Mental health club!

[Keke They/he]

3 minutes ago, Just A Silvereye said:

 

Oh my guy *big big hug*

You've had an awful lot to deal with in your whole life, and especially in recent months. You have every right to be in a bad place and to feel upset. Anyone, anyone, would be if they in your place.

You have every right to worry about stuff that might happen and affect you negatively, especially if that stuff already happened and affected you negatively and you are going to be in similar circumstances. Hell, it's so normal there's even a saying for that in my native language - chat échaudé craint l'eau froide, a cat who got burned [by boiling water] will fear even cold water. (There's certainly an equivalent one in English I can't think of right now.)

You aren't awful or ugly for your struggles. You're just a human with human feelings, under a lot of pressure. There's no shame in feeling bad or upset, or in reacting in the same way as many other people did before and after you. (I am not saying here that sh is good for you - it certainly isn't. What I am saying, is that feeling those urges and acting on them is not something you should beat yourself for.

(Sidenote: I understand to some degree how freaking hard it is to resist those urges. So the fact that you did, and many times according to your posts in the past few months, is absolutely incredible, and tells you are much stronger than you probably think you are.

Don't beat yourself up for the times you gave in in a moment of despair and confusion. But be proud of all the times when you regained a clear mind and resisted.

Okay parenthesis in parenthesis ends here))

You have every right to want the people you love to love you, and to love you as you are. What your father is saying to you is horrible, and you should feel upset about it, as any normal person would be.

 

I know how hard it feels, when all you can see is darkness and you start to think there is no end to it. But I promise you that, as Haly said, you will be warm again. It might feel distant, but I promise you that there is an end to the tunnel somewhere, and you're getting closer to it everyday.

*hugs tight and close*

 

 

Hi and welcome dear newcomer!

Don't be sorry for rambling, this thread is here for that

I'm sorry you had to go through all that *hugs* And glad you could get out of it.

What you're saying about trying to enjoy the moments you have is honestly very wise. It's how I've been trying to approche stuff recently too. Not that it always worked though. But it's still helpful.

And yeah, your methods might be nothing new under the sun, but it's still the best we've all got, so reminding it to us doesn't hurt.

 

Btw @Hawks I want you to know how grateful I am (and many others are certainly) for creating this thread. It helped me so much in tough times, and I honestly think it, and the support y'all showed through all this, is one of the reasons this year winded up better than the last. (Well that wasn't a high bar to clear, but it still didn't look like it would be so a couple months ago.) You did so much good here, you have no idea.

Words cant express how freaking awesome this whole post is. *hugs*

Thank you so much silver. This was so sk helpful. Your awesome *hugs*

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

1 hour ago, Hawks said:

Guys im going insane.

Now talk bc this is why I actually came on this rn

  Reveal hidden contents

Whats the best way to get over stuff like abandonment issues?cause yall if I dont get at word from my friends for longer then two days I oanic and its kowkey annoying cause then I like talk to them alot then they get on and like dude chill cause I was doing my own stuff like guys what?

 

Uuuh... idk sadly

I'm usually more the one who does that sadly

But I guess I can offer... some kind of perspective from the other side

Not sure it applies to your friends though, this is likely more of a me thing

Spoiler

So often, when someone calls/ text me, and I feel not too well/overwhelmed/other... I tend to not answer, at least not immediately, because I can't bring myself to

It doesn't mean I don't care, not at all

It rather means that... I'm busy/tired/overwhelmed/other

But I still care about the sender

 

Of course I shouldn't do that, especially since I feel bad about it and so it feeds into those kinds of negative spirals 

 

 

But yeah maybe now i'm on the receiving end of that with my school it will change lol

The amount of stress that would go away if they just answered is so ridiculous

 

 

Also re: the religion conv because I forgot about that somehow

Spoiler

While my religious background is somewhat weird, now that I've sorted it all out, I consider myself as a Christian-values-aligned agnostic who agrees with most of @Kaladin Stormcursed said. I don't think I ever felt the presence of God in my life. And yeah, I think I can go on without.

This said, I do consider Jesus' general philosophy as like the basis of what makes life in society possible. In fact, most of the nicest and coolest people I've met in my life are devout believers.

So if you believe, and it brings you good, then great for you! I don't have any right to tell you how to live your spiritual life (your non-spiritual life as well btw), I don't have more or less answers than you. I just don't think I need the presence of a God I don't think exists to live.

 

Spoiler

Oh and if you're wondering whether Sharders are included in the "nicest and coolest people I have met in my life" 

Spoiler

Well yes, many of them in fact

Spoiler

More specifically, I was thinking to three communities I have been lucky to make some way with at various points in my life, of which the Shard is one

 

 

 

 

Edit: wow this took really longer than I thought 

Again

 

 

Also I can't add quotes in an edit but imagine I'm quoting @Hawks' message right above: 

 

Thanks for the kind words  I'm glad I was able to help you *hugs again*

Edited May 25, 2025 by Just A Silvereye

[Keke They/he]

7 hours ago, Just A Silvereye said:

Uuuh... idk sadly

I'm usually more the one who does that sadly

But I guess I can offer... some kind of perspective from the other side

Not sure it applies to your friends though, this is likely more of a me thing

  Reveal hidden contents

So often, when someone calls/ text me, and I feel not too well/overwhelmed/other... I tend to not answer, at least not immediately, because I can't bring myself to

It doesn't mean I don't care, not at all

It rather means that... I'm busy/tired/overwhelmed/other

But I still care about the sender

 

Of course I shouldn't do that, especially since I feel bad about it and so it feeds into those kinds of negative spirals 

 

 

But yeah maybe now i'm on the receiving end of that with my school it will change lol

The amount of stress that would go away if they just answered is so ridiculous

 

 

Also re: the religion conv because I forgot about that somehow

  Reveal hidden contents

While my religious background is somewhat weird, now that I've sorted it all out, I consider myself as a Christian-values-aligned agnostic who agrees with most of @Kaladin Stormcursed said. I don't think I ever felt the presence of God in my life. And yeah, I think I can go on without.

This said, I do consider Jesus' general philosophy as like the basis of what makes life in society possible. In fact, most of the nicest and coolest people I've met in my life are devout believers.

So if you believe, and it brings you good, then great for you! I don't have any right to tell you how to live your spiritual life (your non-spiritual life as well btw), I don't have more or less answers than you. I just don't think I need the presence of a God I don't think exists to live.

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Oh and if you're wondering whether Sharders are included in the "nicest and coolest people I have met in my life" 

  Reveal hidden contents

Well yes, many of them in fact

  Reveal hidden contents

More specifically, I was thinking to three communities I have been lucky to make some way with at various points in my life, of which the Shard is one

 

 

 

 

Edit: wow this took really longer than I thought 

Again

 

 

Also I can't add quotes in an edit but imagine I'm quoting @Hawks' message right above: 

 

Thanks for the kind words  I'm glad I was able to help you *hugs again*

Well. Mostly it tends to be bc they just dont rlly be online much.

Grrr I wish I had a way yo get rid of that.

But at least it makes people feel cared for bc I dont let them go 2 days without worrying abt them heuhehe7h im to braindead to talk sbt religion. That takes most of my brain.  

*hugs*

GUYS GUYS GUYS. 

DO YOU WANT TO SEE A MASTERPEICE OF A DRAWING GET DRAWN. WELL GO CHECK ME ART THREAD CAUSE OMG IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF

SPRRY I SOUND SELFISH BUT IM AMIRING THIS FEELING WHILE ITS STILL HERE. 

