Darkness Ascendant Posted September 3, 2015 Report Share Posted September 3, 2015 (edited) Post ur bad jokes here. Edited September 6, 2015 by Pleasant Peasant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edgedancer Posted September 3, 2015 Report Share Posted September 3, 2015 Hey, what do you call it, when there's two Bad jokes united!!? Bad jokes divided! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kipper Posted September 3, 2015 Report Share Posted September 3, 2015 What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale :P Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blad3mast3r Posted September 3, 2015 Report Share Posted September 3, 2015 Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted September 4, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 4, 2015 I sold my vacuum the other day.... All it was doing was collecting dust!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThirdGen Posted September 5, 2015 Report Share Posted September 5, 2015 (edited) Why did the hamburger cross the road? I dunno, it was on a roll. "Dr. Frankenstein was way more muscular than that. Dude was ripped." "How do you know that?" "He was a bodybuilder." Edited September 5, 2015 by ThirdGen 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted September 5, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2015 What's the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaellok Posted September 5, 2015 Report Share Posted September 5, 2015 How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking! ... jk, rolling 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allomancy Posted September 5, 2015 Report Share Posted September 5, 2015 A man walked into a bar and said ouch. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted September 5, 2015 Report Share Posted September 5, 2015 How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking! ... jk, rolling Not technically a joke, but... 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted September 6, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2015 (edited) God these jokes are so bad I was like and then my friend told me and I wuz like . But then I told him But then I thought And, well, meh AND THEN U WILL ALL BE LIKE Edited September 6, 2015 by Pleasant Peasant 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Honor Spren Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 (edited) I have a few elephant jokes. . . How do you keep an elephant from charging? You take away its credit card. Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out wildfires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks. Why do elephants wear sandals? So that they don't sink into the sand. Why do ostriches stick their heads under the sand? To look for elephants who forgot to wear sandals. What is the difference between an elephant and a plum? Elephants are gray, while plums are purple. What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants? "Oh look, a herd of elephants!" What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants wearing disguises? "Oh look, a herd of strangers!" What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of giraffes? "Ha! Stupid elephants! You fooled me once, but it won't happen again!" What did Jane say when she saw a herd of elephants? "Oh look, a herd of plums!" (Jane is colorblind) Edited September 7, 2015 by The Honor Spren 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted September 7, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 What do u call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile How do u know diarrhea is hereditic? It runs in ur jeans! What. Did. Batman, say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistrunner Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 Probably my favorite joke ever. Q: Why couldn't Beethoven find his music teacher? A: He was Haydn! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted September 7, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 Probably my favorite joke ever. Q: Why couldn't Beethoven find his music teacher? A: He was Haydn! Who's Hayden? (jks) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RippleGylf Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 @Peasant He's a fairly well-known classical composer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParadoxicalZen Posted September 7, 2015 Report Share Posted September 7, 2015 Who're are the coolest people in the Hospital? The Ultra-sound people What do you get when you cross a Joke and Rhetorical question? A few peope were gathered by a grave because a report came in of the groundsman hearing these strange noises. One of the people recognised the sounds as Beethoven's 9th being played, but only backwards. This went on for a while until the noises stopped...only for them to start up again. This time the person recognised it again as Beethoven's 8th, again being played backwards. This time, another person arrives and hears the music and laughs 'Oh, it's only Beethoven decomposing' (i cannot remember exactly how this joke goes, but it is actually 'sorta' funny. This is just the gist of it 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted September 8, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 Who're are the coolest people in the Hospital? The Ultra-sound people What do you get when you cross a Joke and Rhetorical question? A few peope were gathered by a grave because a report came in of the groundsman hearing these strange noises. One of the people recognised the sounds as Beethoven's 9th being played, but only backwards. This went on for a while until the noises stopped...only for them to start up again. This time the person recognised it again as Beethoven's 8th, again being played backwards. This time, another person arrives and hears the music and laughs 'Oh, it's only Beethoven decomposing' (i cannot remember exactly how this joke goes, but it is actually 'sorta' funny. This is just the gist of it Decomposing...heheheh..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jondesu Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 A multiple choice dad joke is a pop quiz. jW 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaellok Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 @Peasant He's a fairly well-known classical composer. Important note that Haydn is pronounced like hidin' (or like hide'n go seek) Q: What's black and white and red and black and white and red and black and white and red all over? A: a nun with a chainsaw falling down the stairs A man walked into a bar. And that was how he lost the world limbo championship. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kipper Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 Q: What's black and white and read all over? A: A newspaper. Q: What's green and yellow and red all over? A: A frog in a blender. Note: These jokes should be asked one after the other to an unsuspecting person, for the greatest effect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delightful Posted September 8, 2015 Report Share Posted September 8, 2015 Q: What's black and white and red and black and white and red and black and white and red all over? A: a nun with a chainsaw falling down the stairs . That's not funny. That's horrific. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Ascendant Posted September 9, 2015 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2015 Important note that Haydn is pronounced like hidin' (or like hide'n go seek) Q: What's black and white and red and black and white and red and black and white and red all over? A: a nun with a chainsaw falling down the stairs A man walked into a bar. And that was how he lost the world limbo championship. I'm not sure whether anyone noticed. But I was joking at the time I posted it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skaa Posted September 14, 2015 Report Share Posted September 14, 2015 I have a very bad joke, and it goes something like this: Knock, knock. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoid Is Dead Posted September 14, 2015 Report Share Posted September 14, 2015 I sold my vacuum the other day.... All it was doing was collecting dust!! I thought because it sucked. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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