Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[The Allomantic Metalhead]

14 minutes ago, Zath said:

Again, I wish for an infinite garage.

 

Granted. You immediately get lost in it.

 

I wish someone would write a really good fanfic about a world that was like earth until people started developing allomantic and feruchemical abilities in the 1930s and became superheroes.

[Ishar]

43 minutes ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

 

Granted. You immediately get lost in it.

 

I wish someone would write a really good fanfic about a world that was like earth until people started developing allomantic and feruchemical abilities in the 1930s and became superheroes.

Granted, but because that person isn’t Brandon Sanderson that person gets sued for copy right infringement.

I wish humans started developing feruchemy and allomancy, but that nobody learns hemalurgy, except of course, my pet hemalurgic beaver.

Edited May 5, 2018 by Ishar

[Ashspren]

1 hour ago, Ishar said:

Granted, but because that person isn’t Brandon Sanderson that person gets sued for copy right infringement.

I wish humans started developing feruchemy and allomancy, but that nobody learns hemalurgy, except of course, my pet hemalurgic beaver.

Granted, but all of the people that gain feruchemical and allomantic powers have evil intentions. You and everyone of some importance to you die as a result of that. Your hemalurgic beaver becomes my hermalurgic beaver.

I wish for a stick that will never become fire. When people try to burn it, it doesn't work, and they are left confused while I cackle evilly.

[Ishar]

18 minutes ago, Ashspren said:

Granted, but all of the people that gain feruchemical and allomantic powers have evil intentions. You and everyone of some importance to you die as a result of that. Your hemalurgic beaver becomes my hermalurgic beaver.

I wish for a stick that will never become fire. When people try to burn it, it doesn't work, and they are left confused while I cackle evilly.

Woah woah woah... the hemalurgic beaver has some importance to me and would be dead...

 

Granted, but that stick becomes your only possession.

 

I wish for a Nahel bond with a beaver instead of a spren.

[The Thinking Herald]

Granted, but you can only bond this beaver and nothing else. Further, when it gains sentience and sapience, it only speaks to insult you.

I wish for charisma.

[Apollyon]

Granted, but your d20 rolls sucked so somehow you got a one in Charisma.

I wish for a nat 20 everytime I roll a d20.

[The Thinking Herald]

Granted, but all the d20s in the world disappear suddenly, and you can't roll nat 20s on d20s.

I wish for real and high amounts of charisma to be used in daily interaction.

[Mistspren]

Granted, but everyone else’s charismatic abilities disappear and they all feel too insecure to ever talk to you.

I wish Kelsier could meet Brandon Sanderson and slap him for killing him and all his friends. Only because it would be hilarious, and since Kelsier would be in our world, I’d be able to meet him.

Edited May 6, 2018 by Mistspren

[The Thinking Herald]

Granted, but Kelsier misjudges his strength and kills Brandon.

I wish that I was a normally functioning human.

[Jehoiada]

 

 

 

30 minutes ago, The Thinking Herald said:

I wish that I was a normally functioning human.

There's some things not even the nightwatcher can grant. Sorry

I wish for a never ending cheeto

[Rebecca]

Granted, but you can’t eat it. 

I wish for hair like Rapunzel’s.

[Apollyon]

Granted, it’s a 100 foot long gnarled and mangled abomination of hair.

I wish for flowing, luscious locks of beauty.

[Mistspren]

Granted, but you don’t have a key to open them. 

I wish mosquitos didn’t exist,

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine]

1 hour ago, Mistspren said:

I wish mosquitos didn’t exist,

After the words of your wish leave your mouth, the Nightwatcher lifts up her emerald eyes to the sky, and one shimmering luminescent tear falls from her eye as she says "Thank you".

Then her vaporous form swirls and dissipates like early morning mist.

From behind a tree Cultivation jumps out and says "You're did it Mistspren! You won!"

You blink your eyes in shock as Cultivation steps forward and grabs you by the hand and says "It's yours, it's all yours!"

You scratch your head and say "What's all mine?"

