Having a Bad Day?: Get 'yer Hugs here!!

[Mestiv he/him]

8 hours ago, Ookla the Dragon said:

For the past month, I've been in a state where I've only been half awake.

Maybe sleep more? You'd be surprised how much sufficient amount of sleep can affect you.

[A Budgie she/her]

@Ookla the Dragon woah. Is there somebody in real life, at school perhaps that you can talk to who can help you through your classes/grades?

[SilverTiger she/her]

Ugh. I really need a hug.

So, last night, while my sister was swinging, she caught her foot on the edge of the porch, wrenched it or something painfully. A while later, having come inside and put an icepack on it, it began to swell. This morning, she went to the doctor, got an x-ray. It isn't broken, but likely just badly sprained. Either way, she is now using crutches. Which means that she can't carry stuff around, so I have to do it for her (parents are at work or shopping most of the day). And my sister does not do grateful very well, and she doesn't like being helpless, so she was really cranky and grouchy. And, of course, I was the only target.

Once parents got home, I had to feed the cats for her, among other chores. While sister was either sitting on the sofa reading or clanking around on crutches. And I have a book project due next week that I really need to work on and don't want to do. And basically, I had a miserable day and needed to rant somewhere. Sorry for just spewing it all at you.

[Sunbird she/her]

@SilverTiger *hugs* Sorry you have to deal with all that extra workload and a grumpy sister. I hope she heals quickly so you don't have to do the work of two for long.

[Mulk he/him]

hugs SilverTiger

So...I really hate the Christmas season.  I hate "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" (like, the only song I actively, truly despise and would rather take a hammer to my fingers than listen to it).  Part of this is a function of my depression and part of it is I really hate how a lot of people act this time of year - how impossible it is to get anywhere, do anything, the general lack of thankfulness and so on.  I hate being hounded for what I want.  I hate being hounded to give things to those who want.  Basically for me Christmas is the opposite of everything I want it to be.  The fact that I'm a minister on weekends complicates matters further.  Ministry unfortunately offers no respite from the ailing nature life sometimes has.  I understand why some like me kill themselves.  I'm not on that path (haven't had a suicidal ideation in a couple decades) and I think I pretty well firmly have myself in hand so I never will be, but...man, do I understand why they do it.

This is the month of the year I wish I could burn off the calendar and just skip from Thanksgiving to New Years.  I hate that I'm this way, but this is the way that I am and have been for years. I can remember loving Christmas and I don't know how to get back to that without avoiding people. Like, all people.  Which I can't do.  So, any hugs, prayers, good thoughts and whatever are welcome. I do my best not to come off like the Grinch but I'm having a lot of trouble this year so far.

[Delightful]

On 3 December 2017 at 5:22 AM, SilverTiger said:

Ugh. I really need a hug.

So, last night, while my sister was swinging, she caught her foot on the edge of the porch, wrenched it or something painfully. A while later, having come inside and put an icepack on it, it began to swell. This morning, she went to the doctor, got an x-ray. It isn't broken, but likely just badly sprained. Either way, she is now using crutches. Which means that she can't carry stuff around, so I have to do it for her (parents are at work or shopping most of the day). And my sister does not do grateful very well, and she doesn't like being helpless, so she was really cranky and grouchy. And, of course, I was the only target.

Once parents got home, I had to feed the cats for her, among other chores. While sister was either sitting on the sofa reading or clanking around on crutches. And I have a book project due next week that I really need to work on and don't want to do. And basically, I had a miserable day and needed to rant somewhere. Sorry for just spewing it all at you.

As someone who's been the cranky helpless person more than once.....it must be rough on you. Its rough on everyone. Hopefully your sister gets better soon. Take some gratitude from me if you want, you're doing a great job and making her life a lot more bearable right now. Just absolutely remember to take time for yourself, get your work done, get things you enjoy. Spending all day shlepping after someone else is draining. You're doing good. 

