Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Kaymyth she/her]

51 minutes ago, Truthweaver said:

I had to miss work because of bad, white-out level snow yesterday, which was apparently only a local storm right in my area. The town where I work was clear. I texted my boss, who ended up covering my shift themselves . The snowstorm over us lasted most of my usual shift and I thought everything was fine...but come tomorrow morning, I guess it wasn't. My boss talked to me while I was on lunch break and said since I was the only adult staff on the closing shift (there's also a student who works with me) I should have tried harder to come in and given more notice. They said they didn't want to get HR involved (!?) because they knew I'd understand...basically, they said that since I was no longer a student staff member but an adult one I should be more responsible and make every effort to get into work. It could become an attendance issue if it happened again. But the thing is, the snow was bad in my area, and there'd been accidents on the road I usually take to get into work. I just didn't feel safe about going, but now I feel like I really messed up and it's my fault and I should have tried harder. I feel like a kid pretending to be an adult. All my co-workers seem so competent while I get sat down and reminded I have to be responsible. My boss even implied (but this might just be my mind twisting things) that if my position wasn't working out that I could go back to my old student position. They might have been joking though. I don't know. I feel so down on myself, like I can never make the right call about anything and everyone else always knows what they're doing.

Sorry for the long, ranting post...I had to get it all out somewhere. On the bright side, I just told my family this and they entertained me with stories about getting reprimanded by their bosses. So I do feel a bit better now.

You're always going to have those people - "Well, *I* didn't have any trouble getting in, so I don't see what <person>'s deal was."

Take pictures. Take pictures of the snow. Take a picture with a ruler showing the depth. Take pictures of the accidents. Record the news and bring the video in. Drown them in evidence.

You were being responsible - responsible for yourself and your own safety.

[Truthweaver she/her]

33 minutes ago, Kaymyth said:

You're always going to have those people - "Well, *I* didn't have any trouble getting in, so I don't see what <person>'s deal was."

Take pictures. Take pictures of the snow. Take a picture with a ruler showing the depth. Take pictures of the accidents. Record the news and bring the video in. Drown them in evidence.

You were being responsible - responsible for yourself and your own safety.

Thanks, I needed that reminder.  My boss told me that there hadn't been any snow squall warnings--but they were there for me, 20 minutes away from that area. And cars in the ditch on the local news.  At least I know what their position on all this is, anyway.

[Delightful]

10 hours ago, Truthweaver said:

Thanks, I needed that reminder.  My boss told me that there hadn't been any snow squall warnings--but they were there for me, 20 minutes away from that area. And cars in the ditch on the local news.  At least I know what their position on all this is, anyway.

I agree with Kaymyth. You were being responsible, your boss was wrong. Did you tell them about the warnings in your area?

[Truthweaver she/her]

16 minutes ago, Ookla the Maccabee said:

I agree with Kaymyth. You were being responsible, your boss was wrong. Did you tell them about the warnings in your area?

I should have, but at the time I just wanted the confrontation to be over with as soon as possible. And the storm was very localized...driving a few hundred feet or so down my usual route would have brought me out of it, I think, so I was just on the fringe of it. Next time I'll probably call my workplace and see what the weather's like there before I decide.

[Kaymyth she/her]

9 hours ago, Truthweaver said:

I should have, but at the time I just wanted the confrontation to be over with as soon as possible. And the storm was very localized...driving a few hundred feet or so down my usual route would have brought me out of it, I think, so I was just on the fringe of it. Next time I'll probably call my workplace and see what the weather's like there before I decide.

I mean, snow is an insanely variable thing. Fluctuations that make the difference between a quarter inch to a half inch of rain make huge differences in snowfall amount. On average, a single inch of rain equals 13 inches of snow, though that can vary by humidity. Anybody who has lived somewhere that snows at all knows this.

