ThirdGen Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 I left mine out on the curb. None of the animals wanted to come near it. Nature abhors a vacuum. 3
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 Did you hear the one about the cat on the roof? Never mind. It's over your head. 1
Zathoth Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 A comedian was buried today, they gave him a 21 pun salute. 1
mail-mi he/him Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 I have a very bad joke, and it goes something like this: Knock, knock. Who's there?
skaa he/him Posted September 14, 2015 Posted September 14, 2015 (edited) Who's there? (I was just gonna leave you hanging, but I'll explain the bad joke to make it worse: There's nobody there when you open the door. ) Next, here's a bad limerick: There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C. Edited September 14, 2015 by skaa 7
The Honor Spren she/her Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 And another one like it: You can only ran through a camp because it's in past tense Past Tents Two fish are in a tank. They look at each other and say. "How do we drive this thing?" How many ADHD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go ride bikes. 5
Frosted Flakes Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 I just bought a new pair of shoes from my drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day! 4
The Honor Spren she/her Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 (edited) Credit to SirOP on imgur Edited October 17, 2015 by The Honor Spren 3
Pestis the Spider she/her Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 (edited) Well, I know quite a lot of chemistry jokes. But last time I told one there was no reaction. But oh well, let's try: Two men walk into a bar, the first orders some H2O. The 2nd one says ‘sounds good, I’ll have some H2O too’. The second man died. Edited October 17, 2015 by Pestis the Spider 5
Guest Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Heisenberg and Schrödinger get pulled over for speeding. The cop asks Heisenberg "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies, "No, but we know exactly where we are!" The officer looks at him confused and says "you were going 108 miles per hour!" Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, "Great! Now we're lost!" The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk. "A cat," Schrödinger replies. The cop opens the trunk and yells "Hey! This cat is dead." Schrödinger angrily replies, "Well he is now."
Mashadar Mistborn he/him Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 Someone threw NaCl at me! That's a salt. (Let the science jokes begin) 1
Pestis the Spider she/her Posted October 17, 2015 Posted October 17, 2015 (edited) (Let the science jokes begin) Sure. I like making bad science jokes, because all the good ones argon. Although physics jokes have potential. Edited October 17, 2015 by Pestis the Spider 3
Curiosity he/him Posted October 19, 2015 Posted October 19, 2015 What happens to dead chemists? We barium. "Wanna hear a sodium pun?" Na 4
Clanky he/him Posted October 20, 2015 Posted October 20, 2015 A neutron walks into a bar and says "how much for a drink?" The bartender replies "For you no charge" What do you call a fish that doesn't swim? Dead What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick 2
Allomancy she/her Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Studies show that people who have more birthdays tend to live longer. 100% of people that drink water die. Have a nice trip! See you next fall! (Say that when someone trips. Or after.) A man was building a house. He finished, but had one brick left. So he threw it into the air. A lady and a man were sitting in a plane. The lady had a dog, and the man had a cigar. The lady asked if the man would get rid of his cigar by throwing it out the window, because it was bugging her. He said that he would do it, but only if she would throw her dog out too. They did, but the dog was on a leash. WHAT WAS IN THE DOG'S MOUTH? 1
Allomancy she/her Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 A brick?DINGDINGDINGDINGDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!No, a Stick nope.
The Honor Spren she/her Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 A man is in a bar, and sees some women with very beautiful hair he walks up to the first one who has dirty blond hair and asks, "Is your hair natural?" "Yes," she replies. "I've highlighted it a few times, but besides that, yeah, it's all natural." He goes to the next woman who has red hair and asks, "Is your hair natural?" "I've had it dyed before, but besides that, it's all natural." He finds the third woman, who's hair is a bright fluorescent green. "Is your hair natural?" He asks, expecting her to reply with a negative exclamation. She wipes her nose with her hand and her hand keeps going till she's smoothing her hair. "Oh yeah. It's all natural." 3
Darkness Ascendant he/him Posted February 9, 2016 Author Posted February 9, 2016 I never realised this thread would continue since I left 7 months ago. Well now I'm back andI will begin to fling out the Bad Jokes (They're like my cousins who come in dozens) I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me 1
mattig89ch he/him Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Why do vampires believe everything you tell them? Because they're suckers!
Darkness Ascendant he/him Posted March 24, 2016 Author Posted March 24, 2016 Why do vampires believe everything you tell them? Because they're suckers! this is what i want to see here. BAD jokes A man is in a bar, and sees some women with very beautiful hair he walks up to the first one who has dirty blond hair and asks, "Is your hair natural?" "Yes," she replies. "I've highlighted it a few times, but besides that, yeah, it's all natural." He goes to the next woman who has red hair and asks, "Is your hair natural?" "I've had it dyed before, but besides that, it's all natural." He finds the third woman, who's hair is a bright fluorescent green. "Is your hair natural?" He asks, expecting her to reply with a negative exclamation. She wipes her nose with her hand and her hand keeps going till she's smoothing her hair. "Oh yeah. It's all natural." See this crem. It's a GOOD joke. A dyslexic man walks into a rba He then went to buy camouflage trousers ut couldn't find any. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good. . .) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. 1
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