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[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

To change the topic.....another terror attack today. 8 people run over including a baby girl who's now in hospital; an armed civilian managed to shoot the terrorist before he could get out the car and continue attacking with an axe he had with him.

 

Oh great Noodly One.  

[Pestis the Spider she/her]

Well, I get that is why they want to start relationship fast. But I can't do it. I am way too shy, I have trust, control and anxiety issues and I am generally socially incapable. I can do it, but I need to do it slowly. And dating someone or even just being friends with someone that can't possibly understand that I am shy and feel insecure is really difficult. To be honest, the way I see it is that some people are just desperate to be in relationship now, fast and instantly. I mean, if I agree to go for a date and clearly communicate that yes, I am romantically interested, then what's the hurry? If I wouldn't interested I would communicate that clearly the moment the first question about the date is asked. But apparently guys are desperate (or something) and they just need to meet everyday, make extra surprises (even when I said I'm gonna be busy) and in general (in my opinion) rush the relationship. And that makes me really uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that I actually break up the relationship even when I am still clearly in love with the guy, because I just can't take it. As Delightful said, I would actually just prefer how it goes, instead of trying to force it one direction, and that is what I feel that guys try to do to me. (Note: When I say "guys", I mean only a few, as I have terribly low dating experience.)

 

As for hating part: The guy that told me he hates me was actually the one, who put me in their friendzone (or so I thought, but I didn't really mind).

 

And internet is a blessing. Online chatting is really easier, but I am actually still to shy to even approach someone on a personal level. I am only find with forums, but as for private messaging I really need someone to approach me, as I have some problems with doing so (again, shy). The problem with online chatting and then changing it to relationship is proximity. I mean, maybe if I actually went on some dating sites I would fins someone with shared interests nearby, but otherwise it's difficult. I mean that for over seven years I have a crush on my longest known friend, who I know only online, because he used to live 400km from me when I was a teen, and now that I am adult he lives 2000km from me. Well, and he has a girlfriend all the time. I feel totally friendzoned. 

 

Life is hard. And yes, I know I have a lot of weird problems. Not everyone can be normal, right? 

 

PS Sorry, I noticed that you changed topic. It's just writing this post took me a longer time. 

[The Honor Spren she/her]

Wow. That topic caught on quickly. 

For now, I'll just go for friends. I have zero interest in dating.

Plus I just realized I've never even held hands with a guy, dancing excluded. And I'd like to keep it that way, just for now.

Thanks for all the advice guys! Sorry for the rambly response!

 

Edit: @Delightful Goodness    Having that happen is so awful, I almost want to downvote. All I can really do is pray that group is stopped soon. 

Edited December 14, 2015 by The Honor Spren

[ChickenPlague he/him]

That's very sad. Actually that is horrible. Actually this is stupid. Actually it's all of the above.

[Delightful]

That's very sad. Actually that is horrible. Actually this is stupid. Actually it's all of the above.

It's also hateful, inexcusable, barbaric, and I could go on but I won't because I like my blood pressure at normal levels.

And.....there's a ""small"" attack (ie one or two casualties, or the terrorist is stopped before they can actually cause harm) every couple days. You just have to block it out on some level so you can function as a human being in society. And I hate that. I want to sit and cry and hear stories about every single person who is hurt. But I also need to go out and dance and combat hate with love and fearlessness.

This life thing is complicated. I hope I'm doing things right.

[Voidus]

It's also hateful, inexcusable, barbaric, and I could go on but I won't because I like my blood pressure at normal levels.

And.....there's a ""small"" attack (ie one or two casualties, or the terrorist is stopped before they can actually cause harm) every couple days. You just have to block it out on some level so you can function as a human being in society. And I hate that. I want to sit and cry and hear stories about every single person who is hurt. But I also need to go out and dance and combat hate with love and fearlessness.

This life thing is complicated. I hope I'm doing things right.

 

That's just horrible.

People need to read more books I think. It gets you into the habit of putting yourself in someone else's mindset.

Make literature, not war!

[+Slowswift]

That's just horrible.

People need to read more books I think. It gets you into the habit of putting yourself in someone else's mindset.

Make literature, not war!

 

New life motto.

[Mistrunner]

How.

How can someone do something so barbaric, so horrific, so inhuman and justify it.

How can they go to sleep at night without seeing the faces of the people they killed for no reason other than that they were not exactly like them, without imagining mothers and spouses and friends weeping over graves, without hearing the voices of children begging to see their parents again.

