The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[AonEne he/him]

And surprisingly, most people really liked it. 

[NameIess]

The whiske caused a revolution in the food industry. Finally, a healthy food that tasted good!

[AonEne he/him]

Of course, this led to all the health food makers being very upset that no one was buying their food anymore. 

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

This caused the food industries to all gather together, and concoct a devious plan to overthrow the production of whiske...

[+Doomstick he/him]

Then they discovered WHISK™

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

WHISK™ was made from taking a normal kitchen whisk, and patenting it. Thus, creating the most deadly object in all of the Cosmere.

[NameIess]

But only if you were stupid enough to eat it. Which obviously, no one was. Right?

[AonEne he/him]

Right! Everyone agreed that that would be painful. However, some of them did think of something else they could patent and eat... 

[Silva]

…knock-off Shardblades.

[AonEne he/him]

So they got to knocking all the Shardblades off shelves. 

[+Doomstick he/him]

one of them told a knock knock joke

[AonEne he/him]

"Who's there?" asked Butt Venture, playing along. 

[+Doomstick he/him]

ur mom

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Once the final part of this knock-knock joke was in the hands of the media, the citizens of every major city and town on the planet went into full riot mode.

[AonEne he/him]

They were sick and tired of ur mom jokes. They resolved to ban them from use. 

[+Doomstick he/him]

they couldn't, however, ban them from used

[AonEne he/him]

Used was pretty content with this setup. 

[+Doomstick he/him]

Using was confused

[AonEne he/him]

Which was not unusual, Narrator Ene noted scornfully, for Using to be. 

[+Doomstick he/him]

Using needed to consult someone

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

The angry mob of citizens resorted to assassins.

[AonEne he/him]

The assassins, as it turned out, were also trained as consultants, so Using hired them all as well. 

[NameIess]

While this argument was going on, an army of ooklas approached in secret.

[AonEne he/him]

They did this every year, but some Narrators were unused to it. 

[NameIess]

Those who knew chose one of two options: Hunker down and wait for it to end, or join the unstoppable tide of Ooklas.