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

3 hours ago, Hawks said:

Well. Mostly it tends to be bc they just dont rlly be online much.

Grrr I wish I had a way yo get rid of that.

But at least it makes people feel cared for bc I dont let them go 2 days without worrying abt them heuhehe7h im to braindead to talk sbt religion. That takes most of my brain.  

*hugs*

GUYS GUYS GUYS. 

DO YOU WANT TO SEE A MASTERPEICE OF A DRAWING GET DRAWN. WELL GO CHECK ME ART THREAD CAUSE OMG IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF

SPRRY I SOUND SELFISH BUT IM AMIRING THIS FEELING WHILE ITS STILL HERE. 

*hugs*

Yeah... it's possible that they just aren't online instead of spiraling for weeks every week 

I don't really know how to get rid of that unfortunately. Except with hugs *more hugs*

 

Alright imma check your art thread

Edited May 26, 2025 by Just A Silvereye

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

18 hours ago, The Druid of the West said:

Hello guys,

although I am new here I can already appreciate and see the loving and supporting community everyone here has built and every single person I see in this thread I just want to give the biggest hug whether they are supporting or leaning on others. I hope you all realise how great you people are as even “just” creating a place where people safe and secure enough to share their thoughts, in the real world or online, is a tremendous achievement. From everything I have read and seen so far, you are all incredible, wonderful, intelligent  people and none of you deserve to or should feel like you are any less than fantastic.

one thing that really helps me, idk if it will help u guys, is thinking about something I will do tomorrow, something I will do for myself. Not selfishly for myself but because I deserve it and you all deserve it too. It could be something like seeing a friend or sitting in a park, just something peaceful, something you believe could make you happy. 
 

Another is, like hoid says, remembering the sun will shine again, even when it feels so dark and dead inside. 
 

And I know it is so hard to swing your mood From dark to light, so hard it can seem impossible. But eventually, it will swing as long as we do not give up on trying to swing it.
The best way I find is talking to people. Making friendships, forming bonds, doing what this thread encourages. Speaking. 
 

I have kind of just rambled on through overused methods but I think they are overused because they do help, not work, I don’t think anything can entirely work, but help. 

I have suffered with severe anxiety and it has just stopped me doing anything. Stopped me sleeping, keeping active, just overall doing the things I love. Every time I have moved to do anything, my stomach has twisted and I have been overwhelmed by the worst possible outcomes that could come from it. I have felt so trapped. It is a fear I do not believe I can describe with words but I will try. A strange fear that lasts for months if not years on end. Sometimes it is less, sometimes more. It is something you can not just shrug off even when you know it is irrational and you do not deserve it. It constantly lies beneath my skin, waiting for a moment to consume me. When it does consume me I feel so trapped, I am filled with anger and pain and fear. I do not know what or who I am angry with. The pain is internal and searing, as if a fire burns in my stomach. The fear is of everything. Every single thought that crawls into my accursed head is terrifying. 
 

It is gone now. While it does come back sometimes, it is far far less frequent. I go full weeks without it. I do not know what happened. I do not know what I did. All of the techniques above helped me, but did not rid me of it. I assume it will return but whilst it is gone I will enjoy life. I will do the things I would not have before. And though I physically cannot, I will try to enjoy every single moment that comes to me instead of waiting for the world to hand me moments to enjoy. 
 

I want to help all of you so much, my heart aches that some of you are filled with so much pain or emptiness. I think we must all find our own way to help ourselves but that does not mean not talking to friends/family or just people who want to help.

I am sorry if I just rambled on and I send my love to you all. Life before death

You are so right I’m relatively new here I’ve only been here for a few months and the entire shard especially this thread is filled with such amazing people

[MirkerLurker she/her]

On 5/25/2025 at 12:30 AM, Hawks said:

This is a vent.

tw sh and probably suicidal thoughts or smthng idk im writing this warning before I type it all out

  Hide contents

first. WHY CANT I BE HAPPY

I feel joy and excitement then its gone in a second all I can do nowadays is cry. I want to be ok and I should be ok!! I say j am to my friends then regret it but dont feel like tsking it bsck because they have their own issues and I cant even figure out what mine are. All I can say is life bc thats all it is. I shouldn't be upset abt the divorce anymore bc its been months. I shouldn't be worried about summer bc surely the arguing wont return. I SHOULDNT BE TRYING TO PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN MYSELF FROM TAKING THE NEAREST IBJECT AND MAKING MYSELD A CUTTING BOARD. 

I cant even eat normally bc I eat then I feel bad bc I "ate to much" then I want to starve myself but I cant cause then my blood sugar drops and I almost pass out. I cant go out without feeling subconsious and insecure about everything. When did that become an issue? I wish I wish but I domt even have any ability to make said wishes come true. 

 

Haly already said this, but I’ll echo it: It’s not “shouldn’t”. There is no “should” when it comes to emotions. They are what they are. You’re not bad, or too much, or wrong, or anything like that for having struggles.

Minor note here. Use if helpful, discard if you’ve already tried this. High likelihood you’ve tried some or all of this already, but I'll offer it in case.
Feeling bad after eating sounds like you’re eating the “wrong” things. (Not quite the right words, but I’m trying.) It sounds like your body wants specific kinds of foods, and/or specific amounts, to be ok. Try different things (all carbs? No carbs? Only liquids? Only protein?) - and keep doing whatever works, even if it’s against “conventional” dietary logic. Eat tiny amounts of food frequently throughout the day, or don’t eat at all until evening. Try “stupid” or “unhealthy” things - watch your health to be prepared in case you feel worse, but try them. Can’t eat food but need blood sugar? Try drinking sugary liquids. Your body is yours specifically. Find what works for it, not for “everyone”.
I used to feel like throwing up after breakfast every day. I tried different foods and food groups, I tried coffee/no coffee, I tried smaller amounts, larger amounts; no dice. I felt sluggish, foggy, and nauseous. Finally I said “screw it” and stopped eating breakfast.
Guess what? I’m better now! Because I don’t eat breakfast anymore. Anytime I do, I feel sick. So I don’t. (For other people, that might make them dizzy or cause other problems, but for my body, that’s what I need.)
So look, if consuming nothing but sugary coffee throughout the day and only eating solid foods at dinner makes your health better, do it. Take a multivitamin to keep yourself reasonably balanced, and make sure to get bloodwork done at your yearly physical with your doctor to check if there’s any long-term effects. 

(Obligatory side note: I am not a doctor. Please stay current with your doctor, let them know what changes you’ve made and what effects you’ve experienced, and get all your regular checkups and tests done.)

 

On 5/25/2025 at 1:40 AM, Hawks said:

Ok what looks like me turning stuff down i swear im not.

I tend not to go to people unless I've tried it all. This included the pattern finding and Journaling and breathing and taking a break. I know what people are going to say so I do it before they can recommend it then when I tell them about said issue they say what I expected and I tell them I tried and it sounds like im just deflecting help and I dont mean it to sound that way but it does. I swear im not. I swear swear on it. 

--

I cant find a pattern. And the only triggers I can find are yelling and getting in trouble. And the pattern  normally is I get depressed then eventually snap put of it and happy for a while then cycles around but noe it's depressed hap- nope depressed. And it's got no logical pattern i can find. 

It’s good that you’ve tried other things already. It’s good that you’re working to do what you can and figure out what helps.
Someone offering ideas, and you telling them you’ve tried those already, is a confirmation that those things sound like they could help, and also communicating that for you they didn’t. It’s how we dialogue about helping. If we can’t say “how about this?” “Tried that one” “ok, how about…” then we can’t help each other, we can’t talk to each other. 

