Mental health club!

[𝖂𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖊]

21 hours ago, Hawks said:

HEY YOU STOP RIGHT HERE!!!!!!

YES YOU I KNOW YOUR READING THIS.

text is not enough at all to convey this

But hoid has a message to all of you!!! Right now!

 

 

This dude who does the voice overs is great when it comes to stuff like this. 

NOW REMEMBER THIS FOREVER

*HUGS* 

Gergwgrgrrrrr

Freaking loud houses suck. 

Its alright.

They should be gone soon hopefully

*hugs*

Can you get out of the house with like dabi or someone 

Its giving hoid 

Hoid. The best therapist. No contest.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

6 hours ago, alittleinsane said:

concert is tonight

my school concert is tonighttttt

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGG

do NOT tell me good luck that will RUIN it please just encourage me while i break that one chorus kid's legs

Break all their

*counts on fingers*

Legs, arms, fingers, toes, kneecaps, and spinal bones. 

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

On 5/21/2025 at 3:42 PM, MirkerLurker said:

So:

Yes, it will get bad again. 

But then it will get good again. 

And it will get less bad the next time. And more good the next time. 

We fluctuate. We go up and down. Healing progress that we make doesn't guarantee us "no more bad". But it lessens the bad and increases the good, and makes the good periods longer and the bad ones shorter. So when it eventually does start to feel bad again, remember that it won't last. And you will have good again.

And with that stated, enjoy the good time! The bad will come again, yes, but right now it's good! The bad can be dealt with when it comes. Don't let steal the happiness from the good of right now. Grab the good with both hands and spin it on circles!

*Hug*

So celebrate again when you are feeling good! Enjoy what you can about the "correct timing" celebrations (and I hope you do feel better for them), but then have another one later!

*Hugs*

*proudly waves weirdo flag*

*Looks at Stormcursed*

*Wraps weirdo flag around Stormcursed's shoulders, gives another hug, and hands a brownie*

Oooof. You need a bubble to escape into and take a nap. *hug*

So. As an adult, I can tell you it will be ok. 

It does get better. 

Some of the getting better takes work. Some of it takes time. But it does get better.

I realize that's fairly vague. But on the overall whole, it's also true. Won't always look or feel like it's true. But zooming out and taking a wider perspective, it's true.

*late hugs back*

*breaks brownie in half*

*offers back other half*

On 5/21/2025 at 5:40 PM, Hoid Slayer said:

*hugs*

I'm a little late to this one, but

*INFINITE hugs*

I feel you

And I don't know

I get the part about getting used to it

I hope things get better

Maybe we should hang on, just in case they do?

*hugs back*

 

Can't go through everything, but *HUGS* to anyone and everyone

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

8 hours ago, alittleinsane said:

concert is tonight

my school concert is tonighttttt

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGG

do NOT tell me good luck that will RUIN it please just encourage me while i break that one chorus kid's legs

Umm...

*resists urge to say it*

*thinks of something else to say*

Wait

"RUIN it"?

Mistborn reference? 

4 hours ago, 𝖂𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖊 said:

Hoid. The best therapist. No contest.

*pats myself on the back*

I know 

Spoiler

 Sorry

Couldn't resist 

28 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

*late hugs back*

*breaks brownie in half*

*offers back other half*

*hugs back*

 

Can't go through everything, but *HUGS* to anyone and everyone

*hugs thee as well*

[MirkerLurker she/her]

57 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

*late hugs back*

*breaks brownie in half*

*offers back other half*

*hugs back*

...

*stares for an awkwardly long moment at the brownie half*

*takes brownie half*

*smushes self against Storm's side, shoulder to shoulder*

*eats brownie half*

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

UPDATE CONCERT WENT GREAT YALL!

no people harmed in the breaking of these legs

[𝖂𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖊]

11 hours ago, Hoid Slayer said:

Umm...

*resists urge to say it*

*thinks of something else to say*

Wait

"RUIN it"?

Mistborn reference? 

*pats myself on the back*

I know 

  Reveal hidden contents

 Sorry

Couldn't resist 

*hugs thee as well*

Spoiler

Fair enough 

 

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

3 hours ago, alittleinsane said:

UPDATE CONCERT WENT GREAT YALL!

no people harmed in the breaking of these legs

WOO HOO  

[Keke They/he]

13 hours ago, Hoid Slayer said:

Umm...

*resists urge to say it*

*thinks of something else to say*

Wait

"RUIN it"?

Mistborn reference? 

*pats myself on the back*

I know 

  Reveal hidden contents

 Sorry

Couldn't resist 

*hugs thee as well*

(T＿T)

3 hours ago, alittleinsane said:

UPDATE CONCERT WENT GREAT YALL!

no people harmed in the breaking of these legs

Yay!!!!

 

Yall

I just took a test

That's 50 percent of my grade

If I dont get at least a 50 then I fail the class

And I didnt knoe a single question on the test.                 (゜_゜;)  ＼(>_<)／

Edited May 23, 2025 by Hawks

[MirkerLurker she/her]

4 hours ago, alittleinsane said:

UPDATE CONCERT WENT GREAT YALL!

no people harmed in the breaking of these legs

Woo hoo!!

1 hour ago, Hawks said:

(T＿T)

Yay!!!!

 

Yall

I just took a test

That's 50 percent of my grade

If I dont get at least a 50 then I fail the class

And I didnt knoe a single question on the test.                 (゜_゜;)  ＼(>_<)／

Oh noes. 

 

 

GUYS GUYS GUESS WHAT?!

You know that super awkward social situation where someone else knows your name and says hi, and you have no idea who that person is??

I just had that happen, and I successfully navigated it!! I managed to make it not awkward, and then I engaged in small talk until my order was ready!! AND I managed to remember their name by the end of the conversation!!

I've attracted gloryspren, I tell you.

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

3 hours ago, MirkerLurker said:

Woo hoo!!

Oh noes. 

