Mental health club!

[Usseewa]

11 hours ago, Verdance said:

This is not okay

and i don’t know what to do or say

um logos brain says stinging cuts are bad and you should hand sanitizer them but if you’re bot in physical danger or majorly damaged do not hospital it is sooooo expensive and humiliating 

ethos brain says SH is bad and please dont do it

pathos brain is paralyzed because this is scary 

im here for you… but please, for gods sake, you do understand what you just did, right? This is an incredibly serious thing and please dont do it again. Dont even think about it

*hugs*

 

11 hours ago, Aeoryi said:

I... don't know what to say though

 

10 hours ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

Please please actually tell your therapist things. I’ve been doing therapy-adjacent work with participants in my lab and it’s showing me how much further the recipient can get if they’re honest.

1) How can they help you if you don’t actually tell them the significant problems?

2) They’ve seen it dozens of times before and won’t judge you for it, even if they want you to stop.

3) They also won’t judge you for withholding the info previously, they know fully well how difficult it is to open up fully

While telling the partial truth is a good start, you can’t get the full benefits of therapy without opening up all the way. And they can’t actually help you overcome the SH or give you strategies if they don’t know you’re doing it

This 100%

 

It's still therapy yes, but your therapist can actually specialize their help to adapt to the fact that you're SHing, which can make ain't important impact on how they help you. Technically it's "just therapy" if you just stare at your therapist in dead silence for an hour, but it doesn't mean you'll get anything out of it. 

Most people don't go to therapists because they know the why of everything. Part of the main job of therapists is to help you find that why, which is part of what they're trained to do. You don't have to explain, you can just tell them that you've been SH, and you can work through it together and figure it out. But it starts with opening up

 

Ok, I'll speak with my therapist about this. I don't really know what I want out of doing so, but logically I should. I don't really want to, though. I'd rather keep it to myself and either let it fade into the past or just continue it. But I guess I remember having wanted to get help with my depression, even if I don't right now. So maybe I'll listen to the past me? But maybe she was just more depressed while I am less depressed...? Heh...

Time to play Celeste

But also..

Spoiler

I *like* having self-harm marks and looking at them. The hotline person suggested a red pen to mimic that and I tried that once and it worked great and looked/looks like like my others (except the ones with little scab bits).

I also don't feel like self-harming rn still... it feels kinda sickening to think about... But I also want to want to do it.

Also I still kinda deny to myself that I self-harmed. I don't even know if it counts, anyway.

ugh ..

nvm about celeste i remembered i have stuff to do  

 

edit: oh also... i kinda don't see the point in talking to a therapist about self-harming or to stopping self-harm. I mean besides like... avoiding life-threatening injuries and stuff, idk.

Edited May 8 by Usseewa

[Aeoryi she/her]

I was told that if you have a lot of issues but yet you don't want to do anything about them then there's really not much that can help you aside from like, serious intervention 

[Usseewa]

15 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I was told that if you have a lot of issues but yet you don't want to do anything about them then there's really not much that can help you aside from like, serious intervention 

Well I mean...

No one IRL really knows, so they can't.

I'll very likely tell my therapist next session tho.

 

But it might just make me feel bad like when I talked to the crisis hotline then I felt like I wasn't allowed to SH anymore

(I did anyway, but still I felt like it should've solved everything somehow)

[Aeoryi she/her]

14 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

Well I mean...

No one IRL really knows, so they can't.

I'll very likely tell my therapist next session tho.

 

But it might just make me feel bad like when I talked to the crisis hotline then I felt like I wasn't allowed to SH anymore

(I did anyway, but still I felt like it should've solved everything somehow)

I mean are you willing to try and do something to fix the problem? Or not?

[Usseewa]

40 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I mean are you willing to try and do something to fix the problem? Or not?

Idk at this point.

maybe the new antidepressant is doing it's job

 

i just wanna realax and playe celeste

 

but now I'm feeling so dizzy and somewhat nauseous....

Edited May 8 by Usseewa

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

Idk at this point.

maybe the new antidepressant is doing it's job

 

i just wanna realax and playe celeste

 

but now I'm feeling so dizzy and somewhat nauseous....