"My powers - the power of life itself. I've been looking for a worthy vessel to take my place, so I created the Nightwatcher in an effort to find a single soul, thoughtful and with a noble heart that would look with clear eyes towards the good of all life, and that vessel is you Mistspren".

"At first I worried that it was too obvious a test, I mean I created mosquitoes for this very purpose, but I thought for sure someone would figure this out millenia ago. But you, dear Mistspren are the first to wish this most noble and prudent of wishes. So my power is yours, I will retire to Shinovar and cultivate bonsai trees."

Your only bane is that now your responsible for defeating Odium, but Odium can no longer call upon his mosquitoes spies, so you'll have an easier go of it.

I wish that it rained candy, and that the candy falls softly enough that no people or animals are injured by the candy rain.

[The Allomantic Metalhead]

1 hour ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

I wish that it rained candy, and that the candy falls softly enough that no people or animals are injured by the candy rain.

Granted, but the only candies that come from the rain are those disgusting sugarfree gummy bears.

 

I wish that I was extremely hard to kill, regarded physical pain with mild apathy, and could heal from almost any wound (albeit with the healing rate of a normal human) without even a scar.

[Zath]

1 hour ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

I wish that I was extremely hard to kill, regarded physical pain with mild apathy, and could heal from almost any wound (albeit with the healing rate of a normal human) without even a scar.

The Nightwatcher immediately stabs you through the gut with a sharp stick.  You stare at the length of wood protruding from your abdomen, then casually pull it out and toss it to the side.  

"Your boon is granted," the Nightwatcher says, and she's right.  You feel the pain of the injury, but it's distant and removed from your immediate consciousness.  Plus, you're still alive after being impaled by a stick.

Weeks later, the wound finally heals, leaving nothing but a small, round scar.  You go about your daily business, when suddenly some stranger walks up to you and stabs you with a sharp stick in the exact same spot.  You stare at the stranger in mild shock, and he apologizes profusely, "I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me!  Um... are you... okay?"  You nod and withdraw the stick, tossing it to the side.  You're overcome by a strange sense of deja vu.  That stick looks familiar...

Over the years, that same stick will be embedded in your flesh over and over again, in the same spot, through freak accidents and random assaults by strangers.  You can do nothing to prevent this, and your supernatural immunity to pain and injury really weirds people out.  You eventually find yourself shunned and alone, and you can't seem to get yourself to care -- the same apathy you have towards pain also applies to developing relationships with others.  You live in a shack in the wilderness for the rest of your days, chopping firewood and removing sharp sticks from your flesh.

 

Oof, that got kinda dark.   Sorry about that.

 

I wish for sunshine and puppies.

[Kidpen]

Granted. These puppies are killed by Odium because he hates them.

I wish Odium loved puppies.

[Zath]

1 hour ago, Kidpen said:

Granted. These puppies are killed by Odium because he hates them.

At least I still got sunshine!  (Also, RIP, little puppies...)

1 hour ago, Kidpen said:

I wish Odium loved puppies.

Granted.  Odium now LOVES puppies.  He destroys every living thing except for puppies.  He feeds the puppies with the remains of humanity.  Now with a taste for human flesh, the puppies world-hop across the Cosmere, feasting upon unsuspecting civilizations that are like, "Awww, puppies!  Hey wait, stop eating me - AAAAA!!!" and paving the way for Odium's conquest of everything.  Way to go, Kidpen.  You've doomed us all.

 

I wish for a nice croissant.

[Rebecca]

Zath, you are amazing at this. Your little stories make me smile, every time.

Granted, you now have a nice croissant. It is huge and you live in it. So, I guess your bane is that you can’t eat it, or you’d be homeless.

I wish for a purple Jeep Chevy.

[Barbarian AL]

43 minutes ago, Rebecca said:

Zath, you are amazing at this. Your little stories make me smile, every time.

Granted, you now have a nice croissant. It is huge and you live in it. So, I guess your bane is that you can’t eat it, or you’d be homeless.

I wish for a purple Jeep Chevy.

Granted! Your band new Jeep emits a carbon footprint so great you're now a moving, grooving hazard for the environment.