 

 

GUYS GUYS GUESS WHAT?!

You know that super awkward social situation where someone else knows your name and says hi, and you have no idea who that person is??

I just had that happen, and I successfully navigated it!! I managed to make it not awkward, and then I engaged in small talk until my order was ready!! AND I managed to remember their name by the end of the conversation!!

I've attracted gloryspren, I tell you.

Very impressive I didn’t realize such a feat was even possible

[Keke They/he]

This is a vent.

tw sh and probably suicidal thoughts or smthng idk im writing this warning before I type it all out

Spoiler

first. WHY CANT I BE HAPPY

I feel joy and excitement then its gone in a second all I can do nowadays is cry. I want to be ok and I should be ok!! I say j am to my friends then regret it but dont feel like tsking it bsck because they have their own issues and I cant even figure out what mine are. All I can say is life bc thats all it is. I shouldn't be upset abt the divorce anymore bc its been months. I shouldn't be worried about summer bc surely the arguing wont return. I SHOULDNT BE TRYING TO PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN MYSELF FROM TAKING THE NEAREST IBJECT AND MAKING MYSELD A CUTTING BOARD. 

WHY CANT I BE OK. Im annoying people from my issues and I dont want to be a burden. All progress I made came undone because the yelling has slowly started to return. Im reverting baxk and I cant stop it. Ive stopped talking to pple about my issues because thats how it eas before. Im scared to talk to anyone now without them leaving me.everything I got over. My abandonment issues, and people pleasing is coming back. I cant stop it. So now i just say im fine and continue on my day until I start having an anxiety attack bc someone gives a talk about how with this church everyone is happy and family is the best thing in your lige and how families are happy together and perfect. 

I feel guilty for being so hurt because others have worse things. 

Any dopamine I get disapears in a second and everything I look at makes the sh urges get worse. Honestly at this point the only reason im still alive is bc I dont want to hurt friends who need me because I help them. 

I cant even eat normally bc I eat then I feel bad bc I "ate to much" then I want to starve myself but I cant cause then my blood sugar drops and I almost pass out. I cant go out without feeling subconsious and insecure about everything. When did that become an issue? I wish I wish but I domt even have any ability to make said wishes come true. 

But I dont have any reason to feel any of that except when people comment on my looks thinking its nothing but every single word hurts me. My dammed emotions are like a sensitive controller. Ive literally been diagnosed with it. When you feel happy im excited. What would be an excited is like cant breath bc im jumping and squealing. Then when im depressed its so bad I cant get out of it. I wish I felt emotions like a normal human being and didn't have any of these issues.

I want to go to another state so I can leave this stupid city behind. I want to go to Colorado and hang put with my friend. I want to go to Utah so I can see some of you guys. I want to see my cousins again because I haven't seen them in forever.

I want to be accepted for who I am. 

I need to hear someone important to me verbally say that Im not useless. I feel like rust and words on a screen have stopped helping me. 

I just want to. Be ok. Even if the ok is just a meh feeling and not a I hate my life.

Am I to annoying? Do I talk to much? Am I to close? Do I seem ro distant? Do I feel to much?  Im either ti close or to far. To clingy. I talk to much im to loud im to energetic. And not smart enough. All these things im told.  

Maybe if someone took away my emotions then id be ok. 

 

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

On 5/23/2025 at 9:45 AM, Hawks said:

(T＿T)

Yay!!!!

 

Yall

I just took a test

That's 50 percent of my grade

If I dont get at least a 50 then I fail the class

And I didnt knoe a single question on the test.                 (゜_゜;)  ＼(>_<)／

Oh geez

*sends magic question answering back in the past*

On 5/23/2025 at 11:00 AM, MirkerLurker said:

Woo hoo!!

Oh noes. 

 

 

GUYS GUYS GUESS WHAT?!

You know that super awkward social situation where someone else knows your name and says hi, and you have no idea who that person is??

I just had that happen, and I successfully navigated it!! I managed to make it not awkward, and then I engaged in small talk until my order was ready!! AND I managed to remember their name by the end of the conversation!!

I've attracted gloryspren, I tell you.

OH MY GOSH, FREAKING YAY

38 minutes ago, Hawks said:

This is a vent.

tw sh and probably suicidal thoughts or smthng idk im writing this warning before I type it all out

  Reveal hidden contents

first. WHY CANT I BE HAPPY

I feel joy and excitement then its gone in a second all I can do nowadays is cry. I want to be ok and I should be ok!! I say j am to my friends then regret it but dont feel like tsking it bsck because they have their own issues and I cant even figure out what mine are. All I can say is life bc thats all it is. I shouldn't be upset abt the divorce anymore bc its been months. I shouldn't be worried about summer bc surely the arguing wont return. I SHOULDNT BE TRYING TO PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN MYSELF FROM TAKING THE NEAREST IBJECT AND MAKING MYSELD A CUTTING BOARD. 

WHY CANT I BE OK. Im annoying people from my issues and I dont want to be a burden. All progress I made came undone because the yelling has slowly started to return. Im reverting baxk and I cant stop it. Ive stopped talking to pple about my issues because thats how it eas before. Im scared to talk to anyone now without them leaving me.everything I got over. My abandonment issues, and people pleasing is coming back. I cant stop it. So now i just say im fine and continue on my day until I start having an anxiety attack bc someone gives a talk about how with this church everyone is happy and family is the best thing in your lige and how families are happy together and perfect. 

I feel guilty for being so hurt because others have worse things. 

Any dopamine I get disapears in a second and everything I look at makes the sh urges get worse. Honestly at this point the only reason im still alive is bc I dont want to hurt friends who need me because I help them. 

I cant even eat normally bc I eat then I feel bad bc I "ate to much" then I want to starve myself but I cant cause then my blood sugar drops and I almost pass out. I cant go out without feeling subconsious and insecure about everything. When did that become an issue? I wish I wish but I domt even have any ability to make said wishes come true. 