Antidepressants sometimes cause you to lose your appetite. Sometimes if you haven't eaten, you can feel dizzy and nauseous. Make sure you eat enough!

[Usseewa]

14 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

Antidepressants sometimes cause you to lose your appetite. Sometimes if you haven't eaten, you can feel dizzy and nauseous. Make sure you eat enough!

i don't really feel like eating

i ate some earlier

 

i still eat each day, 3 meals, just not usually big enough but yeah

 

...

did i not post this? huh..

[Verdance he/him]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

i don't really feel like eating

i ate some earlier

 

i still eat each day, 3 meals, just not usually big enough but yeah

 

...

did i not post this? huh..

Huh

never had eating disorder problems

skinnier than kaladin’s romantic ability but not from a lack of eating

sorry, can’t help much

The depressing short story to end all depressing short stories drops in about 30 seconds though

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

i don't really feel like eating

i ate some earlier

 

i still eat each day, 3 meals, just not usually big enough but yeah

 

...

did i not post this? huh..

you gotta eat

it's a slippery slope

[Usseewa]

I feel like crying right now

I feel overstimulated even though there's no one around

The Shard takes 10-20 seconds to load each page. I have work to do. My stomach is somewhat hungry (I skipped lunch...) and I know it's probably making it harder. I just feel so depressed it's probably obvious to others.

I don't want to talk to anyone but I also do. I think I'm afraid of what will happen I guess. Also my therapist cancelled so the next session is later than it was going to be. I don't want to use a hotline because last time it was over an hour and I don't have much time to spare.

Sooner or later people are gonna notice and ssk if I'm okay or something and bring attention to me that I don't want, and it's hard for me to lie and keep shrugging it off or giving lame answers. Too much to take into account when I'm making up the answers. I started a new med, so I guess that's supposed to make me feel better. I'm already depressed, so it's fine if I say something about being depressed. I can't talk about self-harm, because no one knows. I also won't be able to lie if somehow the topic of lunch comes up. I can say I forgot, which is pretty believable, but still.

Also..

(SH I guess)

Spoiler

I really don't like bringing it up after all of what you guys said, like also with the hotline. But I did self-harm again, and I'm feeling kinda awful, it didn't help at all I don't think.

I think I just want someone to notice, anyone. It's easier that way, I think. I don't have to tell them and they know. I don't even fully know what's going on with me. I can't keep up the act for long though. It's the only thing on my mind most of the day, and it's.. impacting my life I think. I talk less because I'm constantly thinking about self-harm, I can't focus on my schoolwork because I'm thinking about it, and I can't pretend to be happy when my voice is shaky and depressed.

I want to be seen but I'm too scared to talk to someone.

I feel guilty for my future and future me for potentially giving her scars and for becoming who past me thought she'd never be.

I feel bad for letting myself do this to myself, rather than get help or simply not do it.

I feel bad because of what might be my "motive." I feel bad for... idk.

I feel bad for hurting myself when people tell me I shouldn't and when I know it's not really a good thing, and that I'm just sinking further and further down.

I don't want to wait for school to be over and "see if I feel better," but I don't want to get help now. It feels too soon, I guess. Like I never... gave myself the chance to self-harm before it was taken away from me.

I feel bad in general, physically and mentally. I feel weak and shaky and upset and the cuts. I feel confused and lost, hurting from an unknown source, or maybe it's obvious. I feel unable to live like this, barely faking it by avoiding people, laughing sometimes but always knowing... Always feeling like it's fake or fragile. When I try to smile, my face literally trembles and it's hard to hold a smile. I try to sound lighthearted sometimes so people don't worry as much. I don't want to give them something. I don't want to say the wrong thing that I know or fear will raise questions and genuine concern. You know that moment where someone suddenly focuses on you and you have their unwanted attention and they ask if you're okay or something and you try to divert the attention back to them or something else...

I feel so slow. I move slowly too. I move slowly and shakily. I breathe shakily.

I worry my arms will scar, that all of these scratches and lines will become a scar one day that will permanently mar my skin.

