Still Having a Bad Day? Exchange Your Rants For Hugs Here!

[Kaymyth she/her]

Both of my paternal grandparents moved into assisted living a while ago.  Recently, Granddaddy got moved into the Alzheimers ward because he's just been so confused and out of it.  It was still close enough, though, that my grandmother could go visit him regularly and help him with meals, etc.  She's about one of the last people left that he recognizes (they've been married for over 70 years).

 

Over the weekend, Granddaddy fell and broke his hip.  He had to be transferred to a hospital in a different town because of the level of care needed.  Mammo can't visit him anymore, so he's even more confused and isn't doing well.  His  94th birthday is in two weeks, and we're not sure that he's going to make it that far.

 

Here's the thing:  he's miserable, confused, and in pain, and the person that he's been emotionally dependent on can't be there.  Even before this happened, he was deeply unhappy with the state of things, and if he does pull through this, it's going to be a long slog and he's going to get even more disconnected from the world.  This is a World War II veteran who flew as a Navy fighter pilot; helplessness is not a thing he does well.  But he also doesn't know how to stop fighting.

 

I don't know.  Is it too much to ask from the Universe that he finally get a chance to rest now?

[The Honor Spren she/her]

I feel like nobody cares what I think. And even on here, I keep typing up long posts, overthinking them, editing them down to nothing, and giving up altogether.

I'm drowning in schoolwork I can't finish. I used to be really good at school, but I've lost motivation. I keep getting exasperation from my parents about how I don't do things and how I need to but nothing is interesting, and when it is, it's horribly awkward because I hardly know anyone and it's not fun at all.

Parents keep telling me to talk to people, put myself out there. I try, and I keep trying, but it never works.

I just need some time away from the world and its breakneck pace that somehow makes a week pass by at the pace of a snail and a jet plane at the same time, but I can't have any, and life keeps rushing onward, dragging me behind it.

Oh my goodness, we are twins. I seriously know how you feel. I'm going through the exact same same things right now. We should make a club!

PETITION FOR BENDALLOY BUBBLES UNITED

Are you drowning in life, and wish you could just spend 12+ hours in a speed bubble, to catch up on everything? Apply now, and we'll include a free meme!

*hugs*

Edit: hmmm, that was a little late, and everyone else gave better advice, but what ever. I'm still making a club.

Edited December 9, 2015 by The Honor Spren

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Both of my paternal grandparents moved into assisted living a while ago. Recently, Granddaddy got moved into the Alzheimers ward because he's just been so confused and out of it. It was still close enough, though, that my grandmother could go visit him regularly and help him with meals, etc. She's about one of the last people left that he recognizes (they've been married for over 70 years).

Over the weekend, Granddaddy fell and broke his hip. He had to be transferred to a hospital in a different town because of the level of care needed. Mammo can't visit him anymore, so he's even more confused and isn't doing well. His 94th birthday is in two weeks, and we're not sure that he's going to make it that far.

Here's the thing: he's miserable, confused, and in pain, and the person that he's been emotionally dependent on can't be there. Even before this happened, he was deeply unhappy with the state of things, and if he does pull through this, it's going to be a long slog and he's going to get even more disconnected from the world. This is a World War II veteran who flew as a Navy fighter pilot; helplessness is not a thing he does well. But he also doesn't know how to stop fighting.

I don't know. Is it too much to ask from the Universe that he finally get a chance to rest now?

I'm so sorry. I'm not sure what else to say, so....hug?

[The Honor Spren she/her]

Both of my paternal grandparents moved into assisted living a while ago. Recently, Granddaddy got moved into the Alzheimers ward because he's just been so confused and out of it. It was still close enough, though, that my grandmother could go visit him regularly and help him with meals, etc. She's about one of the last people left that he recognizes (they've been married for over 70 years).

Over the weekend, Granddaddy fell and broke his hip. He had to be transferred to a hospital in a different town because of the level of care needed. Mammo can't visit him anymore, so he's even more confused and isn't doing well. His 94th birthday is in two weeks, and we're not sure that he's going to make it that far.

Here's the thing: he's miserable, confused, and in pain, and the person that he's been emotionally dependent on can't be there. Even before this happened, he was deeply unhappy with the state of things, and if he does pull through this, it's going to be a long slog and he's going to get even more disconnected from the world. This is a World War II veteran who flew as a Navy fighter pilot; helplessness is not a thing he does well. But he also doesn't know how to stop fighting.

I don't know. Is it too much to ask from the Universe that he finally get a chance to rest now?

I am also very sorry.

I would tell you that he might, at least, go spirit paradise soon, but I don't really know what your beliefs on the afterlife are. So, just accept my apology and hug. *big warm hug*

[Briar King]

It's going to be hard when the last of The Greatest Generation is gone.

