above herself. Of course, before that happened, she had to fall. A lot.

One of the reasons that she decided to marry Marsh is because I didn’t want him to get hurt and I knew that I needed to protect him from the other Narrators. Star wasn’t a fool; she knew that if she was powerful, then so were all the other Narrators. They could rip apart her little world and she wouldn’t allow that to happen. She built up a lot of feeling during that time, a lot of protectiveness. (which didn't help when she broke and it all bled from her cracks) But I definitely think that when Marsh was captured, she overestimated herself.

Star decided to turn into Thought to save Marsh because she assumed the Shard would make her even more powerful. (which, now we both realize is not true in the least) We know, of course, that this turned out horribly wrong. Thought’s Shard was stolen by Calamity and her overpowering emotions edged out Star’s own, making her virtually powerless. Looking back on it, I could have Narrated myself out of that situation at any time, but I didn’t. I always try to stay true to my characters no matter what. Star, Thought, and I are separate, but we can overlap sometimes and interact in very interesting ways. I think it would be fun to have Star eventually meet me. Xino actually has something similar. Tom, Pheonix, Xino, and the Master of Silence are all his characters and sometimes the latter three will refer to Xino proper as their “Author” which I just think is the coolest thing ever. When I consider the awkward romance between Star and Pheonix, I honestly just see it as another two characters who are just doing what they do.

I think getting tortured by Marsh really started to break Star down. When I wrote a narrative version of that moment, I did it from Thought’s perspective, but she can still hear Star’s thoughts and feel her feelings. Things like, “I don’t want to be saved, Star whispered in Thought’s mind. Just kill me now.” By the end, she’s completely let go, having surrendered her mind - and the considerable emotional burden - to Thought.

When Thought and Star split again, Thought is obviously traumatized, but Star isn’t as forthcoming. She pretends she’s fine when in reality she’s starting to really break apart. Now, Star was just my character. Similar to me, but distinctly different. It was a very hard decision for her to wish away her children. Unlike divorcing Marsh, that one was completely untainted by Thought. Star was simply in too much pain to bear anything else.

And then she tried to get Marsh back. By this point, she was just angry with everything. She wanted to leap through impossible hoops and get him back, put everything she had broken back together, but everything was against her. The other Narrators wanted a story and she became their entertainment. By pushing her down every time she made progress. She felt like a failure who didn’t deserve her power, but rather than giving up, she turned her shame into simmering anger. Anger that burst when Marsh killed himself. She had put her heart and soul into rescuing him and she had failed. I myself am a Windrunner, so I felt the effects very hard. There was real emotion on my part that helped spark the flame that created Astral.

Astral is so interesting to me. She’s utterly… unfeeling. Honestly, I think Star created her as a vessel to drown her emotion in. Instead, she only trapped it. On the Queen of Shadows thread, Astral herself is one of the first Narrators to give herself up to the Master of Silence. (That failure is one reason that Star has so much fearful respect for him. Standing up to him was hard, even with the new confidence she had gained.) She tries so hard to feel something while fighting the shadow monsters, but just can’t manage it. It was a difficult choice to come back to TLT. Star was rather ashamed and very scared that everyone would hate her. She made the mistake of shoving her emotion down again though and soon enough she started to boil over.

It’s important to understand that at this point, Star truly believes that she is a villain and is incapable of being anything else. And if she can’t be anything else, then why try and hide it? After hurting so many people, she starts feeling like she has nothing left to lose and decides to take over the entire thread. She’s feeling a little suicidal and she knows that she can’t win. She’s also a little bit crazy as you can tell by her monologue toward the end. “‘Why do you hate me?’ Star forced out, trembling. ‘This entire thread hates me!’ She went deathly calm. ‘But you know what the beauty of it is? Do you know, Jay?’ She cackled. ‘I’m a Narrator! You cannot kill me, nor will you ever be able to! So you can keep me here for as long as you want, hurt me forever and ever, try and try to keep my mouth shut but I will always be here. Here, I am a force, like time itself. You can't destroy time. So now you have a choice. How are you going to contain me? How will you keep me at bay? How, darling, will you stop the monster you created by never stepping in? Oh, I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you! YOU CAN’T!’ Star burst into guttural throes of maniacal laughter. She had won by simply existing. They couldn't do a thing.”

Pheonix really is her saving grace. She says she’ll never stop fighting, but in all reality, she’s tired. She’s given up and deep inside of her, she expects Jay and the other Narrators to imprison her for what she’s done. She expects to be accused. She expects to be killed. “I can't forgive myself. I can't stop hurting people. I don't want to wake up. I deserve this,” she said. His words - and Snipexe’s too - make all the difference because they’re genuine and if he believes in her, then who knows?

It was very, very merciful of Jay to let her see Marsh. It not only allowed her to reconcile with her husband, but it made her realize that the Narrators really did accept her and would forgive her. But Narrator Shadow began to test that. Star really began to use her powers for what she believed in and that made her confident in herself. Still not quite enough to convince herself that she wasn’t evil. Killing Shadow was a major triumph, but what really made Star rise was her recent confrontation with Butt.

It’s crazy that she predicted this not too long ago. “One day, all of this is going to hang in the balance. Something will go wrong and Fate will be furious with us all. It'll be our punishment for taking this little sector and doing what we've done.” She was scared, but like all heroes, she was the one who stepped forward and fixed the problem in the way no one else could. By touching his mind and understanding him. And now we have a weird love triangle. I don’t think Butt could really understand her though and Star doesn’t quite know how she feels about Pheonix yet. It’s an odd situation. One that I hope will resolve itself with Star finally just pulling her fiery companion over and giving him true love’s kiss. Sure worked with AJ.

It’s been interesting to see how much she’s bloomed. Her confidence is unmatched and I can tell she has an iron will as well. Marsh would be so proud of her. She’s really become something of a queen. The real Herald of the Stars, worthy of her crown and spear. I can only wonder what she has in store for us...

 

[BringerofShadows she/her]

I am sad. 

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Just now, BringerofShadows said:

I am sad. 

Why?

[BringerofShadows she/her]

Because I’m not involved!

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Just now, BringerofShadows said:

Because I’m not involved!

In the story? Can't you still be a marionette?

[Lunamor she/her]

Just now, BringerofShadows said:

Because I’m not involved!

You were mentioned, I think.

Edit: Oh, I thought you meant with the essay.

Edited May 17, 2019 by Lunamor

[BringerofShadows she/her]

Yeah, but it’s not really working.

[Zephrun’s Imperium they/he]

Just now, BringerofShadows said:

Yeah, but it’s not really working.

Maybe you need to change your approach.