I worry I won't be serious enough if/when I talk about self-harm to someone. I worry I'll treat it like some joke or some game and feel horrible. I worry I'll be fake and ingenuine simply because I don't have a sense of self and must imitate others instead.

I keep trying to... tell myself it didn't happen, I didn't cut myself, it was an accident, it's not real, it's not there, it's fine, nothing happened, it wasn't me. It feels fundamentally wrong, what I did.

 

[Adonalsium Will Return He/him]

44 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

I feel like crying right now

I feel overstimulated even though there's no one around

The Shard takes 10-20 seconds to load each page. I have work to do. My stomach is somewhat hungry (I skipped lunch...) and I know it's probably making it harder. I just feel so depressed it's probably obvious to others.

I don't want to talk to anyone but I also do. I think I'm afraid of what will happen I guess. Also my therapist cancelled so the next session is later than it was going to be. I don't want to use a hotline because last time it was over an hour and I don't have much time to spare.

Sooner or later people are gonna notice and ssk if I'm okay or something and bring attention to me that I don't want, and it's hard for me to lie and keep shrugging it off or giving lame answers. Too much to take into account when I'm making up the answers. I started a new med, so I guess that's supposed to make me feel better. I'm already depressed, so it's fine if I say something about being depressed. I can't talk about self-harm, because no one knows. I also won't be able to lie if somehow the topic of lunch comes up. I can say I forgot, which is pretty believable, but still.

Also..

(SH I guess)

  Reveal hidden contents

I really don't like bringing it up after all of what you guys said, like also with the hotline. But I did self-harm again, and I'm feeling kinda awful, it didn't help at all I don't think.

I think I just want someone to notice, anyone. It's easier that way, I think. I don't have to tell them and they know. I don't even fully know what's going on with me. I can't keep up the act for long though. It's the only thing on my mind most of the day, and it's.. impacting my life I think. I talk less because I'm constantly thinking about self-harm, I can't focus on my schoolwork because I'm thinking about it, and I can't pretend to be happy when my voice is shaky and depressed.

I want to be seen but I'm too scared to talk to someone.

I feel guilty for my future and future me for potentially giving her scars and for becoming who past me thought she'd never be.

I feel bad for letting myself do this to myself, rather than get help or simply not do it.

I feel bad because of what might be my "motive." I feel bad for... idk.

I feel bad for hurting myself when people tell me I shouldn't and when I know it's not really a good thing, and that I'm just sinking further and further down.

I don't want to wait for school to be over and "see if I feel better," but I don't want to get help now. It feels too soon, I guess. Like I never... gave myself the chance to self-harm before it was taken away from me.

I feel bad in general, physically and mentally. I feel weak and shaky and upset and the cuts. I feel confused and lost, hurting from an unknown source, or maybe it's obvious. I feel unable to live like this, barely faking it by avoiding people, laughing sometimes but always knowing... Always feeling like it's fake or fragile. When I try to smile, my face literally trembles and it's hard to hold a smile. I try to sound lighthearted sometimes so people don't worry as much. I don't want to give them something. I don't want to say the wrong thing that I know or fear will raise questions and genuine concern. You know that moment where someone suddenly focuses on you and you have their unwanted attention and they ask if you're okay or something and you try to divert the attention back to them or something else...

I feel so slow. I move slowly too. I move slowly and shakily. I breathe shakily.

I worry my arms will scar, that all of these scratches and lines will become a scar one day that will permanently mar my skin.

I worry I won't be serious enough if/when I talk about self-harm to someone. I worry I'll treat it like some joke or some game and feel horrible. I worry I'll be fake and ingenuine simply because I don't have a sense of self and must imitate others instead.

I keep trying to... tell myself it didn't happen, I didn't cut myself, it was an accident, it's not real, it's not there, it's fine, nothing happened, it wasn't me. It feels fundamentally wrong, what I did.

 

I honestly can't figure out what to say, so I'll quote a book. 