My girl is 12 Max

[Kaymyth she/her]

I'm so sorry. I'm not sure what else to say, so....hug?

 

 

I am also very sorry.

I would tell you that he might, at least, go spirit paradise soon, but I don't really know what your beliefs on the afterlife are. So, just accept my apology and hug. *big warm hug*

 

 

This.

My grandma was in much the same position a few years ago. She's worked her entire life, and she ended up with some form of Alzheimer's or dementia as well as old age that made it so she couldn't do anything but watch Little House on the Prarie. She wasn't quite... there. It's really hard seeing a relative who's usually so warm and hardworking like that. *double hugs*

 

Thanks.  My inner child is sticking her fingers in her ears, squeezing her eyes shut, and insisting that her grandparents are immortal.    Adult Me will get through this.  Gods know I've been through worse.

[Guest]

It's going to be hard when the last of The Greatest Generation is gone.

My girl is 12 Max

 

Alright, what does she likes? Is she a girly girly girl or not?

[Kestrel she/her]

That sad feel when someone replies to all their rps but the one with you and you can't decide what it means so you just kinda. :/

Also, I still need to work up the courage to talk to someone close to me about my depression/anxiety with everything, and ask for advice, but. I can't.

[Briar King]

Haha! She's a tomboy that's just starting to get into the girly phase. So I figured I'd for sure get her the Star Wars Cover Girl makeup set. Probably some Legos and a PS3/4 game. She loves playing with my sons action figures with him so she'll definitely play with what I buy for him. I'm just at a loss for getting her something exclusive.

[Guest]

Haha! She's a tomboy that's just starting to get into the girly phase. So I figured I'd for sure get her the Star Wars Cover Girl makeup set. Probably some Legos and a PS3/4 game. She loves playing with my sons action figures with him so she'll definitely play with what I buy for him. I'm just at a loss for getting her something exclusive.

 

Here are a few spontaneous ideas I believe are suitable for a girl her age:

 

How about Lego from the Friends or the Elves collection? They are girly and exclusive. My neighbor older daughters really love those.

 

How about a mood cube? I have seen this thing while googling the other day...

 

http://www.amazon.ca/Colour-Changing-LED-Mood-Cube/dp/B004FBKHZ8

 

Exactly the kind of stuff a young soon to be teenager would love to have. All teenagers love to personalize their room... 

 

If you are going for the make-up thing, than an additional whatever exist thingy to do her nails... There are kits which comes with many colors and sparkles you can put on them. All teenage girls like to do their nails... well most of them, still a very popular thing to do.

 

Stuff to make her own bracelets... or necklace or any piece of jewelry. A jewelry box? Does she likes arts and craft? You get her one of those she can decorate.

 

A pack of various lip balm and lip glosses? All kind of color and flavors and smell? 

 

Colored hair extensions?

 

A pink skateboard?

 

If she is into sports, then tickets to go see her favorite sport team with you? Daddy and girl's night out 

 

Tickets for a music show by an artist she likes? Or a ITunes gift card? If she isn't into music yet, she's likely to be, soon.

 

Headphones for when she listens to her music?

 

A subscription to one of those teenage girl's magazine?

 

Lessons into an activity she has shown interest in? Rock-climbing? Or if you are out of idea, just treat her with any activity she likes, just you and her. Or movie tickets so she can go with her friends?

 

A crystal growing kit... Girls love crystals... 

 

I am sure you have thought of it... but books? She's old enough for the popular YA stuff...

 

Anything you think she may like?

[Kestrel she/her]

Haha! She's a tomboy that's just starting to get into the girly phase. So I figured I'd for sure get her the Star Wars Cover Girl makeup set. Probably some Legos and a PS3/4 game. She loves playing with my sons action figures with him so she'll definitely play with what I buy for him. I'm just at a loss for getting her something exclusive.

get her her own action figures.

[The Honor Spren she/her]

Get her the first four Alcatraz books.

[Kestrel she/her]

Get her something you'd think she'd actually like rather than falling into the trap of gendered marketing (which, by the way, is bad for your child's individuality and growth).

[The Honor Spren she/her]

SANDERSON IS BEST FOR EVERYBODY. Plus, Bastille is a good strong female character who is around 13.

Edited December 9, 2015 by The Honor Spren

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

If she likes mysteries and quirk, I'd also recommend Lemony Snicket's All the Wrong Questions series. They have all of the trademark Snicket oddness, as well as a really well done noir element. Although the main character is male, he works alongside some smart and likable female characters, and an ongoing plot thread is what's going on with his sister. So in a way, young Lemony's character is defined by the female characters in his life, which is refreshing to see.

[Kaymyth she/her]

ThinkGeek has cool stuff for everyone!

