Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

2 hours ago, Ookla the unintelligible said:

Granted. Everyone ignores the standardization.

wish.com shopping?

[NameIess]

16 hours ago, Ookla the Confused said:

wish.com shopping?

Hello? I'd like to order a wish for *garbled static* and *high pitched whining*

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

2 hours ago, Ookla the unintelligible said:

Hello? I'd like to order a wish for *garbled static* and *high pitched whining*

The Nightwatcher brought you a puppy and some human teeth! Lucky you. It is also cursed and you will die in a year.

I wish for some sweet [hyperlink blocked].

[NameIess]

2 hours ago, Ookla the Confused said:

The Nightwatcher brought you a puppy and some human teeth! Lucky you. It is also cursed and you will die in a year.

A- a year? I have to wait an entire year for it to die? Can't it die sooner? A living set of human teeth will scare me the puppy.

2 hours ago, Ookla the Confused said:

I wish for some sweet [hyperlink blocked].

Granted. The nightwatcher gives you some sweet teeth. Don't ask if they're alive.

I wish for a shardcontroller that works with every game system and works perfectly.

[#1 Taln Fan he/him]

Granted. All of your games are now upside down 

I wish for the ability to win every board game I play.

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

Granted. Nobody wants to play with you anymore.

You will die in five years.

I wish for superhuman speed.

[Robin Sedai she/her]

Granted. You do not have the ability to control it. You run into a wall at high speed and die.

I wish for a better internet connection.

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

Granted!

Your couch grows legs and walks away.

I wish for infinite wishes.

[Robin Sedai she/her]

I don't have a couch...

Granted, but the bane from the first wish kills you.

I wish to be a Mistborn.

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

Granted. You are now allergic to all metal.

I wish for stocks in wish.com.

[AonDoor he/him]

Granted. You get two stocks in wish.com. Your left foot's toes have all fused together. 

I wish to see Cultivation and not die.

Edit: I say "not die" just so that's not my bane, but I guess that's not really my decision.

Edited November 30, 2021 by Ookla the Johnny Boy

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

Granted!

Your couch grows to an enormous size

I wish for infinite wishes with no bane.

[AonDoor he/him]

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("Ix-nay on the wishing for more wishes.")

I wish for a fast laptop computer.

 

Edited December 2, 2021 by Ookla the Johnny Boy

[Kelsier'sGodComplex she/her]

Granted, but it has the worst battery life ever

I wish for a cool gun

[Robin Sedai she/her]

Granted, but fashions move on, and your gun is now impossibly tacky.

I wish for immortality until I don't want it anymore.

[AonDoor he/him]

Granted. You're immortal, but you become a Hoed.

I wish for a number.

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

3.

That’s the number of months you have left to live.

I wish for a letter (either kind).

[#1 Taln Fan he/him]

The letter comes telling you that you’re bankrupt. Oof.

I wish for an infinite supply of bread pudding.

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

Granted. It envelops the entire cosmere.

The Nightwatcher isn’t sure why you wanted that, and doesn’t give you a bane, because she’s feeling nice.

I wish to not need sleep, ever.

[Robin Sedai she/her]

Granted. This comes in the form of a little hammer hitting you on the head whenever you feel sleepy.

I wish that I didn't have allergies.

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

Granted! Instead, you have lots and lots of anxiety.

I wish that I didn't have lots and lots of anxiety.

[AonDoor he/him]

Granted. The nightwatcher realizes that the bane isn't supposed to be connected to the boon, so she deletes your 17th Shard account.

I wish people knew how to speak English correctly.

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

They gain that ability, but you lose it.

I wish for my assignments that are due not to be due.

[Quivil]

Boon granted. Instead, they're overdue. Good luck!  (I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.)

The Nightwatcher decides that she's tortured you enough with the twisting of your wish, so gives you a gentle bane: you now don't like the taste or texture of bananas.

 

I wish for an invisible pocket that is always right next to me and has unlimited space with which to hold items.

[Szeth Pancakes he/they]

3 hours ago, Ookla of Anarchy and Chaos said:

Boon granted. Instead, they're overdue. Good luck!  (I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.)

The Nightwatcher decides that she's tortured you enough with the twisting of your wish, so gives you a gentle bane: you now don't like the taste or texture of bananas.

 

I wish for an invisible pocket that is always right next to me and has unlimited space with which to hold items.

How is that gentle???? Bananas are Harmony’s gift to humankind.