But I dont have any reason to feel any of that except when people comment on my looks thinking its nothing but every single word hurts me. My dammed emotions are like a sensitive controller. Ive literally been diagnosed with it. When you feel happy im excited. What would be an excited is like cant breath bc im jumping and squealing. Then when im depressed its so bad I cant get out of it. I wish I felt emotions like a normal human being and didn't have any of these issues.

I want to go to another state so I can leave this stupid city behind. I want to go to Colorado and hang put with my friend. I want to go to Utah so I can see some of you guys. I want to see my cousins again because I haven't seen them in forever.

I want to be accepted for who I am. 

I need to hear someone important to me verbally say that Im not useless. I feel like rust and words on a screen have stopped helping me. 

I just want to. Be ok. Even if the ok is just a meh feeling and not a I hate my life.

Am I to annoying? Do I talk to much? Am I to close? Do I seem ro distant? Do I feel to much?  Im either ti close or to far. To clingy. I talk to much im to loud im to energetic. And not smart enough. All these things im told.  

Maybe if someone took away my emotions then id be ok. 

 

*hugs, hugs, hugs* I’m guessing what I’m gonna say next is gonna be kinda useless, but I’m gonna try. I really care about you, okay, Hawks? 

First, I promise you it’s not “shouldn’t”. Emotions are hard, especially for you. This is one of the battle you’re fighting, and it’s okay to be fighting this battle. It may seem stupid to you, but I promise it’s not. Something that helps me is to acknowledge that something is an issue and try different things to resolve it— different thought patterns, schedules, journaling, and stuff like that. A lot of my issues and depression are me trying to root out the depression I rehearsed into myself back when I felt lonely and found more and more things to depress myself with so I could get support from my friends (it wasn’t intentional, but it’s what happened). I think it’s a stupid battle to be fighting, and some nights I look at myself and wonder why I let myself ruin my emotions like that. I didn’t. I may have assigned certain thought patterns to the emotions, but my mom has some of the same issues that she struggles with every month.

All that to say that your battles aren’t stupid. Your battles are opportunities to learn and grow. Before I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday, I asked my dad for a blessing because I was kinda freaking out. The line that stood out to me a lot was “He is carefully selecting and jealously guarding your trials”. That was incredible to hear to me. I’m not going to go through anything needlessly. I don’t know if it helps, but it’s what I needed to hear, so I thought I’d share it. 

Actually, I don’t know if any of this will help. But… I dunno. I wanna try. 

*hugs* 

I know it’s not verbal and you probably don’t care about me, but the very LAST thing you are is useless. You’re so fun and bubbly and you’ve helped a lot of us and given us hugs and checked up on us and I promise you that’s seen results. Thank you for what you’ve done for us. 

Lastly—

You will be warm again. It sounds empty now, but it just takes some time. Wait it out. Do what you can to enjoy the moments things feel nice. Keep us updated on how you feel. Call me if you need to (I’m a lot more likely to answer if we schedule first, since my phone’s always on D&D, but I’ll try and pick up when I can). 

It sucks now. I honestly don’t know if I could go through a divorce. That’s really, really rough. I’m not trying to diminish it when I promise there’s light coming your way. I know the pattern maybe better than anyone. It’s coming.

 

Uh

Sorry for the useless ramble. *more hugs* 

[Keke They/he]

3 minutes ago, Bird Furious said:

hugs, hugs, hugs* I’m guessing what I’m gonna say next is gonna be kinda useless, but I’m gonna try. I really care about you, okay, Hawks? 

Haly at this point anytbing helps *hugs*

 

4 minutes ago, Bird Furious said:

First, I promise you it’s not “shouldn’t”. Emotions are hard, especially for you. This is one of the battle you’re fighting, and it’s okay to be fighting this battle. It may seem stupid to you, but I promise it’s not. Something that helps me is to acknowledge that something is an issue and try different things to resolve it— different thought patterns, schedules, journaling, and stuff like that. A lot of my issues and depression are me trying to root out the depression I rehearsed into myself back when I felt lonely and found more and more things to depress myself with so I could get support from my friends (it wasn’t intentional, but it’s what happened). I think it’s a stupid battle to be fighting, and some nights I look at myself and wonder why I let myself ruin my emotions like that. I didn’t. I may have assigned certain thought patterns to the emotions, but my mom has some of the same issues that she struggles with every month

See this is.

.

Ok what looks like me turning stuff down i swear im not.

I tend not to go to people unless I've tried it all. This included the pattern finding and Journaling and breathing and taking a break. I know what people are going to say so I do it before they can recommend it then when I tell them about said issue they say what I expected and I tell them I tried and it sounds like im just deflecting help and I dont mean it to sound that way but it does. I swear im not. I swear swear on it. 

I cant find a pattern. And the only triggers I can find are yelling and getting in trouble. And the pattern  normally is I get depressed then eventually snap put of it and happy for a while then cycles around but noe it's depressed hap- nope depressed. And it's got no logical pattern i can find. 

10 minutes ago, Bird Furious said:

Actually, I don’t know if any of this will help. But… I dunno. I wanna try. 

This helped alot more then you think. 

11 minutes ago, Bird Furious said:

know it’s not verbal and you probably don’t care about me, but the very LAST thing you are is useless. You’re so fun and bubbly and you’ve helped a lot of us and given us hugs and checked up on us and I promise you that’s seen results. Thank you for what you’ve done for us. 

Thank you haly. *hugs*

 

11 minutes ago, Bird Furious said:

You will be warm again. It sounds empty now, but it just takes some time. Wait it out. Do what you can to enjoy the moments things feel nice. Keep us updated on how you feel. Call me if you need to (I’m a lot more likely to answer if we schedule first, since my phone’s always on D&D, but I’ll try and pick up when I can). 

