The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[NameIess]

Said the random spy sitting in on the Ghanderflaffle's secret meeting.

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

"qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm," they said.

[NameIess]

The Ghanderflaffles looked at them suspiscously.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

The spy diverged.

[NameIess]

Into two separate beings. One of them a fiery dragon, which attacked the Ghanderflaffle high council, and the other a tiny flying jellyfish, which floated away to report on its findings.

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

Meanwhile, Mat was like “ooh shiny”

[NameIess]

And that is the story of how Matrim Cauthon picked up a live thermonuclear warhead and carried it in his pocket for 57 years.

[AonEne he/him]

Why Robert Jordan didn't mention that in the story, no one will ever know. 

[+Doomstick he/him]

except that it happened after the story, No One knew that, of course

[NameIess]

No One knew everything.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

He was a good friend.

[NameIess]

And an even better enemy.

[AonEne he/him]

People clamored to be his enemy. 

[NameIess]

Unfortunately, he was just so dang friendly.

[AonEne he/him]

He'd won so many awards for friendliness that people lost count. 

[xinoehp512 he/him]

There was only one person who was not his friend.

[AonEne he/him]

And that person was Brandy Venture. 

[NameIess]

Brandy Venture was the only person more friendly than No One.

[AonEne he/him]

Their feud was a long one, full of trying to out-bake the other cookies. 

[xinoehp512 he/him]

Their main judge was Art Painter.

[NameIess]

Who gained 357 pounds while presiding as head judge.

[AonEne he/him]

To try and get rid of them, they... 

[xinoehp512 he/him]

Started a cross-country regimen, which he became quite good at.

[Jaywalk he/him]

Especially in the days of the rising ghanderflaffle empire.

[AonEne he/him]

Since this was happening constantly, he got a lot of practice.