The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[xinoehp512 he/him]

On 5/31/2022 at 3:59 PM, Nameless said:

"655, what was your life like before you become survivor #655 and realized you were in a movie?"

655 sobered. "It was... well, I don't want to say normal. I thought it was normal. But everyone does, at first."

[NameIess]

So Nameless killed ? at a bad time instead.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

A mysterious ? block appeared.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Butt Venture jumped into it from below.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

He ended up butt slaming into the block and releasing the terror with in. A resurrected ? fused with a Eizard.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Butt Venture freaked out and ran into a nearby cave, where an old man was waiting for him. He was holding a sword.

Edit: You should know where this is going...

Edited June 1, 2022 by The Bookwyrm

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

"Take this sword it's dangerous outside," yelled the old man.

Legend of Zelda Butt Venture style 

Edited June 1, 2022 by The Wandering Wizard

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Butt took the sword and ran out side to face the ?-Eizard, also known as a ?izard.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

? Eizard had fled to his layer and Butt was massively underpowered. So he was sent to become more powerfull. 

Do you know where both swords are and how to get at least the next sword before the first dungeon? As it is possible.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Butt watched the ?izard fly away into the distance. He then turned to go find some enemies to fight.

I have actually never played the original Legend of Zelda.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I never finished it, but my dad has tried to convince me to on the original nintendo emulator on the switch.

He encounters a weird red puffer fish that shoots hard rocks at him.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Butt did not have a shield, however, so he could not shield parry the hard rocks back at the weird red puffer fish.

[NameIess]

Original Zelda is one of only two Zelda games that I have beaten.

Butt then began burning down random people’s doors

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

What is the other Zelda game. They all are great games and I have played quite a few

And setting all the bushes on fire as he had accquired the lantern.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

He was looking for a shield.

At one house, as the family living inside ran away screaming, Butt found an Absurdly Sturdy Shield mounted above the fireplace.

Edited June 1, 2022 by The Bookwyrm
Ninja'd.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

"Not the hylian shield but this will do," mussed Butt.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Actually, in Skyward Sword, the person who gives you the Hylian Shield refers to it as an Absurdly Sturdy Shield. So it is the Hylian Shield. 

Butt took a closer look. 

"Wait, this actually is the Hylian Shield," Butt remarked.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

I never got it from the dragon but I really should replay it again.

Now he just had to find a sword.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Bookwyrm was confused, because he thought Butt had just gotten a sword from the old man in a cave.

Butt wondered where his sword had gone.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

"Wait," thought Butt. "I need a better sword if I am to kill ? Eizard."

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Butt made his way to Korok Forest.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Butt blew up a hole in the wall and found a full heart container.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

But I need more, he thought, if I am to wield the sword that lies in Korok Forest.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

? Eizard laughed as the white sword wasn't hidden in the forest and the master sword was hidden somewhere else.

[The Bookwyrm he/him]

Butt was unaware of this, however. He finally got all the heart containers he needed, but as he walked into the forest, he got lost.