"This is life, and I will not lie by saying every day will be sunshine. But there will be sunshine again, and that is a very different thing to say. That is truth. I promise you, Kaladin: You will be warm again." — Wit 

I don't know what to say, but I feel like saying nothing would be worse than saying something bad, so... you can do this. You can get through this.

[Usseewa]

20 minutes ago, Adonalsium Will Return said:

I honestly can't figure out what to say, so I'll quote a book. 

"This is life, and I will not lie by saying every day will be sunshine. But there will be sunshine again, and that is a very different thing to say. That is truth. I promise you, Kaladin: You will be warm again." — Wit 

I don't know what to say, but I feel like saying nothing would be worse than saying something bad, so... you can do this. You can get through this.

thanks.. I know it can be hard to give advice sometimes.

 

CW/TW SH, suicide

Spoiler

Sometimes I just.. let go or lose control or give in and cut and cut and cut over and over.

Usually only a few of them bleed, and then only a little.

But yeah..

And I used to only do it when I was just scratching and never bleeding, but now I started doing it with my knife too.

 

I also just feel so... not emotionless, but I feel like the inside me wants to just cry or have someone see her or something but I hold it all inside and on the surface I'm not like I am inside which is.. afraid, I think.

 

I also might be increasingly suicidal but idk for sure. In the past few days I've realized I've been thinking about... ways I would kill myself, maybe "if I was suicidal" or something. So if that's suicidal then it's been going on longer than I thought, maybe. Idk. But I've thought of how I might end my life, and a few days ago I was in a panic/overwhelm/feeling bad and I was also in a second-floor classroom, alone. I thought of how I could.. fall/jump out the window. The strange this is that I want(ed) to survive it. I hope that's not wrong of me, idk. I kinda feel some shame regarding these thoughts. But yeah.

And now I just feel overwhelming... I can't even place it,... probably despair is the best word for it. Yeah, that sounds right. So at least I know something's wrong... But also I was thinking a few minutes ago about how I wanted a solution to the mess I've caused of my life. Of course I immediately thought that could potentially be suicidal, so idk, I can't really say whether or not it was in the moment, since I thought of it.

But I also kinda feel like I messed up. With cutting myself, with staying depressed so long. I feel like... I can't really go back and undo it, can't fix it, it happened. Past the point of no return, the event horizon, etc. I was thinking earlier or maybe yesterday, idk, about how I can't travel back in time to undo it, or what I would even tell myself if I were to go back rather than rewind. Immediately I thought saying "it's not worth it," because I think someone here told me that, but then I thought "but is that actually truly how I feel?"

As I said before, it doesn't fully feel real, like I actually did it. I'm just struggling to... believe, I guess, that I would do this.

And I keep feeling the cuts, inconveniently reminding me. I just want them to go away, maybe? I'm sick of it, but I somehow want to do it. It's like that quote from one of the stormlight books, "the assassin who weeps as he kills." So, "the girl who weeps as she hurts herself." Except I don't cry, I cant. I think I realize what people mean when they say they can't cry. Up until.. idk a week or two ago, I cried a lot, and could trigger it semi-intentionally. Now I *try* to cry, but can't. I feel scared and upset and stuff when I'm putting the blade to my skin, when I'm doing it, but somehow I still do it? I guess it kinda feels... "I might as well," though I couldn't really explain why that thought comes to mind.

And if I'm being honest, there's some element of it that feels like I have to. In order to get help, to be important/serious enough for help, to show that I am hurting, even when I question that or don't know why.

I feel like I've turned into someone else, but also at least I'm someone, kinda. Instead of something trying to figure out what it is.

 

[Aeoryi she/her]

3 hours ago, Usseewa said:

thanks.. I know it can be hard to give advice sometimes.

 

CW/TW SH, suicide

  Reveal hidden contents

Sometimes I just.. let go or lose control or give in and cut and cut and cut over and over.

Usually only a few of them bleed, and then only a little.

But yeah..

And I used to only do it when I was just scratching and never bleeding, but now I started doing it with my knife too.

 

I also just feel so... not emotionless, but I feel like the inside me wants to just cry or have someone see her or something but I hold it all inside and on the surface I'm not like I am inside which is.. afraid, I think.