I also live in the lower American Midwest; wild variations in precipitation amount are normal here. We absolutely get storms that will dump a foot of snow on one side of the metro, while the other side only a few miles away gets an inch or two. The idea that your boss doesn't understand this is laughable to me, and just tells me that he is a poor manager.

Heck, when we are expecting bad weather, my workplace will offer to put people up in a hotel down the street, just to ensure that we have coverage while keeping our staff as safe as possible. Good employers look out for their people. Bad employers blame their employees for things not within their control.

[Delightful]

I'm having a crappy first day at work.  

Im paired up with a lady who seems to think that not speaking Hebrew means I can't count change or something, she doubts me every time. There's also no room so she decided to basically sit on me, she yelled at me for telling someone the wrong time because I was somehow suppose to know the clocks were wrong (which also meant I hadn't made it as much time as I thought I had) and now I'm just constantly convincing myself that I need this job and I need to not panic and leave. I'm angry though 

 

I think I'm gonna see if someone wants to go see Star Wars with me later 

[AngelEy3 he/him]

@Truthweaver There's always somebody in charge who obviously shouldn't be. Been that way everywhere I've ever worked or gone to school. I used to work at a state run prison facility. There was a horrible flood in town back in 2012 where the water was higher from the lake and river than it had ever been in the history of it having been recorded. A full 1/3 of the town was inundated with flood waters, including the grocery store and food banks. Houses on the shoreline were completely underwater. Bridges to the South, East, and North were submerged leaving only uphill, to the west, open for a way in or out.

The state locked us inside the prison, which being on the high ground had open access to unflooded roads, and refused to let anyone leave for 4 days. They also cut off the outside phonelines, disabling us from warning our coworkers of the trap they were walking into, or getting any info to or from  families about their/our wellbeing. One of the gate guards, after the 2nd day, let out a small group and threw down his keys and badge outside the main gate. They were the only people to get out for the next 48 hrs. Meanwhile the state forced the rest of us to allow their pitiful excuse of what they shamefully called "professionals" to protect our homes. They weren't protected at all. My wife spent that entire time alone in her car parked on a hillside.

I never forgave. And I never forgot. My last night at work there was about 3 years later when my chance finally struck home. The officer who had been in charge of keeping us imprisoned during the flood needed to leave at 3am for a family emergency. Guess who was on gate duty? Guess who didn't make it thru that gate until shift change 4 hrs later? Guess who quit that day? The single most satisfying act of vengeance I've ever taken and I've never lost a wink of sleep over it. It almost scares me. 

[Truthweaver she/her]

3 hours ago, AngelEy3 said:

@Truthweaver There's always somebody in charge who obviously shouldn't be. Been that way everywhere I've ever worked or gone to school. I used to work at a state run prison facility. There was a horrible flood in town back in 2012 where the water was higher from the lake and river than it had ever been in the history of it having been recorded. A full 1/3 of the town was inundated with flood waters, including the grocery store and food banks. Houses on the shoreline were completely underwater. Bridges to the South, East, and North were submerged leaving only uphill, to the west, open for a way in or out.

The state locked us inside the prison, which being on the high ground had open access to unflooded roads, and refused to let anyone leave for 4 days. They also cut off the outside phonelines, disabling us from warning our coworkers of the trap they were walking into, or getting any info to or from  families about their/our wellbeing. One of the gate guards, after the 2nd day, let out a small group and threw down his keys and badge outside the main gate. They were the only people to get out for the next 48 hrs. Meanwhile the state forced the rest of us to allow their pitiful excuse of what they shamefully called "professionals" to protect our homes. They weren't protected at all. My wife spent that entire time alone in her car parked on a hillside.

I never forgave. And I never forgot. My last night at work there was about 3 years later when my chance finally struck home. The officer who had been in charge of keeping us imprisoned during the flood needed to leave at 3am for a family emergency. Guess who was on gate duty? Guess who didn't make it thru that gate until shift change 4 hrs later? Guess who quit that day? The single most satisfying act of vengeance I've ever taken and I've never lost a wink of sleep over it. It almost scares me. 