I try to talk to people but when I say reverting back I mean before I joined the shard and whatnot I wouldn't tell anyone anything bc I was scared they would yell at me for my emotions and so much has happened lately that has somehow managed to take my brain and make me think im back ther.e this included the argument with my dad where I opened up and he yelled at me that being myself is the devil's way of tearing apart family's and my brother and mom yelling is back which causes more flashbacks and im rambling again.

13 minutes ago, Bird Furious said:

Sorry for the useless ramble. *more hugs*

It wasn't useless. I need to actually open up to people and responding to my stuff with enough words that I can have a talk back and open up more. Its very useful 

*hugs*

And im not responding to the psrt abt religion bc im actually not sure how I feel about religion anymore. Yay add that onto my pile of issues I have right now. 

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

24 minutes ago, Hawks said:

 

Ok what looks like me turning stuff down i swear im not.

I tend not to go to people unless I've tried it all. This included the pattern finding and Journaling and breathing and taking a break. I know what people are going to say so I do it before they can recommend it then when I tell them about said issue they say what I expected and I tell them I tried and it sounds like im just deflecting help and I dont mean it to sound that way but it does. I swear im not. I swear swear on it. 

I cant find a pattern. And the only triggers I can find are yelling and getting in trouble. And the pattern  normally is I get depressed then eventually snap put of it and happy for a while then cycles around but noe it's depressed hap- nope depressed. And it's got no logical pattern i can find. 

-

I try to talk to people but when I say reverting back I mean before I joined the shard and whatnot I wouldn't tell anyone anything bc I was scared they would yell at me for my emotions and so much has happened lately that has somehow managed to take my brain and make me think im back ther.e this included the argument with my dad where I opened up and he yelled at me that being myself is the devil's way of tearing apart family's and my brother and mom yelling is back which causes more flashbacks and im rambling again.

-

*hugs*

And im not responding to the psrt abt religion bc im actually not sure how I feel about religion anymore. Yay add that onto my pile of issues I have right now. 

No worries, I get that. We’ll be here when the cycle turns downwards. Something that’s helped me especially is realizing I have people around me to support me. And eventually I hope you find that too. 

-

Rambling is okay. *hugs* That’s really rough, and he definitely shouldn’t have said that, especially with the emotional pressures you’re dealing with right now. 

-

That’s okay. I go through dead patches a lot. Please don’t give up on God, though. He is there and he does love you. The one thing that’s helped me most recently is trying to be close to Him. 

Just my suggestions though.  

You’re gonna be ok, all right? You’re strong. 

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

8 hours ago, Hawks said:

This is a vent.

tw sh and probably suicidal thoughts or smthng idk im writing this warning before I type it all out

  Hide contents

first. WHY CANT I BE HAPPY

I feel joy and excitement then its gone in a second all I can do nowadays is cry. I want to be ok and I should be ok!! I say j am to my friends then regret it but dont feel like tsking it bsck because they have their own issues and I cant even figure out what mine are. All I can say is life bc thats all it is. I shouldn't be upset abt the divorce anymore bc its been months. I shouldn't be worried about summer bc surely the arguing wont return. I SHOULDNT BE TRYING TO PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN MYSELF FROM TAKING THE NEAREST IBJECT AND MAKING MYSELD A CUTTING BOARD. 

WHY CANT I BE OK. Im annoying people from my issues and I dont want to be a burden. All progress I made came undone because the yelling has slowly started to return. Im reverting baxk and I cant stop it. Ive stopped talking to pple about my issues because thats how it eas before. Im scared to talk to anyone now without them leaving me.everything I got over. My abandonment issues, and people pleasing is coming back. I cant stop it. So now i just say im fine and continue on my day until I start having an anxiety attack bc someone gives a talk about how with this church everyone is happy and family is the best thing in your lige and how families are happy together and perfect. 

I feel guilty for being so hurt because others have worse things. 

Any dopamine I get disapears in a second and everything I look at makes the sh urges get worse. Honestly at this point the only reason im still alive is bc I dont want to hurt friends who need me because I help them. 

I cant even eat normally bc I eat then I feel bad bc I "ate to much" then I want to starve myself but I cant cause then my blood sugar drops and I almost pass out. I cant go out without feeling subconsious and insecure about everything. When did that become an issue? I wish I wish but I domt even have any ability to make said wishes come true. 

But I dont have any reason to feel any of that except when people comment on my looks thinking its nothing but every single word hurts me. My dammed emotions are like a sensitive controller. Ive literally been diagnosed with it. When you feel happy im excited. What would be an excited is like cant breath bc im jumping and squealing. Then when im depressed its so bad I cant get out of it. I wish I felt emotions like a normal human being and didn't have any of these issues.

I want to go to another state so I can leave this stupid city behind. I want to go to Colorado and hang put with my friend. I want to go to Utah so I can see some of you guys. I want to see my cousins again because I haven't seen them in forever.

I want to be accepted for who I am. 

I need to hear someone important to me verbally say that Im not useless. I feel like rust and words on a screen have stopped helping me. 

I just want to. Be ok. Even if the ok is just a meh feeling and not a I hate my life.

Am I to annoying? Do I talk to much? Am I to close? Do I seem ro distant? Do I feel to much?  Im either ti close or to far. To clingy. I talk to much im to loud im to energetic. And not smart enough. All these things im told.  

Maybe if someone took away my emotions then id be ok. 

 

*HUGS*

I'm sorry I don't have good words right now, but I can tell you that YOU ARE NOT USELESS

Also to put in my two cents for the above conversation:

Spoiler

Please don't hate me y'all

Spoiler

Ok I obviously wanna preface this by saying: I don't hate religion, and I have zero problem with it. It helps a lot of people, and that's really great.

