The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Lunamor she/her]

There were only two of them, Major Major and Major.

Major is a strange word if you think about it.

Edited June 21, 2019 by Lunamor

[Silva]

Minor and Minor Minor were minor cities. Minor cities were populated by miners.

[Lunamor she/her]

And people under the age of 18.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Moderate and Moderate Moderate were full of middle aged people, which turned out to be pretty hectic, as they were all having mid-life crises at the same time.

[BringerofShadows she/her]

Then there was Gen Z and Millennial Land, where there was lots of Fortnite and complaining. 

[Lunamor she/her]

And dabbing and drinking Starbucks.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Dying of cringe was common there

[BringerofShadows she/her]

But house and childcare costs were ballooning, tuition got pricey, jobs are paying less, cars are also expensive, and the baby boomers are laughing at you as you work at multiple jobs to provide for yourself and your bills.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Twas a tough world to live in

[Lunamor she/her]

Unless you were the owner of a fortune telling goat that had a long beard and resided on a stump.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

He was filthy rich

[Lunamor she/her]

In knowledge.

 

And also money (as a result of that knowledge).

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

All Rosharan hated him though

[Lunamor she/her]

Cause they were jealous of him. Not of his knowledge. Not of his money. Not of his mind bending ability to count to 103857829184 in .103857829184 seconds. Not of his sweet backflips. Not of his perfect sense of humor. Not of his amazing writing skills. Not of his ability to not believe it’s not butter. Not of his ability to make Kaladin happy. Not of his talent in baking delicious, spike free cookies. Not of his ability to out-stubborn Kelsier. Not of his ability to mention Voidapple without being completely and totally obliterated by Voidus. Not even of his elegant mustache.

They were jealous of the fact that he had a type of beard that went perfectly with his name for the purpose of creating puns. They were jealous of the fact that he was a goat with a goatee.

[Rosharan A.C. he/him]

They were SO jealous in fact, that they decided to start shooting each other to give themselves bangs.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

The goatee was perfect, and not even the bangs could compare

[Lunamor she/her]

So they decided to grow mustaches and start informing people that they simply must ask questions.

[Jaywalk he/him]

They were unsuccessful, due to their supreme incompetence.

[Archer he/him]

Technically, it was mostly the afromentioned goat's fault, but let's not split hairs here. They were successful in drawing the attention of local law enforcement, but that was a short lived predicament because, through the use of some Rapunzel-style lassoing, they were able to narrowly escape arrest. (It was a rather close shave.)

[Jaywalk he/him]

They couldn’t dodge the tear gas though.

[Lunamor she/her]

So all of their papers got all torn up.

[Jaywalk he/him]

And they all got covered in paper cuts.

[Lunamor she/her]

That day became known throughout history as “The Great Slicing”.

[Ookla-son-son-Ventyl]

Then got changed to “The Not So Great Slicing” as it became a major political incident.

[Jaywalk he/him]

It was celebrated every 18 years.