14 hours ago, Ookla the Mulkfather said:

hugs SilverTiger

So...I really hate the Christmas season.  I hate "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire" (like, the only song I actively, truly despise and would rather take a hammer to my fingers than listen to it).  Part of this is a function of my depression and part of it is I really hate how a lot of people act this time of year - how impossible it is to get anywhere, do anything, the general lack of thankfulness and so on.  I hate being hounded for what I want.  I hate being hounded to give things to those who want.  Basically for me Christmas is the opposite of everything I want it to be.  The fact that I'm a minister on weekends complicates matters further.  Ministry unfortunately offers no respite from the ailing nature life sometimes has.  I understand why some like me kill themselves.  I'm not on that path (haven't had a suicidal ideation in a couple decades) and I think I pretty well firmly have myself in hand so I never will be, but...man, do I understand why they do it.

This is the month of the year I wish I could burn off the calendar and just skip from Thanksgiving to New Years.  I hate that I'm this way, but this is the way that I am and have been for years. I can remember loving Christmas and I don't know how to get back to that without avoiding people. Like, all people.  Which I can't do.  So, any hugs, prayers, good thoughts and whatever are welcome. I do my best not to come off like the Grinch but I'm having a lot of trouble this year so far.

Speaking as a non-Christian here, but I don't think theres a rule or anything that you have to love Christmas. Seems like a lot of it is more socially mandated annoyance than anything - repetitive songs, trying to think of and then spend money on a present for every single relative you've never spoken to. Maybe do a small celebration with a handful of people you actually care about and tell everyone else to go to hell?

 

And post for myself: I'm starting to feel like applying for jobs is a pointless pursuit. I've been trying for months and most people don't even get back to me. I just put all this effort in, sometimes there are leads, and then nothing. I'm poor and frustrated and scared that I won't be able to pay rent soon. Anyone have advice or inspiration or hugs or anything?

Edited December 4, 2017 by Ookla the Delightful

[Mulk he/him]

1 hour ago, Ookla the Delightful said:

Speaking as a non-Christian here, but I don't think theres a rule or anything that you have to love Christmas. Seems like a lot of it is more socially mandated annoyance than anything - repetitive songs, trying to think of and then spend money on a present for every single relative you've never spoken to. Maybe do a small celebration with a handful of people you actually care about and tell everyone else to go to hell?

And post for myself: I'm starting to feel like applying for jobs is a pointless pursuit. I've been trying for months and most people don't even get back to me. I just put all this effort in, sometimes there are leads, and then nothing. I'm poor and frustrated and scared that I won't be able to pay rent soon. Anyone have advice or inspiration or hugs or anything?

I guess I love what Christmas actually is and hate what it has become.

About 8 years ago I was laid off and that turned into the longest jobless period of my life, chewed up every bit of savings and retirement that I had.  Still haven't recovered from that.  It took six months to get my first interview, 9 to get my second. So I get where you're coming from.  I completely ran out of money in February the following year and didn't get my first paycheck until mid-April. 

First - most jobs don't treat potential hires as humans with hopes and needs.  And to give them the benefit of the doubt, it's difficult to have the time to personally respond to everyone interested, given the numbers of people applying for jobs a lot of places.  Don't expect much back - the best you can do is continually put yourself out there.  Open yourself up to possible moves as well, particularly to any cities where there are good friends or family who might help you get set up if you can land a job there.

Second - do not be shy about asking for help. This includes jobless benefits and food stamps, but it also includes being honest with the people you know about where you are and how difficult it is.  My parents came down twice and took us on the buy everything in sight grocery trips that run about $500 dollars.  The church has a food and clothing bank they keep for the needy, that was open every time we needed it.  Several friends didn't have much but gave us a tank of gas. And, finally, a friend in Dallas who is fairly well off sent me a paycheck, basically, to get me to my first paycheck, since it was three weeks after I started that I got my first check for work.  They all did that free of charge.  Some folks hit me up for tutoring (high school math, specifically) or piano lessons so they could "give" me money for services rendered, which is a huge boon when you're feeling useless.  It's not because I'm some paragon of humanity that they did this - I know a lot of compassionate people, good folks who whatever their faults don't want anyone to go hungry.  And we never did. 