How can they live with themselves, knowing the anguish and pain and anger they've struck into people's hearts and knowing that it was their choice to do it.

How can someone possibly imagine that killing a busful of children is okay. How can someone, in their wildest dreams, think that this is for the greater good.

Tell me how.

I just can't. Not anymore. At first I was just sad when these things happened, and I still am. But now I'm also angry. I'm so angry at these lunatics.

And on a different reason it's a bad day, my aunt is dying.

She has a very aggressive, very rare form of cancer that's been steadily sapping away her life. They say she's got days. Maybe hours.

She's an amazing person. She stayed strong throughout it all, even though she was fighting a horrible disease that was probably very painful, as were the treatments. She's such a wonderful example and I know she'll be going to a better place where she'll never feel that pain again.

It still hurts for those left behind, though.

[Orlion Blight he/him]

I'm sorry Mist  

 

There's many things I reference in tough times, this time around I'll reference this John Milton poem:

 

On Time

John Milton, 1608 - 1674

Fly envious Time, till thou run out thy race,
Call on the lazy leaden-stepping hours,
Whose speed is but the heavy Plummets pace;
And glut thy self with what thy womb devours,
Which is no more then what is false and vain,
And meerly mortal dross;
So little is our loss,
So little is thy gain.
For when as each thing bad thou hast entomb’d,
And last of all, thy greedy self consum’d,
Then long Eternity shall greet our bliss
With an individual kiss;
And Joy shall overtake us as a flood,
When every thing that is sincerely good
And perfectly divine,
With Truth, and Peace, and Love shall ever shine
About the supreme Throne
Of him, t’whose happy-making sight alone,
When once our heav’nly-guided soul shall clime,
Then all this Earthy grosnes quit,
Attir’d with Stars, we shall for ever sit,
Triumphing over Death, and Chance, and thee O Time.

[Delightful]

The....the baby injured in the attack has lost his leg.

:,( noooooooo.

Mist runner: I don't know about elsewhere, but here, they firstly don't usually have to live with it because they're shot in the act, and regardless Palestinian society honours them as holy martyrs and they get streets and soccer stadiums named after them and their mothers go on TV talking about how proud they are that their children have died for Allah, and the PA pays the family a salary, and if a terrorist is imprisoned they get a salary from the PA too. Plus if they die they believe they get 70 virgins in heaven so, not much going against them.

Edited December 15, 2015 by Delightful

[kaellok he/him]

And on a different reason it's a bad day, my aunt is dying.

She has a very aggressive, very rare form of cancer that's been steadily sapping away her life. They say she's got days. Maybe hours.

She's an amazing person. She stayed strong throughout it all, even though she was fighting a horrible disease that was probably very painful, as were the treatments. She's such a wonderful example and I know she'll be going to a better place where she'll never feel that pain again.

It still hurts for those left behind, though.

I'm very sorry about your aunt.  It's so damned hard to watch someone you love waste away in a battle that cannot be won.  Words are so storming inadequate sometimes.  I watched my grandfather waste away from ALS.  I saw my old boss's wife (one of the coolest/best people I've ever known) slowly succumb to cancer.  Nothing anybody could have said to me back then would have helped, and so I'm not sure that anything I can say will help you.  Just--remember her, as she was.  Talk about your memories of her with friends and loved ones, to remind yourselves and each other of her.  So that in a way, she'll still be around.  And so that the memories can be strengthened, and you can share her with others in generations to come.

[Seonid he/him]

The....the baby injured in the attack has lost his leg.

:,( noooooooo.

Mist runner: I don't know about elsewhere, but here, they firstly don't usually have to live with it because they're shot in the act, and regardless Palestinian society honours them as holy martyrs and they get streets and soccer stadiums named after them and their mothers go on TV talking about how proud they are that their children have died for Allah, and the PA pays the family a salary, and if a terrorist is imprisoned they get a salary from the PA too. Plus if they die they believe they get 70 virgins in heaven so, not much going against them.

 

These sorts of attacks depress me.

 

I cannot fathom the worldview that spawns them. Not on any level. And in a future day, they will be held accountable for their evil. And we should do all in our power to find those who perpetrate them before they do and stop them.