I wish for a bicycle that leaves stargazer lilies in its wake.

 

[Gray to]

41 minutes ago, Barbarian AL said:

Granted! Your band new Jeep emits a carbon footprint so great you're now a moving, grooving hazard for the environment.

I wish for a bicycle that leaves stargazer lilies in its wake.

 

Yes but those lilies will never stop growing until they cover the entire earth and smother anyone and anything that gets in its way.

I wish for the ability to not procrastinate.

[AonEne]

Granted. However, everyone within a five foot radius around you now procrastinates.

I wish I actually could hold that gathering.

[Zath]

1 hour ago, AonEne said:

I wish I actually could hold that gathering.

"...What gathering?" the Nightwatcher asks.

"You know," AonEne replies, "the one where all the 17th Sharders get together and we have a blast geeking out about Brandon Sanderson's books?  That gathering."

"Ah.  Very well, foolish mortal, you shall have your gathering."

The way the Nightwatcher phrased that last bit sounds somewhat ominous to you, but you don't have time to do anything about it before a bright flash of light blinds you and you find yourself standing on a huge balcony (it looks like it's been Soulcast) with a bunch of other people.  You start talking and it is discovered that everybody there is a member of the 17th Shard! Introductions done, everyone starts discussing the latest Cosmere theory and poking fun at each other and all-in-all just having a grand old time.  Then the horizon darkens...

You dash to edge of the balcony and see immense, dark clouds approaching swiftly.  Flashes of lightning streak across the face of the oncoming storm.  Everyone rushes to the doors, but apparently some scum-sucking lowlife has Lashed them closed and no one can get through to safety.  Everyone watches helplessly as the highstorm closes in, the howling winds chilling your blood.  The storm grows closer and closer until it seems to swallow the world, and then-

There's a bright flash of light and you find yourself in the safety of your own home again.  You can hear the Nightwatcher's voice in your head:
"Pfffft, hahahahaha! Oh, you all should have seen your faces! Classic! Ahahaha... Oh, I am so hilarious! Hee hee hee..."

 

The Nightwatcher has a cruel sense of humor, sometimes.

I wish for some chouta.

 

Edited May 7, 2018 by Zath
Grammar

[AonEne]

2 hours ago, Rebecca said:

Zath, you are amazing at this. Your little stories make me smile, every time.

I was not the one who said this, but I would still like to reiterate it.

Granted. However, it tastes awful.

I wish all the Shards liked puppies. Because puppies are great.

[Zath]

2 hours ago, Rebecca said:

Zath, you are amazing at this. Your little stories make me smile, every time.

Aww, shucks.   Thanks, @Rebecca and @AonEne!

26 minutes ago, AonEne said:

I wish all the Shards liked puppies. Because puppies are great.

Granted.  All the Shards like puppies.  They like them so much that each of them actually gives their power to a puppy and retires (if Shards can retire...). 
Puppy-Ruin chews on ALL the furniture -- past, present, and future -- and all carpenters and upholsterers lose their jobs. 
Puppy-Preservation digs up all the bones everywhere and re-buries them in the great Beyond-backyard.  Cemeteries are no longer a thing. 
Puppy-Endowment licks everyone's face.  Dog slobber is the new cologne/perfume Cosmere-wide. (Vin is okay with this)
Puppy-Autonomy (or Puppies-Autonomy, perhaps) is always chasing stuff and running away to make their own way in the world.  They also encourage all other puppies to do the same.  It becomes harder than ever to keep dogs on their leashes.
Puppy-Odium goes around and... um... "marks his territory" on everyone's favorite sneakers.  Joggers and marathoners everywhere are very upset.
Puppy-Cultivation is constantly eating grass 'cause she loves plants so much.  No one has to mow their lawns again, ever.
Puppy-Honor is the best at "Sit. Stay... Good boy!"  It becomes easier than ever to train puppies, and dog shows become the next Super Bowls.

I wish to sound like Gandalf (the Ian McKellen version of Gandalf). All the time.

Edited May 7, 2018 by Zath