NerdyAarakocra They/Them Posted January 23, 2023 Posted January 23, 2023 The polpars were all in the back, which was dreadfully boring.
Bird Furious she/her/un/important Posted January 23, 2023 Posted January 23, 2023 A chipmunk was longing for chocolate, and so searched for gold to trade for chocolate.
NerdyAarakocra They/Them Posted January 23, 2023 Posted January 23, 2023 He ended up with gelt (chocolate coins that are given out as part of Hanukkah), which meant that he could cut out the middleman.
NameIess Posted January 23, 2023 Posted January 23, 2023 Now he could eat all the gold foil he wanted!
ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them Posted January 23, 2023 Posted January 23, 2023 (edited) Until he died, that is. You see, most gold coin foil was made of a mercury/titanium alloy, giving it maximum toxicity while maintaining its shape. Edited January 23, 2023 by Sequence
NameIess Posted January 23, 2023 Posted January 23, 2023 (edited) This was part of a shockingly effective marketing tactic that no one quite knew the origins of. Edited January 23, 2023 by UnfortunatelyNamed
ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them Posted January 23, 2023 Posted January 23, 2023 Shockingly effective in killing people without giving the company liability. You see, Golden Coin foil was so delicious, most people simply ate it and hoped for the best.They signed a waiver too, of course.
The Bookwyrm he/him Posted January 23, 2023 Posted January 23, 2023 One of the Golden Coin Foil eaters turned out to be an allomancer. A Mistborn, specifically.
ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them Posted January 23, 2023 Posted January 23, 2023 Unfortunately, titanium and mercury couldn't be burned for abilities.
NameIess Posted January 23, 2023 Posted January 23, 2023 (edited) Fortunately, her family managed to successfully sue the company for passing off dangerous metals as allomantically viable alloys. Edited January 23, 2023 by UnfortunatelyNamed
ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them Posted January 23, 2023 Posted January 23, 2023 Unfortunately, the lawsuit was for about $15.
EmulatonStromenkiin he/him Posted January 23, 2023 Posted January 23, 2023 and three Hemalurgic spikes.
ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them Posted January 23, 2023 Posted January 23, 2023 (edited) Which were very weakly imbued with the power of a Duralumin Gnat. Edited January 23, 2023 by Sequence
The Bookwyrm he/him Posted January 23, 2023 Posted January 23, 2023 Unbeknownst to anyone, those three spikes and their power were coveted by a very powerful being.
EmulatonStromenkiin he/him Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 There was also a Gold compounder who wanted them.
Wittles he/him Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 Who was named Kilometers fiftylives (I'm sorry for that incredibly stupid joke) 1
ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 Kilometers Fiftylives was down to his last fifteen or so lives, sadly.
NameIess Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 But he had a buyer who’d pay him ten lives for just one of those spikes.
The Bookwyrm he/him Posted January 24, 2023 Posted January 24, 2023 And he was really scared of dying. Who knew what the afterlife would be like with Narrators in charge. So he would do anything to get one of the spikes, even if it meant sacrificing millions of lives.
NameIess Posted January 25, 2023 Posted January 25, 2023 And so both hunters set out to steal the spikes from their new owners.
The Bookwyrm he/him Posted January 25, 2023 Posted January 25, 2023 (edited) @TheGreatSnail Come join this insanity. The first of these owners was a Bilbo Baggins impersonator who lived in a very extravagant hobbit hole. The infiltration plan involved digging another hobbit hole that "accidentally" connected to the Fake Bilbo's hole, stealing the spike, then leaving. Edited January 25, 2023 by The Bookwyrm
The Wandering Wizard he/him Posted January 25, 2023 Posted January 25, 2023 The second owner was the third little pig.
NameIess Posted January 25, 2023 Posted January 25, 2023 His house presented a problem, as digging a hole would be impossible.
ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them Posted January 25, 2023 Posted January 25, 2023 Blowing a hole open with dynamite, however, had a promising chance of success.
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