 

With that said, #NotAllMuslims are like that. And especially #NotAllPalestinians. There is a lot of hate in Palestine, and a lot of it is directed towards Israel. This is true. But the (silent) majority of Palestinians want to live in peace. And the hate has reasons - none that justify terrorist attacks (at all!) - but the hate did not just spring up out of nowhere.

 

The Western world is in a war with militant/radical Islam. Anyone who disputes this is blind. But the billion and a half Muslims around the world are not the enemy. They are the battleground. And every time we tar all Muslims with the extremist brush - when we treat them as terrorists waiting to happen, the terrorists take one step closer to winning on that battleground.

 

There is a way out of this situation, but it requires everyone - on both sides - to see each other as real people, to understand that they have real grievances, to cease demonization and marginalization and to do the hard work of letting each other become vulnerable and building trust. The walls in our hearts (on both sides) have to come down. Or else there will never be an end to this.

[Delightful]

Not all Muslims, not all Palestinians. Maybe not even a majority. But a significant enough proportion of them, and when they glorify and honour terror, I don't see how they can stop hating us enough to actually give peace a shot.

You're right, the hate didn't come from nowhere. ISIS didn't come from nowhere. It's jihad.

There's a saying, and I don't remember who said it first: if the Arab world/Palestinians put down their weapons, there would be no more war. If Israel (/insert, the West) put down their weapons there would be no more Israel."

For all the people I know personally, and opinion articles etc from the Israeli side, this holds true. More than anything else Israelis want peace - more than the land that the Jews have yearned for thousands of years to return to. Most Israelis would hand over land today if it would bring peace, if it would mean we'd stop being attacked in the streets and there didn't have to be mandatory military service for everyone, if it meant that everyone would not somehow know a person killed in war or terror. There's just no one on the other side to bargain with.

Edited December 15, 2015 by Delightful

[RippleGylf she/her]

So, perhaps a bit lower on the scale of bad days, but my school got evacuated for the third time this year. Fourth if you include lockdowns. And what's worst is that the sub I had when we were evacuated wouldn't let me take my flute with me. So, guess I don't get to practice today. 

[Briar King]

As I feared with with the early screening yesterday of SW ep 7 people are blasting spoilers online. I knew it so I'm glad I went darkish on Net and plan to stay so till hopefully Friday if I'm lucky enough to get to see it then.

[Curious Anamaximder he/him]

Me today for no reason:

I'm so sorry Mist.

For everyone: Some baby memes:

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

My MacBook Pro has been running slowly lately. I've uninstalled Steam and a few other apps that were probably slowing it down, but I'll still get the spinning wheel of death after switching between Safari and Word, or when making a new paragraph on Word. It's been installing the same update for Word for the past ten minutes. I don't have all that much memory in use, and it's only two or three years old....argh. It's probably a simple fix, but I have no idea what.

[Delightful]

Whatever language you want to use, people's souls, themselves, are untouchable. That she didn't allow cancer to break her spirit means that she was one heck of a strong willed lady. We should all take inspiration from that.

*endless warm squishy hugs*.

[Seonid he/him]

Last complaint about finals week until April, I hope. Almost done with my stupid paper, but this has been one of the most traumatic experiences of my college career.

[+Slowswift]

Last complaint about finals week until April, I hope. Almost done with my stupid paper, but this has been one of the most traumatic experiences of my college career.

 

Which is proof that they [the school] are doing it wrong. Gah, school is a pain. Best of luck, though!

[Pestis the Spider she/her]

Sorry guys, I might sound rude now, especially in the light of recent terrorist attack discussion here and Mistrunner's loss. I really do apologise for that, and please try to forgive me, but I really want to know the answer. I would be grateful if you could all reply my 100% truthfully. If you don't want to do it in public, you can reply in PM, I don't mind.  And please bear in mind that I am really not trying to offend anyone, really. I am really sorry if I do.  

 

So I do know that people generally tend to get sad if something bad happens to someone they know and like (at least as far as I know). But what about strangers? 

 

I noticed that a lot of people (here nad generally) seems to be very angry about for example the terrorist attacks, sad that people's lives were lost and so on. A lot of people seems to have these rather "deep thoughts", saying how aweful the whole situation is, going even as far as quoting poems. Of course that is not only true for terrorist atacks, but also everytime we hear about people dying, starving, getting hurt, loosing their houses, getting bad marks on exam and so on. So basically I noticed that people empathise with strangers, people that they never met. I think this topic is a really good example of that. 

