The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

Cynical groaned, he hated llamas, ever since he watched the emperor's new groove.

[NameIess]

Cynical hated a lot of things.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

including Star Wars, most people either hated him or moderately disliked him.

[NameIess]

Oliver was Cynical’s only friend.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

besides Dashoni Ar Pharazon.

[NameIess]

But Dashoni had died a long time ago, so she didn’t really count.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

their cause of death had been boredom.

[NameIess]

Bored to death by some guy named Lard. Or at least that’s what Cynical had heard. Her death had turned him into the cynical man he was today.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

It was a permanent transformation.

[NameIess]

Indeed. Try as he might, Cynical could not become the happy, carefree man he used to be.

[Silva]

So he tried to become happier than he used to be instead.

[NameIess]

Failing to do this caused Cynical to believe that happiness was an illusion propagated by fools and philosophers.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

A man named Philosophers appeared to argue with Cynical.

"My colleague Fools was unable to make it to this discussion, unfortunately," he said.

[NameIess]

Cynical waved a dismissive hand. “Philosophy is a bunch of nonsense. All you do is make up convincing lies to make people feel better about themselves.”

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

Cynical continued, "philosophy is religion, except worse."

[NameIess]

"Because unlike religion, where godlike beings fool humans into worshipping them, philosophy is made up of humans fooling each other into worshipping themselves. Total claptrap."

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

Thaidakar nodded slightly, "interesting... almost as interesting as the process of making a New York street vendor hot dog."

[NameIess]

Cynical gave Thaidakar a measuring look. "Are you one of those Narrators?"

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

"Now hold on just a minute," Philosophers said.

He was going to continue, but was stopped from saying anything further because a leftover pineapple hit him on the head.

[NameIess]

Cynical raised an eyebrow. "You see? The universe agrees with me."

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

The Universe threw a pineapple at Cynical, because The Universe is only fair in the way that it is equally unfair to everyone.

[NameIess]

This only further proved Cynical's point

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

But he was unable to appreciate the further proof because he was covered in pineapple juice.

[NameIess]

Because of this plot against him, as he saw it, Cynical began plotting to murder Philosophers.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Philosophers had vanished into the fourth dimension, though.