The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[AonEne he/him]

The bomb would explode in two seconds. 

[Shard of Reading he/him]

So a petition was started to freeze time so they would have more time to deal with the bomb's imminent explosion.

Edited November 30, 2020 by Ookla the Bored

[NameIess]

It failed. The bomb exploded into a shower of confetti.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

Jones the ostrich was completely unharmed.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

Physically.

[Toaster Retribution he/him]

And mentally. At least, that was what he believed. 

[xinoehp512 he/him]

And he was entirely correct. The bomber, on the other hand...

[+Doomstick he/him]

was Joee

[NameIess]

And of course Jones the ostrich's mother was blown to pieces.

[AonEne he/him]

He fell over, sobbing desperately, if ostriches can sob. 

[xinoehp512 he/him]

Then he realized he didn't actually care, since his parents were terrible.

[+Ark1002]

And that's dragon haunches.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

He felt encouraged by the discovery that he was, in fact, a dinosaur.

[NameIess]

But then he caught tuberculosis.

[Truthless of Shinovar he/him]

“You’re out!” Jones called to the person at bat. They were playing a friendly round of tuberculosis-ball. That’s when Jones remembered he had schizophrenia. 

[xinoehp512 he/him]

Luckily, his friend Sams could help.

[+Doomstick he/him]

Because Sams was a dang potater and knew that tuberculosis in this case was not tuberculosis, it was tuberculosis.

[NameIess]

(Sams was also a hallucination)

[AonEne he/him]

Narrator Ene was no longer quite as mad at herself and was no longer kicking trees. 

[NameIess]

Nameless inquired as to what she had been mad at herself for.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

X's avatar encountered Sams the cowboy gorilla.

[+Doomstick he/him]

Smas was a gorilla cowboy and totally not the same person  

[xinoehp512 he/him]

(They were twins)

[+Doomstick he/him]

(the parentheses had taken over the Bunker)

[xinoehp512 he/him]

(squeezing it in grips of partical circularity)