-

That sounds like burnout. Used to snap out of it naturally, but don’t any more. Triggers are anger and stress (others’ or your own) - anything that triggers anxiety.
Burnout and depression often go hand in hand. Silver said it already (Silver’s post was AWESOME and honestly I’m not sure why I’m adding anything), but you’ve been going through a LOT. Of course you’re burning out. You’ve been carrying too much, for too long. Your ability to recover and bounce back has been emptied, depleted.

Your brain, your emotions, are too tired, too worn down, to logic properly.
I wish I had better advice to help. But I know you know all the basic depression things - smell grass, drink water, get sleep, eat a balanced diet, get good exercise; all those lovely ideas that always work great on paper or some diagnostic chart. Burnout adds the ever-so-helpful “do what you can to change your life circumstances to reduce stress”. Because I definitely wasn’t doing that already. Yep. Thank you. And because I have so much control over my daily routine and living situation, etc. Yes, I’ll just push that magic button to remove stress from my life. Why didn’t I think of that sooner???

Maybe helpful, maybe not: physical routine changes take 12 weeks to show noticeable effects. A new workout, for example, won’t have you seeing noticeable strength increases until a few months after you start it. Well, mental health is often the same. New habits, new things we try, don’t always show results right away, but that doesn’t mean they’re not working. Our brains take time to change. Don’t give up on a new thing you’re trying if it doesn’t feel like it’s working fast enough. 

And hey Hawks? I'm glad you're here. I like hearing from you.

 

On 5/25/2025 at 3:00 PM, The Druid of the West said:

Hello guys,

although I am new here I can already appreciate and see the loving and supporting community everyone here has built and every single person I see in this thread I just want to give the biggest hug whether they are supporting or leaning on others. I hope you all realise how great you people are as even “just” creating a place where people safe and secure enough to share their thoughts, in the real world or online, is a tremendous achievement. From everything I have read and seen so far, you are all incredible, wonderful, intelligent  people and none of you deserve to or should feel like you are any less than fantastic.

one thing that really helps me, idk if it will help u guys, is thinking about something I will do tomorrow, something I will do for myself. Not selfishly for myself but because I deserve it and you all deserve it too. It could be something like seeing a friend or sitting in a park, just something peaceful, something you believe could make you happy. 
 

Another is, like hoid says, remembering the sun will shine again, even when it feels so dark and dead inside. 
 

And I know it is so hard to swing your mood From dark to light, so hard it can seem impossible. But eventually, it will swing as long as we do not give up on trying to swing it.
The best way I find is talking to people. Making friendships, forming bonds, doing what this thread encourages. Speaking. 
 

I have kind of just rambled on through overused methods but I think they are overused because they do help, not work, I don’t think anything can entirely work, but help. 

I have suffered with severe anxiety and it has just stopped me doing anything. Stopped me sleeping, keeping active, just overall doing the things I love. Every time I have moved to do anything, my stomach has twisted and I have been overwhelmed by the worst possible outcomes that could come from it. I have felt so trapped. It is a fear I do not believe I can describe with words but I will try. A strange fear that lasts for months if not years on end. Sometimes it is less, sometimes more. It is something you can not just shrug off even when you know it is irrational and you do not deserve it. It constantly lies beneath my skin, waiting for a moment to consume me. When it does consume me I feel so trapped, I am filled with anger and pain and fear. I do not know what or who I am angry with. The pain is internal and searing, as if a fire burns in my stomach. The fear is of everything. Every single thought that crawls into my accursed head is terrifying. 
 

It is gone now. While it does come back sometimes, it is far far less frequent. I go full weeks without it. I do not know what happened. I do not know what I did. All of the techniques above helped me, but did not rid me of it. I assume it will return but whilst it is gone I will enjoy life. I will do the things I would not have before. And though I physically cannot, I will try to enjoy every single moment that comes to me instead of waiting for the world to hand me moments to enjoy. 
 

I want to help all of you so much, my heart aches that some of you are filled with so much pain or emptiness. I think we must all find our own way to help ourselves but that does not mean not talking to friends/family or just people who want to help.

I am sorry if I just rambled on and I send my love to you all. Life before death

Hey, welcome! Thanks for sharing your story. No worries about rambling - that's basically why we're here!

 

On 5/25/2025 at 3:16 PM, The Sly Cookie said:

A Message To All Y'all:

  Reveal hidden contents

Nom

 

!! COOKIE!!!
You're back! And you're...er...smiling...wait, that's...that's more like an evil grin...
...this could be bad, or very very fun.
Anyways, welcome back!

NOM

On 5/25/2025 at 3:36 PM, Hoid Slayer said:

Of course, if they leave you on READ, that's a whole nother matter. But still. They probably don't realize the message they're giving off.

I wanna add a note about leaving someone on READ - because I do it whenever I'm overwhelmed or can't focus. I've tried to get better about dropping a quick "saw this, will come back to it later" to at least let the other person know that I'm not deliberately ignoring them. But esp when I'm struggling with depression or overstimulation, I often check a message to see if it's something I'm capable of responding to at the moment, but then don't respond because it's not something I can do in that moment. And I'll come back to it when I can - when my brain is functioning again or whatever - but it'll say "READ" but have no reply because I care enough that I wanted to try, at least. I wanted to try to answer. That's not the case for everyone, of course. And them not seeing it at all b/c they're not online is a different thing, I'm just commenting on the "message left on READ" part.

 

On 5/25/2025 at 4:04 PM, Just A Silvereye said:

Btw @Hawks I want you to know how grateful I am (and many others are certainly) for creating this thread. It helped me so much in tough times, and I honestly think it, and the support y'all showed through all this, is one of the reasons this year winded up better than the last. (Well that wasn't a high bar to clear, but it still didn't look like it would be so a couple months ago.) You did so much good here, you have no idea.

I SECOND THIS

 

On 5/26/2025 at 12:13 AM, Hawks said:

GUYS GUYS GUYS. 

DO YOU WANT TO SEE A MASTERPEICE OF A DRAWING GET DRAWN. WELL GO CHECK ME ART THREAD CAUSE OMG IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF

SPRRY I SOUND SELFISH BUT IM AMIRING THIS FEELING WHILE ITS STILL HERE. 

Yes I wanna see, you should post it!

...wait you said go look at your art thread, I'm blind 

I will come back later for the religion stuff, I have thoughts but no more time to write atm.

Edited May 27, 2025 by MirkerLurker

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

Hey guys

Tw suicidal thoughts

Spoiler

So rn there is an urge to go into the garage and turn on the car or some other thing that will kill me but doesn’t hurt bc my stupid self preservation won’t let me hurt myself. Idrk why like I’m having a good summer so far I just keep feeling like I’m not rly here and I’m just existing but not alive? I think it’s called like disassociating or something I looked it up idk if it’s something that can be diagnosed but if it is I am not diagnosed. Oh also I was a butt head to one of my friends today I made her cry. Never feels great. Let’s see the current things to live for are the pride parade coming up soon and my family. That’s abt it other than that I’m a lazy (swear words) that can’t get anything done. I don’t even know what I’m doing here (here as in life and whatever the heck this message is) I don’t think I’m asking how to feel better bc I got that one figured out so I’m just gonna go ride my bike and hope someone hits me rly fast and rly hard… and doesn’t hurt the bike… it’s a rly nice bike.

