The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Nerd3.14159265358979 he/him]

Understandable, Butt Venture was also rather annoyed at his parents.

[Rebecca she/her]

So Butt had murdered his parents as a youth, which was why Uncle Brandy found him so promising.

[Nerd3.14159265358979 he/him]

And, though Butt had killed his parents, he was still much less of a Butt than Straff. Because, objectively speaking, not even Odium is as bad as Straff.

[Apollyon he/him]

Odium nods in approval, for he found Straff's presence drew him to nearly Splinter himself.

[Yvainnie she/her]

Butt also has a pet which he has not killed yet.

Edited April 27, 2018 by Yvainnie

[Kidpen he/him]

This pets name was Gluteus.

[Apollyon he/him]

His pet preferred to be called Maximus though.

[Rebecca she/her]

Gluteus, aka Maximus, was a boa constrictor, and very much enjoyed eating guinea pigs.

[Apollyon he/him]

But the guinea pigs also enjoyed being eaten, so you could say they had a sym-butt-otic relationship.

[Kidpen he/him]

I would like to apologize for that horrible potty humor and I promise it will never happen again.

"Farting, barf faced poop!" Butt said.

Sigh.

[+ElephantEarwax he/him]

Guys lets stay from the crudity.  I've gotta laugh though Kidpen

The snake had green and white stripes going long ways.

 

Edited April 27, 2018 by ElephantEarwax

[Weedolfin she/her]

This story has majorly digressed.

One day Maximus was enjoying a guinea pig dinner when the unexpected happened. Somehow a powerfull-venomous-shapeshifting-grasshopper (named Mr. Mister, Mr for short) made his way into Maximus' deep fried guinea pig platter. After Mr. Mister was swallowed whole by Maximus, Mr devoured Maximus from the inside, and shapeshifted into Maximus' form (out of fear of punishment for killing him), and took his place as Butt's pet.

[Snipexe he/him]

Butt was smart enough to figure it out, but he didn’t care, the only thing Butt Venture wants is revenge.

[Apollyon he/him]

Butt planned to assassinate Uncle Brandy with a thorough dosage of vodka, due to his preferences.

[Snipexe he/him]

How ever, Butt was not aware of Uncle Brandy’s secret power...an artificial liver. No matter how much Vodka Butt fed to Brandy, the Assasination was never succesfull

[Leyrann]

So Butt got out a funnel and forcibly poured liters and liters of vodka down Uncle Brandy's throat, but he did not die.

[Apollyon he/him]

Even though Brandy could not be killed by it, he was still thoroughly drunk. His artificial liver had a strange reaction to all of the alcohol that was quite... unpredictable.

Edited April 28, 2018 by Apollyon

[Snipexe he/him]

Uncle Brandy’s demands for more episodes of MLP became louder, the more Vodka he drank. Soon Butt became concerned....what was the MLP, and why was his Uncle so obsessed.

[Kidpen he/him]

Is it weird that I was just trying to watch MLP, but it wouldn't load?

Butt tried to cut off Brandy from the Vodka.

Best sentence ever.

[Elenion he/him]

He tried everything--hiding it in the attic, throwing it away, filling the bottles with water--but it was no use.

[Yvainnie she/her]

So Butt took his Gluteus Maximus, gently petted him and scratched him and took Brandy by his Vodka. 

Edited April 28, 2018 by Yvainnie

[I think I am here. he/him]

Then, pineapples.

[Snipexe he/him]

Beautiful glorious pineapples!

[Apollyon he/him]

Was the thing Uncle Brandy said in his drunken stupor. Brandy eventually managed to pull MLP from an alternate universe and watch it all day, becoming an extremely addicted Bronie.

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

This proved Brandy was growing in strength. Butt began to fear.