Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Longshot97 he/him]

Granted. You are now functionally incapable of secrecy or sneakiness.

I wish for a functional NOKIA.

[Pineap-spider Pineapple/Spider]

Granted. Here’s something Nokia brand

I wish everything I eat would taste perfect 

[Longshot97 he/him]

Granted. You are now dead. It's too early in the morning to be creative.

I wish for a genie in a bottle.

[Doomslug the Arcane she/her]

Granted, you can't make any wishes though, rubbing the golden lamp is part of the magic, and you can't rub a plastic bottle

I wish for perfect pitch

Edited August 13, 2024 by Doomslug Doomslug Doomslug

[strmblsd he/him]

Granted when playing baseball you always throw a perfect pitch (for the other team).

I wish for shoes

[Unintelligenius he/him]

Granted. Your legs have been chopped off.

I wish to be able to dampen pain when I feel it.

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Granted. Not sure why you want to be wet every time you get hurt, but sure. Oh and you consistently stub your toe every thirty minutes.

I wish for a pair of eyes (that aren't mine).

[Pineap-spider Pineapple/Spider]

Granted. They’re of the googly variety. Also, you now need a really strong prescription 

I wish I could play a musical instrument 

[Longshot97 he/him]

Granted. Ever hear of the nose kazoo?

Oh, and you can no longer sing.

I wish for a penny.

[Doomslug the Arcane she/her]

Granted, you get a scrap of paper worth a penny

I wish to learn the nose kazoo

[Vyzkel He/Him]

Granted, you’re now allergic to kazoos.

I wish for super jumping.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

Granted. Every time you jump into the air you go 500 feet high. Have fun landing and not splatting everywhere.

I wish for an elephant.

[Pineap-spider Pineapple/Spider]

Granted. Buffalo go extinct and everyone knows it’s your fault

i wish I hadn’t just washed ALL of my clothes with a pen in one of my pockets 

[Vyzkel He/Him]

Granted, it’s now ten pens.

I wish to never lose pens.

Edited August 14, 2024 by Vyzkel

[Unintelligenius he/him]

Granted. They are forever out of ink.

I wish to be able to think something and it get's written down on a paper.

[Pineap-spider Pineapple/Spider]

Granted. Whenever you want to find that paper, and take you solid 30 minutes- 2 hours of diligent searching.

I wish that n/0=16

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Granted. The universe implodes, but not before Pattern screams at you relentlessly for an hour about dividing by zero.

I wish to not have braces anymore.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

Granted, your teeth will never be straight.

I wish to be very flexible.

[strmblsd he/him]

Granted but you break bones in the process 

I wish to be able to read peoples minds

[Pineap-spider Pineapple/Spider]

Granted. Firstly, you can only read the minds of men. and secondly, women can read your mind 

I wish I could skip lines and people wouldn’t get mad at me 

[strmblsd he/him]

Just now, Pineap-spider said:

Granted. Firstly, you can only read the minds of men. and secondly, women can read your mind 

I wish I could skip lines and people wouldn’t get mad at me 

Ya know I ain't mad about that.. if girls could read my mind the girl I like would maybe see why I like her and maybe stuff would work... Skip me

[Vyzkel He/Him]

24 minutes ago, Pineap-spider said:

 

I wish I could skip lines and people wouldn’t get mad at me 

Granted, but it only works for the dentist.

I wish people would stop hating country music.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

2 hours ago, Vyzkel said:

I wish people would stop hating country music.

fr

Granted. Now all people hate all types of music, not just country.

I wish to end world hunger.

[Vyzkel He/Him]

Granted, anyone hungry disappears.

I wish that everyone can have easy access to food.

[BlueWildRye he/him]

Granted, cannibalism is now legal and highly recommended.

I wish I could say things in other people's heads (admit it you would too)