But, and again this is just my opinion and please don't hate me for this, I don't necessarily think religion is always the best help. I say this as someone who has tried various forms of Christianity and has a lot of religious friends: religion just has nothing to offer me that I haven't already found. Obviously religion can be very helpful, but I just want to emphasize that if you don't feel religion, or at least your current religion/branch of religion, is right for you, don't stick with it just because you feel you need to. If there is some higher power, I doubt they particularly care how you worship them or even if you worship them so long as you can spread good in the world. Clearly people will disagree with me, and that's fine—this is just my own opinion—but I think what we should be focused on the most is just spreading and building community and good.

 

 

[Keke They/he]

3 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

*HUGS*

I'm sorry I don't have good words right now, but I can tell you that YOU ARE NOT USELESS

Also to put in my two cents for the above conversation:

  Hide contents

Please don't hate me y'all

  Hide contents

Ok I obviously wanna preface this by saying: I don't hate religion, and I have zero problem with it. It helps a lot of people, and that's really great.

But, and again this is just my opinion and please don't hate me for this, I don't necessarily think religion is always the best help. I say this as someone who has tried various forms of Christianity and has a lot of religious friends: religion just has nothing to offer me that I haven't already found. Obviously religion can be very helpful, but I just want to emphasize that if you don't feel religion, or at least your current religion/branch of religion, is right for you, don't stick with it just because you feel you need to. If there is some higher power, I doubt they particularly care how you worship them or even if you worship them so long as you can spread good in the world. Clearly people will disagree with me, and that's fine—this is just my own opinion—but I think what we should be focused on the most is just spreading and building community and good.

 

 

*hugs* its ok

-

Spoiler

I actually have been starting to agree with your statements the past few months. Honestly. People talk about how they have been helped and its like awesome and that god knows how you feel so he can help. But then i reach the point that. If god knows how I feel then why isn't he helping? Its been what.... 6 years of the depression and horrible mental state? And I tried praying and reading g scriptures and what's worked? Talking to my friends and listening to music. Im glad for those people who have found great help in religion but I dont think I can. I cant tell my dad that bc one time I even brought it up and he said 'I hope your not thinking about it because religion has been one of the main things that keeps this family alive' well in my case my friends are why im alove. Not god. And second. I just have a trauma barrier stopping me from telling my mom anything. 

 

10 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

No worries, I get that. We’ll be here when the cycle turns downwards. Something that’s helped me especially is realizing I have people around me to support me. And eventually I hope you find that too. 

-

Rambling is okay. *hugs* That’s really rough, and he definitely shouldn’t have said that, especially with the emotional pressures you’re dealing with right now. 

-

That’s okay. I go through dead patches a lot. Please don’t give up on God, though. He is there and he does love you. The one thing that’s helped me most recently is trying to be close to Him. 

Just my suggestions though.  

You’re gonna be ok, all right? You’re strong. 

Thank you haly. *hugs* 

[The Druid of the West He/Him]

Hello guys,

although I am new here I can already appreciate and see the loving and supporting community everyone here has built and every single person I see in this thread I just want to give the biggest hug whether they are supporting or leaning on others. I hope you all realise how great you people are as even “just” creating a place where people safe and secure enough to share their thoughts, in the real world or online, is a tremendous achievement. From everything I have read and seen so far, you are all incredible, wonderful, intelligent  people and none of you deserve to or should feel like you are any less than fantastic.

one thing that really helps me, idk if it will help u guys, is thinking about something I will do tomorrow, something I will do for myself. Not selfishly for myself but because I deserve it and you all deserve it too. It could be something like seeing a friend or sitting in a park, just something peaceful, something you believe could make you happy. 
 

Another is, like hoid says, remembering the sun will shine again, even when it feels so dark and dead inside. 
 

And I know it is so hard to swing your mood From dark to light, so hard it can seem impossible. But eventually, it will swing as long as we do not give up on trying to swing it.
The best way I find is talking to people. Making friendships, forming bonds, doing what this thread encourages. Speaking. 
 

I have kind of just rambled on through overused methods but I think they are overused because they do help, not work, I don’t think anything can entirely work, but help. 

I have suffered with severe anxiety and it has just stopped me doing anything. Stopped me sleeping, keeping active, just overall doing the things I love. Every time I have moved to do anything, my stomach has twisted and I have been overwhelmed by the worst possible outcomes that could come from it. I have felt so trapped. It is a fear I do not believe I can describe with words but I will try. A strange fear that lasts for months if not years on end. Sometimes it is less, sometimes more. It is something you can not just shrug off even when you know it is irrational and you do not deserve it. It constantly lies beneath my skin, waiting for a moment to consume me. When it does consume me I feel so trapped, I am filled with anger and pain and fear. I do not know what or who I am angry with. The pain is internal and searing, as if a fire burns in my stomach. The fear is of everything. Every single thought that crawls into my accursed head is terrifying. 
 

It is gone now. While it does come back sometimes, it is far far less frequent. I go full weeks without it. I do not know what happened. I do not know what I did. All of the techniques above helped me, but did not rid me of it. I assume it will return but whilst it is gone I will enjoy life. I will do the things I would not have before. And though I physically cannot, I will try to enjoy every single moment that comes to me instead of waiting for the world to hand me moments to enjoy. 
 

I want to help all of you so much, my heart aches that some of you are filled with so much pain or emptiness. I think we must all find our own way to help ourselves but that does not mean not talking to friends/family or just people who want to help.

I am sorry if I just rambled on and I send my love to you all. Life before death

[Cookie Spren]

A Message To All Y'all:

Spoiler

Nom

 

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

21 minutes ago, The Druid of the West said:

Hello guys,

although I am new here I can already appreciate and see the loving and supporting community everyone here has built and every single person I see in this thread I just want to give the biggest hug whether they are supporting or leaning on others. I hope you all realise how great you people are as even “just” creating a place where people safe and secure enough to share their thoughts, in the real world or online, is a tremendous achievement. From everything I have read and seen so far, you are all incredible, wonderful, intelligent  people and none of you deserve to or should feel like you are any less than fantastic.

one thing that really helps me, idk if it will help u guys, is thinking about something I will do tomorrow, something I will do for myself. Not selfishly for myself but because I deserve it and you all deserve it too. It could be something like seeing a friend or sitting in a park, just something peaceful, something you believe could make you happy. 
 