Wow, that is horrible. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. At least you did get revenge eventually. I'm usually not an advocate of revenge but it sounds like it was warranted in that case. That's just insane.

4 hours ago, Ookla the Maccabee said:

I'm having a crappy first day at work.  

Im paired up with a lady who seems to think that not speaking Hebrew means I can't count change or something, she doubts me every time. There's also no room so she decided to basically sit on me, she yelled at me for telling someone the wrong time because I was somehow suppose to know the clocks were wrong (which also meant I hadn't made it as much time as I thought I had) and now I'm just constantly convincing myself that I need this job and I need to not panic and leave. I'm angry though 

 

I think I'm gonna see if someone wants to go see Star Wars with me later 

I'm sorry you're not having a good first day. Do you have a chance to be paired up with someone better later? Hopefully things will improve if you hang in there for a bit longer.

[A Budgie she/her]

@Ookla the Maccabee *hugs* I'm sorry work's been hard, and I hope it gets better soon. I'm sure you'll enjoy Star Wars, though.

[Nathrangking he/him]

I just went to go see star wars. 2 hours and a quarter into the movie the power goes out to the entire complex. Everyone was sent home with the promise of tickets to come back and see a different showing. With approximately 15 minutes left they could not find a way to restore power. It may be trivial, but it is nonetheless annoying beyond belief.

[AngelEy3 he/him]

@Nathrangking That really sucks. I'd be none too happy myself. I remember back when theatres still ran film my dad took me to see the remastered edition of A New Hope. 97'ish I believe? Anyway, something happened with the projector and we watched the film melt apart right before the Death Star run. It was horrible. At least in that case I already knew how the movie ended. 

[Draginon he/him]

Yesterday me and my mom went to the Chicken Restaurant at Knott's Berry Farm. Hadn't been there in three years and during that time they completely renovated the place. They ruined the entire restaurant! Before it was homey and cozy since it was the original feeling that Cordelia Knott made for the restaurant, now it feels the opposite of that and the design feels like someone who had never been to a farm before and decided that using mason jars as light bulbs means farm and completely plain walls and wooden ship lap/beams with a horse head statue in one dining room equals a working stable (if I didn't see that horse head I wouldn't have guessed it was meant to be a stable) and it just felt cheap and thrown together. I don't know if it's supposed to be 'Farm chic' but it just didn't feel like an inviting place to eat.