Third - the fact you do not have a job is not a reflection on your worthiness for one, or upon you as a person.  You can't let that get on top of you.  If you don't have a strategy to deal with that, you need one, whether it be songs or books or a good friend or family member  you go to, whatever it might be, cling to that.  Because those feelings will come for you, repeatedly and often.  If you listen, you'll stop seeking jobs, start to believe you'll never get a job, you'll lose hope.  Whoever it is you talk to about stuff like this...you need to be 100% honest with them and tell them to stay on you.  Nagging if they need to, take you out for a coffee or a meal and some laughs, or whatever, but don't leave you alone in that; and ask them to come knock on your door if you won't answer the phone.  When I'm at my darkest, I cannot be allowed to sit alone in my thoughts.  I'm married and have a family so I am almost never alone, but it needs to be said.

Last - this is a rough time for you but it, too, shall pass.  There will be peace.  You will be okay.  And several years down the road you'll remember the nature of these days and probably laugh a bit wondering why you worried so much, because it didn't, does not and never will help do much aside from make you need the doctor more often.  The Lord be with you, as He always has and always will be.  And if you need to vent privately, by all means, light up my inbox.  I can't do much for you other than listen, but sometimes that was all I needed.

[SilverTiger she/her]

Thanks for the hugs.

@Ookla the Mulkfather, I understand about Christmas. I don't like what it has become, what with the shopping and all. Christmas songs, though... I hate Jingle Bell Rock. Haven't heard of Chestnuts on a Fire, but I can relate.

@Ookla the Delightful, many hugs for you. And some prayers, too. I can't really suggest anything, but, well, *hugs*.

[Delightful]

1 hour ago, SilverTiger said:

Thanks for the hugs.

@Ookla the Mulkfather, I understand about Christmas. I don't like what it has become, what with the shopping and all. Christmas songs, though... I hate Jingle Bell Rock. Haven't heard of Chestnuts on a Fire, but I can relate.

@Ookla the Delightful, many hugs for you. And some prayers, too. I can't really suggest anything, but, well, *hugs*.

*hugs back*

Hugs are wonderful. 

[A Budgie she/her]

@SilverTiger *hugs* I hope you and your sister can sort things out, or at least you can get some time to yourself.

@Ookla the Mulkfather I don't really love Christmas all that much either, apart from the chance to relax over the break. I'm sorry you find it so frustrating though.

@Ookla the Delightful *hugs* I'm really sorry you're unable to find a job. I'm sure things will get better soon! It sounds like you've put in a lot of effort, so I'm sure someone will notice it.

[Steeldancer he/him]

Well this is it. Today is the audition day for the musical my senior year. 

And I'm going home. 

I made this decision a while ago. But it still hurts. It feels like my break up all over again (which, I'm feeling a lot better about). Giving up something that I love doing because a stupid chull teacher picks favorites, gives me awful roles, and still wastes enormous amounts of my time- well it's really frustrating. I know I made the right choice though. It... it just still hurts. 

[+Slowswift]

So, uh. There may or may not have been a shooting literally one block away from where I work.  

Also, one of my coworkers passed away. This morning was not one for happy news.

Edited December 6, 2017 by Ookla the Tremendous

[Delightful]

13 hours ago, Ookla the Tremendous said:

So, uh. There may or may not have been a shooting literally one block away from where I work.  

Also, one of my coworkers passed away. This morning was not one for happy news.

aw rust man, Im so sorry! Are you ok?

[A Budgie she/her]

@Run Ookla, run! *hugs* I'm really sorry to hear that, especially if it's because of some teacher showing favouritism. 