Another is, like hoid says, remembering the sun will shine again, even when it feels so dark and dead inside. 
 

And I know it is so hard to swing your mood From dark to light, so hard it can seem impossible. But eventually, it will swing as long as we do not give up on trying to swing it.
The best way I find is talking to people. Making friendships, forming bonds, doing what this thread encourages. Speaking. 
 

I have kind of just rambled on through overused methods but I think they are overused because they do help, not work, I don’t think anything can entirely work, but help. 

I have suffered with severe anxiety and it has just stopped me doing anything. Stopped me sleeping, keeping active, just overall doing the things I love. Every time I have moved to do anything, my stomach has twisted and I have been overwhelmed by the worst possible outcomes that could come from it. I have felt so trapped. It is a fear I do not believe I can describe with words but I will try. A strange fear that lasts for months if not years on end. Sometimes it is less, sometimes more. It is something you can not just shrug off even when you know it is irrational and you do not deserve it. It constantly lies beneath my skin, waiting for a moment to consume me. When it does consume me I feel so trapped, I am filled with anger and pain and fear. I do not know what or who I am angry with. The pain is internal and searing, as if a fire burns in my stomach. The fear is of everything. Every single thought that crawls into my accursed head is terrifying. 
 

It is gone now. While it does come back sometimes, it is far far less frequent. I go full weeks without it. I do not know what happened. I do not know what I did. All of the techniques above helped me, but did not rid me of it. I assume it will return but whilst it is gone I will enjoy life. I will do the things I would not have before. And though I physically cannot, I will try to enjoy every single moment that comes to me instead of waiting for the world to hand me moments to enjoy. 
 

I want to help all of you so much, my heart aches that some of you are filled with so much pain or emptiness. I think we must all find our own way to help ourselves but that does not mean not talking to friends/family or just people who want to help.

I am sorry if I just rambled on and I send my love to you all. Life before death

*hugs*

Rule #1: Don't be sorry for rambling

This community IS awesome

You guys have helped me get through stuff

And you all deserve the best

Life before death 

7 minutes ago, The Sly Cookie said:

A Message To All Y'all:

  Reveal hidden contents

Nom

 

*gasps*

COOKIE!!!!!!!!!

*tackles*

[Cookie Spren]

3 minutes ago, Hoid Slayer said:

*gasps*

COOKIE!!!!!!!!!

*tackles*

Helloooo.....

[Keke They/he]

21 minutes ago, The Druid of the West said:

Hello guys,

although I am new here I can already appreciate and see the loving and supporting community everyone here has built and every single person I see in this thread I just want to give the biggest hug whether they are supporting or leaning on others. I hope you all realise how great you people are as even “just” creating a place where people safe and secure enough to share their thoughts, in the real world or online, is a tremendous achievement. From everything I have read and seen so far, you are all incredible, wonderful, intelligent  people and none of you deserve to or should feel like you are any less than fantastic.

one thing that really helps me, idk if it will help u guys, is thinking about something I will do tomorrow, something I will do for myself. Not selfishly for myself but because I deserve it and you all deserve it too. It could be something like seeing a friend or sitting in a park, just something peaceful, something you believe could make you happy. 
 

Another is, like hoid says, remembering the sun will shine again, even when it feels so dark and dead inside. 
 

And I know it is so hard to swing your mood From dark to light, so hard it can seem impossible. But eventually, it will swing as long as we do not give up on trying to swing it.
The best way I find is talking to people. Making friendships, forming bonds, doing what this thread encourages. Speaking. 
 

I have kind of just rambled on through overused methods but I think they are overused because they do help, not work, I don’t think anything can entirely work, but help. 

I have suffered with severe anxiety and it has just stopped me doing anything. Stopped me sleeping, keeping active, just overall doing the things I love. Every time I have moved to do anything, my stomach has twisted and I have been overwhelmed by the worst possible outcomes that could come from it. I have felt so trapped. It is a fear I do not believe I can describe with words but I will try. A strange fear that lasts for months if not years on end. Sometimes it is less, sometimes more. It is something you can not just shrug off even when you know it is irrational and you do not deserve it. It constantly lies beneath my skin, waiting for a moment to consume me. When it does consume me I feel so trapped, I am filled with anger and pain and fear. I do not know what or who I am angry with. The pain is internal and searing, as if a fire burns in my stomach. The fear is of everything. Every single thought that crawls into my accursed head is terrifying. 
 

It is gone now. While it does come back sometimes, it is far far less frequent. I go full weeks without it. I do not know what happened. I do not know what I did. All of the techniques above helped me, but did not rid me of it. I assume it will return but whilst it is gone I will enjoy life. I will do the things I would not have before. And though I physically cannot, I will try to enjoy every single moment that comes to me instead of waiting for the world to hand me moments to enjoy. 
 

I want to help all of you so much, my heart aches that some of you are filled with so much pain or emptiness. I think we must all find our own way to help ourselves but that does not mean not talking to friends/family or just people who want to help.

I am sorry if I just rambled on and I send my love to you all. Life before death

HaiiiiiiiIiiiiiii what is up newbie

Welcome and thanks. I shall use this advice. Twas helpful. *hugs*

6 minutes ago, The Sly Cookie said:

A Message To All Y'all:

  Reveal hidden contents

Nom

 

HOW DO YOU ENLARGE YOUR TEXT!!!!

BRUH

*cries*

Chat my sister is giving a talk in church today. We have the biggest ward. Like 2 to 3 hundred active member. *dances*

Guys im going insane.

Now talk bc this is why I actually came on this rn

Spoiler

Whats the best way to get over stuff like abandonment issues?cause yall if I dont get at word from my friends for longer then two days I oanic and its kowkey annoying cause then I like talk to them alot then they get on and like dude chill cause I was doing my own stuff like guys what?