 

I also might be increasingly suicidal but idk for sure. In the past few days I've realized I've been thinking about... ways I would kill myself, maybe "if I was suicidal" or something. So if that's suicidal then it's been going on longer than I thought, maybe. Idk. But I've thought of how I might end my life, and a few days ago I was in a panic/overwhelm/feeling bad and I was also in a second-floor classroom, alone. I thought of how I could.. fall/jump out the window. The strange this is that I want(ed) to survive it. I hope that's not wrong of me, idk. I kinda feel some shame regarding these thoughts. But yeah.

And now I just feel overwhelming... I can't even place it,... probably despair is the best word for it. Yeah, that sounds right. So at least I know something's wrong... But also I was thinking a few minutes ago about how I wanted a solution to the mess I've caused of my life. Of course I immediately thought that could potentially be suicidal, so idk, I can't really say whether or not it was in the moment, since I thought of it.

But I also kinda feel like I messed up. With cutting myself, with staying depressed so long. I feel like... I can't really go back and undo it, can't fix it, it happened. Past the point of no return, the event horizon, etc. I was thinking earlier or maybe yesterday, idk, about how I can't travel back in time to undo it, or what I would even tell myself if I were to go back rather than rewind. Immediately I thought saying "it's not worth it," because I think someone here told me that, but then I thought "but is that actually truly how I feel?"

As I said before, it doesn't fully feel real, like I actually did it. I'm just struggling to... believe, I guess, that I would do this.

And I keep feeling the cuts, inconveniently reminding me. I just want them to go away, maybe? I'm sick of it, but I somehow want to do it. It's like that quote from one of the stormlight books, "the assassin who weeps as he kills." So, "the girl who weeps as she hurts herself." Except I don't cry, I cant. I think I realize what people mean when they say they can't cry. Up until.. idk a week or two ago, I cried a lot, and could trigger it semi-intentionally. Now I *try* to cry, but can't. I feel scared and upset and stuff when I'm putting the blade to my skin, when I'm doing it, but somehow I still do it? I guess it kinda feels... "I might as well," though I couldn't really explain why that thought comes to mind.

And if I'm being honest, there's some element of it that feels like I have to. In order to get help, to be important/serious enough for help, to show that I am hurting, even when I question that or don't know why.

I feel like I've turned into someone else, but also at least I'm someone, kinda. Instead of something trying to figure out what it is.

 

 

sh

Spoiler

it gets addictive fast apparently... 

 

[Usseewa]

8 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

 

sh

  Reveal hidden contents

it gets addictive fast apparently... 

 

yeah ... that could be something I'm feeling

Spoiler

I still feel the cuts..

 

[Aeoryi she/her]

don't know what to say

I wish I did

but being realistic this kind of thing is causing problems for me too so maybe I need to step back

[Usseewa]

1 hour ago, Aeoryi said:

don't know what to say

I wish I did

but being realistic this kind of thing is causing problems for me too so maybe I need to step back

yeah, that's a good idea..

I'm talking to a crisis hotline again

 

edit:

update, I'm feeling much better, for now. I think it helped to talk about stuff. I'll try to.. stay strong until I can meet with my therapist. But yeah.

Edited May 9 by Usseewa

[Verdance he/him]

6 hours ago, Usseewa said:

I feel like crying right now

I feel overstimulated even though there's no one around

The Shard takes 10-20 seconds to load each page. I have work to do. My stomach is somewhat hungry (I skipped lunch...) and I know it's probably making it harder. I just feel so depressed it's probably obvious to others.

I don't want to talk to anyone but I also do. I think I'm afraid of what will happen I guess. Also my therapist cancelled so the next session is later than it was going to be. I don't want to use a hotline because last time it was over an hour and I don't have much time to spare.

Sooner or later people are gonna notice and ssk if I'm okay or something and bring attention to me that I don't want, and it's hard for me to lie and keep shrugging it off or giving lame answers. Too much to take into account when I'm making up the answers. I started a new med, so I guess that's supposed to make me feel better. I'm already depressed, so it's fine if I say something about being depressed. I can't talk about self-harm, because no one knows. I also won't be able to lie if somehow the topic of lunch comes up. I can say I forgot, which is pretty believable, but still.