@Ookla the Tremendous *hugs* Woah, that sounds scary, and I'm sorry to hear about your co-worker. As already asked, are you okay?

[Silverblade5 he/him]

So, after making a few edits, I've found this song really uplifting for the situation I mentioned a few posts up. 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_YvZYBb8lf0

 

[+Slowswift]

On 12/6/2017 at 8:22 AM, Ookla the Delightful said:

aw rust man, Im so sorry! Are you ok?

 

6 hours ago, A Budgie said:

@Run Ookla, run! *hugs* I'm really sorry to hear that, especially if it's because of some teacher showing favouritism. 

@Ookla the Tremendous *hugs* Woah, that sounds scary, and I'm sorry to hear about your co-worker. As already asked, are you okay?

I’m totally fine, thanks.  It was pretty small-scale, actually — a robbery gone wrong. Only one person ended up getting shot. Mostly, it was just alarming to hear so many sirens outside (we thought it was a chase at first, actually, until we got more details the next morning), and with that and the other news, it was all just really sobering more than anything.

[AllomancerSam]

I've just been having a rough couple of weeks mentally and emotionally. A lot of family drama's being going down, school is stressful, some money issues/worries, I won't bore with details. Also yay seasonal depression which is just ruining what has always been my favorite time of year.

I just feel really sad and lonely and empty and I have no idea who to turn to since all of my friends are busy and having their own issues and comparatively maybe mine really aren't that bad, but I still feel awful all the time, and I know it's not super healthy to rely on distractions to make me feel better but I do and now those are failing me too so I've got nothing right now (except relaying all of this to strangers on the internet in the hopes that actually putting it into words might help, so sorry for all this, you guys don't even know me, but I just had to tell someone).

[A Budgie she/her]

2 hours ago, AllomancerSam said:

I've just been having a rough couple of weeks mentally and emotionally. A lot of family drama's being going down, school is stressful, some money issues/worries, I won't bore with details. Also yay seasonal depression which is just ruining what has always been my favorite time of year.

I just feel really sad and lonely and empty and I have no idea who to turn to since all of my friends are busy and having their own issues and comparatively maybe mine really aren't that bad, but I still feel awful all the time, and I know it's not super healthy to rely on distractions to make me feel better but I do and now those are failing me too so I've got nothing right now (except relaying all of this to strangers on the internet in the hopes that actually putting it into words might help, so sorry for all this, you guys don't even know me, but I just had to tell someone).

*hug* That's what we're here for! I'm sorry you're feeling this way. But your issues are valid, so even if you think your friend's issues are more important, I suggest you should tell them how you're feeling. At the very least, so they know about it.

[Kari he/him]

My older brother who started SA two weeks ago got OB before me. He didn't even know about it before last week. I've been waiting for months for OB to release. Life is so unfair.  

Also we share an audible account.

Edited December 11, 2017 by Ookla the Hematist

[Delightful]

9 hours ago, AllomancerSam said:

I've just been having a rough couple of weeks mentally and emotionally. A lot of family drama's being going down, school is stressful, some money issues/worries, I won't bore with details. Also yay seasonal depression which is just ruining what has always been my favorite time of year.

I just feel really sad and lonely and empty and I have no idea who to turn to since all of my friends are busy and having their own issues and comparatively maybe mine really aren't that bad, but I still feel awful all the time, and I know it's not super healthy to rely on distractions to make me feel better but I do and now those are failing me too so I've got nothing right now (except relaying all of this to strangers on the internet in the hopes that actually putting it into words might help, so sorry for all this, you guys don't even know me, but I just had to tell someone).

Your problems are valid. You're in trouble and you need help and you can ask your friends for that help. As someone also dealing with depression right now - talk to your friends, be with people, do constructive things as much as you can. We're here for you, this thread could just as easily be called the Shard Support Group. Feel free to post again, and hang in there. It always gets better. 