#lovinglife

[Keke They/he]

3 hours ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

Hey guys

Tw suicidal thoughts

  Hide contents

So rn there is an urge to go into the garage and turn on the car or some other thing that will kill me but doesn’t hurt bc my stupid self preservation won’t let me hurt myself. Idrk why like I’m having a good summer so far I just keep feeling like I’m not rly here and I’m just existing but not alive? I think it’s called like disassociating or something I looked it up idk if it’s something that can be diagnosed but if it is I am not diagnosed. Oh also I was a butt head to one of my friends today I made her cry. Never feels great. Let’s see the current things to live for are the pride parade coming up soon and my family. That’s abt it other than that I’m a lazy (swear words) that can’t get anything done. I don’t even know what I’m doing here (here as in life and whatever the heck this message is) I don’t think I’m asking how to feel better bc I got that one figured out so I’m just gonna go ride my bike and hope someone hits me rly fast and rly hard… and doesn’t hurt the bike… it’s a rly nice bike.

#lovinglife

Hs!!!

You are awesome

Sometimes people do get hurt and that sucks. But dont die! 

We love you!!! 

I wisg i could be more help so here are some hugs *hugs hugs*

Your awesome dont die

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

2 minutes ago, Hawks said:

Hs!!!

You are awesome

Sometimes people do get hurt and that sucks. But dont die! 

We love you!!! 

I wisg i could be more help so here are some hugs *hugs hugs*

Your awesome dont die

Spoiler

Ha thanks hawks that’s rly kind of you I am not dead yet and as much as I hate it I don’t think I will die yet

 

[Keke They/he]

On 5/27/2025 at 12:14 PM, MirkerLurker said:

Haly already said this, but I’ll echo it: It’s not “shouldn’t”. There is no “should” when it comes to emotions. They are what they are. You’re not bad, or too much, or wrong, or anything like that for having struggles.

Minor note here. Use if helpful, discard if you’ve already tried this. High likelihood you’ve tried some or all of this already, but I'll offer it in case.
Feeling bad after eating sounds like you’re eating the “wrong” things. (Not quite the right words, but I’m trying.) It sounds like your body wants specific kinds of foods, and/or specific amounts, to be ok. Try different things (all carbs? No carbs? Only liquids? Only protein?) - and keep doing whatever works, even if it’s against “conventional” dietary logic. Eat tiny amounts of food frequently throughout the day, or don’t eat at all until evening. Try “stupid” or “unhealthy” things - watch your health to be prepared in case you feel worse, but try them. Can’t eat food but need blood sugar? Try drinking sugary liquids. Your body is yours specifically. Find what works for it, not for “everyone”.
I used to feel like throwing up after breakfast every day. I tried different foods and food groups, I tried coffee/no coffee, I tried smaller amounts, larger amounts; no dice. I felt sluggish, foggy, and nauseous. Finally I said “screw it” and stopped eating breakfast.
Guess what? I’m better now! Because I don’t eat breakfast anymore. Anytime I do, I feel sick. So I don’t. (For other people, that might make them dizzy or cause other problems, but for my body, that’s what I need.)
So look, if consuming nothing but sugary coffee throughout the day and only eating solid foods at dinner makes your health better, do it. Take a multivitamin to keep yourself reasonably balanced, and make sure to get bloodwork done at your yearly physical with your doctor to check if there’s any long-term effects. 

(Obligatory side note: I am not a doctor. Please stay current with your doctor, let them know what changes you’ve made and what effects you’ve experienced, and get all your regular checkups and tests done.)

 

It’s good that you’ve tried other things already. It’s good that you’re working to do what you can and figure out what helps.
Someone offering ideas, and you telling them you’ve tried those already, is a confirmation that those things sound like they could help, and also communicating that for you they didn’t. It’s how we dialogue about helping. If we can’t say “how about this?” “Tried that one” “ok, how about…” then we can’t help each other, we can’t talk to each other. 

-

That sounds like burnout. Used to snap out of it naturally, but don’t any more. Triggers are anger and stress (others’ or your own) - anything that triggers anxiety.
Burnout and depression often go hand in hand. Silver said it already (Silver’s post was AWESOME and honestly I’m not sure why I’m adding anything), but you’ve been going through a LOT. Of course you’re burning out. You’ve been carrying too much, for too long. Your ability to recover and bounce back has been emptied, depleted.

Your brain, your emotions, are too tired, too worn down, to logic properly.
I wish I had better advice to help. But I know you know all the basic depression things - smell grass, drink water, get sleep, eat a balanced diet, get good exercise; all those lovely ideas that always work great on paper or some diagnostic chart. Burnout adds the ever-so-helpful “do what you can to change your life circumstances to reduce stress”. Because I definitely wasn’t doing that already. Yep. Thank you. And because I have so much control over my daily routine and living situation, etc. Yes, I’ll just push that magic button to remove stress from my life. Why didn’t I think of that sooner???

Maybe helpful, maybe not: physical routine changes take 12 weeks to show noticeable effects. A new workout, for example, won’t have you seeing noticeable strength increases until a few months after you start it. Well, mental health is often the same. New habits, new things we try, don’t always show results right away, but that doesn’t mean they’re not working. Our brains take time to change. Don’t give up on a new thing you’re trying if it doesn’t feel like it’s working fast enough. 

And hey Hawks? I'm glad you're here. I like hearing from you.

 

Hey, welcome! Thanks for sharing your story. No worries about rambling - that's basically why we're here!

 

!! COOKIE!!!
You're back! And you're...er...smiling...wait, that's...that's more like an evil grin...
...this could be bad, or very very fun.
Anyways, welcome back!

NOM

I wanna add a note about leaving someone on READ - because I do it whenever I'm overwhelmed or can't focus. I've tried to get better about dropping a quick "saw this, will come back to it later" to at least let the other person know that I'm not deliberately ignoring them. But esp when I'm struggling with depression or overstimulation, I often check a message to see if it's something I'm capable of responding to at the moment, but then don't respond because it's not something I can do in that moment. And I'll come back to it when I can - when my brain is functioning again or whatever - but it'll say "READ" but have no reply because I care enough that I wanted to try, at least. I wanted to try to answer. That's not the case for everyone, of course. And them not seeing it at all b/c they're not online is a different thing, I'm just commenting on the "message left on READ" part.

 

I SECOND THIS

 

Yes I wanna see, you should post it!

...wait you said go look at your art thread, I'm blind 

I will come back later for the religion stuff, I have thoughts but no more time to write atm.

Heh thars alot 

I read it all but I dont have any energy to actually do anything to respond. Maybe i will when I get motivation

1 minute ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

  Reveal hidden contents

Ha thanks hawks that’s rly kind of you I am not dead yet and as much as I hate it I don’t think I will die yet

 

*hugs* ok

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

3 hours ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

Hey guys

Tw suicidal thoughts

  Hide contents

So rn there is an urge to go into the garage and turn on the car or some other thing that will kill me but doesn’t hurt bc my stupid self preservation won’t let me hurt myself. Idrk why like I’m having a good summer so far I just keep feeling like I’m not rly here and I’m just existing but not alive? I think it’s called like disassociating or something I looked it up idk if it’s something that can be diagnosed but if it is I am not diagnosed. Oh also I was a butt head to one of my friends today I made her cry. Never feels great. Let’s see the current things to live for are the pride parade coming up soon and my family. That’s abt it other than that I’m a lazy (swear words) that can’t get anything done. I don’t even know what I’m doing here (here as in life and whatever the heck this message is) I don’t think I’m asking how to feel better bc I got that one figured out so I’m just gonna go ride my bike and hope someone hits me rly fast and rly hard… and doesn’t hurt the bike… it’s a rly nice bike.