Also..

(SH I guess)

  Hide contents

I really don't like bringing it up after all of what you guys said, like also with the hotline. But I did self-harm again, and I'm feeling kinda awful, it didn't help at all I don't think.

I think I just want someone to notice, anyone. It's easier that way, I think. I don't have to tell them and they know. I don't even fully know what's going on with me. I can't keep up the act for long though. It's the only thing on my mind most of the day, and it's.. impacting my life I think. I talk less because I'm constantly thinking about self-harm, I can't focus on my schoolwork because I'm thinking about it, and I can't pretend to be happy when my voice is shaky and depressed.

I want to be seen but I'm too scared to talk to someone.

I feel guilty for my future and future me for potentially giving her scars and for becoming who past me thought she'd never be.

I feel bad for letting myself do this to myself, rather than get help or simply not do it.

I feel bad because of what might be my "motive." I feel bad for... idk.

I feel bad for hurting myself when people tell me I shouldn't and when I know it's not really a good thing, and that I'm just sinking further and further down.

I don't want to wait for school to be over and "see if I feel better," but I don't want to get help now. It feels too soon, I guess. Like I never... gave myself the chance to self-harm before it was taken away from me.

I feel bad in general, physically and mentally. I feel weak and shaky and upset and the cuts. I feel confused and lost, hurting from an unknown source, or maybe it's obvious. I feel unable to live like this, barely faking it by avoiding people, laughing sometimes but always knowing... Always feeling like it's fake or fragile. When I try to smile, my face literally trembles and it's hard to hold a smile. I try to sound lighthearted sometimes so people don't worry as much. I don't want to give them something. I don't want to say the wrong thing that I know or fear will raise questions and genuine concern. You know that moment where someone suddenly focuses on you and you have their unwanted attention and they ask if you're okay or something and you try to divert the attention back to them or something else...

I feel so slow. I move slowly too. I move slowly and shakily. I breathe shakily.

I worry my arms will scar, that all of these scratches and lines will become a scar one day that will permanently mar my skin.

I worry I won't be serious enough if/when I talk about self-harm to someone. I worry I'll treat it like some joke or some game and feel horrible. I worry I'll be fake and ingenuine simply because I don't have a sense of self and must imitate others instead.

I keep trying to... tell myself it didn't happen, I didn't cut myself, it was an accident, it's not real, it's not there, it's fine, nothing happened, it wasn't me. It feels fundamentally wrong, what I did.

 

*hugs*

sometimes... we hurt ourselves. life, the human experience of being alive, is all about what we decide to sacrifice and what our sacrifices give us. I learned that self harm sacrifices so much for absolutely nothing. Now i have a scar on my arm that's actually larger than the cut I gave myself, and it's a reminder that SH has never done anything for me but take. 

If I have been asking you to try and be happier when you're really this sad inside, and it makes you feel guilty for being ingenuine, i apologize. if you are depressed, it's okay to act sad around other people. by all means, try to conquer your depression, don't just lay down and die, but don't hurt yourself even more because you have to pretend to be happy.

I'm glad you're seeing a therapist, and I know it's difficult that they won't be able to meet with you when you need them to. It's not your fault. 

You are loved. You are redeemable. Your life isn't nearly over, and the things you have done, to yourself, to others, can be forgiven. They can be forgotten. I promise you, you're going to make it through this. 

[Usseewa]

SH

Spoiler

I'm kinda worried but maybe it's normal...

My arms/cuts are kind of aching and my arms don't feel good, mainly one arm where I think the cut was a bit worse.

The cuts are still shallow and not long/big, but idk. It's been a day since I.. acquired them.

It kinda feels like how I imagine arthritis might (though this could be totally off since I've never had arthritis and don't know a lot about it). It feels... like my muscles are out of place? Idk.

Maybe it's normal and will just go away soon but yeah it makes it kinda hard to do stuff, even though it doesn't hurt *that* much, it's just.. an ever-present discomfort.