 

4 minutes ago, Hoid Slayer said:

*hugs*

Rule #1: Don't be sorry for rambling

This community IS awesome

You guys have helped me get through stuff

And you all deserve the best

Life before death 

*gasps*

COOKIE!!!!!!!!!

*tackles*

*joins tackle* 

Just now, The Sly Cookie said:

Helloooo.....

CHAT HES ALIVE

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

5 minutes ago, The Sly Cookie said:

Helloooo.....

HELLO :::))

5 minutes ago, Hawks said:

CHAT HES ALIVE

I KNOW

IT'S INSANE

5 minutes ago, Hawks said:

HOW DO YOU ENLARGE YOUR TEXT!!!!

BRUH

*cries*

Chat my sister is giving a talk in church today. We have the biggest ward. Like 2 to 3 hundred active member. *dances*

Guys im going insane.

Now talk bc this is why I actually came on this rn

  Hide contents

Whats the best way to get over stuff like abandonment issues?cause yall if I dont get at word from my friends for longer then two days I oanic and its kowkey annoying cause then I like talk to them alot then they get on and like dude chill cause I was doing my own stuff like guys what?

*hugs*

I don't know

But I know your friends definitely don't mean it in that way

I'm not that close with my friends. We don't talk all that much. But that doesn't mean I don't care about them.

And sometimes... you are doing your own stuff. And you don't realize what the other person is going through until its too late.

Of course, if they leave you on READ, that's a whole nother matter. But still. They probably don't realize the message they're giving off.

[Keke They/he]

1 minute ago, Hoid Slayer said:

HELLO :::))

I KNOW

IT'S INSANE

*hugs*

I don't know

But I know your friends definitely don't mean it in that way

I'm not that close with my friends. We don't talk all that much. But that doesn't mean I don't care about them.

And sometimes... you are doing your own stuff. And you don't realize what the other person is going through until its too late.

Of course, if they leave you on READ, that's a whole nother matter. But still. They probably don't realize the message they're giving off.

Crazy right

Ik. I realize thar then panc. Idk. *hmhmhmgmgmgn* 

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

15 hours ago, Hawks said:

This is a vent.

tw sh and probably suicidal thoughts or smthng idk im writing this warning before I type it all out

  Reveal hidden contents

first. WHY CANT I BE HAPPY

I feel joy and excitement then its gone in a second all I can do nowadays is cry. I want to be ok and I should be ok!! I say j am to my friends then regret it but dont feel like tsking it bsck because they have their own issues and I cant even figure out what mine are. All I can say is life bc thats all it is. I shouldn't be upset abt the divorce anymore bc its been months. I shouldn't be worried about summer bc surely the arguing wont return. I SHOULDNT BE TRYING TO PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN MYSELF FROM TAKING THE NEAREST IBJECT AND MAKING MYSELD A CUTTING BOARD. 

WHY CANT I BE OK. Im annoying people from my issues and I dont want to be a burden. All progress I made came undone because the yelling has slowly started to return. Im reverting baxk and I cant stop it. Ive stopped talking to pple about my issues because thats how it eas before. Im scared to talk to anyone now without them leaving me.everything I got over. My abandonment issues, and people pleasing is coming back. I cant stop it. So now i just say im fine and continue on my day until I start having an anxiety attack bc someone gives a talk about how with this church everyone is happy and family is the best thing in your lige and how families are happy together and perfect. 

I feel guilty for being so hurt because others have worse things. 

Any dopamine I get disapears in a second and everything I look at makes the sh urges get worse. Honestly at this point the only reason im still alive is bc I dont want to hurt friends who need me because I help them. 

I cant even eat normally bc I eat then I feel bad bc I "ate to much" then I want to starve myself but I cant cause then my blood sugar drops and I almost pass out. I cant go out without feeling subconsious and insecure about everything. When did that become an issue? I wish I wish but I domt even have any ability to make said wishes come true. 

But I dont have any reason to feel any of that except when people comment on my looks thinking its nothing but every single word hurts me. My dammed emotions are like a sensitive controller. Ive literally been diagnosed with it. When you feel happy im excited. What would be an excited is like cant breath bc im jumping and squealing. Then when im depressed its so bad I cant get out of it. I wish I felt emotions like a normal human being and didn't have any of these issues.

I want to go to another state so I can leave this stupid city behind. I want to go to Colorado and hang put with my friend. I want to go to Utah so I can see some of you guys. I want to see my cousins again because I haven't seen them in forever.

I want to be accepted for who I am. 

I need to hear someone important to me verbally say that Im not useless. I feel like rust and words on a screen have stopped helping me. 

I just want to. Be ok. Even if the ok is just a meh feeling and not a I hate my life.

Am I to annoying? Do I talk to much? Am I to close? Do I seem ro distant? Do I feel to much?  Im either ti close or to far. To clingy. I talk to much im to loud im to energetic. And not smart enough. All these things im told.  

Maybe if someone took away my emotions then id be ok. 

 

 

14 hours ago, Hawks said:

Haly at this point anytbing helps *hugs*

 

See this is.

.

Ok what looks like me turning stuff down i swear im not.

I tend not to go to people unless I've tried it all. This included the pattern finding and Journaling and breathing and taking a break. I know what people are going to say so I do it before they can recommend it then when I tell them about said issue they say what I expected and I tell them I tried and it sounds like im just deflecting help and I dont mean it to sound that way but it does. I swear im not. I swear swear on it. 

I cant find a pattern. And the only triggers I can find are yelling and getting in trouble. And the pattern  normally is I get depressed then eventually snap put of it and happy for a while then cycles around but noe it's depressed hap- nope depressed. And it's got no logical pattern i can find. 

This helped alot more then you think. 