#lovinglife

Oof

*hugs*

Umm...

I don't think that self-preservation is stupid

It's actually super awesome. It's doing its job perfectly.

And... you're not a lazy (swear word)

You're awesome

Remember that for me, will you?

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

2 minutes ago, Hoid Slayer said:

Oof

*hugs*

Umm...

I don't think that self-preservation is stupid

It's actually super awesome. It's doing its job perfectly.

And... you're not a lazy (swear word)

You're awesome

Remember that for me, will you?

Sigh I guess self preservation is working just fine I just don’t love it doing that but I will try to remember that I’m awsome *hugs* thanks

[MirkerLurker she/her]

4 hours ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

Hey guys

Tw suicidal thoughts

  Hide contents

So rn there is an urge to go into the garage and turn on the car or some other thing that will kill me but doesn’t hurt bc my stupid self preservation won’t let me hurt myself. Idrk why like I’m having a good summer so far I just keep feeling like I’m not rly here and I’m just existing but not alive? I think it’s called like disassociating or something I looked it up idk if it’s something that can be diagnosed but if it is I am not diagnosed. Oh also I was a butt head to one of my friends today I made her cry. Never feels great. Let’s see the current things to live for are the pride parade coming up soon and my family. That’s abt it other than that I’m a lazy (swear words) that can’t get anything done. I don’t even know what I’m doing here (here as in life and whatever the heck this message is) I don’t think I’m asking how to feel better bc I got that one figured out so I’m just gonna go ride my bike and hope someone hits me rly fast and rly hard… and doesn’t hurt the bike… it’s a rly nice bike.

#lovinglife

*hug*

Yep, that fits into "dissociating". Dissociating is a symptom, not a diagnosis. It's common to a number of different mental health issues.

If being lazy means you're too lazy to actually go k- yourself, then by all means, be lazy. We like having you around. 

Besides, lazy people are more chill to hang out with. 

You don't need to know what you're doing here. Pick something. Does it need to be big or important? Nah. Does it need to stay the same forever? Absolutely nah. Change it on a whim. Be here for a cat, because the cat needs you. 

1 hour ago, Hawks said:

Heh thars alot 

I read it all but I dont have any energy to actually do anything to respond. Maybe i will when I get motivation

*hugs* ok

YES

ABSOLUTELY IGNORE ME

You can respond later, or not at all, and that's FINE. You could come back in ten months and respond and I'd just be like "yeah ok, so blah blah responding"

I totally get "too much, can't do that right now". You can always respond to my things in your own time, or not at all. 

[Keke They/he]

Just now, MirkerLurker said:

*hug*

Yep, that fits into "dissociating". Dissociating is a symptom, not a diagnosis. It's common to a number of different mental health issues.

If being lazy means you're too lazy to actually go k- yourself, then by all means, be lazy. We like having you around. 

Besides, lazy people are more chill to hang out with. 

You don't need to know what you're doing here. Pick something. Does it need to be big or important? Nah. Does it need to stay the same forever? Absolutely nah. Change it on a whim. Be here for a cat, because the cat needs you. 

YES

ABSOLUTELY IGNORE ME

You can respond later, or not at all, and that's FINE. You could come back in ten months and respond and I'd just be like "yeah ok, so blah blah responding"

I totally get "too much, can't do that right now". You can always respond to my things in your own time, or not at all. 

Oh.  its not that I dont have time its that I cant physically get myself to do anytbing but like dye inside.

[MirkerLurker she/her]

Just now, Hawks said:

Oh.  its not that I dont have time its that I cant physically get myself to do anytbing but like dye inside.

yes that's what I mean.

I have on and off depression, along with overstimulation. I offer words for "if they're helpful", but I completely understand "I can't bring myself to process that right now. That's too much. Moving is too much. Thinking takes too much work. Maybe later I'll be functional enough to look at that...maybe not..."

Yeah. Ignore me if you can't process right now. That's fine. 

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

44 minutes ago, MirkerLurker said:

*hug*

Yep, that fits into "dissociating". Dissociating is a symptom, not a diagnosis. It's common to a number of different mental health issues.

If being lazy means you're too lazy to actually go k- yourself, then by all means, be lazy. We like having you around. 

Besides, lazy people are more chill to hang out with. 

You don't need to know what you're doing here. Pick something. Does it need to be big or important? Nah. Does it need to stay the same forever? Absolutely nah. Change it on a whim. Be here for a cat, because the cat needs you.

That… that helps a lot actually thanks I will try to pick some temporary goals*hugs* 

this might sound stupid but part of why I feel lazy is bc I’m currently reading a wise man’s fear and watching cobra Kai so I’m like comparing myself to the diligent karate students and stupid kvothe the bloodless which makes me then either think I’m stupid and crazy for comparing myself to fictional characters or I tell myself I’m a failure bc I’m nothing compared to them

[MirkerLurker she/her]

Warning: Religion post

 

On 5/25/2025 at 1:40 AM, Hawks said:

And im not responding to the psrt abt religion bc im actually not sure how I feel about religion anymore. Yay add that onto my pile of issues I have right now. 

Note: This is probably adding a lot to your overall stress. Not saying that as a "you should be fixing that" but as a "remember that you're going through a lot, and doubting your faith is a big part of it". Religious beliefs that you're raised in are very foundational, and questioning them can change or threaten to change a LOT of how you view and interact with the world.

Also, I would recommend putting "sorting through how you feel about religion" into a higher priority than a lot of other things, because it is so foundational.

 

Ok, the rest of this is going into a spoiler box, because I'm going to gently (hopefully gently?) poke at the religion topic that got brought up. Again - to any whom I respond to, please don't feel the need to respond, and please let me know if something I say bothers you. (I'm also not sure if this really belongs in this thread, but religious beliefs impact mental health a LOT, so I think discussing religion fits, but obviously that can be a sensitive topic, so.)

Spoiler

On 5/25/2025 at 9:05 AM, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

 

  Hide contents

Please don't hate me y'all

  Hide contents

Ok I obviously wanna preface this by saying: I don't hate religion, and I have zero problem with it. It helps a lot of people, and that's really great.

But, and again this is just my opinion and please don't hate me for this, I don't necessarily think religion is always the best help. I say this as someone who has tried various forms of Christianity and has a lot of religious friends: religion just has nothing to offer me that I haven't already found. Obviously religion can be very helpful, but I just want to emphasize that if you don't feel religion, or at least your current religion/branch of religion, is right for you, don't stick with it just because you feel you need to. If there is some higher power, I doubt they particularly care how you worship them or even if you worship them so long as you can spread good in the world. Clearly people will disagree with me, and that's fine—this is just my own opinion—but I think what we should be focused on the most is just spreading and building community and good.

 

 

On 5/25/2025 at 5:01 PM, Just A Silvereye said:

Also re: the religion conv because I forgot about that somehow

  Hide contents

While my religious background is somewhat weird, now that I've sorted it all out, I consider myself as a Christian-values-aligned agnostic who agrees with most of @Kaladin Stormcursed said. I don't think I ever felt the presence of God in my life. And yeah, I think I can go on without.

This said, I do consider Jesus' general philosophy as like the basis of what makes life in society possible. In fact, most of the nicest and coolest people I've met in my life are devout believers.

So if you believe, and it brings you good, then great for you! I don't have any right to tell you how to live your spiritual life (your non-spiritual life as well btw), I don't have more or less answers than you. I just don't think I need the presence of a God I don't think exists to live.