 

[Verdance he/him]

17 hours ago, Usseewa said:

SH

  Hide contents

I'm kinda worried but maybe it's normal...

My arms/cuts are kind of aching and my arms don't feel good, mainly one arm where I think the cut was a bit worse.

The cuts are still shallow and not long/big, but idk. It's been a day since I.. acquired them.

It kinda feels like how I imagine arthritis might (though this could be totally off since I've never had arthritis and don't know a lot about it). It feels... like my muscles are out of place? Idk.

Maybe it's normal and will just go away soon but yeah it makes it kinda hard to do stuff, even though it doesn't hurt *that* much, it's just.. an ever-present discomfort.

 

*deep breath*
i can’t give a lot of advice about this. I remember my scars hurting while in the hospital overnight but not at all afterwards. 
im going to be honest, while i dont like what i did to myself, while i do regret it, its in the past and i wont tolerate conversation about doing anything differently if i could redo my actions, because i cant. I have scars, they aren’t dramatic but they exist. And they are a part of me. I know it sounds cheesy but they are part of my identity, i want them to linger forever, and i value them. 
idk what to say in your case. Scars are a reminder. Net neutral, if you let them. Make them remind you not to do it again, let that reminder balance out the SH. 

[Shatter He/Him]

17 hours ago, Usseewa said:

SH

  Hide contents

I'm kinda worried but maybe it's normal...

My arms/cuts are kind of aching and my arms don't feel good, mainly one arm where I think the cut was a bit worse.

The cuts are still shallow and not long/big, but idk. It's been a day since I.. acquired them.

It kinda feels like how I imagine arthritis might (though this could be totally off since I've never had arthritis and don't know a lot about it). It feels... like my muscles are out of place? Idk.

Maybe it's normal and will just go away soon but yeah it makes it kinda hard to do stuff, even though it doesn't hurt *that* much, it's just.. an ever-present discomfort.

How warm is the skin around the cuts? I'm a tad worried on the medical side.

[Usseewa]

6 minutes ago, Shatter said:

How warm is the skin around the cuts? I'm a tad worried on the medical side.

It's... normal?

Two of them are under bandaids so I can't check how they look unless I take them off.

But they don't feel overly warm.

 

If they are infected, is it serious? Can I just... treat it myself? I'll get medical attention if I need to, though..

Edited May 10 by Usseewa

[Shatter He/Him]

13 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

It's... normal?

Two of them are under bandaids so I can't check how they look unless I take them off.

But they don't feel overly warm.

 

If they are infected, is it serious? Can I just... treat it myself? I'll get medical attention if I need to, though..

You should be fine then. The sensation of feeling 'off' and sore is probably from irritation and the skin starting to heal. Just keep the area clean and change the bandages if they get wet or dirty.

*hugs*

Edited May 10 by Shatter

[Usseewa]

4 minutes ago, Shatter said:

You should be fine then. The sensation of feeling 'off' and sore is probably from irritation and the skin starting to heal. Just keep the area clean and change the bandages if they get wet or dirty.

*hugs*

The cuts aren't that deep or long... do I need to keep using bandages for a while? I don't really have enough.

Thanks

 

It's kinda hard to type or use computer for a long time, because it gets uncomfortable. And of course I cut myself on both arms so my dominant one too...

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, Usseewa said:

The cuts aren't that deep or long... do I need to keep using bandages for a while? I don't really have enough.

Thanks

 

It's kinda hard to type or use computer for a long time, because it gets uncomfortable. And of course I cut myself on both arms so my dominant one too...

*sigh*
its actually messing with me how much every depressed person ik has it worse than me

almost invalidating? Like, i feel like im reliving how i played up my feelings for my crush, but this time im playing up my depression 

[Usseewa]

Just now, Verdance said:

*sigh*
its actually messing with me how much every depressed person ik has it worse than me

almost invalidating? Like, i feel like im reliving how i played up my feelings for my crush, but this time im playing up my depression 

If it helps, I feel the same.

At least I did for a while.

 

And, it doesn't matter if someone has it worse than you, it's not a competition, or shouldn't be.

 

I know how you feel though.