 

I know that I probably shouldn't ask that and that I have no right to ask that, especially that I've been complaining in this thread a lot lately. But I still want to ask:

 

Do you actually mean everything you write here? Are these good, empathising words what you actually think? Do you actually feel for other people? Does hearing about the strangers deaths actually make you sad and angry? Do you actually care, feel anything? If yes, then do you think that most of other people also empathise with strangers, and feel bad for them?

 

Or do people say all these good things just because society expects it? Or because it makes people look good, when they say that they're sorry?

 

I know this is a weird question. I apologise for that. But please, please, answer me truthfully. I am really trying to figure something out, and I'll be grateful if you can help me. 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Sorry guys, I might sound rude now, especially in the light of recent terrorist attack discussion here and Mistrunner's loss. I really do apologise for that, and please try to forgive me, but I really want to know the answer. I would be grateful if you could all reply my 100% truthfully. If you don't want to do it in public, you can reply in PM, I don't mind. And please bear in mind that I am really not trying to offend anyone, really. I am really sorry if I do.

So I do know that people generally tend to get sad if something bad happens to someone they know and like (at least as far as I know). But what about strangers?

I noticed that a lot of people (here nad generally) seems to be very angry about for example the terrorist attacks, sad that people's lives were lost and so on. A lot of people seems to have these rather "deep thoughts", saying how aweful the whole situation is, going even as far as quoting poems. Of course that is not only true for terrorist atacks, but also everytime we hear about people dying, starving, getting hurt, loosing their houses, getting bad marks on exam and so on. So basically I noticed that people empathise with strangers, people that they never met. I think this topic is a really good example of that.

I know that I probably shouldn't ask that and that I have no right to ask that, especially that I've been complaining in this thread a lot lately. But I still want to ask:

Do you actually mean everything you write here? Are these good, empathising words what you actually think? Do you actually feel for other people? Does hearing about the strangers deaths actually make you sad and angry? Do you actually care, feel anything? If yes, then do you think that most of other people also empathise with strangers, and feel bad for them?

Or do people say all these good things just because society expects it? Or because it makes people look good, when they say that they're sorry?

I know this is a weird question. I apologise for that. But please, please, answer me truthfully. I am really trying to figure something out, and I'll be grateful if you can help me.

When I empathize with people on here, or even with strangers elsewhere, I mean what I say. Using the terrorist attacks as an example, I've never met the people who were injured or killed or left behind by people who died in those attacks, and I never will. I don't know what their favorite colors or movies are. I don't know what they did when they were stressed or excited, or what they were planning to do with the rest of their day before the attack.

But I do know that there are people in France or Israel or California who know those things. There are people who knew those victims as more than statistics. They knew them, they loved them, and they were looking forward to seeing them before the attacks. But because of the attacks, they'll never get to. Everything they had planned with those people they knew is gone, nothing but a memory.

And that makes me sad.

[Orlion Blight he/him]

Do you actually mean everything you write here? Are these good, empathising words what you actually think? Do you actually feel for other people? Does hearing about the strangers deaths actually make you sad and angry? Do you actually care, feel anything? If yes, then do you think that most of other people also empathise with strangers, and feel bad for them?

 

Or do people say all these good things just because society expects it? Or because it makes people look good, when they say that they're sorry?

 

 

If I respond, it is because there is some empathizing going on. In other words, I'm sincere. This could be due to me feeling bad about one's plight, recognizing myself in another's struggle, or recognizing that no man is an island and that the bell tolls for me, etc.

 

It also helps me deal with issues I'm dealing with, either because I feel that others (unfortunately) do have it worse, have similar experiences, or rejoice that others have experiences that I have had and I can show them there is light at the end of those particular tunnels. It helps me connect, balance out some more... introspective aspects of my life.

 

Of course, that's me. I have my quirks (like a near-absolute-refusal to talk about anything bad in MY life) and I can not say that there are not some people who are "sorry"  merely because they feel they "ought to be" instead of from any such actual empathy. And I'm all right with that. 

[Delightful]

Sorry guys, I might sound rude now, especially in the light of recent terrorist attack discussion here and Mistrunner's loss. I really do apologise for that, and please try to forgive me, but I really want to know the answer. I would be grateful if you could all reply my 100% truthfully. If you don't want to do it in public, you can reply in PM, I don't mind. And please bear in mind that I am really not trying to offend anyone, really. I am really sorry if I do.