Onto the actual meal. From the time we walked in to when we left it was over 2 hours! The place wasn't crowded (they can hold 800 people and it was nowhere near that number) and in the past I've been there when the line was out the door and it never took more than an hour. When we sat down it took 40 minutes before the waitress even came to our table to get our drink and food order. The drinks took about 10 minutes to arrive. Another 10 or so pass before we get the biscuits they give everyone before the meal. The biscuits always come with butter and the signature boysenberry jam and they weren't there and it took the waitress 5 minutes to bring it. We didn't even ask for them but when she brought the biscuits she acted like it was going to be a chore to bring the stuff. When she brought it the jam was plopped messily, and very unappealing, on a saucer. It would've looked more presentable in a bowl. As for the biscuits she brought us 16! Between us we only ate 4! (These biscuits are half the size of a regular biscuit) There were only two other tables she was serving, one was a large party, but she never stopped to ask if we needed anything, we both needed refills of our drinks since it was already about 75 minutes into the meal and had yet to get our actual meal, but she asked the other two that quite a bit so it was getting obvious she was ignoring us for some reason. My mom had to find a different server to get our refills along with honey and lemon for her tea. When the lemon arrived I literally laughed because it was on a saucer like everything else, was the biggest lemon I'd ever seen and was cut into four giant slices like an orange and she was only needing one. During this time my mom got her soup, she did one of the chicken dinner meals while I did the chicken sliders, she had to ask the waitress if she could have a spoon, unusual not to get one with soup of all things, and that took a good 10 minutes and the soup was lukewarm at best so she didn't finish it. By this point I had dubbed our waitress Molasses because of how slow she was with everything (I saw other servers going to their respective dining rooms far more than I saw ours since where I was sitting gave me a good view of the one hallway leading to three other dining rooms and the kitchen). Once we finally got our meals we weren't exactly happy with it. My mom didn't like her chicken and sides that much and my sliders came with just pickles. Chicken sandwiches tend to come with some kind of sauce so I was surprised these didn't. I was half tempted to put the jame on them because I was afraid it would take the waitress 10 minutes to bring me some ranch to put on it but we asked a different waiter and he brought it within a couple minutes. After this my mom's dinner has a dessert come in. In the pre-refurb days they always took your dessert order at the same time as the meal order but when my mom went to give it at the beginning the waitress was pretty rude when she said she'd take the order later. Because of how it was already two hours at this point she decided to take her dessert to go. I went to use the restroom at this point and when I returned she had her pie. Apparently the waitress didn't think she needed a bag or utensils to eat it with since we were going back to the hotel. When bringing the bill she was suddenly being all sweet so that she'd get a big tip. Because of her attitude the entire meal and terrible service we didn't even give her a tip since she didn't do anything to deserve one. When we were leaving we went to a manager to give our genuine complaints she was very dismissive, and was not dressed professionally for a manager, and acted like there was nothing wrong with the restaurant at all. Because of these things I'm not sure I even want to return and I loved coming for the atmosphere and the friendly staff before they did the refurbishment from either last year or two years ago. Modern and faster? More like tacky and slow thanks to the changes they made.

Also the clothes the wait staff wear didn't really fit with the theme. They were dressed more for a country steak restaurant like Logan's or Cotton Patch than a farm house. Before the women wore dresses like women wore back in the olden days and the men wore white/baby blue button down shirts and tan slacks like farm hands would wear. The new outfits seemed more suited for the theme park at the front gate, a couple of the establishments in Ghost Town and maybe all of the Boardwalk area.

[Sunbird she/her]

@Draginon Oh man, I wouldn't want to return after a dinner experience like that either! If it had just been your waitress I would've said maybe she was the source of the problem, but since the manager blew you off... Yeah, they'd lose me as a customer until they got their act together. Sorry you had such a rotten time there.

[Draginon he/him]

@Sunbird Yeah, I would've maybe given the place a second chance if it was just a bad server but the manager was pretty bad. I don't know if I can bring myself to go back with how they ruined the appearance of the restaurant since they forgot the important question 'we can do this but should we?' since it doesn't even feel like the same place anymore. To put it simply it'd be like going to a McDonald's but it was suddenly changed to a Burger King but still called themselves McDonald's. I didn't care that much for the food itself in the past but I returned because of the servers they had, the atmosphere and because it was someplace my grandma loved when she was alive. Now that all three are gone I just can't bring myself to return.

[Kari he/him]

I checked my ebook library to see if they had OB yet. I clicked on my recommendations to see, and had a flash of joy. It was on hold. I looked at my holds, and was #28 of 1 copy... That thoroughly ruined my morning.

[Kaymyth she/her]

2 hours ago, Ookla the Hematist said:

I checked my ebook library to see if they had OB yet. I clicked on my recommendations to see, and had a flash of joy. It was on hold. I looked at my holds, and was #28 of 1 copy... That thoroughly ruined my morning.

Clearly your library doesn't understand priorities. Only one copy of Oathbringer? Those fools.

Pssst Ookla season is over

[Steeldancer he/him]

I'm supposedly having a good day. I didn't do much in school today. I'm listening to OB. I got awesome gifts today from secret santa, $80 worth of prizes from work, got a garbage plate (its a local thing, very delicious), and I only have one thing to do- an essay on an essay on frankenstein. I don't even have work. I did well in my dance class today. 