If you've been looking at religion for "what it has to offer", or "what values does it teach", you're not ultimately going to find anything in it. Religion only actually matters if it's true. If it's not, then it's a half-lie with good intentions at best and a potentially very harmful diversion from reality at worst.

Christianity isn't there "to help you". It's there because it's true. Because God is good, He offers us help. But it's not a...I don't know, a technique fabricated to create certain emotions in you, or a psychotherapy tool designed to fix your problems. It offers that hope of healing, but it offers that through the idea that because it's true, learning about it and behaving in accordance with it will help you, because you're learning about reality. In the same way that learning about medicine and the science behind it is good for us and can heal us. ...that may not be the best metaphor, but I'm figuring this out as I go. If it's true, it matters; and if it's not true, then it's actually interfering with our understanding of what is real and good.

(It often gets taught and preached as a "fix your life with Jesus!" or "Find peace and healing by coming to know God!" and while there's true possibilities for that, it's not the point, and if you go to it just looking for that without looking for truth, it's gonna fall apart, and hello here is my rant about why I, as a Christian, really dislike a lot of preachers. ...not actually gonna rant, but yes, that's a bit of a pet peeve of mine.)

Silver, to what you said, I'll add a bit more. Jesus is an interesting figure in that, if what He taught is true, then it changes everything (God is real, He is God, and everything He said about salvation etc is true). If what Jesus taught is not true, then He is either a) a masterful liar, and therefore undermining all His teachings about goodness and honesty and also not someone I want to model myself after, or b) a lunatic who thought He was a god, and therefore again not someone whose words and philosophies I want to trust or try to model.

 

Uh, in case it wasn't obvious, I am a Christian. So I'm obviously coming at this with that bias.

And Kansas, I don't hate you. In fact, I respect you for that. You were honest, and I value that a LOT. Thanks for being willing to put your honesty out there like that. If it feels like I'm pushing back on you, please PLEASE know it's because I care about truth and about people, and NOT because I don't like you! And you can tell me to back off and I will. That's ok. (Silver, you too.)

 

12 minutes ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

That… that helps a lot actually thanks I will try to pick some temporary goals*hugs* 

this might sound stupid but part of why I feel lazy is bc I’m currently reading a wise man’s fear and watching cobra Kai so I’m like comparing myself to the diligent karate students and stupid kvothe the bloodless which makes me then either think I’m stupid and crazy for comparing myself to fictional characters or I tell myself I’m a failure bc I’m nothing compared to them

Ok Kvothe is not a good character to compare yourself to - not only because he's a "hero" archetype who accomplishes way more than even other people in that story do, let alone real people, but also because he's not a great hero, and I don't really like his personality. He's charismatic, yes, and I found the books interesting, but him personally...don't feel the need to try to be Kvothe.

You're not stupid or crazy for comparing yourself to fictional characters, though. Fiction is how we tell truths that are too hard for reality. We learn about truth and about ourselves through storytelling. Of course we compare ourselves to the characters. We look at what behavior goes well, and what doesn't. How characters react. How real people react to the characters. The fiction stories that are good, the ones that stick with you, are the ones that are about truth. (I.E. why Stormlight is so good. Kaladin may be fictional, but the depression he models, and the ideals he chases, are not; Dalinar may be fictional, but the struggles and the determination he demonstrates aren't; etc.)

...also I am both a diligent martial arts student and a lazy bum who struggles every day with starting tasks and doing things. So. Take that as you will.

[Through the Living Heir he/him]

6 minutes ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

That… that helps a lot actually thanks I will try to pick some temporary goals*hugs* 

this might sound stupid but part of why I feel lazy is bc I’m currently reading a wise man’s fear and watching cobra Kai so I’m like comparing myself to the diligent karate students and stupid kvothe the bloodless which makes me then either think I’m stupid and crazy for comparing myself to fictional characters or I tell myself I’m a failure bc I’m nothing compared to them

You aren't stupid, crazy, or a failure. People write characters not because they're realistic, but because they want people to compare themselves to them and, understanding that those characters exemplify that virtue unrealistically (for instance, I think robotics is really cool partially because of Iron Man, but if I ever get around to it I know that I won't be able to build power armor), strive to emulate that admirable trait to the best of their ability. Relatablity is by design, and the characters are fictional - nobody can live up to them, but that doesn't mean you cannot try; where you end up will still be worth it. 

Not sure if it's helpful or not (I have a tendency to expect logic to work on brain chemistry - it does not, even on me). Either way, I believe in you! *comforting yet awkward physical gesture, alternating between attempts at a hug and a pat on the back, with both people switching to what the other is doing at the same time* 

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

23 minutes ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

That… that helps a lot actually thanks I will try to pick some temporary goals*hugs* 

this might sound stupid but part of why I feel lazy is bc I’m currently reading a wise man’s fear and watching cobra Kai so I’m like comparing myself to the diligent karate students and stupid kvothe the bloodless which makes me then either think I’m stupid and crazy for comparing myself to fictional characters or I tell myself I’m a failure bc I’m nothing compared to them

*hugs*

Its not stupid

But fictional characters are also fictional for a reason

We can’t all be Kaladins, or Elends, or Kvothes (although I haven’t read The Name of the Wind)

And that’s okay

7 minutes ago, MirkerLurker said:

Warning: Religion post

 

Note: This is probably adding a lot to your overall stress. Not saying that as a "you should be fixing that" but as a "remember that you're going through a lot, and doubting your faith is a big part of it". Religious beliefs that you're raised in are very foundational, and questioning them can change or threaten to change a LOT of how you view and interact with the world.

Also, I would recommend putting "sorting through how you feel about religion" into a higher priority than a lot of other things, because it is so foundational.

 

Ok, the rest of this is going into a spoiler box, because I'm going to gently (hopefully gently?) poke at the religion topic that got brought up. Again - to any whom I respond to, please don't feel the need to respond, and please let me know if something I say bothers you. (I'm also not sure if this really belongs in this thread, but religious beliefs impact mental health a LOT, so I think discussing religion fits, but obviously that can be a sensitive topic, so.)

  Reveal hidden contents

If you've been looking at religion for "what it has to offer", or "what values does it teach", you're not ultimately going to find anything in it. Religion only actually matters if it's true. If it's not, then it's a half-lie with good intentions at best and a potentially very harmful diversion from reality at worst.

Christianity isn't there "to help you". It's there because it's true. Because God is good, He offers us help. But it's not a...I don't know, a technique fabricated to create certain emotions in you, or a psychotherapy tool designed to fix your problems. It offers that hope of healing, but it offers that through the idea that because it's true, learning about it and behaving in accordance with it will help you, because you're learning about reality. In the same way that learning about medicine and the science behind it is good for us and can heal us. ...that may not be the best metaphor, but I'm figuring this out as I go. If it's true, it matters; and if it's not true, then it's actually interfering with our understanding of what is real and good.

(It often gets taught and preached as a "fix your life with Jesus!" or "Find peace and healing by coming to know God!" and while there's true possibilities for that, it's not the point, and if you go to it just looking for that without looking for truth, it's gonna fall apart, and hello here is my rant about why I, as a Christian, really dislike a lot of preachers. ...not actually gonna rant, but yes, that's a bit of a pet peeve of mine.)

Silver, to what you said, I'll add a bit more. Jesus is an interesting figure in that, if what He taught is true, then it changes everything (God is real, He is God, and everything He said about salvation etc is true). If what Jesus taught is not true, then He is either a) a masterful liar, and therefore undermining all His teachings about goodness and honesty and also not someone I want to model myself after, or b) a lunatic who thought He was a god, and therefore again not someone whose words and philosophies I want to trust or try to model.