So I do know that people generally tend to get sad if something bad happens to someone they know and like (at least as far as I know). But what about strangers?

I noticed that a lot of people (here nad generally) seems to be very angry about for example the terrorist attacks, sad that people's lives were lost and so on. A lot of people seems to have these rather "deep thoughts", saying how aweful the whole situation is, going even as far as quoting poems. Of course that is not only true for terrorist atacks, but also everytime we hear about people dying, starving, getting hurt, loosing their houses, getting bad marks on exam and so on. So basically I noticed that people empathise with strangers, people that they never met. I think this topic is a really good example of that.

I know that I probably shouldn't ask that and that I have no right to ask that, especially that I've been complaining in this thread a lot lately. But I still want to ask:

Do you actually mean everything you write here? Are these good, empathising words what you actually think? Do you actually feel for other people? Does hearing about the strangers deaths actually make you sad and angry? Do you actually care, feel anything? If yes, then do you think that most of other people also empathise with strangers, and feel bad for them?

Or do people say all these good things just because society expects it? Or because it makes people look good, when they say that they're sorry?

I know this is a weird question. I apologise for that. But please, please, answer me truthfully. I am really trying to figure something out, and I'll be grateful if you can help me.

I mean what I say.

And I'm aware that there are so many terrible things happening that if I was heartbroken about them all I'd never be able to function. Is a weird sort of balance.

Truth is, terror attacks in Israel affect me more than elsewhere because, most of the time it's Jews being attacked because they are Jewish. I'm a Jew, and that means every other Jew is my family and that makes it very personal. I'm sometimes only 2-3 degrees of separation away from victims.

Terror attacks elsewhere hurt because I value all human life. People are meant to live and I don't know anything more horrible than killing people because you just don't like them, killing innocents. Someone who destroys a life doesn't just take that person out of the world, they take away children they might have had, innovations they might have come up with, kind words they could have said that would transform someone else's life. All of that immeasurable potential and personality and life gone, forever, just because.

When it comes to relatives of people here, I care firstly because they're human, and secondly because people here are my friends, and what hurts them hurts me.

So if I could wave a wand and erase hate and fear and anger from the world, I would. If I could click my fingers and get rid of all sicknesses and injuries I would. If I could make the world perfect, it would be perfect already, long ago.

Meanwhile, I hand out digital hugs, and sometimes advice, and do what I can.

Edited December 17, 2015 by Delightful

[Mashadar Mistborn he/him]

Sorry guys, I might sound rude now, especially in the light of recent terrorist attack discussion here and Mistrunner's loss. I really do apologise for that, and please try to forgive me, but I really want to know the answer. I would be grateful if you could all reply my 100% truthfully. If you don't want to do it in public, you can reply in PM, I don't mind.  And please bear in mind that I am really not trying to offend anyone, really. I am really sorry if I do.  

 

So I do know that people generally tend to get sad if something bad happens to someone they know and like (at least as far as I know). But what about strangers? 

 

I noticed that a lot of people (here nad generally) seems to be very angry about for example the terrorist attacks, sad that people's lives were lost and so on. A lot of people seems to have these rather "deep thoughts", saying how aweful the whole situation is, going even as far as quoting poems. Of course that is not only true for terrorist atacks, but also everytime we hear about people dying, starving, getting hurt, loosing their houses, getting bad marks on exam and so on. So basically I noticed that people empathise with strangers, people that they never met. I think this topic is a really good example of that. 

 

I know that I probably shouldn't ask that and that I have no right to ask that, especially that I've been complaining in this thread a lot lately. But I still want to ask:

 

Do you actually mean everything you write here? Are these good, empathising words what you actually think? Do you actually feel for other people? Does hearing about the strangers deaths actually make you sad and angry? Do you actually care, feel anything? If yes, then do you think that most of other people also empathise with strangers, and feel bad for them?

 

Or do people say all these good things just because society expects it? Or because it makes people look good, when they say that they're sorry?

 

I know this is a weird question. I apologise for that. But please, please, answer me truthfully. I am really trying to figure something out, and I'll be grateful if you can help me.

I do mean what I say here. The people injured or killed in terror attacks are still people, even if I did not know them personally, that does not make them less deserving of my empathy. I have always found the idea of doing something due to societal pressure only to be irritating, so that does not drive me.

I post here to add whatever little measure of good I can to someone's bad day, and I express empathy because I feel it.

And Mistrunner, have a hug.

*hugs*