Thank you haly. *hugs*

 

I try to talk to people but when I say reverting back I mean before I joined the shard and whatnot I wouldn't tell anyone anything bc I was scared they would yell at me for my emotions and so much has happened lately that has somehow managed to take my brain and make me think im back ther.e this included the argument with my dad where I opened up and he yelled at me that being myself is the devil's way of tearing apart family's and my brother and mom yelling is back which causes more flashbacks and im rambling again.

It wasn't useless. I need to actually open up to people and responding to my stuff with enough words that I can have a talk back and open up more. Its very useful 

*hugs*

And im not responding to the psrt abt religion bc im actually not sure how I feel about religion anymore. Yay add that onto my pile of issues I have right now. 

Oh my guy *big big hug*

You've had an awful lot to deal with in your whole life, and especially in recent months. You have every right to be in a bad place and to feel upset. Anyone, anyone, would be if they in your place.

You have every right to worry about stuff that might happen and affect you negatively, especially if that stuff already happened and affected you negatively and you are going to be in similar circumstances. Hell, it's so normal there's even a saying for that in my native language - chat échaudé craint l'eau froide, a cat who got burned [by boiling water] will fear even cold water. (There's certainly an equivalent one in English I can't think of right now.)

You aren't awful or ugly for your struggles. You're just a human with human feelings, under a lot of pressure. There's no shame in feeling bad or upset, or in reacting in the same way as many other people did before and after you. (I am not saying here that sh is good for you - it certainly isn't. What I am saying, is that feeling those urges and acting on them is not something you should beat yourself for.

(Sidenote: I understand to some degree how freaking hard it is to resist those urges. So the fact that you did, and many times according to your posts in the past few months, is absolutely incredible, and tells you are much stronger than you probably think you are.

Don't beat yourself up for the times you gave in in a moment of despair and confusion. But be proud of all the times when you regained a clear mind and resisted.

Okay parenthesis in parenthesis ends here))

You have every right to want the people you love to love you, and to love you as you are. What your father is saying to you is horrible, and you should feel upset about it, as any normal person would be.

 

I know how hard it feels, when all you can see is darkness and you start to think there is no end to it. But I promise you that, as Haly said, you will be warm again. It might feel distant, but I promise you that there is an end to the tunnel somewhere, and you're getting closer to it everyday.

*hugs tight and close*

 

 

1 hour ago, The Druid of the West said:

Hello guys,

although I am new here I can already appreciate and see the loving and supporting community everyone here has built and every single person I see in this thread I just want to give the biggest hug whether they are supporting or leaning on others. I hope you all realise how great you people are as even “just” creating a place where people safe and secure enough to share their thoughts, in the real world or online, is a tremendous achievement. From everything I have read and seen so far, you are all incredible, wonderful, intelligent  people and none of you deserve to or should feel like you are any less than fantastic.

one thing that really helps me, idk if it will help u guys, is thinking about something I will do tomorrow, something I will do for myself. Not selfishly for myself but because I deserve it and you all deserve it too. It could be something like seeing a friend or sitting in a park, just something peaceful, something you believe could make you happy. 
 

Another is, like hoid says, remembering the sun will shine again, even when it feels so dark and dead inside. 
 

And I know it is so hard to swing your mood From dark to light, so hard it can seem impossible. But eventually, it will swing as long as we do not give up on trying to swing it.
The best way I find is talking to people. Making friendships, forming bonds, doing what this thread encourages. Speaking. 
 

I have kind of just rambled on through overused methods but I think they are overused because they do help, not work, I don’t think anything can entirely work, but help. 

I have suffered with severe anxiety and it has just stopped me doing anything. Stopped me sleeping, keeping active, just overall doing the things I love. Every time I have moved to do anything, my stomach has twisted and I have been overwhelmed by the worst possible outcomes that could come from it. I have felt so trapped. It is a fear I do not believe I can describe with words but I will try. A strange fear that lasts for months if not years on end. Sometimes it is less, sometimes more. It is something you can not just shrug off even when you know it is irrational and you do not deserve it. It constantly lies beneath my skin, waiting for a moment to consume me. When it does consume me I feel so trapped, I am filled with anger and pain and fear. I do not know what or who I am angry with. The pain is internal and searing, as if a fire burns in my stomach. The fear is of everything. Every single thought that crawls into my accursed head is terrifying. 
 

It is gone now. While it does come back sometimes, it is far far less frequent. I go full weeks without it. I do not know what happened. I do not know what I did. All of the techniques above helped me, but did not rid me of it. I assume it will return but whilst it is gone I will enjoy life. I will do the things I would not have before. And though I physically cannot, I will try to enjoy every single moment that comes to me instead of waiting for the world to hand me moments to enjoy. 
 

I want to help all of you so much, my heart aches that some of you are filled with so much pain or emptiness. I think we must all find our own way to help ourselves but that does not mean not talking to friends/family or just people who want to help.

I am sorry if I just rambled on and I send my love to you all. Life before death

Hi and welcome dear newcomer!

Don't be sorry for rambling, this thread is here for that

I'm sorry you had to go through all that *hugs* And glad you could get out of it.

What you're saying about trying to enjoy the moments you have is honestly very wise. It's how I've been trying to approche stuff recently too. Not that it always worked though. But it's still helpful.

And yeah, your methods might be nothing new under the sun, but it's still the best we've all got, so reminding it to us doesn't hurt.

 

Btw @Hawks I want you to know how grateful I am (and many others are certainly) for creating this thread. It helped me so much in tough times, and I honestly think it, and the support y'all showed through all this, is one of the reasons this year winded up better than the last. (Well that wasn't a high bar to clear, but it still didn't look like it would be so a couple months ago.) You did so much good here, you have no idea.

 

Edit: wow. I should probably try to write my posts faster. Half the shard ninjaed me, including the person I was responding to.

Imma answer to that dont worry, just gimme time to think and write

Edited May 25, 2025 by Just A Silvereye