 

Uh, in case it wasn't obvious, I am a Christian. So I'm obviously coming at this with that bias.

And Kansas, I don't hate you. In fact, I respect you for that. You were honest, and I value that a LOT. Thanks for being willing to put your honesty out there like that. If it feels like I'm pushing back on you, please PLEASE know it's because I care about truth and about people, and NOT because I don't like you! And you can tell me to back off and I will. That's ok. (Silver, you too.)

 

Ok Kvothe is not a good character to compare yourself to - not only because he's a "hero" archetype who accomplishes way more than even other people in that story do, let alone real people, but also because he's not a great hero, and I don't really like his personality. He's charismatic, yes, and I found the books interesting, but him personally...don't feel the need to try to be Kvothe.

You're not stupid or crazy for comparing yourself to fictional characters, though. Fiction is how we tell truths that are too hard for reality. We learn about truth and about ourselves through storytelling. Of course we compare ourselves to the characters. We look at what behavior goes well, and what doesn't. How characters react. How real people react to the characters. The fiction stories that are good, the ones that stick with you, are the ones that are about truth. (I.E. why Stormlight is so good. Kaladin may be fictional, but the depression he models, and the ideals he chases, are not; Dalinar may be fictional, but the struggles and the determination he demonstrates aren't; etc.)

...also I am both a diligent martial arts student and a lazy bum who struggles every day with starting tasks and doing things. So. Take that as you will.

I… disagree with a lot of the religious points raised here, but I don’t feel like this is the best place to discuss that.

Just, quickly, for Hawks:

Don’t feel the need to believe something you don’t. Belief is just that; what you regard as true. And, while I’m a constant advocate for truth, this is something the actual truth of which doesn’t necessarily have a major impact on your life.

I think I’m not maybe really making myself clear, but my point is, don’t force yourself to conform.

Don't let anybody force you to conform.

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

5 minutes ago, MirkerLurker said:

Warning: Religion post

 

Note: This is probably adding a lot to your overall stress. Not saying that as a "you should be fixing that" but as a "remember that you're going through a lot, and doubting your faith is a big part of it". Religious beliefs that you're raised in are very foundational, and questioning them can change or threaten to change a LOT of how you view and interact with the world.

Also, I would recommend putting "sorting through how you feel about religion" into a higher priority than a lot of other things, because it is so foundational.

 

Ok, the rest of this is going into a spoiler box, because I'm going to gently (hopefully gently?) poke at the religion topic that got brought up. Again - to any whom I respond to, please don't feel the need to respond, and please let me know if something I say bothers you. (I'm also not sure if this really belongs in this thread, but religious beliefs impact mental health a LOT, so I think discussing religion fits, but obviously that can be a sensitive topic, so.)

  Reveal hidden contents

If you've been looking at religion for "what it has to offer", or "what values does it teach", you're not ultimately going to find anything in it. Religion only actually matters if it's true. If it's not, then it's a half-lie with good intentions at best and a potentially very harmful diversion from reality at worst.

Christianity isn't there "to help you". It's there because it's true. Because God is good, He offers us help. But it's not a...I don't know, a technique fabricated to create certain emotions in you, or a psychotherapy tool designed to fix your problems. It offers that hope of healing, but it offers that through the idea that because it's true, learning about it and behaving in accordance with it will help you, because you're learning about reality. In the same way that learning about medicine and the science behind it is good for us and can heal us. ...that may not be the best metaphor, but I'm figuring this out as I go. If it's true, it matters; and if it's not true, then it's actually interfering with our understanding of what is real and good.

(It often gets taught and preached as a "fix your life with Jesus!" or "Find peace and healing by coming to know God!" and while there's true possibilities for that, it's not the point, and if you go to it just looking for that without looking for truth, it's gonna fall apart, and hello here is my rant about why I, as a Christian, really dislike a lot of preachers. ...not actually gonna rant, but yes, that's a bit of a pet peeve of mine.)

Silver, to what you said, I'll add a bit more. Jesus is an interesting figure in that, if what He taught is true, then it changes everything (God is real, He is God, and everything He said about salvation etc is true). If what Jesus taught is not true, then He is either a) a masterful liar, and therefore undermining all His teachings about goodness and honesty and also not someone I want to model myself after, or b) a lunatic who thought He was a god, and therefore again not someone whose words and philosophies I want to trust or try to model.

 

Uh, in case it wasn't obvious, I am a Christian. So I'm obviously coming at this with that bias.

And Kansas, I don't hate you. In fact, I respect you for that. You were honest, and I value that a LOT. Thanks for being willing to put your honesty out there like that. If it feels like I'm pushing back on you, please PLEASE know it's because I care about truth and about people, and NOT because I don't like you! And you can tell me to back off and I will. That's ok. (Silver, you too.)

 

Ok Kvothe is not a good character to compare yourself to - not only because he's a "hero" archetype who accomplishes way more than even other people in that story do, let alone real people, but also because he's not a great hero, and I don't really like his personality. He's charismatic, yes, and I found the books interesting, but him personally...don't feel the need to try to be Kvothe.

You're not stupid or crazy for comparing yourself to fictional characters, though. Fiction is how we tell truths that are too hard for reality. We learn about truth and about ourselves through storytelling. Of course we compare ourselves to the characters. We look at what behavior goes well, and what doesn't. How characters react. How real people react to the characters. The fiction stories that are good, the ones that stick with you, are the ones that are about truth. (I.E. why Stormlight is so good. Kaladin may be fictional, but the depression he models, and the ideals he chases, are not; Dalinar may be fictional, but the struggles and the determination he demonstrates aren't; etc.)

...also I am both a diligent martial arts student and a lazy bum who struggles every day with starting tasks and doing things. So. Take that as you will.

I fully respect religion as a set of ideals, but to me—I want to emphasize that, TO ME, and I'll expand on that in a little bit—it seems like you said it may be, a half-lie with good intentions. That said, my own system of belief is a little convoluted, but could probably be classified as some branch of humanism, though I typically just identify as an atheist, mostly for convenience's sake. This whole viewpoint comes mostly from things like quantum physics and relativity, so it's a little odd, but whatevs.

To me, religion is true for each person. If a person believes God, or some higher being, exists, then it does; if someone believes there isn't, then there isn't. Essentially, we each live within our own plane of existence that overlaps with others but differs in certain key truths and ways of viewing the world. This also has to do with things like how the color "red" might actually look different to different people, we just all agree to call it "red".

Not gonna get too much into this 'cause it's a pretty iffy topic, but just saying that what's true for one personneed not be true for another.

2 minutes ago, Hoid Slayer said:

*hugs*

Its not stupid

But fictional characters are also fictional for a reason

We can’t all be Kaladins, or Elends, or Kvothes (although I haven’t read The Name of the Wind)

And that’s okay

I… disagree with a lot of the religious points raised here, but I don’t feel like this is the best place to discuss that.

Just, quickly, for Hawks:

Don’t feel the need to believe something you don’t. Belief is just that; what you regard as true. And, while I’m a constant advocate for truth, this is something the actual truth of which doesn’t necessarily have a major impact on your life.

I think I’m not maybe really making myself clear, but my point is, don’t force yourself to conform.

Don't let anybody force you to conform.

Yeah no I agree a lot with this; I would add that truth itself is reallymore subjective than we'd like it to be, so keep that in mind.

[Through the Living Heir he/him]

I'm bored and have things to say, so I'll ignore the fact I should be asleep and join the religion discussion. 