 

SANDERSON IS BEST FOR EVERYBODY. Plus, Bastille is a good strong female character who is around 13.

 

Bastille is also a really good band.

[Kestrel she/her]

SANDERSON IS BEST FOR EVERYBODY. Plus, Bastille is a good strong female character who is around 13.

it was a general comment. I wholeheartedly agree with your statement.

[Briar King]

Good suggestions Max. Have rep!

Unfortunately she isn't a reader. I hope that changes soon.

Lark, I planned on getting her an action figure or 3 already yeah.

[Zathoth]

Have you asked them what they want?

[Guest]

Get her something you'd think she'd actually like rather than falling into the trap of gendered marketing (which, by the way, is bad for your child's individuality and growth).

 

A gift should please the person who receives it, no matter what it may be.

 

While it is tempting to bash gendered marketing it would be wise to remember it works both ways. Simply because a gift is labelled as "for girls" does not make it negative for your child's individuality and growth. What is negative is to force the child to ignore its own preferences and to choose within a predefined set of artifacts we personally approve of. By stating nail polish or lip gloss are superficial and frivolous to a child who is genuinely interested into these things we are in fact using our own preconceptions to gear this child's tastes towards what we perceive as superior. We are also telling that same child its personal interests aren't worthy or acceptable. We send the message typically girly toys are lesser and inferior to typically boyish toys while forgetting there are many little girls who take active pleasure in wearing the puffy pink princess dress just as there are many little boys who likes to play with cars. One is not "better" than the other. Playing with cars help with spacial vision and early mathematics, but playing with clothing and pretending to be someone else help with affirming one's personality and developing social skills. Both toys have their own value.

 

It is therefore not the item by itself that is negative, but the pressure put on a child to choose within a predefined set of toys and to ignore its own preferences and these may be geared towards gendered marketed item. If many on the forum wished they had been allowed to embrace their geekish side more easily, think of the reverse... Wouldn't the kid who wants to play football feel the same way in front of a bookish parent who thinks it is not an intellectual worthy activity and would deny it because it is attached to a stereotype? If we want to remove labels from toys, then we have to do it both ways which means letting girls play with dolls should they wish to and boy play hockey should they wish to even if these are stereotypes.

 

Briar King stated his 12 years old daughter has started to explore her girly side. I therefore suggested a various list of items which would allow her to do just that in a fun and playful way. If she uses her nail polish or her bracelet making kit or her Star Wars make-up to define her own style to mirror her inner personality, then she is in fact affirming her individuality. She is making a statement about herself and that is not negative. She could also try it and realize she does not enjoy it, but either way she is growing. It is the parent's task to accompany a growing child within the identity definition phase and sort through what the child wants and what the child thinks she should want.

 

 

Good suggestions Max. Have rep!

Unfortunately she isn't a reader. I hope that changes soon.

Lark, I planned on getting her an action figure or 3 already yeah.

 

Cool. I hope you'll find the right gift for your girl. 

[Delightful]

Have you asked them what they want?

Pffft you're actually suggesting communication? That's not allowed!

:P :P :P

[Kaymyth she/her]

Granddaddy was taken off oxygen today, and passed away this evening.  He would have turned 94 on the 21st.  May his mind finally be clear of the confusion wrought from the frailties of his physical form. 

 

(My husband proceeded to snuggle-hover over me until I reassured him that I was all right.)

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Granddaddy was taken off oxygen today, and passed away this evening. He would have turned 94 on the 21st. May his mind finally be clear of the confusion wrought from the frailties of his physical form.

(My husband proceeded to snuggle-hover over me until I reassured him that I was all right.)

I'm so sorry. I'm glad he's at peace, but it's still hard for the people he left behind.

[Kaymyth she/her]

I'm so sorry. I'm glad he's at peace, but it's still hard for the people he left behind.

 

It was harder seeing him in that state.  My mental image of my grandparents continues to be the younger, vibrant versions of themselves they were when I was a kid spending weekend at their house.  (They would totally let me stay up late to watch Doctor Who on the local PBS station. You know, back in the days when Classic Who was the only Who.)

 

Anyway, according to my own personal theology, he'll hang around for a bit to bid goodbyes at the funeral, and then move on.  I strongly suspect, though, that he won't go any farther than the City of the Dead; he'll wait for my grandmother before he moves on to any sort of proper afterlife/reincarnation/whatevertheychoosetodofromthere.

[Pestis the Spider she/her]

So. Today I went to see psychologist for the first time in my life. I basically learnt that I might have worse mental and neurological problems than I ever considered. But what's important is that they told me that I definitely need some sort of help. Th GP and student counsellor also said so.

 

And all my life I was told that I am just exaggerating and that I don't have any problems. But the moment I started talking to proffesionals they all said that I do.

 

I just feel like my whole life was a lie.