 

Edit: I *was* having a good day. Then the random sadness struck. Struggled through necessary housework and now I'm hiding under the blankets because that feels safe. 

Edited December 11, 2017 by Ookla the Delightful

[Sunbird she/her]

22 hours ago, AllomancerSam said:

I've just been having a rough couple of weeks mentally and emotionally. A lot of family drama's being going down, school is stressful, some money issues/worries, I won't bore with details. Also yay seasonal depression which is just ruining what has always been my favorite time of year.

I just feel really sad and lonely and empty and I have no idea who to turn to since all of my friends are busy and having their own issues and comparatively maybe mine really aren't that bad, but I still feel awful all the time, and I know it's not super healthy to rely on distractions to make me feel better but I do and now those are failing me too so I've got nothing right now (except relaying all of this to strangers on the internet in the hopes that actually putting it into words might help, so sorry for all this, you guys don't even know me, but I just had to tell someone).

As Budgie and Delightful have already said, your problems and feelings are valid, even if you think your friends' problems are bigger or more important. I'm sorry you are feeling sad and lonely during what is supposed to be a season of cheer and happiness, but we're here for you--no matter whether we've ever met in person or are complete Internet strangers. Don't be afraid to come here and vent. Lots of times it helps to just let it out and have someone listen (or read, in this case). *hugs*

16 hours ago, Ookla the Hematist said:

My older brother who started SA two weeks ago got OB before me. He didn't even know about it before last week. I've been waiting for months for OB to release. Life is so unfair.  

Also we share an audible account.

Aw man, that is really unfair. Hopefully he'll finish with it quickly so you can have it asap?

[Silverblade5 he/him]

Today has been kind of crazy. A coworker was admitted to the er today, and nobody would cover her shift. We were eventually able to get a manager to come in. It was bad enough that when he arrived, I ended up shouting out 'rescue!'  Currently, we only have three people for closing. 

[AllomancerSam]

@A Budgie, @Ookla the Maccabee, and @Sunbird, thank you all so much. I am feeling considerably better now, and I think part of that is knowing even people who barely know me care. You're all so kind. 

[Delightful]

10 hours ago, AllomancerSam said:

@A Budgie, @Ookla the Maccabee, and @Sunbird, thank you all so much. I am feeling considerably better now, and I think part of that is knowing even people who barely know me care. You're all so kind. 

You're more than welcome. The internet strangers and internet friends here have helped me through more than my fair share of hard times. Somebody's gotta look out for you. <3 

[Truthweaver she/her]

I had to miss work because of bad, white-out level snow yesterday, which was apparently only a local storm right in my area. The town where I work was clear. I texted my boss, who ended up covering my shift themselves . The snowstorm over us lasted most of my usual shift and I thought everything was fine...but come tomorrow morning, I guess it wasn't. My boss talked to me while I was on lunch break and said since I was the only adult staff on the closing shift (there's also a student who works with me) I should have tried harder to come in and given more notice. They said they didn't want to get HR involved (!?) because they knew I'd understand...basically, they said that since I was no longer a student staff member but an adult one I should be more responsible and make every effort to get into work. It could become an attendance issue if it happened again. But the thing is, the snow was bad in my area, and there'd been accidents on the road I usually take to get into work. I just didn't feel safe about going, but now I feel like I really messed up and it's my fault and I should have tried harder. I feel like a kid pretending to be an adult. All my co-workers seem so competent while I get sat down and reminded I have to be responsible. My boss even implied (but this might just be my mind twisting things) that if my position wasn't working out that I could go back to my old student position. They might have been joking though. I don't know. I feel so down on myself, like I can never make the right call about anything and everyone else always knows what they're doing.

Sorry for the long, ranting post...I had to get it all out somewhere. On the bright side, I just told my family this and they entertained me with stories about getting reprimanded by their bosses. So I do feel a bit better now.