Notes: also Christian, also biased, but playing Devil's Advocate (this was a position whose job it was to convince the Pope a potential saint's miracles were the work of the Devil or made up, and hence they should not be made a saint - in this case, I'm pretty much directly doing that) for the moment. I've found that arguing against my opinions can help me determine if I'm wrong, in whole or in part, and if not, allows me to have more, better things to say on my behalf if contradicted. 

25 minutes ago, MirkerLurker said:

Silver, to what you said, I'll add a bit more. Jesus is an interesting figure in that, if what He taught is true, then it changes everything (God is real, He is God, and everything He said about salvation etc is true). If what Jesus taught is not true, then He is either a) a masterful liar, and therefore undermining all His teachings about goodness and honesty and also not someone I want to model myself after, or b) a lunatic who thought He was a god, and therefore again not someone whose words and philosophies I want to trust or try to model.

This happens to be a false trichonomy, and as trusting or modeling behavior off of faulty logic is almost as bad as emulating someone insane, I have more options for you (well, now only one, but before I decided to merge the "the Bible is inaccurate in some way" ones, I had three. I'm sure more people can think of more things), at least one of which (which I personally think is false, but it's a much better option than the others) allows secularly following Jesus's teachings to work. If there are two people named Jesus, one of whom was either a liar or con man and one of whom was a wise teacher, the Bible (which was written a good hundred years after the actual events, and has several duplicate versions of at least the Loaves and Fishes miracle that contradict each other) could conflate them and end up with one person. 

22 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

I fully respect religion as a set of ideals, but to me—I want to emphasize that, TO ME, and I'll expand on that in a little bit—it seems like you said it may be, a half-lie with good intentions. That said, my own system of belief is a little convoluted, but could probably be classified as some branch of humanism, though I typically just identify as an atheist, mostly for convenience's sake. This whole viewpoint comes mostly from things like quantum physics and relativity, so it's a little odd, but whatevs.

To me, religion is true for each person. If a person believes God, or some higher being, exists, then it does; if someone believes there isn't, then there isn't. Essentially, we each live within our own plane of existence that overlaps with others but differs in certain key truths and ways of viewing the world. This also has to do with things like how the color "red" might actually look different to different people, we just all agree to call it "red".

Not gonna get too much into this 'cause it's a pretty iffy topic, but just saying that what's true for one personneed not be true for another.

And, per Christian theology, since God is omnipotent, He can do such a thing. An omnipotent God can decide to also be not omnipotent and also to not exist, and have no problems existing while not existing, being all-powerful and also constrained, and carrying around the stones He made that He cannot lift. To miracles, though, that's a lot of quantum entanglement. 

Thinking about things like what happens if you convert to a different religion is making my head hurt, so I'll spare myself and everyone else and not think it through enough to type out. 

[TwinStorm He/Him]

13 hours ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

That… that helps a lot actually thanks I will try to pick some temporary goals*hugs* 

this might sound stupid but part of why I feel lazy is bc I’m currently reading a wise man’s fear and watching cobra Kai so I’m like comparing myself to the diligent karate students and stupid kvothe the bloodless which makes me then either think I’m stupid and crazy for comparing myself to fictional characters or I tell myself I’m a failure bc I’m nothing compared to them

don't compare yourself to Kvothe

I made that mistake playing guitar

don't

he's fictional and your not

12 hours ago, Dragonheir said:

I'm bored and have things to say, so I'll ignore the fact I should be asleep and join the religion discussion. 

Notes: also Christian, also biased, but playing Devil's Advocate (this was a position whose job it was to convince the Pope a potential saint's miracles were the work of the Devil or made up, and hence they should not be made a saint - in this case, I'm pretty much directly doing that) for the moment. I've found that arguing against my opinions can help me determine if I'm wrong, in whole or in part, and if not, allows me to have more, better things to say on my behalf if contradicted. 

This happens to be a false trichonomy, and as trusting or modeling behavior off of faulty logic is almost as bad as emulating someone insane, I have more options for you (well, now only one, but before I decided to merge the "the Bible is inaccurate in some way" ones, I had three. I'm sure more people can think of more things), at least one of which (which I personally think is false, but it's a much better option than the others) allows secularly following Jesus's teachings to work. If there are two people named Jesus, one of whom was either a liar or con man and one of whom was a wise teacher, the Bible (which was written a good hundred years after the actual events, and has several duplicate versions of at least the Loaves and Fishes miracle that contradict each other) could conflate them and end up with one person. 

And, per Christian theology, since God is omnipotent, He can do such a thing. An omnipotent God can decide to also be not omnipotent and also to not exist, and have no problems existing while not existing, being all-powerful and also constrained, and carrying around the stones He made that He cannot lift. To miracles, though, that's a lot of quantum entanglement. 

Thinking about things like what happens if you convert to a different religion is making my head hurt, so I'll spare myself and everyone else and not think it through enough to type out. 

the rock problem is illogical nonsense (no offense ofc)

God's power does not extend to logical nonsense

C.S. Lewis said, “nonsense remains nonsense even when we talk it about God.”

if we asked God, "how far is it from yellow to Christmas," he could not tell us, becuz it is logically impossible

Edited May 29, 2025 by TwinStorm

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

thank you everyone who responded to me it helps a bunch and I rly appreciate also its going a little better today I just had what I would consider my first actually productive meeting w my therapist bc I actually told her stuff and the person I made cry and all my friends don’t hate me so that’s a plus.

seriously everyone on here whether you saw what i put or not I appreciate you so much and for all the help you’ve given me and others big hugs for all *HUGE HUG*

[Through the Living Heir he/him]

34 minutes ago, TwinStorm said:

the rock problem is illogical nonsense (no offense ofc)

God's power does not extend to logical nonsense

C.S. Lewis said, “nonsense remains nonsense even when we talk it about God.”

if we asked God, "how far is it from yellow to Christmas," he could not tell us, becuz it is logically impossible

I agree that it is nonsense - if you recall I’m playing devils advocate. Perhaps we should move over to religion discussion… 
Impossibility and nonsense aren’t the same thing, though - miracles are impossible without making no sense. Bread from the sky is a violation of conservation of energy and the second law of thermodynamics, for instance. God can break His laws, as long as they still make sense - a string of nonsensical words is different than five blood clots which together weigh the same as one individually (this is a real miracle, though I may have the number wrong). If I’m doing math, I can’t say that 1=2, but I can use i even though it doesn’t have any possible real value. I had a math problem a while ago in which I was told a+b=1 and ab=1; this is impossible, but I was still able to do math with it - if I recall I had to add (1/a^3)+(1/b^3). 
In short, nonsense and contradiction are not the same thing. 

[TwinStorm He/Him]

Just now, Dragonheir said:

I agree that it is nonsense - if you recall I’m playing devils advocate. Perhaps we should move over to religion discussion… 
Impossibility and nonsense aren’t the same thing, though - miracles are impossible without making no sense. Bread from the sky is a violation of conservation of energy and the second law of thermodynamics, for instance. God can break His laws, as long as they still make sense - a string of nonsensical words is different than five blood clots which together weigh the same as one individually (this is a real miracle, though I may have the number wrong). If I’m doing math, I can’t say that 1=2, but I can use i even though it doesn’t have any possible real value. I had a math problem a while ago in which I was told a+b=1 and ab=1; this is impossible, but I was still able to do math with it - if I recall I had to add (1/a^3)+(1/b^3). 
In short, nonsense and contradiction are not the same thing. 

sure, I can agree to this, doesn't mean my answer was wrong