But, I feel empty inside. It was like this before I had a girlfriend, something I knew would happen as soon as I got broken up with. This deep loneliness, that no matter who I talk to, no matter how much I pray, just doesn't seem to go away. I'm very religious, but God isn't exactly a talking buddy that I can discuss comics with. It probably doesn't help that the Frankenstein essay I'm analyzing is on loneliness. I feel like I need to snuggle or hug something, but that really isn't an option available to me. So, I'll probably just power through my essay best I can, go back to listening to OB (in the middle of writing this I switched to Kaladin) and... yeah. 

At least tomorrow is the last day of school. And I'll basically be doing nothing after English tomorrow. My family reunion starts Saturday. Christmas is Monday. Maybe it'll get better. But I'm not sure it'll ever really go away permanently. I feel like I've always been more or less alone. 

Gosh I need to stop moping and get to work. 

[Nathrangking he/him]

@Steeldancer *Hugs*. I can't begin to fully understand the emptiness and loneliness that you are describing. However, know that in all of this you are not in fact alone. We are here to listen and talk. Keep your chin up and charge forward. We are here charging beside you. Stay strong and remember that we are here for you!

Edit:  @Steeldancer everyone has their own struggles. Your venting does not in any way diminish your or other people's struggles. Everyone needs a support system we are yours. You should not feel bad about wanting to be heard or wanting to talk about the challenges that you are dealing with. I can only speak for myself, but I'm here and I'm not bothered by being your sounding board. There is no such thing as too much venting. 

Edited December 22, 2017 by Nathrangking

[Steeldancer he/him]

Sometimes I feel like I complain too much. I complain about being a little lonely, while others struggle with the will to live? Idk. That kind of just makes me feel worse. 

Great, and here comes SciShow, making me doubt myself now lol 

 

Edited December 22, 2017 by Steeldancer

[Hemalurgic Headshot he/him]

11 minutes ago, Steeldancer said:

Sometimes I feel like I complain too much. I complain about being a little lonely, while others struggle with the will to live? Idk. That kind of just makes me feel worse. 

I know exactly how you feel. I struggle with that sometimes, and just know that we care for you here. I mean, I haven't fixed my problem, so I can't really help you with yours, but perk up! Think of something to do with all of your free time, because if you just waste it away, you'll feel like crap.

[A Budgie she/her]

@Steeldancer *hugs* I'm sorry you're feeling so down, and I think it's okay to be feeling lonely and/or sorry for yourself.

[Delightful]

12 hours ago, Steeldancer said:

I'm supposedly having a good day. I didn't do much in school today. I'm listening to OB. I got awesome gifts today from secret santa, $80 worth of prizes from work, got a garbage plate (its a local thing, very delicious), and I only have one thing to do- an essay on an essay on frankenstein. I don't even have work. I did well in my dance class today. 

But, I feel empty inside. It was like this before I had a girlfriend, something I knew would happen as soon as I got broken up with. This deep loneliness, that no matter who I talk to, no matter how much I pray, just doesn't seem to go away. I'm very religious, but God isn't exactly a talking buddy that I can discuss comics with. It probably doesn't help that the Frankenstein essay I'm analyzing is on loneliness. I feel like I need to snuggle or hug something, but that really isn't an option available to me. So, I'll probably just power through my essay best I can, go back to listening to OB (in the middle of writing this I switched to Kaladin) and... yeah. 

At least tomorrow is the last day of school. And I'll basically be doing nothing after English tomorrow. My family reunion starts Saturday. Christmas is Monday. Maybe it'll get better. But I'm not sure it'll ever really go away permanently. I feel like I've always been more or less alone. 

Gosh I need to stop moping and get to work. 

It sounds to me like you need more non romantic friends. Or at least, non romantic friends who can emotionally support you. I know society is weird and guy and girl friendships work differently and you probably can't just ask a regular friend for a hug (but you should totally be able to!)

