The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Kidpen he/him]

So Unhappy was unhappy.

[Ink he/him]

Kidpen had a good use of tautology. Of course Unhappy was Unhappy.

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

Unhappy had regained his identity, which made him happy. But now Unhappy was Happy, which meant he had lost his identity, making him Unhappy again. Which restored his identity making him Happy again. Which made him lose his identity. And then half the universe exploded from the paradox.

[Kidpen he/him]

The other half was Chaotic instead of Lawful. 

[Silva]

History notes written in a tiny scrawl in college ruled 70 page notebooks on everything from the Norse to Zheng He fall on everyone because that’s all Silva can think about right now. Everyone falls asleep from boredom.

[Ink he/him]

Except that one kid. 

You know who I'm talking about. There is almost always one.

[Silva]

That kid was grinning until he tripped over some people.

For a history teacher, mine’s pretty good, but...

And yes. That kid. *Cosmere curses best friend’s name under breath*

[Ink he/him]

There was an imprint of a nerd face on the ground where he fell.

[Silva]

Nobody cheered because they were asleep.

[Ink he/him]

Suddenly, all the cats in the world decided to sit on the humans' faces.

I hate when the cat does that at 6 in the morning on a saturday...

[Silva]

Some humans had multiple cats on their faces.

That’s the one perk of family members with allergies.

[Ink he/him]

I am the one with allergies. I just am (kinda) used to it.

Some were large cats, such as lions and panthers. Black Panther sat on someone's face, too.

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

Unfortunately, he had sat on Odium's face. And Odium hated cats. Well, he hated everything, but that included cats. Especially big humanoid black cats.

[BitBitio he/him]

Arnold sat there too, even though he was a non sentient toy piglet who could burn aluminum, Awaken, and draw PAons on faces.

In fact, it looked something like this.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

The Black Panther sat on Arnold's face. That made Odium Happy.

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

Then the face-sitting business stopped when the Grandmaster threatened to pardon all the face-sitters from life.

[Ink he/him]

But since the face-sitters were cats, they either fell asleep or angrily growled at the grandmaster. 

[Kidpen he/him]

The Grandmaster was so overwhelmed by the cuteness that he let them go free.

[Borio Singaldi he/him]

Then a dozen thermonukes hit them.

[Ink he/him]

Killing both the cats and the humans. Dogs, however, survived.

[+Ark1002]

Then all the dogs unzipped there suits, and cats came out. They dragged the dog bodies into the open.

[Silva]

Where they transformed into rainbow glitter.

The thread was getting too dark.

[Kidpen he/him]

A mystery for the ages. But one that detective Stereotype would solve!

[Ink he/him]

He knew that nukes probably came from bad guys, and bad guys who hated cats were dog people.

[+Ark1002]

So all the dog people died, and Stereotype failed.