So theres this Twitter thread that goes around every now and then, and the conclusion is basically that, for whatever reason, guys have shallower relationships. Women put in the emotional labour for each other and for the guys in their life, whereas men associate emotional labour only with their significant others, and while male friendships involve common interests and doing things together, they don't usually involve emotionally supporting each other or being vulnerable on a deep level.

Of course these are all generalisations but Im maybe seeing that with you in this post? You need friends who care who can emotionally support you. Obviously we're here. And yeah, romantic relationships are really wonderful and I definitely know the kind of existential fear that goes with not having a special someone, but its also possible to have a real fulfilling life without romance. Its great, its important, its not everything.

 

11 hours ago, Steeldancer said:

Sometimes I feel like I complain too much. I complain about being a little lonely, while others struggle with the will to live? Idk. That kind of just makes me feel worse. 

Great, and here comes SciShow, making me doubt myself now lol 

 

 We all need people; there's a reason solitary confinement is the worst punishment. Plus my recent depression was brought on largely by loneliness. 

Edited December 22, 2017 by Del-light-full

[Steeldancer he/him]

1 hour ago, Del-light-full said:

It sounds to me like you need more non romantic friends. Or at least, non romantic friends who can emotionally support you. I know society is weird and guy and girl friendships work differently and you probably can't just ask a regular friend for a hug (but you should totally be able to!)

So theres this Twitter thread that goes around every now and then, and the conclusion is basically that, for whatever reason, guys have shallower relationships. Women put in the emotional labour for each other and for the guys in their life, whereas men associate emotional labour only with their significant others, and while male friendships involve common interests and doing things together, they don't usually involve emotionally supporting each other or being vulnerable on a deep level.

Of course these are all generalisations but Im maybe seeing that with you in this post? You need friends who care who can emotionally support you. Obviously we're here. And yeah, romantic relationships are really wonderful and I definitely know the kind of existential fear that goes with not having a special someone, but its also possible to have a real fulfilling life without romance. Its great, its important, its not everything.

 

 We all need people; there's a reason solitary confinement is the worst punishment. Plus my recent depression was brought on largely by loneliness. 

You make a fair point, but what I'm looking for isn't romantic. Romance seems to fill it, but thats... not quite it. It's more of a need for being understood. Which my ex did very well. I have some great friends, but they don't have the same priorities and interests as me. And there's kind of a... disconnect. Idk. 

I'm feeling better today. It seems to have mostly stemmed from sitting around analyzing alienation themes. Even just ranting a bit makes me feel better. I really appreciate that there is an entire community of people willing to listen to my silly problems. 

[Shqueeves]

5 hours ago, Steeldancer said:

You make a fair point, but what I'm looking for isn't romantic. Romance seems to fill it, but thats... not quite it. It's more of a need for being understood. Which my ex did very well. I have some great friends, but they don't have the same priorities and interests as me. And there's kind of a... disconnect. Idk. 

I'm feeling better today. It seems to have mostly stemmed from sitting around analyzing alienation themes. Even just ranting a bit makes me feel better. I really appreciate that there is an entire community of people willing to listen to my silly problems. 

Everybody needs someone who understands them. The only other option is feeling an intense loneliness. 

Don't think for a second that your problems are silly. There are very few silly problems, and nothing is gained by believing that yours is silly. 

[Delightful]

On 22/12/2017 at 4:13 PM, Steeldancer said:

You make a fair point, but what I'm looking for isn't romantic. Romance seems to fill it, but thats... not quite it. It's more of a need for being understood. Which my ex did very well. I have some great friends, but they don't have the same priorities and interests as me. And there's kind of a... disconnect. Idk. 

I'm feeling better today. It seems to have mostly stemmed from sitting around analyzing alienation themes. Even just ranting a bit makes me feel better. I really appreciate that there is an entire community of people willing to listen to my silly problems. 

That's actually exactly my point. My inbox is open if you need. 

Edited December 23, 2017 by Del-light-full